FAREWELL TO A FRIEND.....

Farewell.....for now. Too many tears to type at the moment....but I will return when I can fully honor her!! 

I feel as If I have lost a part of myself. 

Tuesday Truths. 24 hours since I heard the news. A roller coaster of emotions. A "walking in fog" of sorts. "Sadness and joy all mixed together" as one of her sons recounted. 

May I not forget truth and become overwhelmed by my sorrow. Sorrow is not the only reality there is. 

God's word in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds us that there is a time and a season for everything. Grief is one of those seasons. This time yesterday I began such a season when I learned of Ann's passing.

"A time to keep silent." (Ecclesiastes 3:7) I knew my inner spring would come from solitude. Time with the Lord and in His word. Time to drink it in. 

Joy is hidden in sorrow. (Henri Nouwen, my Bible marginalia) I need to remember truth and not be overwhelmed by my own sorrow. May my sadness be fertile ground for truth of God's ever presence. His strength. His consolation. 

May I not lose sight of the joy of the Lord because I have lost her. God Himself used Ann so many times in my own life to see His goodness. (Psalm 27:13) Today may the LORD loose my sackcloth and clothe me with gladness. Turn my mourning into dancing once again. (Psalm 30:11, paraphrased) 

There is a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4) This is such a time. 

Lord, I ask You to be my choreographer once again as this unique dance of loss has me stumbling. (Psalm 37:24) I know you hold me because you now hold Ann. She has been a friend who has loved me well at all times. So....I must sing your praise (even if off key) and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever (Psalm 30:12).........for my deep and abiding friendship with Ann.

Annabelle, Mamaw, Mommabelle, Mrs. Martin. 

Ann----my mentor, my Proffitt's shopping guide for funeral attire, my grandson's school supporter, my water aerobics pal, my scrabble hero, my New Year's Eve game winner, my favorite cook, my tea brewer, my sidekick, my travel chum and my dear, dear dog-loving friend for 20+ years!

Thx Ethel, an angel of a caregiver, for this pic!

Oct. 2,  I was with Ann as she had her lunch. (It would be the last "real" conversation I had with her as COVID complications sent her to the hospital in the wee hours the next morning.) 

As she ate her dessert, her fave part of any meal, I told her it was "her" Dotsy behind the mask and when I pulled it back for her peek, she said, "No it's not! It's an angel." I'll take that. 

We all need to be angels for each other. She certainly has been there for me.

A fond farewell to Ann today. Farewell filled with sweet memories knowing she is with the LORD!

Seasonal Meditation

7/22/13

"To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven.

....a time to be silent and a time to speak,.....a time to weep and a time to laugh,...a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 7, and 4)

All of those emotions are real. All are valid responses to both the blessings and the seeming curve balls which life throws our way. Life isn't always one or the other----sometimes I can burst out laughing right after a good cry. 

But sometimes I have to let grief run it's course. Right now I'm dealing with the pain of watching dear friends struggle with disappointments---both in relationships and in disappointing biopsies.  I'm silent because I'm not sure what to say. I try not to let the circumstances touch me, at least not while I'm with them. I'm mourning for them. I'm not ready to dance. But God.....has said there is a time.....and I need to trust His timing. 

As Laura Story sings, 'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?'

God's Word, song lyrics and an African (Zimbbwe) proverb are all "food for thought" on this Monday of seasonal meditation.

BROTHERLY ADVICE

8/15/12 The following is advice from my older brother, Buddy, in his email reply to my yesterday’s “Prioritizing” blog entry. Dictionary.com defines advice as an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc

Just a few thoughts:

Your life is none of your business; quit trying to run it.

Maybe you need less Mildred (our Mother) and more Brud (our Dad)?

There's a plan for you and you know more than most Who developed it.

Jesus took a lot of time off just to refresh.

Your expectations for Dotsy seem too high; you will be constantly disappointed.

Don't forget to love yourself.

Let go and let God lead you where He wants you to go.

All of these thoughts come to you from a brother who has learned these the hard way.

With Love and Kindness,

Bro Buddy

 Mackinac storefront reminder that there is a season to be still and listen.
 "Be still and know that I am God" (psalm 46;10)

I like the usage sentence after the definition. : I shall act on your advice.

This might be, for me,  a season to be silent and listen to some brotherly advice.