Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"negativi-TEA"


1/10/12 negativiTEA is a cuppa that I serve others way too often as each new year begins. I know that because I have a post-it® note in my journal that warns me----a funk is coming. An irritability coupled with a darkness that is overwhelming. The scribble really serves as a reminder to accept it and not be blind-sided. Acceptance with preparation----know that there is a brighter day coming. (Usually within the 2nd week of the month.) Only a few more days, maybe.

I've been asking self, “Is it hormonal?” Is it because of the 1/9/09 cancer diagnosis? Emotional let down from holidays?

What ever the cause, the effect is one of pessimism. I become Negative Nelly or Dotsy Downer, as daughter dubs me. Life’s focus is one of disapproval---the flaws of others, the faults and foibles of self.

NegativiTEA is a hard cuppa to swallow. I choke on it myself. Why do I serve it to others, especially loved ones! I don't intentionally serve it but my cuppa seems to slosh over and "dampen" their lives, as well. I think negativiTEA must be the beverage of choice for those in the pit. So....I just need to get out of the pit.

My post-it® note had a suggestion---a spiritual RX of sorts. Time in word during holidays might help. (I wish I had dated that note to track the timetable of this annual malady.)

I need to remember the One "who redeems your (my) life from the pit, who crowns you (me) with steadfast love and mercy, (Psalm 103:4)

Praises for the One who can hear my cry, bring me up of the of the pit, and redirect my footsteps----even putting a new song in my mouth----a song of praise. (Psalm 40:1-3) If others see that in my life during this time may they know it flows from His cuppa, not mine. Grace: His antidote for my negitiviTEA.