E is for Emmanuel

12/7/09 As we approach the Christmas season that “E” word probably seems like a given---but I didn’t think of it. But God…I sat down to write this blog not having a clue of an “E” word---one that rang clear. I had some alpha bits floating in my head---eternal came to mind but not much else.

Then, I remembered a book that had the names of Jesus in it and I even remembered where it was. GLORY! At the Name of Jesus was on the bottom shelf of the lawyers’ chest in the living room. On the flyleaf I had written: From Allan and Carolyn Bowden on my 40th birthday. This “little” book has ministered to me over the years but especially that year, 1986-87. The underlines and the marginalia are reminders of His very real Presence in my life as I was struggling with two very necessary losses in my life. Naïveté and unreal expectations----those things one often has to give up in order to grow up. Also in the book was a cross-stitched “Dotsy” bookmark given to me by my former Longreen neighbor, Cheryl Mc.--it was stitched by her mother, Nancy G. It too was a reminder of God’s Presence in both our lives during another difficult season.

He was and is my Emmanuel---God with me in all my seasons.

“Behold a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Em-manu-el, which being interpreted is God with us." (Matthew 1:23, KJV)

Ponder that.

Mindless in the Mountains

12/4/09 Is it the altitude? Is it age? Is it MAC muddled mind? Why can I not hold on to thoughts? My mind is like….. a sieve? ……a piece of diaphanous fabric. Words flutter in but don’t stay long enough for me to weave them into a coherent thought---much less express it. Having a conversation with me can be a labor of love. Is that why so many are turning away or just tuning me out?

What attribute of God do I need to focus on for help in this area. I don’t care if it starts with Z, I’ll jump right to it---forget my obsession with ABC order. How else do I stop these whirlpools of words that I can’t quite qrip tightly enough or hold long enough in my grasp in order to have a complete thought?

Yesterday’s Jesus Calling’s first sentence caught my attention. “Do not be surprised by the fiery attacks on your mind…………Don’t let discouragement set in……call upon My name……My name, properly used, has unlimited Power.” Wow!

Another “D” word---He is my Defender---my only defense in the battle for my mind

Dippin' Dots (Dots, Nancy Rouse’s nickname for me, is dipping back into the “D” word bank

12/3/09

D is for DELIGHT He is my delight!

“Delight thyself also in the Lord and He will give thee the desires of thy heart.” (Psalm 37:4---Dotsy’s memory version)

Years ago (1978-79) when I was teaching her son Nathan, Carolyn Hughes cross-stitched that verse for me. It was really an answer to prayer because I was struggling trying to memorize scripture and “Voilà !” ---a gift of scripture. This visible reminder did the trick.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that the more I delighted in Him, the more He would change the desires of my heart. Now my heart’s desire is for my life to be so aligned with His---that my delights would be in sync with His delights.

D is for…………

12/2/09…………….DANCING PARTNER! You probably already knew that, but I didn’t. It was revealed to me in the middle of the night. Of course, it has to be that characteristic. It’s the way I‘ve known Him best this year.

The term doesn’t exactly resonate with spirituality but it clearly expresses the year I’ve had in His presence. It’s been a way to celebrate life when it seemed so tenuous. The beauty of dancing with Him is that’s it’s a forever dance and it just gets better---I hope to keep dancing.......as the "gift" sign above our fireplace reminds me.

Last week Larry and I watched a “Dancing with the Stars” recap. What a difference from those first weeks. As the dancers began to know and trust their partners they seem to meld. It took lots of daily contact and hard work. At the end, the top 4 partners (even those who stumbled miserably at first) showed that all that time together, even enduring pain during the practices, paid off---it was as if they were one. Is that the way it is for you? Are you one with Him? Is your time on earth a dance rehearsal for that eternal dance with Him?

It’s not too late to learn. Just turn toward Him. Step out there and take His extended hand. He’ll hold you in His embrace and be with you through those spins and dips and turns that life sends your way. You might get dizzy, or stumble a little but He won’t let you "fall headlong"---and that’s scriptural. (Psalm 37:24)

Each person’s dance is different. Looks different. Feels different. Tempo is different. Steps vary from easy to complex. As in life, we are all at varying levels of knowing Him. But all of our dances have one thing in common---a celebration of life in Him! Let Him whisper in your ear as you dance.

This weekend I hope to be dancing on the mountaintops with Him. How about you? Are you dancing with the Lord?

It’s never too late to begin your dance with God.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;…….and girded me with gladness. (Psalm 30:11)

........I hope you Dance!!!

Counseling Comforter

12/1/09 I like comfort----extraneous comfort is something I DO enjoy!! That’s why I have a stack of squishy down pillows and piles of sheets, light-weight blankets, comforters and coverlets all on the bed at once with my HHS “signed “friendship” quilt (gift) across the foot. At the foot of each bed in the house I have “nap blankies” to pull up and add to my resting comfort depending on where I am when I “hit the wall” each day--- Hoptown chum’s, cross quilt (gift) on the “mud” bed (a Liles term for Tempur-Pedic mattress) my grandmother’s quilt in the guest/Mommar’s room, and my teacups afgan (gift) on the window seat in the computer room. It’s also why I have a BIG prayer chair with wide enough arms to hold my morning “cuppa” and my “gift” prayer shawls. Plus, my closet houses more comfy clothes with pockets and adjustable/expandable waists than “decent” clothes and certainly more than formal attire.

Since MAC (my rare cancer), I have had folks from everywhere ministering to me and offering LOTS of extraneous comfort. I’ve probably brought some “sunshine funds” to the brink of bankruptcy and depleted pantries all over the Mid-South while overusing all my prayer warriors. But God…....He doesn’t go bankrupt, get depleted or overused. I know that. He has been my counselor extraordinaire since diagnosis day, January 13. He knew what was down the road for me. Because He understood my future He was the One who could direct my path. I didn’t have a clue---and neither did most of the medical world---but He did. And that was great comfort to me. As I walked the path set before me, He offered comfort through so many of His children.

Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all Comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (II Corinthians 3-4)

He Himself was my Comforter…..and still is.

BREAD OF LIFE

11/30/09 Bread, bread, everywhere bread---at least at our house last week. Everything from hot dog buns and Orowheat round bread (HHS lunch bunch’s favorite find) to cornlight bread, Molly’s wonderful homemade rolls and Mary B.s Tea Biscuits (from Kroger, but the closest I can find to Mother’s “Gigi Biscuits”---her homemade ones, using only Sunflower flour milled in Hoptown.) Five different varieties of sandwich breads were also on hand to allow choice/favorites for lunch and toast for breakfast. Now there’s barely a crumb left.

Isaiah 55:2 says, “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”

From biblical times to the 21st Century, “bread” has been necessary for sustenance. “Man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 8:3)

As we spend time each day with our “Bread of Life” we can eat His Word and be satisfied. Then we are ready to “feed” others---to be broken bread and poured out wine for their nourishment and benefit. Did I feed my children and grandchildren more than bread wrapped in cellophane this past week? Will they remember talking about Thanksgiving being a time to thank God ? Do they know that their Shug feeds on the Bread of Life? Ask yourself those questions.

Here’s some food for thought. Feed on it. Then go forth and be broken bread and poured out wine for someone else.

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life.” “He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty. (John 6:35)

***PS Tears are streaming……………Last night, just as I had finished this blog draft, Noah, who is almost 6, called to tell us that he had asked Jesus in to his heart. He said he whispered it so that he wouldn’t wake Nathan and then he went in to tell his Mommy and Daddy. He was so excited! He too will feed on the Bread of Life. I know no greater joy than this.

Bestower of Blessings

11/23 What a week this should be for focusing on blessings---both the ones received and the One who bestows them. I can think of no better meditation for this period of Thanksgiving than the 100th Psalm.

Psalm 100 (KJV)

1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before His presence with singing.
3Know ye that the LORD He is God: it is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
4Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name.
5For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.

As my family gathers here this week to cook and care for me in a special way, I want to have time with them. (So I won’t be on-line for awhile.) Together I hope we will focus on our year (& my MAC year) that has been one BIG blessing. Thanks be to God.

ALPHA-BITS

11/22/09 This ABC emphasis was giving me fits and I was only on "A." But God….had my Batesville bud, Carolyn, e-mail me about a youngsters’ choir in Jackson, MS known as the Alpha-Bits. Ah-ha! That was it----I could recap all the A words that flooded my mind with just a little info, if some was pertinent, and still finish within a “reasonable” time frame. Plus, my readers, who really should be bloggers themselves, can offer input on those important words they might have included and give their reasons.

Disclaimer---I am somewhat of a nomenclator---I create my own terms---but blog readers already know that; i.e. decaDANCE, (misspelled according to grammarians but used by me to make a point) or Answerer (11/19 entry) as a way of personifying the noun. BTW, spell check doesn’t like nomenclator but I didn’t make that one up--- I’m sure it’s at least in an unabridged dictionary. Humor me. Maybe even share some of your own.

“Answerer” addition---Ann P., a student in one of the university classes that I taught in the 80s would write Jer. 33:3 at the top of each of her exam papers. Though I know it by memory now, I had to look it up at that time. “Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not.” (KJV) I wrote “in red” on her paper that I hope she at least did her part by studying her notes rather than relying on these weekly “answer” miracles. She indeed knew the Answerer. She accepted my joke and we built on that spiritual connection. She actually was a good student and we have kept in touch via others for several years. She even honored me by “placing” a brick in my honor at the “main” city of Memphis library.
Awesome—alluded to in praise chorus of first “A” blog
All in All---You’re my strength when I am weak. You’re the treasure that I seek. You’re my “all in all.”(Thanks Sam & Lo for partial lyrics from this Point of Grace song.)
Ephesians 1:23…the fullness of Him who fills all in all.
Alpha and Omega---omitted at this time because I’ll probably end with that one.
Anchor---The night before my first surgery my brother, whose daughter, Allyson, died in a car accident, called me to touch base and tearfully told me that he wished he had my faith. I reminded him that he did. He just had to hold on to it. It’s the only anchor that holds. I’ve never known pain like his but in the pain I have known, it’s been my faith that has anchored me. The "author and finisher" of that faith is Jesus. (Hebrews 12:2)

All of us know pain---it’s universal, whether physical, mental, spiritual or emotional. But not everyone has an anchor.
Even in times of my deepest emotional pain the Lord anchored me. He was my hope when the world seemed dark as if the very windows of my soul were tinted with a blackness.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews 6:19)

Alpha Bits---sounds like a cereal that would be good for the soul if you considered one of the Lord's attributes each morning with your “cuppa” praise.

Aunt Ada

11/21/09 Not biblical but it does start with “A” and my great Aunt Ada was a positive influence in my life---a real part of my spiritual heritage. She accepted me as I was and I loved her dearly.

This “assigned” piece was one that I wrote when attending the Governor’s Writing Academy in 1992. I sat under the tutelage of Harvard’s, Dr. Richard Marius. What an experience! We were to write about something unique to us and naturally I started with A. Subsequent pieces were titles with “B” and “C”----but then you already guessed that, I’m sure.

I’m including this on the blog partly for my children and grandchildren. This true story was eventually published and I just came across a tattered copy. Not big time publishing but its appearance in the “Kentucky New Era” gave Mother bragging rights at “The Tuesday Club” (bridge) for an entire summer.

Avocado Summer

Richard Marius said it well, “thoughts come from associations.” Since I spend a great deal of time eating, many of my thoughts are naturally food-related. Take for example, an avocado, that pear-shaped fruit from California. In the 90’s, Angie Dickinson promoted them and promoted them well, but no one personally promoted them for me as effectively as my great Aunt Ada did the summer of 1954.

The days were long and the afternoons were especially hot that summer. My only respite would come on Tuesday afternoons when at the age of 7, almost 8, I would walk, unaccompanied, down the sidewalk past the Southalls, and across Alumni Avenue until I came to 2113 South Virginia Street.

As I reached the front porch, Aunt Ada would open wide the big, wooden screen door and in a gentle embrace remind me to be quiet so that I wouldn’t awaken Mr. Mabry who was napping in his chair. (He was Uncle Mabry to me but she always called him Mr. Mabry.) Following her through the house I would make my way to the kitchen.

There the two of us would begin the ritual of slicing a large, perfectly ripened avocado, removing the large wooden looking seed and exposing the soft, yellow pulp with the green edges. Each half would be placed on a fine bone china plate ringed with delicate pink flowers. These plates were then placed on the carrying tray that had been laid with a linen cloth. (Aunt Ada always “laid” linen and tea.) I would then be given the honor of drizzling our delicacies, ever so lightly, with oil.

When I finished my part of the ritual, Aunt Ada would remove her organdy apron and place a spoon---her Louisiana sterling ones---on each of our plates. We would then carry them to the back porch where both our iced water with a twist of lemon and a linen napkin with the drawn hemstitched border would be waiting on the small, round metal table. She would add our plates to that arrangement, straighten our stemmed crystal glasses and then we would both sit down on the big white painted glider.

After we were seated, she would pull the table up between us and most of the time would commence our little teatime extolling the virtues of the avocado---for the way it looked and tasted, for its vitamin content and for all the things it was going to do for my skin. Other than that, very little was said but much was felt. That summer I acquired a life long love of avocados.

Sweet story, nice ending. Right? Wrong! The FDA, the National Health Council, author of the T-factor diet as well as my own doctor have told me that “at my age” I have to cut back on my fat intake. Thirty grams of fat a day is the “max” they say. Well, that stinks! One avocado has thirty-two grams of fat.

Here it is summer and the only good thing that this Memphis heat does for me is conjure up those fond memories of Aunt Ada and her avocados---the ones drizzled with oil, no less. So, what is one to do? How does one resolve the dilemma without tarnishing a memory or getting fat? Do I allow visions of fat grams to negate the treasured recollections of those summer afternoons in Kentucky? Do I give up the memory of that time when eating an avocado on a back porch with a much loved great aunt had been such a pleasant thing to do?

Aunt Ada is probably “up there” smiling down on me saying, “Let her eat fat; it will make her skin glow.” So, as an act of rebellion against the “powers that be” and as a tribute to on little old lady’s love of avocados, I made Ellen's avocado dip using twelve avocados. I ate the whole thing! After all, Aunt Ada lived a slim and trim life for 89 years---feasting all the while on avocados. Even as they closed the coffin everyone still marveled at the glow of her skin.

Today as I recall that event, I’m grateful for a childless aunt who took me under her wing and always treated me like a young lady---what acceptance. Serving water to a 7 year-old in a crystal goblet. Imagine that! Her silver flatware was a gift from her Aunt Anna Barr, aka "Stockade Annie" & Uncle Mabry’s sister. The silver was a gift to Mrs. Barr as a welcoming gift from the congregation of the parish in Louisiana her young husband, John Barr, was called to pastor. That silver is now mine and I think I’ll get it out this week and treat my grand boys to a tea party---but we’ll use sippy cups instead of crystal---for a few more years, at least. I might even add some avocado because my skin is so dry and drawn from 4 surgeries that I could use a little oil. I could certainly use the "glow." Maybe I'll just rub it on my face!

Do you feel accepted in the beloved? Accepted by the brethren? Do you accept all of those God ordains to cross your path?

Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

A is for ACCEPTANCE. He is our “Acceptor.” (bill of exchange)

ANSWERS………..

11/19/09…………….to your questions.
How are you feeling?
Today--the answer is tired.
After the 4th & last surgery—the answer was relief. (a favorite emotion of mine)
Why no more surgeries? Two more would be required to give just 10% improvement in the nose/mouth area. Larry and I didn’t even need time for that decision. Enough is enough. I’m in my 6th decade and being put to sleep can take it’s toll, not to mention lots of sick days. Eventually I would end up in sick bank and I think those days need to go to those in critical need.
What’s ahead?
This week—rest, appointment with Memphis doc and continuing hassle trying to schedule with infectious disease.
Next week—family comes for Thanksgiving to cook & care for me---YEA!!
Next year---??? I do hope to get new glasses---my eyesight has changed
Biggest surprise? Dr. Saporito saying he needed to Biopsy my new ”too suspicious” spot. MRSA diagnosis was a close 2nd—didn’t know what it was---still not sure of appropriate regimen for me because I can’t get in to see the doctor.
Biggest challenge? My MAC-muddled mind!
Biggest blessing? That prayers continued from around the world---BFA in Germany, Holland, France, India, Mexico, and all over the good ole USA---folks didn’t quit praying.
First soft food?---Mary Flo’s mashed potatoes
Biggest disappointment?—Still haven’t gotten to meet Kari S. from Park Cities Pres. who was instrumental in introducing us to the Ridleys. I’ll be forever grateful.
How do you really feel about your face? Grateful to have one that is pretty recognizable---though the crooked smile still takes some getting used to.
Life lesson learned? So many---I just need to remember them and not resort to “my” status quo of self-reliance, self- protection----just too much self in general.

The answer to all of life’s questions is God. We serve an awesome God.
Remember the praise chorus:

Our God is an awesome God.
He reigns from heaven above,
With wisdom, power and love.
Our God is an awesome God.

Cole’s summer sermon reminded me that “the Bible is not the answer book. The Bible introduces us to the ANSWERER!!”

A is for...... our ANSWERER!