1/30/10 …..volumes of “V” words whirring in my mind with none anchoring yet. Virgin’s son. (Luke 1:27) Vine---John 15, my life-changing chapter. Victor----the victory is His. He is the victorious one. Through Him we have victory---we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37) Conquerors are indeed victors. As I discovered in both Hungary and Mexico and especially through this last year He is also a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1) He is TRUTH----veracity starts with “V” but I couldn’t find it in my concordance.
But God……………there was the “v” word right in my good old KJV, my grandmother’s Bible, with its broken binding, loose pages and cracked leather cover. “Verity”---in the concordance---not veracity but another great synonym for truth.
In our life’s journey we are all mere voyagers on this earth and it is the verity of the One who is Truth that guides us. Knowing His truth has set us free (Romans 8:2) As believers, we’re at least on the ship that’s headed in the right direction----eternity with Him. If we weren’t voyagers on His ship, we would be facing life without Him. I’m glad that even in the midst of life’s storms, we don’t have to be tossed around by every wave of circumstance or wind of doctrine (Ephesians 4:14-15) because we are stabilized by truth and anchored by the One who is Truth.
We need to listen up ------His verity speaks volumes.
Psalm 111:7--These works of His hands are verity and judgment; all His commandments are sure.
I Timothy 2:7--Whereunto I am ordained and a preacher, and an apostle, ( I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
SNOW DAY---MUSIC to ears of school kids & a few teachers
1/29/10 Lying in bed on this "snow day," (of sorts) I didn't see one single flake or hear any pelting of sleet but Channel 5 news announced it at 5 am. Even though Shelby County Schools was not included on the scrolling at the bottom of the screen, I took them at their word and went back to bed and snuggled down.
Too tired (or just plain lazy) to get up and too awake to sleep, I began to pray for my Friday folks and Clarence, Sally P., Keith, Gail, Gurner, Kim and others with “hospital” needs as they came to mind. Since I didn’t want to leave the warmth of my pile of covers and go to my prayer chair, I began to attempt to pray without request list or scripture---what a rambling attempt that was. (Can A.D.D. be a prayer diagnosis?)
My prayers were certainly not of the “foxhole” variety. I had no focus and no sense of urgency. After all, it was a “snow day” so I had all day to pray. Yet, in reality, I knew that once my feet hit the cold floor, I would be into my “to do” mode. “Be still and know that I am God” came to mind.
To “be” ---if you ever want to be confused look up that definition in the dictionary. (I didn’t need thoughts like transitive or intransitive or subjunctive or indicative mood floating in my mind.) I needed Him. “To be or not to be--that is the question” or so says Prince Hamlet in the Shakespearean play. But…..to pray or not to pray is not the question. Certainly not. One can’t ever question that! Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
So…I allowed my intransitive be to become transitive as I quit just being and began to be in prayer with Him as my object/focus.* I began my bumbling attempts at prayer. So bumbling, in fact, that in the midst of praising the Lord for His attributes, my mind would flit to options for my morning oatmeal----cranberries...walnuts or both. But....I kept at it. Have you ever heard the old adage, “Pray ‘til you feel like praying”?
Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. (Psalm 4:4) I didn’t exactly stand in the vertical sense but I did “stand” in my mind as God took over----and that’s awesome!
At 6am the phone rang. I got up. It was Shelby County Schools informing me that schools were closed. How timely. I open the library a 6 am each day----glad I listened to news at 5. But God now had me on my feet so I went forth with a prayer in my heart---that today I would be all that He would have me to be.
*Apologies to my English teaching friends if this grammar lesson is all mixed up---just hope you get the point.
Too tired (or just plain lazy) to get up and too awake to sleep, I began to pray for my Friday folks and Clarence, Sally P., Keith, Gail, Gurner, Kim and others with “hospital” needs as they came to mind. Since I didn’t want to leave the warmth of my pile of covers and go to my prayer chair, I began to attempt to pray without request list or scripture---what a rambling attempt that was. (Can A.D.D. be a prayer diagnosis?)
My prayers were certainly not of the “foxhole” variety. I had no focus and no sense of urgency. After all, it was a “snow day” so I had all day to pray. Yet, in reality, I knew that once my feet hit the cold floor, I would be into my “to do” mode. “Be still and know that I am God” came to mind.
To “be” ---if you ever want to be confused look up that definition in the dictionary. (I didn’t need thoughts like transitive or intransitive or subjunctive or indicative mood floating in my mind.) I needed Him. “To be or not to be--that is the question” or so says Prince Hamlet in the Shakespearean play. But…..to pray or not to pray is not the question. Certainly not. One can’t ever question that! Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
So…I allowed my intransitive be to become transitive as I quit just being and began to be in prayer with Him as my object/focus.* I began my bumbling attempts at prayer. So bumbling, in fact, that in the midst of praising the Lord for His attributes, my mind would flit to options for my morning oatmeal----cranberries...walnuts or both. But....I kept at it. Have you ever heard the old adage, “Pray ‘til you feel like praying”?
Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. (Psalm 4:4) I didn’t exactly stand in the vertical sense but I did “stand” in my mind as God took over----and that’s awesome!
At 6am the phone rang. I got up. It was Shelby County Schools informing me that schools were closed. How timely. I open the library a 6 am each day----glad I listened to news at 5. But God now had me on my feet so I went forth with a prayer in my heart---that today I would be all that He would have me to be.
*Apologies to my English teaching friends if this grammar lesson is all mixed up---just hope you get the point.
Monday, January 25, 2010
U = Understanding
1/25/10 Monday, as you know, is for meditation but did you know that meditation is the “Sunday of the Mind.” (my NAS Bible marginalia) Growing up in the 50s in Hoptown, blue law was in effect on Sundays, though I didn’t know it had a name. It’s just the way it was. And....we all accepted it. We all knew that Sundays meant that no stores were open. No protests evolved. We knew Sundays were set aside for spiritual stuff and rest.(afternoon naps at their best) It also meant roast beef for lunch because it could be slowly cooking while we were at church.
This “Monday’s Message” needs a “Sunday Mind.” So put aside other distractions and “put on your spiritual best” and approach God’s word with a rested mind ready to worship and feast on each morsel of truth.
Just yesterday I wrote about my “Sunday Mind”---a mind of stillness and acceptance. A “Sunday Mind” can lead to understanding. A few weeks ago we meditated on Psalm 46:10---a verse that urges us to be and to know---not to do or to act. Today I want us to be still and ask the One who Understands to give understanding to us. God Calling’s 1/7 entry suggests, “Try and grasp this.” “Dwell in thought on this---more and more saints have taken a lifetime to understand it.”
To me, that means put your “Sunday Mind” to it.
It’s just meditation. Meditation brings understanding---understanding of the One who came in human form (Philippians 2: 7), the One who understands our imperfections.
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)
Let me know what the Understanding One teaches you about this verse.
This “Monday’s Message” needs a “Sunday Mind.” So put aside other distractions and “put on your spiritual best” and approach God’s word with a rested mind ready to worship and feast on each morsel of truth.
Just yesterday I wrote about my “Sunday Mind”---a mind of stillness and acceptance. A “Sunday Mind” can lead to understanding. A few weeks ago we meditated on Psalm 46:10---a verse that urges us to be and to know---not to do or to act. Today I want us to be still and ask the One who Understands to give understanding to us. God Calling’s 1/7 entry suggests, “Try and grasp this.” “Dwell in thought on this---more and more saints have taken a lifetime to understand it.”
To me, that means put your “Sunday Mind” to it.
It’s just meditation. Meditation brings understanding---understanding of the One who came in human form (Philippians 2: 7), the One who understands our imperfections.
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5:48)
Let me know what the Understanding One teaches you about this verse.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sunday Summary
1/24/10 WARNING----You might not want to read this. It might wear you out. But…..if you decide to read it, please continue to its conclusion because there is always hope at the end of this turbulent tunnel called life.
A “War of Words” has been going on in my mind these first three weeks of 2010. Warring is difficult----battles wear me out. But…..they are necessary otherwise the wrong thoughts will take over. Those thoughts of fear and uncertainty can become the focus and that wrong focus can wear one out! "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
Granted there are things that I can’t change---aging, the Haiti catastrophe, work hours, grant deadlines, family illnesses and choices of others. Possibly my reactions and responses to these givens need something, but what? Turning off the nightly news might temporarily relieve me of the claustrophobic thoughts/fears of being buried alive and weeping for those who have had to endure that. I try to push down that fear with scripture knowing that He has not given us a “spirit of fear” but of power….so where’s my power-----what can I do to help the Haitians. God has given me valid ways. Now, how do I help others see God’s goodness in the midst of this?
Haitians have needs, family has needs, friends have needs. I have needs---coherent thoughts and an ability to articulate words that seem to “trip” coming out of my new mouth. I need more time for praise and prayer for folks with appropriate scripture verses and a computer that doesn’t frustrate me. I need to remember to remind my husband of how grateful I am for his support (dishwashing hands) and the down time he allows me, especially on weekends.
I’m overwhelmed. I need a nap! Actually, I really need exercise but the bed draws me more often than the walk, the weights or the swimming pool. I need a “mind” so that I don’t forget my keys or glasses as I rush out the door at 5:30am.
Doc visit last week reminded me that my own “forgetfulness” is probably exacerbated by aging (can’t change that), effects of anesthesia and surgery (can’t change that either) as well as stress and fatigue (3:15 am wakeups don’t help). Uh –hello, that list is not exactly an ah-ha moment, so what do I do about it. Doc rec was a good vitamin----which I forget to take ½ the time and cutting back. Where do you cut? I need more time and energy to minister to others. I’m too tired to even talk on the phone most nights. The One who is necessary, is NOT where I need to cut back but I am having to make creative adjustments and they don’t look very spiritual. I need to quit worrying about what the world sees (as if my testimony is of utmost importance) and only care about what God wants. His Goodness can get along without me. (Oh my---now there’s a thought that shouldn’t come as a shock.) God doesn’t need any of us but He delights in all of us. (Zephaniah 3:17)
Oh, He has given me glimpses of His grace all month---Michèle’s call, card & needle work reminders from HHS chum, pimento cheese, an encouraging blog comment, caring wise brothers, celebrations in Texas, Berlin UMC ‘s “Lord of the Dance” and timely e-mails. God’s way is glimpses of grace. I just happen to want gobs of grace and I want it yesterday. I want time. I want energy. I want it all and yet I can’t keep all those plates spinning. Sounds like too much of me and so little of Thee. How sad!
Once again I return to the juxtaposition of my human frailty and God’s strength. At this crossroad, I need to choose His power and give Him my limitations.
God Calling 1/23 entry “It (God’s power) is breathed in by the soul who lives in My Presence.”
The Zephaniah verse also says “The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior” (In Him, the war is already won.) and Romans 8:37 reminds me “…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6)
So welcome to my "Sunday mind"----not one of warring but one of acceptance. Now I can leave the war room and go to the ballroom where I can dance. I want to dance!
A “War of Words” has been going on in my mind these first three weeks of 2010. Warring is difficult----battles wear me out. But…..they are necessary otherwise the wrong thoughts will take over. Those thoughts of fear and uncertainty can become the focus and that wrong focus can wear one out! "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
Granted there are things that I can’t change---aging, the Haiti catastrophe, work hours, grant deadlines, family illnesses and choices of others. Possibly my reactions and responses to these givens need something, but what? Turning off the nightly news might temporarily relieve me of the claustrophobic thoughts/fears of being buried alive and weeping for those who have had to endure that. I try to push down that fear with scripture knowing that He has not given us a “spirit of fear” but of power….so where’s my power-----what can I do to help the Haitians. God has given me valid ways. Now, how do I help others see God’s goodness in the midst of this?
Haitians have needs, family has needs, friends have needs. I have needs---coherent thoughts and an ability to articulate words that seem to “trip” coming out of my new mouth. I need more time for praise and prayer for folks with appropriate scripture verses and a computer that doesn’t frustrate me. I need to remember to remind my husband of how grateful I am for his support (dishwashing hands) and the down time he allows me, especially on weekends.
I’m overwhelmed. I need a nap! Actually, I really need exercise but the bed draws me more often than the walk, the weights or the swimming pool. I need a “mind” so that I don’t forget my keys or glasses as I rush out the door at 5:30am.
Doc visit last week reminded me that my own “forgetfulness” is probably exacerbated by aging (can’t change that), effects of anesthesia and surgery (can’t change that either) as well as stress and fatigue (3:15 am wakeups don’t help). Uh –hello, that list is not exactly an ah-ha moment, so what do I do about it. Doc rec was a good vitamin----which I forget to take ½ the time and cutting back. Where do you cut? I need more time and energy to minister to others. I’m too tired to even talk on the phone most nights. The One who is necessary, is NOT where I need to cut back but I am having to make creative adjustments and they don’t look very spiritual. I need to quit worrying about what the world sees (as if my testimony is of utmost importance) and only care about what God wants. His Goodness can get along without me. (Oh my---now there’s a thought that shouldn’t come as a shock.) God doesn’t need any of us but He delights in all of us. (Zephaniah 3:17)
Oh, He has given me glimpses of His grace all month---Michèle’s call, card & needle work reminders from HHS chum, pimento cheese, an encouraging blog comment, caring wise brothers, celebrations in Texas, Berlin UMC ‘s “Lord of the Dance” and timely e-mails. God’s way is glimpses of grace. I just happen to want gobs of grace and I want it yesterday. I want time. I want energy. I want it all and yet I can’t keep all those plates spinning. Sounds like too much of me and so little of Thee. How sad!
Once again I return to the juxtaposition of my human frailty and God’s strength. At this crossroad, I need to choose His power and give Him my limitations.
God Calling 1/23 entry “It (God’s power) is breathed in by the soul who lives in My Presence.”
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy Presence
Living in me
This is the air I breathe
Your holy Presence
Living in me
(Mercy Me, 2002)
For 3 weeks “Word and Prayer” have been my bookends. Even though limited, this time is vital. It’s just not what it was when I was in Dallas----I’m not in Dallas anymore and God has really had to protect my back side as I have returned to work with less mind, less strength and new demands. He has given me grace for one step at a time. Grace for today. I know that’s true. I lived it for an entire year. That’s what I need to remember.The Zephaniah verse also says “The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior” (In Him, the war is already won.) and Romans 8:37 reminds me “…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. (Zechariah 4:6)
So welcome to my "Sunday mind"----not one of warring but one of acceptance. Now I can leave the war room and go to the ballroom where I can dance. I want to dance!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
U is for Understanding
1/20/09 Please grant understanding to me----my computer is at The Apple Store. I'll be back when it is back.
Monday, January 18, 2010
T= TABERNACLE
1/18/10 So many “T”-Words remind me of the Lord:
Trustworthy, the One in whom I can put my trust.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
True, the standard for truth is this One called Faithful and True.
Daily we are bombarded with words---but these words neither satisfy nor nourish because many of them are delivered by those who speak self-serving lies.
We should listen to the One who is Truth and cannot lie.
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6)
Tent/Tower of Strength,
3For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. 4Let me dwell in Your tent forever; (Psalm 61:3-4)
Tabernacle, the “T” word that resonates most with me---it’s just another word for describing Christ as the dwelling place of God—sounds like a synonym for sanctuary to me. The biblical definition for both of those words “rings” loud and clear---His Presence, the place where we can meet face-to-face with Him, both now and throughout eternity.
Meditate on this "tabernacle" truth along with my Community Bible Study friends who are studying Revelation this year.
Trustworthy, the One in whom I can put my trust.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
True, the standard for truth is this One called Faithful and True.
Daily we are bombarded with words---but these words neither satisfy nor nourish because many of them are delivered by those who speak self-serving lies.
We should listen to the One who is Truth and cannot lie.
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6)
Tent/Tower of Strength,
3For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. 4Let me dwell in Your tent forever; (Psalm 61:3-4)
Tabernacle, the “T” word that resonates most with me---it’s just another word for describing Christ as the dwelling place of God—sounds like a synonym for sanctuary to me. The biblical definition for both of those words “rings” loud and clear---His Presence, the place where we can meet face-to-face with Him, both now and throughout eternity.
Meditate on this "tabernacle" truth along with my Community Bible Study friends who are studying Revelation this year.
2And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
4and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
(Revelation 21:2-5)
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,
4and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
(Revelation 21:2-5)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
SANCTUARY Revisited---"And let them make me a sanctuary; that I may dwell among them." Exodus 25:8
1/17/10
Sanctuary??---is it ….
Sanctuary….
Looking at fresh snow….the quiet equalizer that covers stately mansions or piles of junk with identical, soft, pure white blankets to transform the world. (cmf, 1/7/10 e-mail)
Don’t you just love those words? Don’t you just love the picture they convey?
Fresh snow….the quiet equalizer….covers (all) is such a picture of what Christ, our Sanctuary, did for us---He was no respecter of persons. He died for all sinners from folks like Dr. Billy Graham and Dr. Adrian Rogers (stately mansion-type souls) to folks like me with my “junk” filled heart.
For all believers---wherever we find ourselves (location) or in whatever state of mind (intellect/will) or condition of our heart (emotion)---this consecrated, holy one is the place where we can go for safety. The God who dwells within is our sanctuary. Therefore, we can sit with Him in the midst of a hostile world communing with Him, supping with Him, resting in Him and the venue matters not.
This harsh, ungodly world and the ways of the wicked overwhelmed me—“until I went into the sanctuary of God.” (Psalm 73:17)
Sanctuary??---is it ….
- A. a place i.e. a location that is visible,
- B. the status of one’s mind
- C. a condition of the heart??
Sanctuary….
Looking at fresh snow….the quiet equalizer that covers stately mansions or piles of junk with identical, soft, pure white blankets to transform the world. (cmf, 1/7/10 e-mail)
Don’t you just love those words? Don’t you just love the picture they convey?
Fresh snow….the quiet equalizer….covers (all) is such a picture of what Christ, our Sanctuary, did for us---He was no respecter of persons. He died for all sinners from folks like Dr. Billy Graham and Dr. Adrian Rogers (stately mansion-type souls) to folks like me with my “junk” filled heart.
For all believers---wherever we find ourselves (location) or in whatever state of mind (intellect/will) or condition of our heart (emotion)---this consecrated, holy one is the place where we can go for safety. The God who dwells within is our sanctuary. Therefore, we can sit with Him in the midst of a hostile world communing with Him, supping with Him, resting in Him and the venue matters not.
This harsh, ungodly world and the ways of the wicked overwhelmed me—“until I went into the sanctuary of God.” (Psalm 73:17)
Now be ye not stiffnecked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves unto the LORD, and enter into his sanctuary, which he hath sanctified for ever: and serve the LORD your God, that the fierceness of his wrath may turn away from you. (2 Chron. 30:8)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
S is for Shock Absorber
1/13/10 One year ago today, at 5:02 pm I received the shocking call from Dr. Schneider with my diagnosis. It hadn’t taken 3 days. It only took one. Needless to say I was caught off guard.
DIAGNOSIS: Microcystic Adnexal Carcinoma, a very rare cancer. I took it calmly---I couldn’t even cry. I just asked what was the next step. He admitted that he wasn’t sure but he had a doctor’s name for me and I should get a referral to see him immediately. He did know that the cancer must be removed and the surgery would require deep and major reconstruction. He then asked to speak to Larry. I think maybe he thought that I was in shock. He wanted to make sure that someone in the house was hearing him.
Snippets of Psalm 121 came to mind: My help cometh from the Lord.... He will not suffer your foot to be moved (not allow your foot to slip--NASB).... the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand (or right nostril/lip, if need be)....He shall preserve thy soul....The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
A car needs good shocks to absorb all those bumps that the rugged road can bring. Without shock absorbers, rocks, holes and other hindrances on the road can cause the driver to lose control and even WRECK. I might have been in shock that day but my Shock Absorber had already made His presence known and He wasn’t going to let me CRASH! I remember an overwhelming sense of Peace---I knew immediately that it mattered for eternity.
Nowadays, most shock absorbers are the twin tube variety---made up of an inner and outer tube that work together to achieve the intended purpose. I knew MAC had an eternal purpose and I was just going along for the “ride” ---covered both inwardly and outwardly by Him. He would absorb my fear and pain and convert them to energy for His glory as He “cushioned” me along the uneven cancerous roads that lay ahead.
DIAGNOSIS: Microcystic Adnexal Carcinoma, a very rare cancer. I took it calmly---I couldn’t even cry. I just asked what was the next step. He admitted that he wasn’t sure but he had a doctor’s name for me and I should get a referral to see him immediately. He did know that the cancer must be removed and the surgery would require deep and major reconstruction. He then asked to speak to Larry. I think maybe he thought that I was in shock. He wanted to make sure that someone in the house was hearing him.
Snippets of Psalm 121 came to mind: My help cometh from the Lord.... He will not suffer your foot to be moved (not allow your foot to slip--NASB).... the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand (or right nostril/lip, if need be)....He shall preserve thy soul....The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
A car needs good shocks to absorb all those bumps that the rugged road can bring. Without shock absorbers, rocks, holes and other hindrances on the road can cause the driver to lose control and even WRECK. I might have been in shock that day but my Shock Absorber had already made His presence known and He wasn’t going to let me CRASH! I remember an overwhelming sense of Peace---I knew immediately that it mattered for eternity.
Nowadays, most shock absorbers are the twin tube variety---made up of an inner and outer tube that work together to achieve the intended purpose. I knew MAC had an eternal purpose and I was just going along for the “ride” ---covered both inwardly and outwardly by Him. He would absorb my fear and pain and convert them to energy for His glory as He “cushioned” me along the uneven cancerous roads that lay ahead.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
S = Solace
1/12/10 One Year ago today ---BIOPSY! Just that word can send one running to seek solace. (comfort, consolation, support, relief)
I took off during lunch to “run up” to have the “punch” biopsy done. Whew, I felt like he took out a big plug. (In retrospect, I know that to be a good thing since many a MAC diagnosis has been missed because the doc didn’t get a good specimen.) Afterwards, I was too light-headed and nauseous to even lift my head. Walking, with my weak knees, proved to be beyond me as well. Once I made it as far as the doorway only to have to go back and lie down with ice on my neck and forehead.
I’m glad I had asked Larry to meet me there just in case I got a result right on the spot. Instead he became my crutch to lean on (a position he has held often over the last year) and to get me to the car.
Dr. Schneider said the results would take at least 3 days.
Oh how I needed solace---the thought of three days of fearing the unknown was not a comforting thought. He became my Solace, my source of comfort throughout the rest of that day and that first (and last) night of waiting. I don’t remember if I even prayed or what I prayed if I did---but I know He was there.
Today the scripture prayer that comes to mind when needing solace/comfort is 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17.
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.
I took off during lunch to “run up” to have the “punch” biopsy done. Whew, I felt like he took out a big plug. (In retrospect, I know that to be a good thing since many a MAC diagnosis has been missed because the doc didn’t get a good specimen.) Afterwards, I was too light-headed and nauseous to even lift my head. Walking, with my weak knees, proved to be beyond me as well. Once I made it as far as the doorway only to have to go back and lie down with ice on my neck and forehead.
I’m glad I had asked Larry to meet me there just in case I got a result right on the spot. Instead he became my crutch to lean on (a position he has held often over the last year) and to get me to the car.
Dr. Schneider said the results would take at least 3 days.
Oh how I needed solace---the thought of three days of fearing the unknown was not a comforting thought. He became my Solace, my source of comfort throughout the rest of that day and that first (and last) night of waiting. I don’t remember if I even prayed or what I prayed if I did---but I know He was there.
Today the scripture prayer that comes to mind when needing solace/comfort is 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17.
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.
Monday, January 11, 2010
SUFFERING SERVANT
1/11/10 One year ago today, Taylor Park preached on “One-anothering in Suffering.” My journal notes included some great reminders of the One who suffered and died for us---the One who understands our suffering. He then emphasized the fact that suffering is a real part of the Christian community and just as Christ is there for us, we need to be there for others---to serve them in their time of need. Church needs to be a safe place for the hurting to come for solace and sanctuary.
JOURNAL JOTTINGS—(parenthetical jottings added 2010)
Bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 (Houston High School)
Intercede for one another. James 5 :16. (First Evan and folks worldwide)
Humbly serve one another. John 13:14 (T-Cups & other "nurses")
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Romans 12:10 (Michèle)
Be kind to one another. Ephesians 4:32 (FAMILY & FRIENDS)
Be hospitable to one another without complaint. 1 Peter 4:9 (Mary Flo)
At the time I did not realize I would be the recipient in such a monumental way of each of these “one-anotherings.”
This past year, I have known God as never before. Part of the reason is because of the goodness of God's people who took on His role and have served me in my suffering, time and time again, often at the expense of themselves.
I remain overwhelmed and truly grateful.
Obviously need it because I had this written in my am blog notes draft, saw it etched over the chapel at Baptist Women's Hospital and just finished my pm reading in Jesus Calling and there it was. 3 times of anything always gets my attention. It's my "rule" for a "heads up."
JOURNAL JOTTINGS—(parenthetical jottings added 2010)
Bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 (Houston High School)
Intercede for one another. James 5 :16. (First Evan and folks worldwide)
Humbly serve one another. John 13:14 (T-Cups & other "nurses")
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Romans 12:10 (Michèle)
Be kind to one another. Ephesians 4:32 (FAMILY & FRIENDS)
Be hospitable to one another without complaint. 1 Peter 4:9 (Mary Flo)
At the time I did not realize I would be the recipient in such a monumental way of each of these “one-anotherings.”
This past year, I have known God as never before. Part of the reason is because of the goodness of God's people who took on His role and have served me in my suffering, time and time again, often at the expense of themselves.
I remain overwhelmed and truly grateful.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10(My verse today because it's still where I need to be.*)
Obviously need it because I had this written in my am blog notes draft, saw it etched over the chapel at Baptist Women's Hospital and just finished my pm reading in Jesus Calling and there it was. 3 times of anything always gets my attention. It's my "rule" for a "heads up."
Sunday, January 10, 2010
S = Savior who stills my storms
1/10/10 One year ago today I read in Jesus Calling: " Every time you affirm your trust in Me.....you build up equity in preparation for days of trouble. Practice trusting Me during quiet days....then when storms come, your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through."
2009 was a year of lots of storms for the Liles family---many of which would qualify for a "10" on the stress scale---but God.....was there through each storm as our very present help.
He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. (Psalm 107:29)Then I prayed, "Lord if this doesn't "matter" for eternity, I'd rather it not be cancer."
2009 was a year of lots of storms for the Liles family---many of which would qualify for a "10" on the stress scale---but God.....was there through each storm as our very present help.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass; it's about learning how to dance in the rain." This quote, of unknown origin, succinctly states the beginning of my "dance" in my 2009 storm.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
"S" words covered by my "Safety Net"
1/9/10 One year ago today I heard the word biopsy* come out of Dr. Schneider's mouth.
When you hear biopsy and it pertains to you, it's like "hearing" it for the very first time.
Though he'd never seen anything like it before and it didn't look like cancer, a biopsy was the starting point in order to rule it out.
"S" words ensued---
When you hear biopsy and it pertains to you, it's like "hearing" it for the very first time.
Though he'd never seen anything like it before and it didn't look like cancer, a biopsy was the starting point in order to rule it out.
"S" words ensued---
- surprise---2 other doctors had seen it ('91 & '94) and had dismissed it saying I wouldn't want to "mess" with it because of scarring
- socked in the stomach jolt---CANCER----that's a word I pray for others not to have
- sick---a little, but "it doesn't look like cancer" was ringing louder than the biopsy word
- scared---does a biopsy hurt????
- suffering???---I'm not big on pain
As the world, as I had known it, began to shake, my "Safety Net" began to unfold.
The fear of man lays a snare but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. (Proverbs 29:25)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Sanctuary--- “S” = safe haven because we are secure in Him.
1/6/10 Even the on-line dictionary defines sanctuary not just as a safe haven but also a holy place. It actually lists the “sacred” element of the word first. I certainly equate it with refuge provided by a holy God.
In Genesis 12:8 I see an example of both the outer (physical) and inner (spiritual) sanctuary:
Then he (Abram/Abraham) proceeded from there to the mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east; and there he built an altar to the LORD and called upon the name of the LORD
Today’s My Utmost For His Highest entry described Bethel as the symbol of communing with God and Ai as the symbol of the world. Just as he pitched his tent between the two, we are reminded of the importance of always pitching our tents (finding sanctuary) in order to have quiet times with the Lord----regardless of the noise of the world around us and often even in the midst of it.
Many of us today seek physical sanctuaries as a refuge from all that the world throws at us. They are different for each of us---a beach, the mountains, a monastic retreat center, a closet, a prayer chair or just a simple prayer cloth worn over the head, as JoLynn taught the Talapneco ladies in Mexico. But it is there that we find real sanctuary when we take it to the next level as we commune with Him in worship.
In Moses’ time the inner sanctuary of the tabernacle was the most holy place, "Holy of Holies"---where the priests met with God. It was an actual physical place to meet with the Almighty.
Monday, January 4, 2010
He is the REASON
1/4/10
The
"R"s
of a
New Year's Spiritual Resolution
Remember
Refresh
Remain
Restore
Revive
Rejoice
Renew
Return
Rely
Source: e-mail from CMF
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Quiet is the “Q”
1/3/10 Often as I praise alphabetically in the middle of the night, I praise the Lord for His quiet and gentle spirit. It’s the side of Him (or attribute) that brings me comfort.
When my “anxious thoughts multiply within me,” like going back to work and tackling 2 grants and some unknowns, it’s the “Quiet God” (Upper Room 1/1) whom I seek. It is so easy for me to slip into fear mode when I have doubts about my self---some of them pretty well founded since this last surgery. I just can’t seem to remember things. Even now, I’m having trouble remembering any of those 9 days I was at work after medical leave and before semester break. (Except I do remember the butter cookies!)
So what’s a girl to do when she’s lost confidence in an area where she was once so self-assured? Hm-m-m, just typing it strikes a chord. SELF---needs to move over and sit and draw near and allow the Lord to quietly take over, “lead me beside still waters” and remind me that “In quietness and trust is your strength." (Isaiah 30:15)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Prince of Peace = P
1/2/10 Psalms for Women, a gift from Rick and Bonnie, reminded me of what Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, the author of “Streams in the Desert” wrote, “Two wings are necessary to lift our souls toward God: prayer and praise. Prayer asks. Praise accepts the answer.” I assert that it is in His Presence that prayer and praise are inexorably produced, thus leading to peace,
Friday, January 1, 2010
O is………..Omnipresence
1/1/10 Omnipresence is one of God’s divine attributes. God is present everywhere. It’s one of three characteristics that I dub as the ”all” attributes---omnipotence, “all powerful,” omniscience “all knowing” and omnipresent, “all the time.” It’s His unbounded universal Presence. He’s available always--in all situations and in all places. We just need to call upon Him in all places at all times.
If I have garnered anything from the past year, especially from “Jesus Calling,” it’s the importance of spending time in His Presence. Andrew Murray also emphasizes the importance of spending time alone with the Lord in quiet, uninterrupted communion. (The Secret of the Abiding Presence)
Today’s entry in “God Calling” reminded me that God stands between the years. He's there between the "auld lang syne"---those good ole days or not so good ole days and today and on into my future. “The light of My Presence is flung across the year to come.” What comfort that is!
Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; In Thy presence is fullness of joy: In Thy right hand are pleasures evermore. (Psalm 16: 11)
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