Claustrophobia

3/19/09 Claustrophobia
Can I define it? Yes---E. Purcell and A. Braddock will know it’s claustrum in the Latin (shut in place) Last night my place/space was closing up. Fear of suffocation began to set in (M. Phoenix knows what that’s like)----my one healthy nostril was stopped up with sinus type congestion and my right nostril was full of gauze type packing stuff to protect my new nose floor plus the cartilage Dr. Ha has to re-form soon. My mouth is sewn shut and in the night it had gotten so dry that my one side hole was stuck. (It’s there to aid breathing, let out vomit (PTL haven't had that) and for feeding by the syringe.) I felt like a whale with my spout plugged. I couldn’t get a good deep breath and I so wanted a good deep breath. I couldn’t even exhale except with a little puff. I felt like I needed to get a big gulp of air but was having to suck it through a cocktail straw.
I know in my mind that claustrophobia is an irrational fear---but in my body in the middle of the night it felt so-o-o-o real---like prison bars.
Those prison bars kept closing in—but God…… I know the One who set the prisoners free. (Psalm 146:7) I also knew that “lack of air” could lead to a panic attack, so I propped the corner of my mouth with the side of the syringe and squirted water throughout the night to help the dryness and “I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”(Psa. 34:4) Was it easy? No. Did I make it through the night? Yes.
This morning, Larry called Dr. Ha who said I could gently suction nostril and take “liquid” Benadryl---which promptly knocked me out. When I finally lifted my head, I began to look up verses about breath because I guarantee, the Lord has a lesson in this somewhere for me.
I know that my life is but a breath (Job 7:7) so with the breath I have I will praise the Lord. “Let everything that hath breath, praise the Lord.” (Psalm 150:6)