Midnight Meditation………

3/15/10…………..I thought it would be “late” before I had a chance to post but Larry and “Tom and Jerry” on DVD are keeping the Texans occupied while the pork tenderloin cooks on the grill.
Larry and I are loving every minute of having 4 boys, age 8 and under, all to ourselves, but……it takes energy. It reminds me of all that young moms do each day---such a worthy work----but it is work! So….this Monday’s meditation is to encourage young moms and old grandmoms who are babysitting---not only in the moment but especially for all the times ahead. Who needs a clean house anyway---oxen (Texans) are more fun and much is gained from them and their energy---enough to strengthen our souls for years to come.

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. (Proverbs 14:4)

A “GIANT” Cup of Tea

3/13/10 My natural body rhythms seem to be at “peak” in the morning. Even at that, I usually have a “cuppa” to get me going. George Orwell says, “All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes.” A good warm caffeinated** “cuppa” and God’s word. Both stimulate and refresh my soul.

Sipping and savoring. Because of my MAC cancer surgery, I’m actually still sipping through a straw. Somehow the ritual of sipping tea loses some of its bliss when slurping it down through a plastic straw. Plus, the lips aren’t there to warn one of the impending temperature. This morning, I decided to take the plunge and sip my tea sans straw. Not exactly pretty. A little dribble, a little drool, a little drip. Intake began on the left side of my mouth as I tilted my head---then slurping sounds as I veered the steamy liquid to the right side of my mouth where I could no longer feel it. Oh so much more to savor----with a straw it seems to pass the taste buds and go straight down the throat. Eventually I felt drips on my chin and even saw a few that had “appeared” on my nightshirt. Probably won’t be sipping in public for a while longer but the endeavor was commemorated with a few pirouettes in front of the loveseat at Buddy & Day’s. Progress---that’s what I felt as I faced this challenge. Just a little obstacle, but one that felt like a giant. It was robbing me of one of the joys of my life. My friend, Tricia, told me I’m too hard on myself so I’m giving myself a break---that’s why I’m celebrating these small steps toward my much bigger goal.

We all have “giants” to face. Even sipping (slurping) a cup of tea, or at least the embarrassment that comes with it, can loom large in one’s psyche. At this juncture in my life, the aesthetic pleasure of tea drinking is something I don’t want to give up. Help me face down my giant. Celebrate with me over a cup of tea.

**Sorry Dr. Albritton---One of the advantages of surviving cancer is realizing that some things are crucial in life---some people eat extra scoops of ice cream, I indulge with caffeinated tea in the morning.

Shoulda-woulda-coulda……..

3/11/10 .....Larry’s favorite saying about my rearview mirror perspective of life. I have a tendency to second-guess every thing I do. I really have a big “if only” problem called disappointment. Ex. I should have bought those silver spoons in Rome---I’ll never have another chance. Sometimes I can backtrack, with Larry’s prodding, but not always. Regrets. Life can be full of them, from chances missed to miscues in relationships.

Today, as I begin “MAC-tracking” (retracing my MAC cancer event from diagnosis to multiple surgeries and healing) of last year, I realize I have no regrets. None. There’s nothing that I “shoulda” done or “woulda” done or “coulda” done differently. Why? It was out of my hands. What mercy, what grace, what relief, what unadulterated joy there is in that!

I’m in Texas meeting with doctors---hopefully for the last time. Should I have opted for two more surgeries, could the clear margins have been a mistake, would I change anything? All done deals. Moot points---not relevant in God’s plan for me. Everything was bathed in prayer even before the original diagnosis. So…..no regrets.

These past 12 months have been a blessing---my meager vocabulary cannot begin to express my heart. This week as I’ve been preparing to return, I’ve felt filled with emotion almost to the point of tears. I felt as if I were going home. I’ve already hugged the little Texans as they headed out the door to school. Later, I’ll visit doctors; I’ll drive by the hospital; I’ll see Mary Flo. So why these deep intense feelings? Claudia Parlow says she and Terry feel it every time they return to Shepherd Center. Her answer, “The feelings come because that’s where you met God face to face.”

As Thomas Purifoy said about his marriage and his time with his wife, Susan even as she suffered and died with cancer, “No Regrets, Mate.” I concur----there are “no regrets” when you’re right smack dab in the middle of God’s will for your life!

"MO" TEA but "SLO" TEA

3/10/10 Yesterday, I had a real sinking spell in the wet, drizzly afternoon and just wanted to crawl under a heap of quilts with a cup of hot tea and a good book----finishing the last chapters of Without Reservations, travels of an independent woman. I love what C. S. Lewis said about that. “You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.” My kind of man----at least, my kind of thoughts.

The aforementioned activity would have lead to a nap----another of my favorite activities though not advisable when my work life necessitates an 8:30 bedtime. I knew that it was time to pull in for a spiritual teatime for needed rejuvenation though it couldn’t be one with caffeine or then I’d have trouble sleeping later. So many restrictions for this “scheduled” woman.

In "The Portrait of a Lady," poet Henry James said, "There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.” I agree but I didn’t have energy for creating “ambiance”---I just needed a lift. Sotto voice sermons wouldn’t work nor would hymns of old---I needed to crank up something more along the lines of “Stayin’ Alive” to help me stay awake.

I tried watching Jeopardy---that’s actually a “thrill” for me. That was a positive action because they had a “Dance” category and I was able to answer them all----even the $1,000 one. Actually, they were so easy, any one over 50 could have answered them. Still made me feel good---but that only lasts 30 minutes.

I finally got off the couch, brewed a cup of Typhoo decaf, (“slo” tea) located my iPodTouch and opened up my “Dance” playlist. And I was off (to dance and pack for Texas).………still having trouble keeping those earbuds in my “bum” ear, but I had it loud enough that it didn’t matter. Soon there was a real cacophony at 1152 as I “sang” (that’s using the term loosely) with Chris Rice. Did I read scripture? No. Did I pray? No, not conventionally anyway. Was it spiritual? Yes.

O, and when the love spills over,
And music fills the night, (my late afternoon)
And when you can't contain you joy inside... then

Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus and live

……….or in my case. “Dance with Jesus and stay awake.”

Sunlight + Sonlight = Warmth

3/9/10 Morning light is coming sooner these days. Oh, I still dress in the dark but when I arrive at work at 5:45 there is that hint of sunrise. It can just warm me all over. It gives me that glimmer of hope.

In the early morning darkness, it helps if someone else is there to walk alongside or to lead especially if they’ve walked this way many times in the past. During these past dark, dreary winter months, especially when our lone parking lot light wasn’t working, I've had to fumble for my belongings (you know what bag ladies teachers can be!) and stumble toward the entry.

Have you ever stumbled in the dark? What is it about darkness?

Maybe a better question would be, “What is it about the light?” It exposes all those bumps on our path and clearly shows the way to our destination. Sometimes just a small light can help---that’s why I keep a flashlight in my purse and by my bed. All “just in case” kind of gals do that, I think. Light helps to determine direction while waiting for the sunrise.

God’s word continues to be a “lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” as it says in Psalm 119: 105. That lamp shines for the steps I need to take today---those that are right in front of me. That light illuminates the entire path that is before me---my spiritual journey. It’s the light that keeps me from stumbling in the darkness of self. It’s the Sonlight that warms me and gives me hope.

God’s Love = Undaunted Radiance = aglow with the Spirit

3/8/10 Yesterday’s My Utmost for His Highest entry was all about the love of God---a love freely given and not earned. A love that gives us power and radiance ---power to conquer all of the circumstances life seems to throw our way........

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. (Romans 8:37)

.......and radiance. Even the Edges of His Ways entry this past week dealt with “radiance.”
Paul says this (indwelling love) is why we are, “super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us. …..Apply that to our own circumstances……tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. 'I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation,' says Paul. Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter.”
Undaunted radiance---a phrase to hang your hat on or sink your teeth into---a fearless, unperturbed acceptance of all that life in a fallen world sends our way while emboldening us with joie de vivre, vitality or spring in our step. I once used a Revlon make-up called Vital Radiance---marketed to women over 50. Maybe the company thought that a more mature woman needed a little sparkle to help her glow. A spiritually mature woman already has a glow. It comes from obedience in serving the Lord. Years ago, Mrs. Wheaton Ennis, (Dink) a mature believer from Highland Heights Presbyterian Church, exhibited that as she lived out Romans 12:11 “not flagging in zeal, aglow with the spirit, serving the Lord.” (RSV)
Because of her, I memorized that verse. Today it’s your turn.

Mo Lips---

3/7/10 ….no “mo” lips’ stories. I’ve learned my lesson.
Have you ever made a serious sensitivity faux pas? Recently Larry and I (under duress) had our picture made for the church directory. It was relatively painless except Larry said I needed to relax so I wouldn’t look constipated. You get the idea of the trauma I was under.

After our couple pose, the photographer wanted to do a single shot of me. I, (with my"cancer mouth" surgery scars) less than graciously, declined.  To make matters worse, we then went back out to the “holding” area to wait a turn to preview the pix. I and my big mouth (1/2 of it is big, anyway) preceded to announce that I declined to take the individual shot. “Why would anyone want a single picture of this old lady?” I asked in a somewhat deprecating manner. I guess I could use it as a coffin picture I jokingly said. Then I looked across the aisle at a precious, godly widow who no longer had someone to join her in her photo. I wanted to crawl under the chair. Where was my sensitivity? This world doesn’t revolve around my face and my surgeries---a mind’s eye photo of self-preoccupation loomed large and ugly.

That emotional shock really came home to me last week as I received the 8x10 picture in the mail. (At first, it loomed large and ugly to me.) I even saw Larry wince as he looked at it. But, it’s not about my semi-incorrectly aligned mouth any more. It’s about gratitude. I’m grateful that I don’t need a coffin picture yet. I’m grateful that God forgave my insensitivity faux pas. I’m grateful for life lessons taught by a loving God and embraced by a forgiving widow.

A Wednesday Disclaimer---(on Saturday, no less)

3/6/10 Comment from last Wednesday’s “confession” blog created some illusions about my “ease” and immediate actions in turning things over to God. Truth be known, said actions and the ensuing answers don’t always come quickly---I mull and stew and pray sometimes for days and then…answers come....and then… I write a blog---there are no “Presto” answers in my life. Well, technically the answers are there---it just takes me a while to get to them---sometimes a long while. But God……(and His truth) is always there. I’m the one who often has to relearn an old lesson. Here’s some additional truth I’ve learned about lips---actually, same truths, new version for easy reading.

How can a young person (or old like me) live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your Word. I'm single-minded in pursuit of you; don't let me miss the road signs you've posted. I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart so I won't sin myself bankrupt. Be blessed, God; train me in your ways of wise living. I'll transfer to my lips all the counsel that comes from your mouth; I delight far more in what you tell me about living than in gathering a pile of riches. I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you, I attentively watch how you've done it. I relish everything you've told me of life, I won't forget a word of it.

(Psalm 119:9, The Message)

Let my cry come right into your presence, God; provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word. Give my request your personal attention, rescue me on the terms of your promise. Let praise cascade off my lips; after all, you've taught me the truth about life! And let your promises ring from my tongue; every order you've given is right. Put your hand out and steady me since I've chosen to live by your counsel. I'm homesick, God, for your salvation; I love it when you show yourself! Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well, use your decrees to put iron in my soul. And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me! I'll recognize the sound of your voice.

(Psalm 119:69, The Message)

Praying today for self and readers that “praise will cascade off my (our) lips.

Beyond Social Networking

3/5/10
Did you ever wonder what a “Facebook” page for God would look like? Would you accept if He asked you to be his friend? What would you write on His wall? Would you want others to see what He might right on your wall?

Not being much of a social networker, I’m not exactly qualified to blog about this relatively new, but exploding, phenomenon. I know from the tech-savvy teens at HHS that there are lots of ways to connect with others. These digital natives, who are always plugged in or logged on, can at the same time be virtually tuned out---disconnected. Connected only in a in a virtual sense, as I indicated in a previous blog.

I don’t have a twitter account so I never have occasion to tweet. Yet, these kids have already advanced to complimenting each other by retweeting. If I were on twitter with God, He would read all my “tweets” ----even the harried ones of seemingly insignificant details like, “what can I fix for supper?” to “where can I park?” He would also read my text messages but texting takes me way too long. It’s hard to pour out my heart on a miniscule phone keyboard. Prayer is the best instant messaging I have.

Whatever you want to talk about is out there in cyberspace---a global conversation just waiting for you to chime in, especially with like-minded folks, those others who share your passions Virtual (not actual/hypothetical) connections are surface level at best----rarely going beyond “chit-chat” in the relational realm. Whatever you need to talk to God about is also okay. He's interested. He's waiting. He shares your passions but He goes deeper.

Winnie the Pooh says, “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

Maybe we need to really go, not virtually go---you know, face to face, not facebook to facebook. Can you go in person today to “link up” with someone in need---in need of an “atta boy” or an “atta girl” or “you can do it” or just in need of you being there with a listening ear.

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Check your Connections

3/4/10 Have you ever lost connections…….lost service when trying to Twitter……lost a Skype connection in a thunderstorm….lost a signal when texting on your iPhone or mapquesting on your iPod Touch…..lost e-mails on your computer when the server went down…..or lost documents when your hard drive crashed?

The first rule of thumb is to always check your connections. Nowadays some of those connections are no longer tangible like a plug in a socket or a USB port. Reestablishing a connection can be a hassle. Teenagers who are disconnected, even momentarily, often act as if it’s the end of the world.

Mankind is driven to connect. It’s our way of filling that empty space in our lives. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) called it a ”God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God....”

Are you trying to fill this void through “virtual” connections? Do you spend vast amounts of time “on-line” in some form or another or with your cell phone glued to your ear? Granted, interaction and dialogue can be attained in a nanosecond…..but these virtual connections can only go so far and can disconnect without warning. We can connect with the Lord just as quickly and that connection is always open as long as we keep a clean heart. Do you need to check your connections? Do you need to reconnect with God? No electronic attachments or cyber service needed. Connect with Him at anytime. How ‘bout today?

The LORD hears when I call to Him. (Psalm 4:3b)

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3)