Daffodils

3/31/09 "Daffodils"

Remember the Wordsworth poem when the poet “wandered lonely as a cloud” and came upon a “crowd…of golden daffodils?” They were fluttering and dancing (natch!) in the breeze---it seemed like 10,000 as those daffodils “tossed their heads in sprightly dance.”
Even the dancing waves couldn’t out do the daffodils.

My mother loved daffodils. Even as a youngster I knew when spring was coming because of the crocus, grape hyacinths and daffodils that began to bloom around our steps and walkways and how that thrilled Mother’s heart. I tried to add to that joy once by “raiding” Dr. Dade’s yard of his award winning King Alfred’s and proudly presenting these prize daffodils to her. The chagrin on her face was a big clue that my procurement, though well intended, was VERY inappropriate. “Young lady, you will take these back to Dr. Dade right this minute and tell him you’re sorry! Never take something that doesn’t belong to you. Do you understand me?” Not sure of her exact words, I just know that she didn’t monkey around with soothing my ego or worry about damaging my psyche----I just knew I’d better not ever do that again.

As I said, Mother loved daffodils. Actually, she, as her mother, (Mama Davenport) loved all flowers. It seemed we always had fresh flowers at 2211 South Virginia. I never remember her running out to the nursery to buy bulbs or plants----certainly no Lowe’s garden centers back then. I just remember that she exchanged Sweet William, pinks and other “slips” (plant cuttings) with her friends, especially those in the Tuesday Club. So, I grew up with hollyhocks as tall as I was, a cutting garden that produced baby’s breath, and a mom tolerant of a daughter with a brown thumb. My only interest was in wildflowers--may apple, trilliums and jack-in- the-pulpit, so she helped me nurture those under the big “messy” mulberry tree.

Last Sunday when we were in Kentucky, Larry drove Daddy and me out to Riverside Cemetery to “visit” Mother. The afternoon was gray and chilly almost dreary---not like the sunny mornings I spent watching Mother tend her flowers those many years ago. Even though there were limbs and scattered blossoms and even overturned pots that had been strewn about from the recent storm and hail, my focus was elsewhere. I saw two clumps of daffodils BLOOMING at Mother’s grave---the grave of a mother who put a houseful of love and family, friends, fun and fresh flowers “in her dash." (Remember the importance of that dash on one's gravestone----the only part of life a person controls!)
“Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” (Proverbs 31:28)

Mildred Davenport Adams
12/10/22 - 8/13/01

These were not 10,000 golden daffodils as Wordsworth had seen, or any as spectacular as Dr. Dade’s, but these white daffodils were from MY yard----Mother thought green and white were cool and serene and were the only colors she ever had in the planters along the walkways at the front of our house. I had dug those bulbs last fall from around my front walk and carefully carried them to Kentucky to plant on either end of her headstone---just hoping they would make it. They did. Fresh flowers just like she likes----

And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils. (Wordsworth, 1804)

Memorial Service

3/30/09 Bob’s Memorial Service

In memory of
Robert Eugene Hardick
(husband of Diane Sivells Hardick)
1939-2009

May his family know God’s peace and love and may his “coin” ministry continue to bear fruit. To God be the glory!

“…Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord…” (Rev. 14:13)

Mom in Kentucky

3/29/09
Mom will not "post" for a few days. She is in Kentucky celebrating Grandaddy Brud's clear margins and mourning with her dear friend, Diane, the loss of her hubby. (Eccles. 3:1,4)

ALA

3/28/09 Remembering.......................

Allyson Leigh Adams
3/28/1977-10/7/1995

My precious, beautiful niece would have been 32 today. She is the real dancer in the family and now lives forever with “The Lord of the Dance.”

DAY OF REST

3/27/09 Homecoming--it might be brief but already has been blessed. 

Arrived greeted by “Welcome Home” balloons on mailbox, yellow ribbons around trees and pink roses w/ “Dotsy” ribbon sitting on the kitchen table, lots of hugs, cards, soup, calls and visits----love feels so good. 

Stayed in pjs all day as this became a day of rest---I spent all day easing into my day and decided not to feel guilty about it as I am now about to ease into bed for a long night’s rest…..knowing true rest comes from Him. 

• Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. (Psalm 37:7) 
• Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. (Psalm 116:7) 
• One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind. (Ecclesiastes 4:6)
•  …..and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is, and walk in it: and you will find rest for your souls (Jeremiah 6:16) 
•  “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matt. 11:27-30) 
• In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8) 

 Goodnight.

Wedding Dance

Date Unknown-until 1 hour ago The Wedding Dance

Remember the Western Union telegrams of old---those yellow paper messages with short snippets that were delivered (stop)---sometimes by a kid on a bike(stop)? I think they were a precursor for text messages. They were “pithy grabbers” of sorts. I even have a file of pithy grabbers b/c I love them---saying lots w/ few words---like poetry, concise but full of meaning. TP, a caringbridge blogger & CD, an author, gave me the idea---the one my Molly enters in the blog will be based on the outcome of my surgeries.

If I return to Memphis---and I am coming home today.

Coming home STOP
Put out my dancing shoes STOP
The Lord and I are dancing to a new song STOP
We’ll never stop!!

Coming home to dance at Halle & Kyle’s wedding---MAC was not the last dance for me.

Royal Encounters

3/25/09 Day in the life of a “one-anothered” woman………..
Breakfast in bed is a delightful way to begin the day. Larry serves me each morning with his little inventive “pasteboard” box with a little edge to keep the “colorful” syringe choices of the day from rolling off. It’s not exactly the inlaid variety of a Babcock’s bed tray that he serves me on, but it gets the job done. Larry lays the linen---no doilies available---using a paper towel with the colorful music staff & that’s a nice touch. He tries to fill syringes ahead of time to expedite the time. There’s always one syringe for tea, one for juice and one for the “mush” of the day---usually cream of wheat with a side of applesauce. Now if I could just think of a way to getMary Flo’s coconut cake into a syringe---hm-m-m a cuppa and a piece of cake, that’s my kind of breakfast-----'cause believe me, that lady is some kind of baker!

This morning after breakfast, Larry and I strolled down to Snider Plaza and had an encounter w/ US “royalty.” Our first indication was the Secret Service guy, with his swivel neck & that “CIA look” standing by the cattycornered SUV (w/inside blinking lights) guarding/blocking the silver Suburban at the Snider/Rosedale corner. Laura Bush was also at Snider’s Plaza---you have to love her, she’s a librarian. Larry and I were the only folks out and she waved to us as she was escorted to her car. I used “signing” to signal that I pray for her (‘cause I did every Sat. the Bushes were in office) and she waved again from the window. I actually had my camera out so I snapped and you can just barely see her hand in the back window. It might be as fuzzy as a UFO photo but I know I had my encounter. (9:58 am CST)

Lunched later at little restaurant whose name beckoned me. “Food from Galilee” is just a stone’s throw from the Ridley’s home. Mary Flo said it had been there since her SMU days so we decided to check it out. Great choice because they had a Verminelli soup. (their spelling, not mine) It had finely chopped parsley, tomatoes and broth and small bits of vermicelli noodles—which went right up my straw b/c the cook added extra broth to help me out. Maybe the piped in music added to the ambience as well---think belly dance MUZAK!

The choice was even better because the setting in this almost sparse, unassuming place of wooden square tables for two with light wood chairs, was thought provoking. Faded botanical photos of almond blossoms as well as irises that grow only in the mossy area around Tiberius hung alongside large poster prints of Jerusalem and the Sea of Galilee.

Perusing the menu of Middle Eastern cuisine choices, I saw the “mensa” or hors d’ oeuvres of kubbi, sambosa---lots of stuff with bulgur wheat, lamb, tahini sauce and grape leaves---and wondered if Jesus dined on such fare as he ministered in the area of Galilee/Jerusalem, the center/cradle of both Judaism and Christianity. Maybe He dined on the small fish from the Sea of Galilee, which have provided sustenance for its fishermen for many years---just like the ones in the miracle of the loaves and the fishes.

The Sea of Galilee---Israel’s largest freshwater lake (Sea of Gennesirit or YamKinneret in the Hebrew) is also noted for sudden squalls or storms and that’s when I got out my journal.
MAC was a sudden storm in my life that came quickly and felt very threatening. The story of Simon (Peter), his brother Andrew and James and John from Matthew 8:23-27 was similar. They were out on the Sea of Galilee with the Lord and He was peacefully asleep when a squall seemed to quickly arise with great fury. “A great (shaking) storm shook the disciples” so that it caused them to call out to the Lord---“we are perishing.” Obviously they had forgotten who was in the boat with them. Jesus rebuked both them and the wind. “Why so timid you men of little faith?” The wind and waves became calm. I wonder how the disciples must have felt at their own “lack of faith?” Before questioning their actions remember unbelief can slip forth in an instant, in all our lives. “I believe. God help thou my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

I needed to always remember the royalty whom I encountered at age 13—the One who was and still is in the “boat” with me. I, too, thought of "perishing" from the MAC surgery that was ahead. I don’t think I ever forgot who was in the boat with me---I just saw death as a possibility. But it was so important to remember, “I know the One” who can rebuke the wind of any of life’s storms if He so chooses. The winds and the waves obey Him---pretty profound, eh?

"One-anothering"

3/24/09 “One-anothering”
Sermon notes from Taylor Park 1/11/09 (day before my biopsy)
“One anothering the suffering:
Applications for Lamenting and Comforting”

God’s Word has so many admonitions for “one-anothering.” (30, according to Taylor)

Love one another earnestly from a pure heart. (1 Peter 1:22) seems to be the basis/cornerstone for all of the other “one-anothers.” This action is not a casual love but one compelled by God. It is intense, deep and intentional. It is from the heart.

More “one anothers” for consideration---these are easily an overflow of loving one another:
· Bear one another’s burdens. (Gal. 6:2)
· Honor one another above self. (Rom. 12:10)
· Be kind to one another. (Eph.4:32)
· Show hospitality to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9) This isn’t entertainment; this is done freely by coming alongside others in desperate times of suffering. (Could write an entire blog on this aspect of one-anothering.)
· Humbly serve one another. (John 13:14)
· Pray for one another----healing included here. (James 5:6)

I have been “ONE-ANOTHERED!”--------- one-anothered from Memphis to Dallas and across the globe and I am grateful!

What about you? Has someone “one-anothered” you? How did you respond? Do they know of your heart’s gratitude? If not, tell them.

Is there someone in your life/sphere of influence you could one-another? Consider “one-anothering” someone in pain whether emotional or physical by offering to serve during this time of their suffering. Doesn’t have to be a biggie like illness or death---though it could be. Just respond in “one-anothering” to the one(s) God brings to mind or across your path this next week.

Just do it! Make today a day to move self (excuses) out of the way and “one-another” someone else or several others. You’ll be glad you did and so will they.

3/23/09 Welcome back from Spring Break, HHS!
Journal jottings:
Yesterday’s blog was about peace. In true Jesus Calling fashion/providence, that day’s entry also gave insights on peace. “Trust is the channel through which my peace flows to you.” I needed that paradigm shift from planner to “truster.” (Did I just coin a new word?) I just didn’t connect the two until meditating later in the day. I also played “catch-up” reading in My Utmost for His Highest, because it had been packed deep in an unusual place and was just “found.” Those entries were also in line with all that God had been showing me---especially the “delight” part---the very word I had chosen to try and describe my situation recently. Oswald Chambers had a great way of expressing truths about faith that mirrored what I was trying to say. “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.” …..the root of faith is the knowledge of a Person….”To me, all that is affirmation that I’m right where I’m suppose to be and that feels good.. Thanks be to God.

Peace

3/22/09 Peace
Submit to God and be at peace with Him. (Job 22:21)

What strikes me most about the Ridley’s home is its peacefulness---whether on the patio with a palette of pansies winking at me, or ensconced on the screened-in porch with a cup of tea (make that a syringe of tea) or snuggled in bed with the morning sun streaming through the shutters—serenity reigns. Even the neighborhood has been conducive to this sense of calm and peace with meandering paths alongside the creek at the nearby park. Spring is in bloom everywhere providing the visual of God’s hand that nourishes my soul.

All of this has the trappings of peace and has been a great place for healing and restoration. Yet, if I have learned anything in the past few months, it is that there is a peace---a peace within---that transcends all circumstances, whether in a beautiful residential area or the stark cold room of a surgery lab, where they are cutting holes in your face while you are wide-eyed.

I’m sure some people wince when they seem me walking down these Dallas sidewalks “unmasked” and can not imagine that there is peace within. Even folks who see me “masked” at the upscale shopping center at the end of the street often look down or away with a sympathetic nod because I’m sure they only seen remnants of pain---fish lips and stitches and a big gauze bandage that oozes with ointment necessary to keep it affixed to my “ouchie.” They can’t see past my condition/circumstance. They don’t know the grateful, rejoicing and yet peaceful heart that resides within.

I’m not saying that I haven’t struggled through this MAC attack--microcystic adnexal carcinomas are nothing to joke about but…..I have always seen the cross at the juxtaposition of my frailty and God’s strength. I would not have chosen this---let me encapsulate---1/10/09 prayer---“Lord, if it doesn’t matter for eternity, I would rather that the biopsy not show cancer.” It was cancer of the rarest form. So the answer was---"it matters for eternity" and if I never know, how or why, this side of heaven, that doesn’t matter----I just need to know that my struggle with MAC matters for His glory. Therein lies the peace.

Actually, I am overwhelmed that God considered me faithful for this “event” because I certainly didn’t “feel” faithful. You know what? I didn’t have to ---it’s been His faithfulness all along. This has been and will continue to be for sometime, His dance with me. He was to do the leading, I just had to follow. (submit) At times when I would start to swoon during some of those dips, that can be part of a dance, He held on to me. Then, sometimes it was as if He put His hand under my chin and gently turned my face back toward Him---all the while keeping His other hand in full support at my back. He has indeed been the “lifter up of my head” even when the March 5 consult seemed especially grim. The prognosis for healing from first surgery could take up to 6 months b/c of CT scan indications of a wide area requiring future surgeries-- possibly for the next 1 ½ years. Larry and I chose not to tell this except to family. Once more, I had to deal with fear---briefly--before once again surrendering to His will not mine. (The scan possibly could have shown damaged cartilage/scarring from a ‘05 fall??) That part doesn’t matter, what mattered was what I did with the information that I knew at the time. It was at this point that I really “danced” with Him---in His strength, with His courage----for I had none of my own. As I’ve said since early on, “I have not been dismayed.” But this time I was resolute---Not my will, but Thy will. I was ready for whatever He had for me and I was flooded with peace---not just warm fuzzy moments of calm but a quiet acceptance that bordered on delight. “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusts in Thee.” (Isa. 26:3)) That’s what it was---perfect peace, His peace became mine.

No Internet

I might not have internet access for a while but I'm being well taken care of by Dr. Fine, Dr. Fine, and Dr. Fine.

Literary Devices for Old Brains

3/20/09
Acronyms and acrostics---Don’t you just love them?? I do---they’re right up there with alliteration as a way of helping me remember.
MIRACLE AND BLESSINGS:

Mohs procedure sufficient to remove MAC.
Invasiveness less than 1st thought, next surgery in April not Sept.
Radiation not needed---saved my teeth.
Adnexal carcinoma gone.
C for Christ is bigger than c for cancer.
Lord is the “lifter up of my head.
EKG showed no heart attack.

And…………………………………..

Baylor, Beth and Breath of God.
Lord & Larry---neither have left me for a minute.
Ensure---Yum-m-m-m, that’s one way to get some chocolate!
Siblings, Buddy, Josh and Molly, together to serve and sacrifice
Syringe, my new fork.
Incalculable—too many blessings to try and list all.
Nurses—Martha (recently diagnosed w/cervical cancer) & Bonnie.
Gas, yep it’s a normal aftermath, so it means surgery is over!
Sleep, sweet sleep---the Lord gives to me even in my sleep.

Claustrophobia

3/19/09 Claustrophobia
Can I define it? Yes---E. Purcell and A. Braddock will know it’s claustrum in the Latin (shut in place) Last night my place/space was closing up. Fear of suffocation began to set in (M. Phoenix knows what that’s like)----my one healthy nostril was stopped up with sinus type congestion and my right nostril was full of gauze type packing stuff to protect my new nose floor plus the cartilage Dr. Ha has to re-form soon. My mouth is sewn shut and in the night it had gotten so dry that my one side hole was stuck. (It’s there to aid breathing, let out vomit (PTL haven't had that) and for feeding by the syringe.) I felt like a whale with my spout plugged. I couldn’t get a good deep breath and I so wanted a good deep breath. I couldn’t even exhale except with a little puff. I felt like I needed to get a big gulp of air but was having to suck it through a cocktail straw.
I know in my mind that claustrophobia is an irrational fear---but in my body in the middle of the night it felt so-o-o-o real---like prison bars.
Those prison bars kept closing in—but God…… I know the One who set the prisoners free. (Psalm 146:7) I also knew that “lack of air” could lead to a panic attack, so I propped the corner of my mouth with the side of the syringe and squirted water throughout the night to help the dryness and “I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.”(Psa. 34:4) Was it easy? No. Did I make it through the night? Yes.
This morning, Larry called Dr. Ha who said I could gently suction nostril and take “liquid” Benadryl---which promptly knocked me out. When I finally lifted my head, I began to look up verses about breath because I guarantee, the Lord has a lesson in this somewhere for me.
I know that my life is but a breath (Job 7:7) so with the breath I have I will praise the Lord. “Let everything that hath breath, praise the Lord.” (Psalm 150:6)

Hospital Happenings

I danced on the way to the OR, Room #38 and these strange "pumping socks" are keeping me "light on my feet"- (actually off my feet) so I'm contemplating new modes as I lie here. Dance with me my friends- "The Lord of the Dance" can lead us all- he certainly led me in a "wedding song". Today- Remember, I'm a member of the church, the Bride of Christ. 

 A friend loveth at all times (Prov. 17:17) even in an OR room- for 6 minutes that I timed -7:34 margarita needle inserted- 7:37 last clock tick seen. Still time compulsive.

Nite! Nite!

"Just in Case Letter"

3/15/09 To: Buddy, (Day) Josh and Molly (Corey)
Dearest ones,
I know y’all are used to these “just in case” letters. Usually I write them before your dad and I embark on a big trip, especially if it involves a long flight over water. This time it is different because of the locale of the journey but the urgency is the same. So, "just in case" you've forgotten from the last letter I wrote, I want each of you to know how deeply that I love you and what blessings you have brought to my life.
As the apostle John wrote to Gauis, I, too pray…….”that you may prosper in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers. For I rejoiced greatly when brethren (others) came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children (physical & spiritual) walk in truth.” (3 John v.2-4)

I want you to continue to walk/dance in truth, love, peace and kindness as you walk worthy of the gospel of Christ. The truth has set you free and you know who is the Truth----the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Dr. William Orr, a Pittsburg Theological Seminary professor, said, “ You know how when you find somebody who you know is in touch with the truth, how you want to be in the presence of that person?” When Buddy first went to Dallas Theological Seminary, he said, “Mom, you can’t imagine what it’s like to get to sit at the feet of godly men everyday.” I've not had that privilege but I do have direct access to the Master Rabbi and it's while sitting at His feet that I receive truth and sustenance. Each of you can also sit at His feet every day and learn truth from the Master teacher---I desire that for you.

As long as the Lord allows my presence on earth, I will continue to pray your “birthday” Proverb for you along with 2 Timothy 1:12 “…for I know whom (you) have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what (Buddy age 8, Josh 2/14/86, Molly 4/28/87) have committed to Him until that day.” Your part is in the next verse, “Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.”

May your lives be such an overflow of His love and truth to family, friends and others, whom God puts in your path, that they are drawn to you. Then you can make a difference in their lives. Life is all about relationships, not rules. Remember your time on earth is just one small part of all of life, so make your “dash” count. Continue to be a dancer not a critic---it's the Liles way.
Nite, I love you.
Mom

Love Letter

3/14/09 When's the last time you wrote a love letter to express gratitude?
To: Larry
As I lie here next to you with the familiar “night noises” of almost 40 years, tears stream because of gratitude. Luckily, I always keep pen and pencil by the bed for my night THOTS, as I call them---one just never knows when the urge to “jot” might come, especially nowadays---just 2 days ‘til the surgeries begin.
Jottings in the dark:
I am grateful……………………….
· For your patience---everyone knows that is your strong character trait, especially your UM students. (Gal. 5:22)
· For your kindness--- which has been overflowing to your folks these last few weeks when I know how tired you’ve been. Yet you continued to work behind the scenes on their behalf and still make those late night hospital visits.
(Col. 3:12-15)
· For nightly back rubs that are too high in number to count. (God loves a cheerful giver and so do I.)
· For your “daddying” ability----you’re the best---just ask
your kids. (Eph.6:4)
· For your playful spirit---you’ve always been the biggest kid on Longreen and now you’re the favorite playmate of your grandboys—all 5 of them. They love their Pop-Pop!
(Psa. 125:3)
· For your ability to make me laugh---when I’m considering “casket attire” you’re suggesting-------------a PG13 comment that is so you! (Prov. 17:22a)
· For your willingness to have dishwater hands and to know how the vacuum works. (not scriptural--but a worthy trait)
· For your commitment to the Lord, family and your friends---you have lots of friends, often an atypical trait for men. (Matt. 22: 37-39) (Prov. 17:17a)
· For your dedication to me during this season with MAC---I trust you to be there for me every step that God leads. (Prov. 16:9)
· For your love---you know everything about me and still choose to love me and that is remarkable. (1Peter 3:7)

Nite, I love you---200 years as my wedding band says---our way of saying forever, in 1969.
Dotsy (your baby honey, of old---or maybe now it’s just OLD!)

Cabin Comments

Yesterday, I ventured up to the lodge with laptop in hand to check for an e-mail from Dr. Ha's office. It wasn't there but while I was on-line, Josh "popped up" in the bottom right corner of gmail with a "mornin' "----I was so excited. You see, I don't even have a cell phone, so..... I don't text (unless you count the one time at Seagrove Beach when I texted (I don't even know if there's a past tense) 3 words to Molly from Josh's phone just to practice. I'm so glad Josh set me up last fall w/ the gmail account and a little bit of "chatting" info. It's so fun to type back and forth---plus, this form of instant messaging keeps me connected to my son who seems so far away in Brooklyn. I type a little--he types faster using abbreviated terms--we hit enter and voila!! We just have to both be on-line at the same time and we don't set it up--- it's totally serendipitous for me when it happens. When he's not on-line, we don't connect---that little message comes up that says, "Joshua is off-line, your comments will be available for him the next time he logs on."

It reminded me of the "Upper Room" entry from a few days ago that likened instant messaging to prayer. God's always there---on-line---it's just my prayers that make the connection. That's why I need to "pray without ceasing." ( I Thess. 5:17)

This week I have been praying for many of you and in my journal I noted that there is a "holy ground," of sorts, between those of us who pray for each other. We stay connected because we both have the same Source. Chapter 4 of James tells us, "we have not, because we ask not." So, I am asking the Lord to keep us connected next week, even when I am "out of it," because He can hear the prayer of my heart even when I am incoherent---and I'm taking you, my prayer warriors, into surgery with me. You're going in my heart.

Sunday Synopsis

3/8/09 Summary "post" each Sunday, if possible
Crackers for breakfast---the plain ole saltine kind and plain noodles with butter for lunch---I guess that lets you pretty much gauge the state of my body. I did have a restless night last night so that could have a little to do with it---or maybe it’s that blood I’ve had to give away this week, leaving me a little weak. My first “tech” was in training---good thing for both of us that I had a prominent vein and he had lots of supervisors checking on us. Could also be that I’m counting down to surgery days as well as absorbing the unsettling possibilities of the unknowns.

So maybe I’m just in a slump. Reading to Nathan in preparation for his Dr. Seuss day at school, I came across some “Seussisms” of note. One was, “Unslumping yourself is not easily done.”
I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly it’s true
That bang-ups and hang-ups
Can happen to you.

And when you’re in a slump,
You’re not in much fun,
Un-slumping yourself
Is not easily done. (Oh the Places You Go)

I can’t begin to imagine how someone could "unslump" themselves without the Lord and in my case, friends and family, who are ministering angels of His, as well.

Reading several Seuss books with Nathan was almost nostalgic because many of those books still had the bookplates with his daddy’s name in them. One well worn copy, I could pretty much quote from memory. For sure, the passing on of reading aloud from one generation to another is a tradition that I hope continues----b/c I can relate to that.
TV on the other hand has changed so much and there are so many choices and characters blip across the screen so fast that I can’t keep up---the Texans are past Barney and Bob the Builder so I’m really out of touch. Plus, it doesn’t seem to have the same intimacy that comes with sharing a good book. Factor in the Wii and all quietness is lost.

I’m so old that the entertainment I recall was Sunday nights sitting with my family staring at the mesh fabric behind the scrollwork on the large upright radio, a Philco, I think, and getting “scared” together as we listened to “The Shadow.” (No blips, no icons, just words and a few contrived sound effects) When we did have a TV it was black and white and Howdy Dowdy was the show I remember watching with my brothers. But my favorite was “Winky Dink.” For 50 cents I had ordered a plastic sheet to put on the screen to allow for “interaction.” Winky Dink could count on me to draw the bridge or ladder he needed to get out of his jam. (colored crayons had been part of the"deal.") Nowadays, even Caleb, my 3 yr. old Texan, can interact driving a Mario Cart or bowling on the TV screen.

Even with my own children there wasn’t much TV and the one they liked was good ole Mr. Rogers. Remember him? Blue sneakers, cardigan sweater and a blinking yellow light as the show opens. He left all the trappings of formality on a peg/hanger or under a bench and settled in to take time to “nourish” relationships with those in his neighborhood. Wonder if the yellow light was symbolic of our need to slow down and take time---sort of like having a cup of tea with a friend or family

That’s what I’ve done this week and what I plan to do next week with family---spend some quiet time with the Lord first to ward off undue slumping and then have "ordinary" time with them to laugh, cry, pray and dance---just be LILES, unslumped.

Puddles, Puddles, Puddles

3/04 addendum
Puddles when I read cards and messages, puddles when I saw Mama G’s e-mail, puddles when I read Diane’s sweet, heartfelt letter, puddles when I read Michele’s mutual desire to go to Serendipity 3 in NYC and suggested that maybe someday we could meet there…

then, big PUDDLES (so big, I almost “piddled” as Mama Davenport used to say) ----when seeing the line of people at the end of my street with balloons and posters and smiles and realizing they were my friends (puddles just typing it) It was a virtual chorus line coming to “see me off” with a row of posters that read, “Keep on D A N C I N G, Dotsy---We love you, Lakeland loves Dotsy, etc. What a surprise---what a puddle of warm tears that kept flowing with joy.

Puddles when my Molly surprised me at the airport with goodbye hugs and puddles in Dallas when my Buddy was waiting in the baggage area with welcome hugs.

God is so good! I am so blessed-------more puddles.

The Final Dance

3/4/09 The Final Dance with MAC
My dance card is full---my loving Lord of the Dance is allowing a team to “cut in” (literally) and waltz me through this dance routine that has included MAC. Hopefully it’s the end of MAC’s appearance at my life’s dance.

Reader, have you realized the scriptural truths that have been evident in my dance?

Psalm 37:23-24 sums it up well. The steps (those dance steps of mine) of a man (Dotsy) are established by the Lord; (God has been “in the know” since I was fearfully & wonderfully made) and he (Dotsy) delights in his way. (Though bittersweet, this dance has been a delight to my soul & though the lessons have been hard at times, I am grateful for all the Lord has so gently taught me.) When he (Dotsy) falls (or trips on her own two feet) he (Dotsy) shall not be hurled headlong; (I can testify that sometimes He has held me so close I have felt His own heart---& maybe even His tears, so I know He’s not going to let go) because the Lord is the One who holds his (Dotsy’s) hand!!! God’s BIG hand (strength) holding my little (frail) hand---it’s the juxtaposition of my frailty and His strength--------you gotta love it---I do!!

Whether this final dance is just for this MAC season or if it becomes my final dance this side of heaven, just know that for me it is a “win-win” situation---for as Paul said, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)

So-----Howdy, Texas Pahdnuhs, I’m headin’ to Dallas and I coming with a caravan!!

Tea and Comfort

3/3/09 Teatime
Afternoon tea with friends----there’s nothing quite like it. I have been served by waiters in black vests at a “Victorian tea” at the Empress in Victoria, BC, had tea at Tea and Sympathy in Greenwich Village (served with bangers and mash), attended a bridal tea for Day at Serendipity in Bartlett though the Serendipity 3 in NYC is still on my bucket list----I’ll take my pot of English Teatime with a $22 outrageous banana split. Larry wants the frozen hot chocolate. I have had a “spot of tea” at the Greenbrier, high tea at Crown City Tea Parlor just around the corner from Hotel Del where I had morning tea, and “knock the chill off” tea at both The Beehive in Salt Lake City and le lapin boulè in Quebec with my amigas. Every summer when I travel with my T-Cup friends we always schedule a special tea whether we’re in AR, KY, GA, LA, MO, MS or TN. I have even celebrated a friend's 50th with tea at the Ritz in London, seated beside the famous nymph fountain in the spectacular Palm Court. Pots of tea and crustless finger sandwiches were served on blue and white china followed by scones and clotted cream (which I could eat my weight in) and those scrumptious pastries………….oh my!
I have had morning tea by candlelight at the Empress of Little Rock and this morning I had tea on the window seat between the bookcases that house my travel books, autographed books and my computer. I didn’t have it in a Wedgewood tea cup, though I could have done that. I chose my own blue and white tea cup, special to me because of the memory of running through the rain in Cambridge to a tea shoppe where I purchased said cup after having a steaming cuppa with Larry and dear friends. I didn’t have this morning’s repast with a scone, though I could have----I had it with a piece of delicious pound cake, made by the hands of a loving friend----if clotted cream had been available, I would have slathered it in that. There was no waiter, no ceremony, no server dressed in morning coat (cutaway in American English) or frilly apron----just a kind hubby who had my cuppa sitting on the kitchen counter ready for me to take upstairs to my “nest.”
Though, as you can tell from all the aforementioned ramblings, I find it pure joy to share a cup of tea with those whom I love the most. I also find great comfort in tea times with friends---there’s a great intimacy and acceptance that comes with sharing a “cuppa.” That’s why this morning I’m sharing it with my best friend----just me with Him in quietness.

Isaiah 30: 15 In quietness and trust is your strength.
I cherish the time I have had these past few weeks in fellowship with the Lord---and it’s usually with a cup of tea in hand. As I look to Him, joyfully expectant of His presence, Jesus meets me there---even if it’s on a book strewn window seat. My prayer is that these peaceful moments of listening to Him will spill over into the lives of those whose paths I cross---whether on Longreen, in cyberspace, or “soon to be” in Dallas---our world desperately needs His love.

23rd Psalm--final visit

3/2/09 Psalm 23:5-6

More from verse four---
Darkness continues to give me pause for thought/reflection---and here’s what I know:
• Scripture is light---it sheds His light on truth thus giving understanding. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things from Thy law. (Word) Psalm 119:18
• God’s truth can set me free from the darkness brought by worry and fear.
• I can trust God in the darkness---He will lead me.
• The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom (or what) shall I fear? Psalm 27, which I love (Claudia has permitted me to love it b/c it’s her psalm)

Someone asked me, How do you “spout off” this scripture---I don’t know---verses learned as a child do come back---yet, as an adult, trying to memorize scripture has been very difficult for me. But God…..during this time, has allowed those words that are written in His Word, that I have been privileged to study, to come to mind whenever I need His guiDANCE. I know it doesn’t make sense for someone with such a pitiful memory to recall anything, but it’s been happening. It’s as if the essence of His word is residing deep in my heart “for such a time as this”----can’t explain it anymore than that.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Verse 5—God as a provider—providing hospitality for His people—not by taking them away from "enemies" in order to lavish them with a banquet---but by giving His presence in the midst of harm or those who harm.
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Annointing with oil in scripture is an example of God bestowing His Holy Spirit on the believer and David’s cup symbolized his lot/portion in life and how he was overflowing with God’s blessing. (Constable)
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: A four-year old at my son’s church recited the 23rd Psalm which her dad posted on GodTube. It is precious. It also spoke volumes to me when she kept trying to add “surely” before many of the verses---that’s the way I see it now—surely He restores my soul, surely He is with me and surely His goodness and mercy will pursue me---It’s a sure thing.
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
This might indicate heaven but my marginalia indicates a present happening---like Psalm 27:4 ….that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life----building a relationship of oneness, experiencing His presence. (Dotsy THOT)

I’ve found out a few things about sheep this week----they need a shepherd---and so do I. Do you?

R + S = C

3/1/09 23rd Psalm Revisited
Journal jottings: Steeped my tea, while looking at my backyard steeped in snow, opening my Bible to again "steep" in God's word from Psalm 23....while contemplating whether to have homemade sourdough bread from one of my dancers or homemade banana bread from a MS friend.
Wouldn’t we feel blessed if those were the hardest choices we had to make in life? But I, my friends, can tell you that God’s children are blessed, even in the places of deep difficulty---“independent of all circumstances.” (Jesus Calling)

Streams in Desert 3/1 says, “Your situation is filled with uncertainty and is very serious, but it is perfectly right…..for it is a platform from which God will display His almighty grace and power. He will not only deliver you….(He) will impart a lesson that you will never forget.”-----which brings me back to my "steeping" of Psalm 23.

Verse 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

As a teenager I spent many days traipsing back and forth between my house on Virginia Street and the Fairleigh’s house on Alumini Avenue. The quickest, and in those days, safe, path was the alley. Winslow and I knew it by heart b/c most days found us together at one house or the other. But at night it was pitch black and though we pretty much knew the way like the back of our hand, we much preferred to travel it together. Some nights we would leave from my back porch, cross the yard cut through behind the garage, where our baby blue Valiant was housed, just past the vacated house of John Tom, Clara Lee and Hattie May, on the old Albritton place, and scoot down the alley to Alumni where there was a street light ---though dim by today’s standards. Then we’d race to her 1962 turquoise Corvair (w/ tab shift, trunk in the front & motor in the back) and she’d drive me around the corner to my front door---Virginia Street was well lit. You see, light dispels darkness.

Death, even the “shadow of death,” and fear can be synonymous with darkness. And darkness can be overwhelming without “protection.” Winslow and I had each other---silly as that sounds---and that made all the difference. Today, the Lord understood that my MAC fear, not only of the endurance of pain, but the fear of the unknown, would begin to creep in as I neared the time of the Dallas departure----so, He’s had me in this psalm for three days now. He also had “no-fear” verses written on my Dotsy quilt and a "fear" entry today in Edges of His Ways.

The verse doesn’t stop with, I will fear no evil---that would make fearlessness possible by my own “human” effort & trust me, it’s not possible for me to conjure it up. The next phrase, "for Thou art with me,” tells us why we don’t have to fear---the Lord God, our shepherd is with us.
And He comes prepared, just as the hillside shepherds of old. He’s equipped with a rod and a staff.
Insights from Meeting God in Quiet Places---more like my loose paraphrasing:

Rod—protection from enemies---gives feeling of assurance---but if God offered protection without the care and concern of friendship (staff) it would be stern & cold

Staff –for peaceful walking and guiding---friendship, like an old walking stick but if it didn’t go hand in hand with strength and protection (rod) it would be soppy, sentimental, and without power.

The result of the two together is comfort. (Thy) Rod and (Thy) Staff = (my) Comfort(R+S = C)