KINDNESS: DEMENTIA'S BEST RX!

God's word gives us truth that guides our lives.....from birth until we meet our Savior in eternity. Sometimes He also allows struggles that we can learn from, especially in different season's of life. With four friends in Memory Care facilities this last year alone, I've seen the positive effects from those who have an understanding spouse walking alongside them at every step.

A recent "prequel" book I read, had me at the "dedication" & I kept reading.  

This book is dedicated to every one living with dementia, 

and to those who care for them.

As I began reading, I appreciated the background of the years of marriage which laid the groundwork of their long past. It rang out to me that all of us have things about our past that always live within. I know in my own life that I can remember lots from my past. As a twosome we can often finish one another's sentences or help recall a person's name, or a place or event. Often that helps if it is done in a quiet gentle way. However, the age-related ? short- term memory is suffering greatly. Even chatting can take its toll if one forgets where certain ideas are going. Many twosomes might have the same difficulties. As author Joe Siple said, "We don't have to have dementia to forget things." (p. 96) To me, it's the response to those lapses by a loved-one that brings tension.

My take away from the author's concepts of kindness toward dementia in this novel: Agreeing is more effective than challenging or "discounting with a deep belittling sigh of a "not again response"; Apologizing can be restorative if sincere; Allow the love through the years to be remembered and put the good of your loved one, regardless of mental or physical condition, before self.  

He who loves his wife, loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, ESV)

Being kind to each other is the best response, dementia or not.

TRANSITIONS

3/27/11

A life in flux. Just like the ever changing weather lately----the storms and dreary days with lower temps just keep rolling in and out. My closet reflects those transitions.

A life in flux, indeed. That phrase sums up these last 18 days. I’ve transitioned from a gal who loaded her pill box with just 3 hormones per week plus vitamins and calcium to the “old people box” of real drugs and an aspirin per day. (3/9-3/25)

My role of a daughter of a physically healthy 89 year old dad was changed (3/13) when he became a recovering stroke victim with both increased memory loss & cognitive decline along with speech and physical impairment. With Larry’s mom, (Mommar), I transitioned emotionally from “experiencing” her dementia/Alzheimer's life to the sudden diagnosis (3/16) of metastasized cancer with the anticipation of much pain and required hospice.

Even abrupt changes in “roles” were evident this weekend; daughter/therapist for Daddy at a rehab center in Nashville, daughter-in-law encourager for Larry’s mom who just didn’t want to get out of bed, grandmother (aka Shug) for Owen as we shared the experience of Madagascar Live!

Flux. Change. Times of transition. Whatever the nomenclature, it is my life. I have been both anxious and discouraged.

But God……..

“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held” is the transition chorus that was sung at church today between the lyrics of “Day after Day” and the old hymn “It is Well With My Soul.”

Day after day our God is reigning


He’s never shaken,

my hope is in the Lord


Time after time our God is faithful


Trustworthy Savior,

my hope is in the Lord.

---“It is well. It is well, through the storm I am held.”

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

What a great “life” transition reminder for me---“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held.” (Although maybe storm should be plural.)