FORGIVING FRIDAY!

Mr. Snarky on the back row did not even know he had offended me.

"TIT FOR TAT" is the idiom that came to mind. I wanted to repay in kind.

I had to appropriate restraint--not in words spoken but in nasty, impure thoughts.

I needed to practice kindness.

Timely Scotty wrote, which I did not read until I returned home from the gym, "Jesus doesn't repay in kind but in kindness."

CONVICTION!

Forgiveness needed. I asked the Lord to forgive my own snarky thoughts. 

I'm not sure what the next step will be but I hope it's wrapped in kindness!

CHOOSE FORGIVENESS

Why is it often easier to forgive others than to forgive ones self?

I'm not sure there is a succinct scripture that answers the question, but I am going to keep looking.

Many have heard me negatively say, "It's so hard being me!" 

Even "Hubby" constantly tells me to "Quit being so hard on my wife!" 

Self-recrimination reigns these days. It's really hard when my lack of ability gets in the way of ALL I feel responsible for, especially when it affects others. 

Consummate travel planner is no more a descriptor for me. Upcoming Disney trip boggles my mind. So, I've chosen not to think about it in a timely way. I dropped the ball! I feel crummy. I also feel outside of my comfort zone and incapable. Fast pass scheduling is beyond me much less having the app that will show "how to be where when" for the ultimate Disney experience. 

Only showing NEAT part---If you saw all the scribbles of heights of kids, preferences, codes that lead nowhere & passwords that no longer work etc. you'd see my pitiful planning skills. ARGH!

So-o-o grateful that I have a daughter and daughter-in-law with sharp minds and willing spirits, to take up the slack, know the contacts and cover all the bases. 

Now, I have to let it go and choose to forgive myself remembering that God does not want perfection but progress. Maybe I need to start moving toward forgiving myself.

 

First step of forgiveness is to repent. So, do I repent of thinking negatively about myself or just repent of thinking negatively? Philippians 4:8 does not list "negativity" of any sort as one of the "things" to consider when thinking is occurring. Therefore regardless of my scattered thinking, I need to think on on virtuous things. Negativity is not virtuous! 

I am ready to move on so that times of "refreshing may come from the Lord."

So....I choose to accept His forgiveness of my negative thinking.

Captivi-TEA

A cuppa captivi-TEA is needed if I'm to serve a little positivi-TEA to others. I have to live it before I can serve it.

Yea, yea, I know----tea blogs were for last year ----but cut me a little slack because "tea thinking" is a part of who I am. And a cuppa captivi-Tea is about one's thought life.

If I'm concerned about thinking positive thoughts about Memphis town, surely I can work on eliminating negative aspects about my self.

Replacement thinking. Sounds like something one would hear from a therapist's couch. Replacing my thoughts with His thoughts is from the "good book" not a psychology book. My thoughts are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8) so I need to "bring every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) out of obedience to the Lord.

This week, partly in response to my husband's request to "quit being so hard on my wife," I have tried "replacement thinking."

• ADD Reality---Always Distracted Dotsy---(similar to my often "Ditsy" typo-label) Replacement Response---God knows me by my "real" name---(Exodus 33:17)

"Dotsy(s)" on the cuppa mark it as really mine! CF knew that!

--Reality (what I think)---It's so-o-o hard being me.

**Replacement Response--I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

--Ineptness Reality---What I think when unable to conquer my PowerPoint for upcoming Exodus lesson.
**Replacement Response--God's power is made perfect in "my" weakness. Go God! (2 Corinthians 12:9)

--Most common self-inflicted diatribes---I haven't a clue and I can't remember squat.
**Replacement Response--To the man who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, (Ecclesiastes 2:26)

WHOOPS---how pitiful are those diatribes for one whose desire is to please Him---God gives wisdom to those who please Him. 

My "personal pursuit" for 2015 is to please GOD. I'd better bring that reminder front and center---a cuppa Captivi-TEA of thoughts and actions to please Him.

"negativi-TEA"

1/10/12 negativiTEA is a cuppa that I serve others way too often as each new year begins. I know that because I have a post-it® note in my journal that warns me----a funk is coming. An irritability coupled with a darkness that is overwhelming. The scribble really serves as a reminder to accept it and not be blind-sided. Acceptance with preparation----know that there is a brighter day coming. (Usually within the 2nd week of the month.) Only a few more days, maybe.

I've been asking self, “Is it hormonal?” Is it because of the 1/9/09 cancer diagnosis? Emotional let down from holidays?

What ever the cause, the effect is one of pessimism. I become Negative Nelly or Dotsy Downer, as daughter dubs me. Life’s focus is one of disapproval---the flaws of others, the faults and foibles of self.

NegativiTEA is a hard cuppa to swallow. I choke on it myself. Why do I serve it to others, especially loved ones! I don't intentionally serve it but my cuppa seems to slosh over and "dampen" their lives, as well. I think negativiTEA must be the beverage of choice for those in the pit. So....I just need to get out of the pit.

My post-it® note had a suggestion---a spiritual RX of sorts. Time in word during holidays might help. (I wish I had dated that note to track the timetable of this annual malady.)

I need to remember the One "who redeems your (my) life from the pit, who crowns you (me) with steadfast love and mercy, (Psalm 103:4)

Praises for the One who can hear my cry, bring me up of the of the pit, and redirect my footsteps----even putting a new song in my mouth----a song of praise. (Psalm 40:1-3) If others see that in my life during this time may they know it flows from His cuppa, not mine. Grace: His antidote for my negitivi-TEA.