DREAD is not dead………….

5/23/10………..”it’s” still living in my head. I use the gender-neutral pronoun, it, because I’m not sure how else to classify a monster. I have this “dread” monster in my life. Just ask Larry. Sometimes it’s hard to keep “it” at bay especially when stressed or extremely tired---both together become one gigantic joy robber. My head actually feels full and heavy as if it could explode---too tired to even think clearly. That could be a result of my ebbing "end of the school year" energy.
I haven’t even quite closed out of school yet and already I’m overwhelmed by all the “undones” of the summer schedule. Why can’t I embrace the joy of time off for family and friends? Where is the joyful anticipation? Larry’s celebration/honor, 2 destination “family” weddings, trips with friends, art camp and birthday parties at 1152. I think I’m still that Mother Duck that Dr. Stenberg dubbed me---the one situated on the placid water "who is actually paddling like hell underneath to keep all her “ducks” afloat."

Why would I have any feelings of dread about a summer so full and glorious? I am actually fearful, as I “look down the road” of getting it all done----done in a timely manner and done “right”---which to me translates to perfect, which I know is impossible. I just want to do all things for all people and not disappoint. I feel so incapable.

Hmmm……….”looking down the road.” I know better. “What if’s” are a major character trait of DM. (dread monster) Looking down the road instead of looking up----wrong focal point, Dotsy.

I need to allow His power to strengthen me and work within me.
I need to quit resurrecting the dread!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, (Ephesians 3:20)