The circumstances of this past year have had a way of reminding me that time was passing---rather quickly, it seemed. All of us know that God’s timetable for our life ticks on until….we just don’t know when the “until” will be. But somehow there is a greater sense of knowing that you’re moving toward it. It’s not morbid---just awareness that things are changing somewhat. It certainly seems to take longer to do what was once done in a flash. There’s also frustration when energy flags and body parts ache without much provocation or there are gaping black holes in our thinking when we try to retrieve even a simple word. Or the way some clerks overlook us or dismiss us as if we’re children, unless they want to sell us anti-aging stuff at the cosmetic counter.
Sometimes it’s a little harder to look ahead and be optimistic of what’s ahead. Health wise for ourselves. Concern for all that lies in wait for our children and our grandkids. In contrast, our son, Josh, is about to embark on a new life as a married man with much ahead of him. He hasn’t begun to hear his “life ticks.” He and Megan are both full of ideas for lots of plans and travels for "tomorrow."
Aging can have a sadness aspect linked to memories past---those moments we can never recapture. I still want to pick up the phone and call Mother and share my moments with her.
But now there’s also the realization that even things that only happen for a short while can have value. Moments matter. I had such a moment yesterday. As steam was swirling outside from the dryer vent (drying all the “fro-up” linens) and the wind was blowing rivulets of raindrops across the large plate glass window in the breakfast area, Caleb (4) and Noah (6) sat mesmerized as they watched the birds and munched their Lance Toast Chee crackers. They each had a Peterson Field Guide to the Birds of North America and would stop to “read “ the pictures occasionally. Orange cracker crumbs caught on the windowsill. The birds didn’t seem to mind the rain or their observers and I certainly didn’t mind the cracker crumbs. I reveled in the moment. Hopefully it is burned in my memory.
Home is where one starts from. As we grow olderAs always God’s word is the perfect antidote for this malady know as ________________. Mine’s aging. I’m giving my fear of an unpredictable earthly future to the Lord. You fill in your own blank, then take it to the Lord.
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living. Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
("East Coker" by T.S. Eliot, )
I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
