Here’s a peek at some of her “notes” that encouraged me without sugarcoating my diagnosis----she knew what I would be facing and was willing to share her experiences.
From first e-mail
Know that you are supported by this stranger who has stood where you stand and made it through to the other side.
2nd note---Throughout this McJourney, I have known a peace that simply cannot be explained in human terms. I know from reading your blog, Dotsy, that you have a special connection with your Maker and I know that will serve you well in the months and weeks ahead... He is NEVER far.
Please know that I am praying for you even as I write. (M taught me to do this)
1/23/09 I'm more than happy to walk this road with you ….I know there's no such thing as a benign response to the C-word...
1/24/09 I know the trauma, the physical ache, of this kind of thing--despite the strongest possible sense that God is near. But I've also reached the other side now and been able to look back and see the blessings, the GOLDEN linings that I might have missed ….. .I know that faith does not spare us entirely from the very real fears and nervousness that come from living in a fallen world with an ailing body. Those fears, those sleepless nights and moments of near-panic, are not a condemnation of our spirituality, they are the expression of our humanity.
And if we somehow manage to continue to live in hope and joy in spite of them, that's a validation of the God whose comfort surpasses our very limited understanding. (A-men to that, Michèle)
2/2/10 I want to encourage you--exhort you!--to allow at least a handful of those who love you to see the full scope of your emotional response to this devastating blow. Or if you'd rather vent to a relative stranger who would NEVER condemn you for honest emotions, you can do so to me too.
I've discovered that in moments of gravest need, God uses flesh-and-blood angels to soothe and comfort. The road of my McJourney has been paved with the stepping stones of kindred believers and gentle strangers, and I pray the same will be true for you. (Oh, how true that was for me---the “land of the living” my, willing to be used by God, flesh and blood angels have blessed me and mine beyond measure.)
I know that God is here… (and so do I!)
Michèle sharing her own journey was the greatest comfort for me----God was (is) here. It is His hand I've felt on my back, warmed by late-day sun. It is His peace in my mind, soothed and unraveled by His answer to my prayer. It is His promise in my chest, loosening the stranglehold, with every deep breath, of that oppressive opaque uneasiness. He was the faint light growing deeper; the warm colors of beginnings, not the heavy cold hues of endings.
Michèle THOTS---I’m not saying that it will be easy if Mac takes his worst possible course. But it will be okay....Because God has made promises that transcend our physical experience..... life is already—filled with ..... loving and being loved, and unfathomable serenity.
This morning when I read this year old note from Michèle, I realized the depth of truth that her words held.
Dotsy, every time I think about you I simultaneously feel a tightening in my chest for the journey still ahead and a surge of praise for the way God is going to walk with you at every turn in the unpredictable road that will lead to your healing. I'm sure you can't even imagine it the nearly-physical reality of His presence yet, but you'll experience it in a breathtaking way, even amid the pain and sadness and anger and depression the journey might entail. He'll be there. So powerfully and so comfortingly. You'll be amazed.
I was indeed amazed and blessed by my MAC journey/dance, just like Michèle said I would be. Her encouragement was a big part of that.
Last fall Michèle wrote on one of her gorgeous handmade photo notes:
I think of you daily and pray already for your October surgery. God has been so good to you.….and he isn’t going to stop now! I consider myself honored to stand with you in prayer & spirit & even more blessed to call you friend. With much love ---and already looking forward to our next encounter.
Our next encounter---wow it will this weekend. Isn’t God good!! Maybe I can, in someway, encourage her---because that’s the way it’s suppose to be.
So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith (Galatians 6:10)Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, (I Thessalonians 5:11)
Encouragement. Reciprocate, pass it forward---just do it. Strew your life’s path with excerpts of encouragement for others. You’ll be glad you did and so will they.
