BREATHE DEEPLY

3/30/11

Catching a breath was one of the “concerns” I had several weeks ago. I didn’t think it was the scary “shortness of breath” type that preceded a heart attack. I just found it hard to catch a breath and I ended up yawning as a result. Sometimes even the yawn was not satisfying. My intake just wasn’t going deep enough. Was there a real medical concern? I just wanted more life sustaining air? Was panic (in my mind) the real problem? Can a tired, muddled mind create enough anxiety to incapacitate the lungs?

On Sunday, Cole summarized a segment of Jon Krakauer”s book, Into Thin Air, which documents the disastrous climb of Mt. Everest in 1996 in which 8 of their team of 14 perished. At several of the camps/passes along the way to the mountain summit, extra oxygen tanks awaited. In one instance a climber, possibly disoriented from oxygen deprivation, radioed to climbers ahead reporting that the oxygen canisters were empty. These climbers had just been there and knew “full” canisters were available. No matter how much they implored him to use them, his altered mental state prevented him from availing himself of the life-giving source. Canisters of oxygen-----right there in front of him and he couldn’t see ‘em.

Over the last few weeks, I have been aware that an extra dose of scripture is the RX I need most. God’s word, right there in front of me. Why wasn’t I picking it up and delving deeply instead of getting by on my own somewhat limited supply of life-giving Scripture.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. II Timothy 3:16 (ESV)

I want to inhale all that He has exhaled---in big, deep, soul satisfying breaths/gulps!

This morning I sat and breathed in God's Word. How easy it then was to breathe out my praises as well as pleas to Him.

A.D.D.

3/29/11 Acutely Distracted Dotsy. That’s me! That’s where I am in my life. If you don’t believe me just take a gander at my sermon notes. Where is the outline form that defines my notes? The CAPS for emphasis? The THOTS? The color insertions? Where are all the characteristics that make my notes identifiable? These current notes, with scribbles here there and yon, are muddled---just like my mind. Will it get better? I’m not so sure.
I, who once preferred people arriving at my parties in alphabetical order because it was easier to check them off the guest list, haven’t the wherewithal to plan a party or even think about generating a guest list. A list is the absolute easiest form of note taking. How do I keep going? How do I focus?

In so many areas (other than notetaking), I seemed to have dug a hole and I just keep digging, unable to get out ----creating a fog of dirt and dust in my eyes. I want out of this earthly hole of “unavoidable” circumstances, which I have made larger by my own “unfocused” digging. When I cry, it just muddies my focus even more.

Maybe a better question is, Where are my eyes focused? Will my mind follow since my mind is the “the eyes of my understanding?”

Scripture tells me that the Lord’s eyes are on me? “The LORD pays attention to (literally, the eyes of the LORD are toward) the godly and hears their cry for help” (Psalm 34:15). Shouldn’t my eyes be upon Him? "……fixing our eyes on Jesus," (Hebrews 12:2a)

Help me Lord to return to Always Dancing Dotsy.

His answer is simple. It’s all about a “set” focus, Dotsy. His focus/plan set for me. "Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2)

STRENGTH FOR THE WEARY

3/28/11 GLUED TO THE BED. That’s what my body has felt like these last few days. I’ve reset my alarm from 4:14 to 4:24 and now tomorrow it might well be 4:34. (I know the numbers are odd. Remember, I’m time compulsive.)

I’ve slept a lot in the car while sweet hubby drives Miss Dotsy. Friday night I tried to stretch out on the hospital bed in room 2019B. No rest there, I set off an “escape” alarm that was set for Daddy. Saturday I even slept on the workout platform in the therapy gym on the 2^nd floor at the Vandy Rehab Hospital. I just can’t seem to get my “energy” legs back.

God had answered my Job 4:4 prayer for Daddy that the Lord might “help(ed) the tottering to stand, And….strengthen(ed) feeble knees.” I’ve even prayed for His strength and might and praised Him to others for His provision. Yet, here I was battling fatigue again this morning. So………..more strength verses (KJV) for meditation. Hope you join me whether you need emotional or physical strength or you are praising Him for the strength He has already provided.

Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Psalm 59:16 But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning, For You have been my stronghold And a refuge in the day of my distress.

Psalm 71:9 Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Isaiah 57:10 "You were tired out by the length of your road, Yet you did not say, ' It is hopeless.' You found renewed strength, Therefore you did not faint.

TRANSITIONS

3/27/11

A life in flux. Just like the ever changing weather lately----the storms and dreary days with lower temps just keep rolling in and out. My closet reflects those transitions.

A life in flux, indeed. That phrase sums up these last 18 days. I’ve transitioned from a gal who loaded her pill box with just 3 hormones per week plus vitamins and calcium to the “old people box” of real drugs and an aspirin per day. (3/9-3/25)

My role of a daughter of a physically healthy 89 year old dad was changed (3/13) when he became a recovering stroke victim with both increased memory loss & cognitive decline along with speech and physical impairment. With Larry’s mom, (Mommar), I transitioned emotionally from “experiencing” her dementia/Alzheimer's life to the sudden diagnosis (3/16) of metastasized cancer with the anticipation of much pain and required hospice.

Even abrupt changes in “roles” were evident this weekend; daughter/therapist for Daddy at a rehab center in Nashville, daughter-in-law encourager for Larry’s mom who just didn’t want to get out of bed, grandmother (aka Shug) for Owen as we shared the experience of Madagascar Live!

Flux. Change. Times of transition. Whatever the nomenclature, it is my life. I have been both anxious and discouraged.

But God……..

“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held” is the transition chorus that was sung at church today between the lyrics of “Day after Day” and the old hymn “It is Well With My Soul.”

Day after day our God is reigning


He’s never shaken,

my hope is in the Lord


Time after time our God is faithful


Trustworthy Savior,

my hope is in the Lord.

---“It is well. It is well, through the storm I am held.”

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

What a great “life” transition reminder for me---“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held.” (Although maybe storm should be plural.)

T.T.T.T. Revisited

3/25/11

T.T.T.T.---That acronym is part of the marginalia I had added to 3/22 entry of my Jesus Calling. Sarah Young’s entry for that day reminded me to ”be thankful!”….. ”practice trusting,” ”practice thanking.” My practicing skills seem to be a little rusty lately. I know that thankfulness to the One who is the “lifter up of my head” (Psalm 3:3) can lift me above my circumstances. Needed----a “paradigm shift” from planner to truster.

That day I chose to quit worrying about the “beating” of my heart and concentrate on the grateful shaping of my heart.

T.T.T.T. is my separated and simplified reminder.

Thankfully Trusting Thee Today

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)

T.T.T.T.

3/24/11 Enjoy this picture sent to me by retired SCS librarian Elaine M. while I finish the blog. Her breakfast table arrangement with her GG's narcissus and Jesus Calling made me smile. I bet it will have author, Sarah Young smiling as well. I can't wait to hear Elaine's story of how she discovered that little devotional book read daily by so many of us. I've shared some of your stories with Sarah already. If you have one you'd like me to share with her, just let me know.

Heartsick

3/23/11

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

I’ve learned a little something as I’ve been in this “unhealthy” waiting room. Unfulfilled expectations can be crippling or at least disconcerting.

The doctor would call with results the first of the week----I’ve had no messages.

Is Wednesday the first of the week?

When I talk with an intermediary (nurse) and she says the reports indicate “something” in left carotid artery. She says medicine would be called in to handle it. No pharmacy has called to tell me that I have an RX waiting.

I could go on belaboring the point but that would be futile. Doctors are so-o-o busy. I know that. Someone has to run interference or they’d never get to go home. But I’m learning the importance of our words. Sometimes words bring hope and when there is no follow through, disappointment can be great. Maybe even devastating depending on the emotional stability of the one “let down.”

Think about children. Do adults “promise” them events that raise their hopes only to be disappointed again and again---sometimes to the point of disillusionment? Maybe the reasons were valid. (like a busy doc). Maybe working overtime was valid to the adult but didn’t ring true to the child. Maybe their reasons were just excuses.

Do you (I) do what we say we’re going to do? Do you (I) glibly tell someone we’ll give them a call and promptly forget that intention. Or did we really intend it? Was it just a mannerly thing we say in the South?

I think it’s important to back up our words with actions so that we don’t litter life’s pathways with “heartsick “ people.

Burden Bearing

3/21/11 Alone in a dark parking lot at 5:30 am. Overcome with a wave of nausea and cold sweats---I was scared. So.........

I unloaded my burdens today at work----maybe out of fear. Maybe out of necessity. But I have willing, caring, listening burden bearers at Houston and I felt safe. I do believe there is a time to bear our fears/cares/struggles in solitude. Sometimes I have to work through things and have a good cry before I’m ready to share. Sometimes I go right to my prayer partners. It takes wisdom to know which avenue to follow.

This past week I have felt burdened beyond belief as I have watched loved ones suffer and have felt helpless. Emotionally I have struggled. Physically I have struggled. I am wiped out. 

Tonight I’m taking my burden to THE Burden Bearer. I know that He gives to His beloved even in their sleep.(Psalm 127:2)

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matt. 11:28-30)

FATIGUE

3/20/11FATIGUE……..in ALL CAPS. I think that must be the label above the wall I just “hit.” Actually I seem to be surrounded by tired, sagging walls. Walls too exhausted and too WEAK to hold me up. There is no apparent way out. No doors labeled ENERGY are appearing.

Fret not, Dots. (Psalm 37:23-24)

Be anxious for nothing....(Philippians 4:6)

Maybe I need to pray Colossians 1:11 for myself as well as others.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, (ESV)

“worry-webs”

3/18/11

Wynelllen called and e-mailed to both check on me and to ask if I had read today’s Jesus Calling? My answer was, “Not yet.”

The entry had my journal jottings from 2 years ago.That “little” devotional with the BIG messages has continued to be right on target for the circumstances I face.

Two years ago today at Baylor hospital, I had a "line" in my hand. Today at Memphis Heart Clinic I had a "line" in my arm. Disconcerting circumstances both times.

But God……in 2009 had me sharing Jesus Calling books (another Wynellen provision) with my Baylor nurses, one of whom (Martha) was later diagnosed with cancer. This time the receptionist at the Memphis center had the book on her desk. She told me it had helped her through a really rough year. I was able to e-mail Sarah Young (author of Jesus Calling) and then give Camille the reply---- Sarah Young’s prayers for her and all her readers. What a blessing.

But….the “worry-webs” today had been about to consume me. I was in a tangle.

• No early time in His Presence
  
• Problems, though minor, at my morning tests
  
• Meeting with hospice for Mommar as she sat there, hearing but not understanding
  
• Daddy’s paperwork fiasco over ambulance transport from KY to Vanderbilt rehab facility
• Missing a call from “my” clinic---already closed was message when I returned call

Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest, 1/2) reminds us that "worry is an impertinence to God." He also asks (4/20), are you “slandering God by daring to worry?”

I began to focus on giving thanks. Thankful for;

• Wynellen’s reminder and the supper she provided,
  
• One of my tests was administered by a girl who announced, “You were my librarian in 7^th & 8^th grade,”
  
• A kind, helpful hospice nurse for Mommar---help available 5 days and any other time as deemed necessary,
  
• Daddy’s safe arrival at new facility with brother, Bobby & Louise at his side,
  
• Safe arrival of brother, Buddy & Charlotte to Louisville after 3 sleepless nights of hospital duty
  
• A clinic that calls even if I’m not sure why.

Matthew 6:25a & 33-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, (Take no thought of all these circumstances, Dotsy)

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Time in His Presence is crucial, especially when you’re rushed and tired) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (A-men to that)

Tonight I’m using God’s word, one verse at a time to tear down my “worry webs” one strand at a time.

GOD-PLACED

3/17/11

Date--3/15/11-3/16/11

Place-- Jennie Stuart Memorial Hospital Hopkinsville, KY

Room 503--At Daddy’s bedside.

There’s no place else I’d rather be today.

Does he know me? No. Can he tell me his name ? No.

Is there hope for a better tomorrow---yes, but never the way it once was.

Highlights: (This is where the focus needs to be.)

Surrounded by family

Daddy’s answers to questions when speech isn’t garbled

Louise asks, “What can I do for you?” Daddy answers, “Politics.”

I ask if he wants more jello. Daddy answers, “Sales have fallen off.” I wonder if that means he thinks we can’t afford more jello.

Laughter---not at him but with each other

Time alone with him through the night

12 “wet” changes between 9 p.m. & 6 a.m. ---often included gown, pads, sheets & sometimes blanket---that’s positive, because “wet” is preferable. (Medicare won’t pay if he gets an infection, so doc doesn’t want a catheter—oh, the insurance “adjustments” of our red tape world.)

Reading Psalms aloud to him. Reminding him that Psalm 121 was Mama Davenport’s favorite. He ate lunch at her house every Wednesday for years and years. Daddy loves a big lunch---always has. Still does.

“Code Red” doors slamming and lights flashing didn’t scare him as the “drill” took place. I, on the other hand, didn’t have a clue what was going on and was nervous.

2 a.m. – 3 a.m.---jello picnic. I became his new best friend when I commandeered some cherry jello from the code locked room. Waitresses at Roundie’s, Daddy’s later years lunch-time haunt, knew to always bring him the “daily flavor” jello after his meal so he could really savor it.

Help from nurses though tremendously short-staffed. Daddy’s first un-garbled and coherent response to nurses question, “Why do you keep kicking off the covers? Are you hot?” Daddy’s response, “I don’t like it.” His answer made sense. It was clear & we could understand all four words. I could have done back flips. What a biggie----a great answer, from a man who never, (rarely) complains.

Daddy’s smiles. He doesn’t know where he is or who he is but he’s not in pain.

So-o-o God-placed. There was no place else I’d rather be!

‘honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 19:19)

Mis-placed or God-placed

3/15/11 I’m in Memphis. Daddy’s in a hospital bed in Hopkinsville. Shouldn’t I be there? My heart says yes. My body and my family say no. I feel mis-placed. Yet, Buddy’s recent sermons on Joseph and the seemingly mis-placed events in J's life were highlighted by each placement clearly being for the purpose of a sovereign God to work all things together for good for His people. So I need to ask myself, “What is God’s plan for me in this; what are the life lessons?”

I know that I learn in the suffering. I know, from experience that sufferings can become blessings. I know that God will never leave me.

I know that after yesterday’s ultrasound I feel “safe enough,” with Larry driving me to KY, to see Daddy. So, I’m following my emotional heart, not necessarily my physical heart, and headin’ out. It will be a brief visit but I will at least be able to see Daddy for a bit and that seems like the right place for me.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

So wherever I'm placed today, I know that I am NOT misplaced!

Love-o-Meter

3/14/11

Want to check out your love life or love-o-meter for others? Francis Chan suggests in his book, Crazy Love, that you insert your name where love or its pronoun are mentioned in I Corinthians 13:4-8. Do that for each phrase as you read aloud this Monday’s passage for meditation.

Dotsy is patient. Dotsy is kind. Dotsy does not envy. (You get the “convicting” idea.)

Love is patient

and kind;

love does not envy

or boast;

it is not arrogant

or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable

or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things

endures all things.

God calls us to love. To love Him and others as ourselves. Too often we love ourselves above all else. God measures our lives by how we love. (Chan, 93) How is your love-o-meter looking?

NECESSARY Pruning

3/13/11 Yesterday, I spent time with hubby in the yard with clippers and pruning shears. Felder Rushing, former Memphian, and 10th-generation American gardener, would be rolling his eyes because the Liles prune when time allows. Convenience often rules our lives even to our lawn care. I spent less time outside than hubby did though I did try not only to direct his efforts but also to try my hand with the pruning shears as well. Fatigue took me inside before the job was completed but I took a spiritual lesson with me as I closed the door to the outside world and sat at the feet of my Master Gardener.

(John 15) ¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Pruning both in the garden and in our spiritual lives is necessary for healthy growth. We have to get rid of the superfluous and useless parts that compete with the healthy growth. Pruning helps to bring balance and it guides the shaping of the plant (or person) to be all it (or she) was intended to be by the one who planted it.

These last 6-8 weeks, the Lord has begun an awareness of pruning that is needed in my life. I don’t have enough time in my day for everything. My time needs trimming and shaping. I need to know my Master Gardener’s plan for me for this season in my life. I know that pruning is painful. I just need to remember that God will never leave me and His pruning is loving surgery to allow me to let His “Sonlight” go deeper than it ever has before. If it becomes the blessing that my cancer was, I know I’m going to love the results. **

A Well pruned life---what does it look like? I’ve seen it in the lives of others---Marge Andrews, Geary Irwin, Mary Ann Frazier. But I don’t know what it looks like in my own life----but God ….God willing and guiding (“apart from Me, you can do nothing.” John 15:6), I’m going to find out because I have recently enrolled in Basic Pruning 101, A Guide to NECESSARY Pruning. Care to join me? The text is God’s Word and is free on-line.

**Before I even could post this blog entry, I received an upsetting phone call. I had planned to be in KY this week for the first part of Spring Break. My cardiologist visit on Wednesday and another carotid artery “episode” thwarted those plans.

This phone call was from brother, Bobby, with an update on Daddy. Friday, Daddy had trouble eating lunch because his right hand was swollen & wouldn’t work for him. Care clinic and ER visits showed no stroke but an appointment was set for Monday with his internist. Late this afternoon an ambulance took him to Jennie Stuart hospital. Daddy has had a stroke and though we’re hopeful it’s mild, he couldn’t recall Bobby’s name or remember his own birth date.

Please join me in praying God’s best for Daddy.

Saturday's Post----------More Than Words……

3/12/11……that’s what encouragement often is. Caring people who “bear one another’s burdens.” (Galatians 6:2) My life has been filled with these “who are more than cheerleaders” my “T-Cups” with whom I shared a 1,000 laughs last night, my “lunch bunch,” my “dining divas”, my Hoptown chums, college chums, Pi Phis, my dancers, neighbors, my Mary Flo, my Michèle etc., etc., etc. As many of you know these were the ones who “fulfilled the law of Christ” as they bore my burdens through my cancer journey. They carried my family and work responsibilities while feeding, nursing and baby sitting me. These folks in the land of the living showed the goodness of the Lord. (Psalm 27:13) and therefore I was not dismayed.

All of us of the community of faith are called to do likewise.

Caring people (those "helping" others in need) bring to mind today's Scripture text which is a powerful rule for the earnest follower of Christ. We are to "bear one another's burdens." To "bear" means to carry or endure. A "burden" means a weight that is heavy or crushing. We have all had experiences in life when others have some alongside and borne our burdens. We are called to do likewise. GAL 6:10 "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."

What does "burden bearing" and "doing good" look like? Phone call or e-mail. Errand running. Intercessory prayer at 3am. (Thanks, Bernie) Mail pick-up. Babysitting.

This verb, “bearing” is both imperative (a command) and continuous action. (on-going) Writing that card, making that phone call, picking up that RX or praying for those who need relief from their hardship or difficulty, can be a way to bless them. This has the power to lighten burdens and encourage beyond positive words.

Encouragement is more than words.

CHEERLEADER!!

3/11/11

Do you have a cheerleader in your life? Are you a cheerleader in someone else’s life? When Mother died in 2001 I lost my #1 cheerleader. It's such a loss when the one who loves you unconditionally is “gone.” Yet, the Lord in his faithfulness has given me lots of "encouragers" throughout my life. They just became more relevant when Mother was absent from said life.

At Noah’s “first graders” basketball game last week their Tiger team even had cheerleaders. Not sure they fully understood cheering for the team but the words were right and their equipment included megaphones and pom-poms---essential to making sure the words could be heard. Positive words. Encouraging words.

Even as a Morningside Elementary cheerleader, (short one on far right side of back row----can’t miss that home perm) I learned lessons about supporting others. All our cheers were of the "2-4, 6- 8, who do we appreciate" variety. We weren’t even allowed to “yell” anything with negative connotations toward the opposing team.

I need to be more of a cheerleader for my own family. Daughter Molly has a way of taking me to task if I become too “preachy.” I can all too easily recount the bad possibilities that one might encounter on chosen courses of action. I call it being realistic. She calls me a “Debbie Downer” or a “Negative Nancy”----especially if my remarks in anyway thwarts her plans. Even when I explain that I was only trying to be helpful, she says I spell helpful as c-o-n-t-r-o-l. Control is not encouraging. Neither is false praise or overindulgence. Enabling is not encouraging.

It’s scriptural to encourage one another. The world needs more cheerleaders. I would “suit up” but I’m no longer eency. But.....I still have several of my high school letters. Maybe I’ll hang them up as reminders to cheer on family and friends in their life journeys. Maybe I’ll look for that old “M” to urge me to be Molly’s cheerleader as my mother was for me.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily,……

Ask yourself these questions: Do I bring sunshine or gloom into the room? Do I excuse myself by redefining negativity, by saying, "I'm just a worrier or I was born that way?" Or, "It’s just my nature. I’m depressed, always have been."

Give it up for others. Grab a pom-pom and be visible with your support. Use a megaphone for words of encouragement and drown out the negative. Stand in someone else’s corner. Be on their team. Be their cheerleader.

Night Noises

3/9/11

Nighttime. Why is it so hard? “Things” seem to grow in the blackness of the night---at least at my house. I just want to close my mind to the thoughts---fly away from the problems, which believe it or not, is the way the psalmist, David, felt.

Psa. 55:4-8

My insides are turned inside out; specters of death have me down.

I shake with fear, I shudder from head to foot.

"Who will give me wings," I ask—"wings like a dove?"

Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet.

I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods.

I'm desperate for a change, from rage and stormy weather. (The Message)

Night Noises, a picture book, by Australian author, Mem Fox, tells of Lily Laceby, an old woman whose bones were as creaky as floorboards at midnight. Noises do tend to intensify in the night----just like my thoughts. Anxieties, insecurities, hurts. All those fears seem to gain strength in the night. They become a like a “roaring lion” waiting to devour---the teeth of the enemy waiting to “eat” me alive.

I know the scripture, “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19) Yet, my roaring thoughts were drowning out meditation and robbing me of my rest---good news (exciting), bad news (heartbreaking), Michelè’s MRI, revolt in Libya, Afghan women. My night noises of anxiety/pain know no geographical limits.

Fox’s Night Noises heralded a surprising awakening. My awakening was fatigue----no surprise there. But God…….”the One who gives songs in the night” (Job 35:10) sent afternoon mail that brought a scripture reminder.

We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts (2 Peter 1:19)

I think I’ll take this verse to bed with me tonight to ward off my “scary” night noises.

In A Heartbeat (A Monday Meditation posted Tuesday)

3/8/11

Audio books are the way to travel. Long trips seem to be shortened. Daily commutes seem to be more tolerable. When my commute was longer, it was a way to critique the latest books for the Lakeland Elementary library before I added them to the shelves. The hard part was making myself get out of the car and go into work when I was at one of those cliff-hanging moments.

Last week, Charles Martin’s, The Mountain Between Us was not available on CD, at my "local" library so we began the long drive to Texas without a “book.” As night approached and we knew it would be hard to stay awake ‘til midnight, we stopped at the Cracker Barrel in AR on I-30 at exit 123 just to check out their audio book selections. For $3.49 you can “rent” the book for a week.----not as cheap as the library but at that point availability was key. (You actually pay for the CD and then when you return it, to any Cracker Barrel, and they refund all but the $3.49)

We chose Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy’s book, In a Heartbeat, which was their ”side” of the story of The Blind Side. It was interesting to us because of all the Memphis references. Even Shelby County Schools’ librarian and peer, Jacque Higdon was mentioned. Go Jacque!

Though the book dealt with this white, East Memphis couple’s adoption of a young black man from Hurt Village, the book emphasized the power of joyful giving. The power of little gifts. Continued blessings that flow as one gives, especially from their own lack.

As Christians, generosity and giving are certainly important parts of our faith. But God……….. is more concerned with our attitude than the exact amount given. What’s your attitude in giving? Are you a cheerful giver or a begrudging loaner with expectations on your “return” investment? It’s definitely a heart issue. How’s your heart? Are you giving of your time or energy or other possessions to those in need? These are questions I’m asking myself.

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

More Moments, or not

3/4/11 Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, writes of narrowing the number of people he would spend his time with when he was given the prognosis of "3 to 6 months of good health left."

That reminder and the story of the 55 yr. old man who, after determining the approximate number of “life” weeks left, put 1,000+ marbles in a clear jar and took one out every Saturday. Then he would celebrate that day by doing something special with loved ones. Eventually his jar was empty. Then his focus became one of gratitude because of the “extra” days of blessing which the Lord was bestowing upon him. A person’s days are determined; (Job14:5) (http://www.allenbible.org/sermon_audios/AllenBible013011.mp3)

With that mentality and “google,” I discovered that if I live the life span (average number of days for a US female) determined by the World Bank, I would need 832 marbles in my jar. That’s sobering. Yet, that’s exciting too. Just think of all the possibilities for touching the hearts and lives of people, if, in those weeks, I gain a heart of wisdom and impart that wisdom to others.

I don’t want to waste my days/life. I want to be about living wisely with a God-shaped agenda and make a difference in the lives of others as I serve them and glorify Him.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

Moment by Moment

3/3/11

As I continue to meditate on Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, 
 that we may gain a heart of wisdom. I am beginning, by God’s grace, to focus on the folks who matter. Some folks are obvious---family and friends. Kingdom folks matter too. So I’m hoping that my time with the folks God puts in my life will matter for His kingdom. Working women (at least this one) don’t seem to have large chunks of time to give to others especially, as the physical energy seems to ebb. So……….I’m asking the Lord to help me make the most of my moments so that I really serve and glorify Him as I minister to others. That’s what matters.

Leaving work yesterday, plotting in my mind how to accomplish three important details before returning to “work” at 6:30 pm, Power of a Moment by Chris Rice played on my car radio. (K-Love, 94.3FM)

And forever brushes up against a moment’s time Leaving impressions and drawing me into what really matters


You know the number of my days
 So come paint Your pictures on the canvas in my head
 And come write Your wisdom on my heart
 And teach me the power of a moment.
 The power of a moment. The power of a moment.

Those lyrics sum up well the meditation of my heart about who and what really matters. Today, may I make the most of the moments He gives me because He matters.