Borderless Jigsaw Puzzle

8/1/09
Approaching 40 years with “my man” and seeing his mother (Mommar) without hers (would have been 65 years just 2 weeks ago), I am sobered. I can’t imagine what life would look like without Larry. Then I read in Beth Moore’s, Voices of the Faithful, of a widow who described it as I was feeling. Puzzle pieces of one’s life in disarray everywhere.
Mommar must feel that way, even in her tenuous mental state. She has teared up several times today and told me of her neighbor whose husband has also died and the neighbor’s anger that her hubby died before she did. She spoke of the neighbor’s fear. She was empathizing and it was painful for her. I’m sure that she feels that there are no borders for her to build on in this new jumble of a widow’s puzzle. Where will she start? What can she do?
How can I help? She was already struggling with beginning dementia and Grandaddy was her one stabilizing factor---that and her home. Now she has to leave her home each weekend to stay with us or another of her children. She’d really rather be at home. She has no control---no car keys or house keys anymore. She’s trying so hard to hold on to some semblance of her past---life as she once knew it. It is so painful to watch.
I know that God has assigned our portions and made our lot secure---those boundary lines of ours (even the ones we can’t see) are in His hands and He can rebuild the shattered pieces in our lives (& minds)---one piece at a time. But how can I help her understand? Is it even possible? Maybe the lesson is for us, the caregivers, as somedays her mind understands and somedays it doesn’t.
Losing a spouse can be devastating, I’m sure. Losing control of certain aspects of your life (& memory) can be equally upsetting.
It’s hard to make sense out of life when our minds are in chaos and our dreams have been shattered. But God…………

“Lord, I lay this all at the foot of the cross. Use me to minister to Mommar even when I can’t begin to understand all she’s going through. I pray Your best for her. It doesn’t have to make sense to me---I just trust Your leading even when the circumstances seem overwhelming both physically and emotionally. As a family, may we become linked and locked in spiritual unity to provide the best border she needs for this new jigsaw-type season in her life.”