11/25/10 Daddy took Larry and me to lunch as “his” guests to the “Friendship House.” Actually, brother Bobby and Larry worked out the details because Daddy had even forgotten to sign up for himself. He had just responded to my comment of all I was cooking for our Thanksgiving lunch with, “I eat at Friendship House everyday.” So, as not to mess with his routine, I put the dinner in the freezer for another time.As we left to walk over for the lunch, the rain started and Daddy, somewhat flustered, asked how we would get there. He sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know how to drive there. Whew, that put a lump in my throat!
Upon arrival, we entered a different door than Daddy’s “normal” entrance---this too caused momentary concern on his part---as if he feared being lost or not knowing how to escort me in. Heartbreaking.
Finding a table, with his name on it, he admitted that this wasn’t where he normally sat but we assured him this was his table because his name was written with “2 guests” included. Reading that helped a lot and the dinner turned out to be a real "tasty" treat.
It was also an eye-opening event for me. Walkers were everywhere----some lining the wall. Red, green, black, gray and several shades of blue. All with wheels, hand brakes and a little seat---some put their plates on that part. One lady lifted hers to deposit an extra roll. I assume for her later consumption. Daddy’s is black, though he didn’t need his because I was his walker. Almost every table had at least one pulled up beside it, though a few had canes and two folks were in wheelchairs.
The treat in all of this was not only being with Daddy but also in being privileged to see how family and caregivers don’t just discard the elderly.
Proverbs 23:22 Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her………. (The Message)Aging is difficult. As Daddy realizes how much ground he is losing both mentally and physically, it’s hard on him. It’s hard on all of us. It’s not life as we once knew it. Daddy is not a complainer but this season has recently discovered difficulties for him. He needs help in new ways. I see his fear when he announces that he can’t quite remember how to shave or admit that he can no longer find his way.
Yet, he still knows I am his daughter and he proudly introduced me to Pedro and Bertha, one couple whom he still recognizes from years ago. What a treat that was. He also introduced me to the lady at the next table. (Pauline Joyner, age 97) Then he leaned in and whispered, I have no idea who she is. What a treat to share that joke with him---though his “stage whisper” could probably be heard by half the room.
What a privilege it is to spend time with Daddy and honor him by giving back.
Ephesians 6:1) "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." (The Message)
