CARTOGRAPHERS OF THE OLD FASHION VARIETY

7/12/10………okay, I’m not a map maker but I am a map lover. Hubby Larry thinks my affinity for maps is a little over the top. I love maps and atlases. They offer so many possibilities. Even at our Christmas “bag game” parties, if there’s an updated atlas in the mix, I’m right in there, (usually with the men) jockeying for that ultimate prize.

During past travels in the English countryside, the first place I would go would be the TI. (Tourist Information Center) A wealth of brochures with area maps---right up my alley. US roadside Welcome Centers are a must for me when traveling stateside. Texas has BIG ones. Mississippi has hospitable ones----they serve coke with a smile and a syrupy Southern accent. This summer the Tennessee facility had, along with clean restrooms, a 2010 map!! Yea---first “new” map in two years that I’ve found. Plus, TN must realize that “Baby Boomers” are the only folks using maps anymore because the 2010 publication is like a "large print" edition.

This past weekend, Michèle found us using her recent eBay purchase of a Garmin. It just stuck on her windshield. She said it talked her through the trip down from Canada. Larry told her he had his own GPS and he stuck “her” in the front seat (shotgun position) right beside him---usually with an open atlas, road map or MapQuest sheet in her lap. His GPS also “talked” the entire trip. (Not true----said GPS also naps, once on a familiar course.)

Hubby also asked Michèle if her Garmin called her stupid if she got off-course. Stupid is the “S” word at our house & not allowed. She said the GPS word for “stupid” was “recalculating.”
Recalculating (or Plan B) is always necessary for this GPS woman---it allows for new paths, byways and, as yet, undiscovered back roads. With a “local’s” suggestion, rather that a detailed topographical map, we found a great scenic road when coming home from Doris and Tom’s Full Circle Ranch in Lewisburg, TN---a road less traveled by others and one never traveled before by us. One just needs to be open to possibilities----

It’s Monday and we have several options/possibilities for meditating on God’s word. Choose the one that fits the road you are on today. Allow Him to be your GPS.

• This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. (Isaiah 48:17)

• The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. (Psalm 37:23)

• The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

With the Lord there are infinite possibilities.

Fireworks Revisited

7/11/10 Last night grandson, Owen, “called” us from the Redbirds game to tell us that he was seeing BIG fireworks and that people kept saying ooh and ahh. I was a little surprised that the noise didn’t scare him but he was saying, “Look.” (We actually could see a little--thanks to the cell phone pic that arrived.) Then we heard Owen oohing and ahhing.
Tonight he called from his B.B. and Poppy’s house because he was getting to see more fireworks---really loud ones too. What joy in his voice as his dad and granddad and Memphis neighbor, Derrick, offered fireworks just for Owen. It was obvious that they delighted in delighting him.

Last Thursday, Jesus Calling mentioned fireworks. “When your Joy in Me meets My Joy in you, there are fireworks of heavenly ecstasy.” This weekend I think the Lord was oohing and aahing as He heard us (Michèle and Dotsy) joyfully celebrating seeing each other. Our joy is a result that comes from all we have in Him---a true fellowship of two believers on the same side of a MAC struggle. Celebrating life & turned toward Him.
That’s like double ecstasy---really loud oohing and aahing coming forth. Real fireworks----that will continue throughout eternity!! Heavenly ecstasy!!

Excerpts of Encouragement

7/8/10 Leaving soon for Hoptown to spend a couple of days with Daddy and then on to Nashville to meet up with Michèle. Ah-h-h, Michèle---my encourager extraordinaire. What a mentor! What an example of ministering to others.
Here’s a peek at some of her “notes” that encouraged me without sugarcoating my diagnosis----she knew what I would be facing and was willing to share her experiences.

From first e-mail
Know that you are supported by this stranger who has stood where you stand and made it through to the other side.

2nd note---Throughout this McJourney, I have known a peace that simply cannot be explained in human terms. I know from reading your blog, Dotsy, that you have a special connection with your Maker and I know that will serve you well in the months and weeks ahead... He is NEVER far.

Please know that I am praying for you even as I write. (M taught me to do this)

1/23/09 I'm more than happy to walk this road with you ….I know there's no such thing as a benign response to the C-word...

1/24/09 I know the trauma, the physical ache, of this kind of thing--despite the strongest possible sense that God is near. But I've also reached the other side now and been able to look back and see the blessings, the GOLDEN linings that I might have missed ….. .I know that faith does not spare us entirely from the very real fears and nervousness that come from living in a fallen world with an ailing body. Those fears, those sleepless nights and moments of near-panic, are not a condemnation of our spirituality, they are the expression of our humanity.
And if we somehow manage to continue to live in hope and joy in spite of them, that's a validation of the God whose comfort surpasses our very limited understanding. (A-men to that, Michèle)

2/2/10 I want to encourage you--exhort you!--to allow at least a handful of those who love you to see the full scope of your emotional response to this devastating blow. Or if you'd rather vent to a relative stranger who would NEVER condemn you for honest emotions, you can do so to me too.

I've discovered that in moments of gravest need, God uses flesh-and-blood angels to soothe and comfort. The road of my McJourney has been paved with the stepping stones of kindred believers and gentle strangers, and I pray the same will be true for you. (Oh, how true that was for me---the “land of the living” my, willing to be used by God, flesh and blood angels have blessed me and mine beyond measure.)
I know that God is here… (and so do I!)

Michèle sharing her own journey was the greatest comfort for me----God was (is) here. It is His hand I've felt on my back, warmed by late-day sun. It is His peace in my mind, soothed and unraveled by His answer to my prayer. It is His promise in my chest, loosening the stranglehold, with every deep breath, of that oppressive opaque uneasiness. He was the faint light growing deeper; the warm colors of beginnings, not the heavy cold hues of endings.

Michèle THOTS---I’m not saying that it will be easy if Mac takes his worst possible course. But it will be okay....Because God has made promises that transcend our physical experience..... life is already—filled with ..... loving and being loved, and unfathomable serenity.

This morning when I read this year old note from Michèle, I realized the depth of truth that her words held.
Dotsy, every time I think about you I simultaneously feel a tightening in my chest for the journey still ahead and a surge of praise for the way God is going to walk with you at every turn in the unpredictable road that will lead to your healing. I'm sure you can't even imagine it the nearly-physical reality of His presence yet, but you'll experience it in a breathtaking way, even amid the pain and sadness and anger and depression the journey might entail. He'll be there. So powerfully and so comfortingly. You'll be amazed.

I was indeed amazed and blessed by my MAC journey/dance, just like Michèle said I would be. Her encouragement was a big part of that.

Last fall Michèle wrote on one of her gorgeous handmade photo notes:
I think of you daily and pray already for your October surgery. God has been so good to you.….and he isn’t going to stop now! I consider myself honored to stand with you in prayer & spirit & even more blessed to call you friend. With much love ---and already looking forward to our next encounter.

Our next encounter---wow it will this weekend. Isn’t God good!! Maybe I can, in someway, encourage her---because that’s the way it’s suppose to be.

So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith (Galatians 6:10)

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, (I Thessalonians 5:11)

Encouragement is a great way to “do good.”

Encouragement. Reciprocate, pass it forward---just do it. Strew your life’s path with excerpts of encouragement for others. You’ll be glad you did and so will they.

Unrealistic Expectations

7/7/10 Reality has a way of nudging, or sometimes shoving us away from cozy assumptions. Life can turn on a dime. Those cozy assumptions can fly out the window and we can be hit head on with reality that can be excruciating. My friend, Bernie, at age 17 was driving the car, when the wreck occurred that took her mother’s life. Laura Bush in her recent memoir, Spoken From the Heart, tells of running a stop sign at age 17 and striking another car that resulted in the death of Mike, a classmate/friend, from her high school. Over the years she has learned that tragedy is no respecter of persons & “if onlys” are fruitless.

Other turns might not be as tragic but they can certainly cause a seismic shift in our thinking. Cancer diagnosis, a spouse who just needs space so he/she walks out the door, needy aging parents, disappointment in children and their choices, downsizing, or just plain warn out with living in the frantic pace and global tragedies of 2010.

Maybe we just need to let go of the unrealistic expectation of ever living in a completely “fair, sane, just, and loving world.” (J. Viorst) It just isn’t going to happen, this side of heaven. To expect that is unrealistic. People will disappoint us. We need to take the stress/pressure off our loved ones by no longer “demanding” that they be perfect. We want them to meet our every expectation. But, suppose they don’t. It’s all that supposing that makes us miserable. Suppose our life turns on a dime tomorrow? I need to give it all up and just trust the Lord. How ‘bout you?

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace,

Because he trusts in You.
Trust in the LORD forever,

For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock. (Isa. 26:3-4)

GIGI GIFT revealed

7/6/10….I’ve gotten phone calls, emails, blog comments and face to face questions so I decided to “globally” answer the question, “What did Gigi give Josh and his bride as a wedding gift?”
Drum roll please----a sterling silver Francis the First pastry server. I think Mother (aka Gigi) figured it could be used in their home to serve the chocolate chess pie. (recipe included with

the gift) They actually used it in their wedding to cut the tiered wedding cake. Yes, I cried---couldn’t help it, especially since on a nearby table were engagement/wedding pictures of all the grandmothers. I’m not sure but I think maybe Mother’s winked or maybe that was just me blinking back the tears. (Gigi is third from left)

BTW, they also had a scrumptious caramel cake with sea salt for that sweet and salty taste that has become my flavor of choice. I had my first taste of sweet and salty caramel ice cream at the Shake Shack (Madison Sq Park at 23rd) on one of my first trips to NYC to visit Josh/Megan. Salted Caramel was on the Shack’s October custard calendar for Thursday, the night we arrived, so I lucked out.



Josh and Megan also provided “hot tea,” as well as coffee, to accompany their 3 cakes. You know how much this new mother-in-law appreciated both the “cuppa” and the thought.

The Gigi gift that Josh and Megan unwrapped was indeed shiny and beautiful, though not terribly expensive. The real gift was Gigi’s heart, wrapped in Gigi’s love. It revealed how special her grandson was to her----and that’s priceless.

Obligations

7/5/10 Have you been there, done that and survived? In the area of suffering have you not only survived but thrived? Then, you need to pass it on!

Last year, Michèle did just that for me, first in an e-mail and then more fully in a blog with great pictures that enhanced the analogy.

But the gist is this---“the responsibility we have, as survivors, ….stand at the top and call down to those still struggling to the summit. Whether they’re emotional, physical, or spiritual, the mountains we’ve conquered are not ours to own, but ours to share. We might not always want to revisit the pain we’ve suffered or the crippling we’ve endured, but if we don’t offer them to others as a testimony of God’s sustenance and love, our fellow travelers may not have the courage to find their way to the top.”

Plus, it’s scriptural---so pass “it” on to others as Michèle has passed “it” on to me----what ever your “it” of comfort has been from the Lord as well as from those in the “land of the living.”

II Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who (comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

FIREWORKS

7/4/10 I don’t remember fireworks as a child----maybe Hoptown was too small to have a display. I remember as a young married shooting bottle rockets off of Pop’s dock at Pickwick and watching in horror as a sparkler melted down on top of brother Buddy’s hand, which he quickly doused in the lake water.
As an expectant mother I remember baby (Buddy) jumping in utero in response to the June 1970 “Memphis in May” fireworks. Years later, celebrating the 4th as a mother on Longreen, I would hold my kids back as the Lewis’ boys, aided by their dad, John, would set off cherry bombs and firecrackers and light Roman candles and those snakey things that turned into charcoal ash and smoked and others that whistled as they snaked down the street.

This year our street will be quiet. There are only 4 children on our Longreen now---2 teens, 1 toddler and an infant. No fireworks are anticipated. We won’t even be able to see fireworks from our “treetops” bedroom because Shelby Farms no longer has fireworks.

The quiet is okay with me---it would probably “rattle” Mommar anyway. But the reason for celebrating does not diminish for me—or for the folks at Hobby Lobby. Their full page ad in this morning’s Commercial Appeal said it well. “IN GOD WE TRUST.”

IT IS THE DUTY OF ALL NATIONS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROVIDENCE OF ALMIGHTY GOD, TO OBEY HIS WILL, TO BE GRATEFUL FOR HIS BENEFITS AND HUMBLY TO IMPLORE HIS PROTECTION AND FAVOR. (George Washington)

OUR CONSTITUTION WAS MADE ONLY FOR A MORAL AND RELIGIOUS PEOPLE. (John Adams)

WE’VE BEEN ASSURED IN THE SACRED WRITINGS THAT UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE, THEY LABOR IN VAIN WHO BUILD IT. (Benjamin Franklin)

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. (Psalm 33:12)

These words certainly light a “spark” in my heart.

Shucking corn……

7/2/10….snapping beans and shelling peas. Summertime must be here. Not so many years ago (or so it seems) I had every kid in the neighborhood sitting in a big plastic wading pool with a bushel of silver queen corn pulled fresh that morning at Gragg’s farm. They were shucking away. At the end of the event, everyone was hosed off to get rid of the “itchies” and the stray silks and then treated to popsicles----which resulted in more hosing off.

This year I just had sweet Mississippi yellow corn from Kroger---and only a 3 year old to help “peel” (Owen’s term) the corn so the process was a little slower---but still an adventure!
“Look Shug, we found it!” was Owen’s comment after shucking (peeling) his first ear and seeing the kernels of corn emerge.

Proverbs 17:6a says, “Grandchildren are the crown of old men”
I venture to say they are the crown of old women as well. This old woman certainly felt queenly today getting to discover anew the fun of summertime just by shucking corn with her grandson.

Michèle’s Morsels

7/1/10 One year ago yesterday, I met Michèle Phoenix stateside. The face-to-face / scar-to-scar meeting took place in Louisville, KY where my older brother Buddy lives. The timing, of her being there from Germany for a MI doc appointment, and me being there after a high school reunion weekend, was such a God-thing. Of course, the two of us (MAC victims) connecting at all, especially continents away, was miraculous in and of itself. Musing on all of this I as I read back through my journal, I realized that Michèle mentored me, albeit from afar, and it was her personal knowledge of the cancer and her spiritual grounding that God used to equip me to find joy in my journey.
My memorable morsels from Michèle:

• MAC (our cancer) is a gift we can embrace because it flows from God’s grace;
• Ceaselessly seek reasons to celebrate a life turned toward Him;
• Make note of kindnesses of strangers and the serendipitous occurrences that lend a ray of unexpectedness to your days;
• Acknowledge “Divine Winks;” (similar to my "glory bumps")
• Focus on God’s truths throughout your journey/dance;
• The Center of God’s will might not guarantee physical safety but it does offer utter fulfillment, purpose, comfort and peace;
• We are to each other a priceless gift from a tangible and intimately present God;
• Be a galvanizing inspirer and come to the rescue of others by using your first hand experiences to serve an eternal and invaluable purpose; (A-MEN!)
• In your “new normal” (cancer victim), continue to seek and lean on the One whose love redeems your pain;

Some of these morsels are found in her beautiful book, Postcards from the Waters Edge, which she shared with me early on in my cancer journey. It’s a book that continues to minister to me and one I can share with others who are now in the midst of their own cancer struggle.
http://michelephoenix.com/postcards-from-the-waters-edge/

One week from tomorrow in Nashville, TN where my younger brother, Bobby & his wife now have a condo (near their grands) Michèle and I will meet again. Such another God-thing!

Roller Coaster Emotions

6/28/10 You’d think I’d been riding the cyclone at Coney Island, if you could feel all the emotions that are flowing through my body. Gratitude. Joy, inexpressible. Sorrow---as I watched family depart. Happiness. Sadness---b/c of knowing times spent with loved ones, who live far away, is so rare. Fatigue---energy is spent from having so much fun (even in the midst of logistical nightmares) and so little sleep.

Because of “so much felt” and so little energy with which to express it, I almost didn’t “post” tonight. But God…..has reminded me, through today’s God Calling entry, that this past week it was He who “prepared a table of delights, a feast of all good things” for me and my family. It is because of Him that my life is flooded through with Joy and Gladness, even though I’m pooped.

Even in the midst of the fatigue, I can “feel” all these emotions from the “very depth of (my) heart” because of His continuing goodness and mercy. Rather than being turned upside down as I ride this rollercoaster of emotions, I am overflowing with gratitude because they are all a result of the family He has given me.
Therefore I’m posting this verse for consideration on this “Meditating Monday.”

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:6)

…..even when I feel like I’ve just stepped off a rollercoaster.