LOVE SONGS

Love songs----an entire night of love songs, what a gift!! (Will unwrap this gift later.)

Actually this treat began as a wrapped gift under the tree. Opening the gift was just the beginning, albeit a good one.

Hubby gave me "flex" tickets to the Memphis Symphony "Pops" concerts. Last night we used them for Love me Tender: The Great Elvis™Love Songs.

A real date night* which began with dinner at eighty3 (in Madison Hotel)

including my fave dessert, crème brûlée---with fresh whipped cream, no less......

.....and continued with good seats, (orchestra section on the aisle) and a great Elvis program which the symphony and Terry Mike Jeffery showcased skillfully. Elvis songs that most "seniors" in attendance remembered well---thus a smiling audience. The overture included hymns "How Great Thou Art" and "Battle Hymn of the Republic." The final encore song was one of my favorites, "Can't Help Falling in Love."

Elvis may have left the building but his music remains and we enjoyed every lingering bit of it-----in fact, I'm still smiling as I type up this "gift" of love, songs included for free!

*This date night was a great diversion as it became my focus. Most years (since 2009) on this date, I have focused on how many years it has been since the first time I heard the word biopsy, as it related to me----with the diagnosis, additional biopsies and ensuing treatments, surgeries etc. I still remember that day and the dread that the word "cancer" brought to my heart---long before experiencing the blessing it would truly become.

"stabili-TEA"

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: (Job 13:15, KJV)

That verse was given in today's (4/1) Streams in the Desert entry. Beside it I had written, "Prayed this as I walked in for the first of many surgeries"--- for my MAC cancer. Baylor Hospital, Dallas (3/16/09)
It's hard to believe that it has been 5 years since the beginning of all those surgeries---even as I reread some of my first pre-surgery entries, I saw that I fully trusted the Lord as my anchor, regardless of the outcome. Why does it seem easier somehow to trust Him in the big things than all those "little daily storms" that come our way?

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews, 6:19, NIV)

One must anchor themselves on to the Lord when in a hard place. Just as an anchor adds stability to a boat or ship, the Lord as our anchor holds us---"come what may---whether wind, waves, rough seas.."
One's confidence in His faithfulness is the true anchor. 

When Darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil
My anchor holds within the veil ("Cornerstone"Lyrics)

"Stabili-TEA" is a cuppa available to all believers. Hold fast to that firm, secure cuppa.

by permission of T. Parlow as this scriptural art graces the entry to his condo. Terry, who is blind and paralyzed from the chest down, lost Claudia  (his wife, high school sweetheart and caregiver)  4 months ago, after her two + yr. battle with cancer. He has known the Lord as the only anchor for his soul, through all these storms. My Bible marginalia quote (source unknown) Fellowship = "Jesus is the fellow in your ship." When one's life boat hits strong winds, and capsizingly high waves & swells, he/she is desperate for an anchor that holds. 

SABBATH SNAPSHOTS: Michèle!!!!!!!!!!

6/23/13 Michèle!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S 10 EXCITEMENTS! (Owen's perfect definition of exclamation points.)
Michèle Phoenix, with whom I share not only the 1 John 1:3 type of believer's fellowship but also the 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 fellowship which is shared by sisters in the faith on the same side of the struggle. Her MAC cancer journey began a year ahead of mine. She lived in Germany at the time, but God....brought us together using daughter Molly's relentless searching on the internet. Michèle even involved her choral students from Black Forest Academy----who "sang" from afar, songs of encouragement to me. We have sent met stateside 4 times and now that her ministry to MKs (missionary kids) has her living in Wheaton, IL I hope He blesses us with lots more meetings.

"Scar to Scar" celebration at Charlie Gitto's "on the hill" in St. Louis with Michèle Phoenix and her mom.

This weekend we met in St. Louis to encourage her as her book "Tangled Ashes," a great novel with a little mystery intertwined, is in the top three finalist for the ICRS (International Christian Retailers Show) "Christy" award. Being a finalist is BIG and I hope she wins----but regardless,  Michèle is the WINNER in my book as she has continued to live out 2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 for me.

St. Louis pix for Michèle & Sally.

REAR VIEW REFLECTIONS

1/16/11 What’s in your “rear view” reflections of life? Pain? Disappointment? Fear? For those of us with cancer in our rear view mirror, we have to be careful. 
Just like in driving, we have to use our rear view mirror as a quick indicator of the next right thing. We don’t keep looking in the rear view mirror as we thrust forward. The results could be disastrous, even life threatening. For me this last week, it’s been a real temptation to do more than glance at my past---my cancer past. Maybe it’s because it’s been two years ago this month that my MAC Journey began.

Yet, though I know for preventative reasons, I need to continually be aware, I also know that it’s unhealthy to “dwell” on those thoughts. We can’t live a healthy life living in the past. Nor can we enjoy the present and future if our view is skewed by our rear view. Thoughts of cancer reoccurrences can really skew ones view.

Yesterday’s Jesus Calling reminded me that it’s all about focus. “If you gaze too long at the myriad of problems around you (past or present, Dotsy) you will sink under the weight…..”

A quote in my Bible attributed to Fran says, “Gaze on Jesus; glance at all else.” That is worthy of reflection.

Fireworks Revisited

7/11/10 Last night grandson, Owen, “called” us from the Redbirds game to tell us that he was seeing BIG fireworks and that people kept saying ooh and ahh. I was a little surprised that the noise didn’t scare him but he was saying, “Look.” (We actually could see a little--thanks to the cell phone pic that arrived.) Then we heard Owen oohing and ahhing.
Tonight he called from his B.B. and Poppy’s house because he was getting to see more fireworks---really loud ones too. What joy in his voice as his dad and granddad and Memphis neighbor, Derrick, offered fireworks just for Owen. It was obvious that they delighted in delighting him.

Last Thursday, Jesus Calling mentioned fireworks. “When your Joy in Me meets My Joy in you, there are fireworks of heavenly ecstasy.” This weekend I think the Lord was oohing and aahing as He heard us (Michèle and Dotsy) joyfully celebrating seeing each other. Our joy is a result that comes from all we have in Him---a true fellowship of two believers on the same side of a MAC struggle. Celebrating life & turned toward Him.
That’s like double ecstasy---really loud oohing and aahing coming forth. Real fireworks----that will continue throughout eternity!! Heavenly ecstasy!!

Michèle’s Morsels

7/1/10 One year ago yesterday, I met Michèle Phoenix stateside. The face-to-face / scar-to-scar meeting took place in Louisville, KY where my older brother Buddy lives. The timing, of her being there from Germany for a MI doc appointment, and me being there after a high school reunion weekend, was such a God-thing. Of course, the two of us (MAC victims) connecting at all, especially continents away, was miraculous in and of itself. Musing on all of this I as I read back through my journal, I realized that Michèle mentored me, albeit from afar, and it was her personal knowledge of the cancer and her spiritual grounding that God used to equip me to find joy in my journey.
My memorable morsels from Michèle:

• MAC (our cancer) is a gift we can embrace because it flows from God’s grace;
• Ceaselessly seek reasons to celebrate a life turned toward Him;
• Make note of kindnesses of strangers and the serendipitous occurrences that lend a ray of unexpectedness to your days;
• Acknowledge “Divine Winks;” (similar to my "glory bumps")
• Focus on God’s truths throughout your journey/dance;
• The Center of God’s will might not guarantee physical safety but it does offer utter fulfillment, purpose, comfort and peace;
• We are to each other a priceless gift from a tangible and intimately present God;
• Be a galvanizing inspirer and come to the rescue of others by using your first hand experiences to serve an eternal and invaluable purpose; (A-MEN!)
• In your “new normal” (cancer victim), continue to seek and lean on the One whose love redeems your pain;

Some of these morsels are found in her beautiful book, Postcards from the Waters Edge, which she shared with me early on in my cancer journey. It’s a book that continues to minister to me and one I can share with others who are now in the midst of their own cancer struggle.
http://michelephoenix.com/postcards-from-the-waters-edge/

One week from tomorrow in Nashville, TN where my younger brother, Bobby & his wife now have a condo (near their grands) Michèle and I will meet again. Such another God-thing!

Strawless in Dallas

11/3/09 The call came from the doctor’s office late yesterday afternoon---food allowed albeit with restrictions. Soft foods are best. Eat others with caution and care because remaining mouth stitches have not dissolved. Continue to swish and spit with antibacterial rinse but bottom teeth may be carefully brushed with my tiny “Elmo” toothbrush and “sensitive” gel. All of this was good news and Mary Flo prepared some luscious Yukon gold mashed potatoes, “Neiman Marcus style,” in celebration. Delish!

Today we have to go to pick up a prescription “redo” in Allen, TX where Buddy and Day live so we plan to take them to lunch. Larry and I have become consumed with all the available options! We have planned to treat loved ones to lunch---God is directing our steps. A great idea came---simply lunch, with a simple Memphis connection.

Recently, my friend Katherine and I went to the movie, “Julie and Julia.” There were some life lessons in that movie as a young Julie sought to cook her way through Julia Child’s, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, (524 recipes) in one year and to “blog” about her culinary adventure. Her first attempt, “Potage Parmentier,” had been described by Julia as “simplicity itself to make.” Simplicity! Isn’t that what we all crave? Don’t we all need to pare down---not just in cooking and eating, but in life? What is essential?

Sometimes less is better. Too many options can weigh us down. I can wear myself out trying to decide what is best. Simplicity of “straw dining” has had its benefits. Potato-leek soup from Short Stop in Snider Plaza was one—it must have been made the Julia Child way with heavy cream. It went easily through my straw, tasted yummy and filled my tummy. Nothing else was needed.

Paring down keeps life simpler and that can be a good thing. Sometimes there’s way too much on my plate. Today I desire only God’s requisite essentials for my life.

“He has told you, O man, what is good.: and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)

Essentials. Simply put. All I need for today!

The Final Dance

3/4/09 The Final Dance with MAC
My dance card is full---my loving Lord of the Dance is allowing a team to “cut in” (literally) and waltz me through this dance routine that has included MAC. Hopefully it’s the end of MAC’s appearance at my life’s dance.

Reader, have you realized the scriptural truths that have been evident in my dance?

Psalm 37:23-24 sums it up well. The steps (those dance steps of mine) of a man (Dotsy) are established by the Lord; (God has been “in the know” since I was fearfully & wonderfully made) and he (Dotsy) delights in his way. (Though bittersweet, this dance has been a delight to my soul & though the lessons have been hard at times, I am grateful for all the Lord has so gently taught me.) When he (Dotsy) falls (or trips on her own two feet) he (Dotsy) shall not be hurled headlong; (I can testify that sometimes He has held me so close I have felt His own heart---& maybe even His tears, so I know He’s not going to let go) because the Lord is the One who holds his (Dotsy’s) hand!!! God’s BIG hand (strength) holding my little (frail) hand---it’s the juxtaposition of my frailty and His strength--------you gotta love it---I do!!

Whether this final dance is just for this MAC season or if it becomes my final dance this side of heaven, just know that for me it is a “win-win” situation---for as Paul said, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)

So-----Howdy, Texas Pahdnuhs, I’m headin’ to Dallas and I coming with a caravan!!

God's Strength

2/2/09
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

This is a good verse for meditation on a morning when you don’t even want to get out of bed. I prefer the mornings when I’m able to say, “Good morning, Lord. I think I’ll have a piece of homemade chocolate meringue pie for breakfast.”

I was able to sit with Mommar, Larry’s mom, and watch birds and squirrels out the window even though thoughts of lawyers, docs, reports to fax, calls to make etc. etc. etc. were whirring around in my head. Those who are “on the same page” with me in the Jesus Calling book know the focus of today’s entry was free flowing thoughts seem to move toward problems------if focus is snagged on your problem, it circles round and round (boy, did it ever)----Your energy is drained!! It was already drained from three days of the “tyranny of the urgent”—you know those things that demand your attention & so you tend to them.

As an aside, if you are on the same page in the Jesus Calling book would you let me know---I’ve heard from several folks thru comments or LHH message/well wishes page or cards & calls. Just e-mail me at dotsyliles@gmail.com. Just wondering how far this little book is reaching.

This Monday was in my mind to become the day to share a little about MAC with folks b/c some have asked---maybe I wasn’t ready for that. I do know that sometimes people look at me as if I’m “in denial”---I’m really in a grace bubble. Trust me, I know a lot about MAC & enough of the journey ahead to warrant my attention and an understanding of things that I choose not to share b/c you readers are not covered with that extra measure of mercy and grace that is mine for the taking/accepting in the midst of this crisis.

Today became “Journal Jottings: a Juxtaposition of my Frailty and God’s Strength.” I needed His power and strength today in extra measure!! 

Thanks to anyone who prayed early---maybe it was your prayer that helped get me out of the bed and in a mode to ask Him myself---to strengthen me by the power of His might….for patience and endurance during this time.”

Journal Jottings

2/1/09
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.

Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.

I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.

For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.

Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)

Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.

Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.

Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."

These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.

Weeping Wednesday (Don't stop here---read further)*

1/28/09

These tags of alliteration for the days of the week have been a part of my life for a long time—reminders that help me focus. So, though today is a day for weeping, it's not for crying physically as I have done on some days in this journey, but…..it's my day of asking God to "create in me a clean heart, O Lord and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10) To do that He has to show me my sin---not a pretty picture---but necessary, especially for one whose SELF can rear it's ugly head. Actually, my subtle sin is self-protection. (Inside Out by Larry Crabb p.100---almost erased this citation to put in an APA or MLA format---old habits die hard for librarians) Self protection is pain avoidance esp. at a deep level---one often builds walls in relationships to have that protection. Sometime it's pride—not willing to let people see all the warts---and now God is allowing me to practice showing my humanity, warts and all. BTW, I read today that there are over 2.5 million blogs but *only 4% of people read writings of others.......... basically bloggers are having conversations with themselves--- it has been therapeutic.

Just reread parts of Ortberg's When the Game is Over it all Goes Back in the Box.

 (can't you see yourself clearing the Scrabble board and dumping all those wooden tiles into the little faux velvet bag?? ---a great read) I was reminded of so many truths---

The board you & I play on is in the shape of a calendar---live one square at a time.

In Ethiopia, a man's wealth is measured by his friends---In said measurement, I am indeed WEALTHY!

Arrange your life around what matters most to God----People matter.

On a lighter note, I have also learned, that there is no such thing as too many post-it/stickie notes. My dear ljj used to say I needed a Velcro bra----hm-m-m, maybe she's right---she usually is.

Family matters: As I wait, we are also awaiting by-pass surgery for Larry's dad & trying to aid his mother who spent the night here b/c they live in Oakland & she doesn't need to be alone. I was able to read Jesus Calling aloud to her as we sat at the breakfast table eating and watching Larry's (Pop-Pop's) birds feasting outside the window. How special is that?

My brothers and their wives from KY are coming Friday to bring Daddy so I can see them all before the Big MAC event. He won't spend the night but I'm grateful for their sacrifice---that's a lot of driving in one day.