Memorial Day……….

5/31/10 ……is a day to remember our veterans who died while in military service. It also has a way of reminding me of the veterans in my family who, though not killed in battle, still bear the scars of their service. This morning’s Commercial Appeal noted that over 900 WWII vets die every day in our nation. My daddy, a WWII recipient of the purple heart, says, he’s “grateful for everyday the good Lord gives him.” Larry’s dad, too, was a WWII vet but he entered ICU last year for the final time, as others marked Memorial Day honoring our fallen soldiers.
Both men showed courage and patriotism as they left for battle leaving young brides behind. Both men believed that freedom was worth dying for and both men are on my heart today.
I’ll call Daddy to say hello to my favorite vet and accompany Larry to the cemetery to place a flag at his dad’s grave. Both actions are a way to honor them.

Ephesians 6:2a says, “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER…. “

Weekend Wanderings

5/26/10…..or more like “weekend whirl wind.” I will be off-line because we will be heading to Houston,TX at 3 a.m. tomorrow (11-12 hr. trip) and returning Sunday. Thank goodness Charlie Mazzone is riding with us and is willing to help with the driving. We’re going for Larry’s induction into the USA Racquetball Hall of Fame. A time of celebration. A time to connect with “old” racquetball buddies. A time for me to recall words like splat, pinch in the corner, rollouts, “z” serves, avoidable hinders, etc. A time to view “donuts” left on the bodies of the players who have been hit by that speeding little blue ball. (Larry says nowadays r'balls are purple and red.)
A time to recall “the last time I saw you” memories. A time to nosh on Larry’s much loved Mexican dishes---if that favorite restaurant is still there and if he and Aubrey and Charlie can still find it. A time for Larry to reconnect with his favorite coconut custard pie at the House of Pies.

This is Larry’s time---To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: (Ecclesiastes 3)
a time to build up; (others coming along in the sport)
a time to laugh; (there will be lots of that as stories of the old days flow)
a time to dance; (celebration always calls for dancing for us)
a time to embrace, (as we all exclaim, “you haven’t changed a bit.”)
a time to get, (honor for a job well-done)
a time to keep, (in his memory)
a time to speak; (as he accepts a recognition, much deserved)
A time to love, (and remember the sport that has been such a big part of his life since 1975)

A great time for a whirlwind trip down memory lane.

Living a life of abunDANCE in the midst of…..

5/26/10……..was the “talk” that I gave April 20,2010 ---sharing the blessing of my cancer journey. It was a talk to encourage others to learn to D. A. N. C. E. in the midst of whatever struggle they find themselves. 

In a way it was also a big thank you to all who so ministered to me along the way. Had it not been for you and others in the land of the living, I would have despaired. (Psalm 27)
Several folks have asked how to “listen” to my talk. It is now on-line. I have not listened to it but several people last week told me that they could access it.

If you click on the link below, it will take you to the podcasts. When you get to that site, Women’s Ministry Podcast should be visible with the title, date my name etc. You can click the right arrow to begin listening or download to your computer to listen later. There is a mission report in the first part so you can skip to the “talk” by moving the cursor along the “playing line” to about 14:00 for the intro. Let me know if these directions work, or not.

http://www.firstevan.com/podcast/

I hope you “dance.”

ONUS…….

5/24/10….is synonymous with responsibility, burden, obligation and duty. These synonyms/words whir in my head---when I blame myself as I succumb once again to the tyranny of the urgent. I tend to take all responsibilities seriously, even if they aren’t solely mine.

Bearing an onus for the wrong reasons----like seeking recognition or for the approval of others---is self-inflicted misery. There will never be enough rewards or pats on the back to endure that kind of burden. It’s just wearisome. Bearing an onus alone is cumbersome and tiresome as well.

When the onus….is “on us”---just us, it’s a burden indeed. The “good news” is, just that, good news. Scripture tells us that we have a burden bearer. We can come to Him daily with our burdens of concern. We just have to approach Him and allow Him to bear our burdens. Then He gives us rest. What an exchange! As we then take His yoke that is “lined with love,” (Matthew Henry) we find ease and deliverance from, the often fruitless, cares/burdens of the world.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28)

DREAD is not dead………….

5/23/10………..”it’s” still living in my head. I use the gender-neutral pronoun, it, because I’m not sure how else to classify a monster. I have this “dread” monster in my life. Just ask Larry. Sometimes it’s hard to keep “it” at bay especially when stressed or extremely tired---both together become one gigantic joy robber. My head actually feels full and heavy as if it could explode---too tired to even think clearly. That could be a result of my ebbing "end of the school year" energy.
I haven’t even quite closed out of school yet and already I’m overwhelmed by all the “undones” of the summer schedule. Why can’t I embrace the joy of time off for family and friends? Where is the joyful anticipation? Larry’s celebration/honor, 2 destination “family” weddings, trips with friends, art camp and birthday parties at 1152. I think I’m still that Mother Duck that Dr. Stenberg dubbed me---the one situated on the placid water "who is actually paddling like hell underneath to keep all her “ducks” afloat."

Why would I have any feelings of dread about a summer so full and glorious? I am actually fearful, as I “look down the road” of getting it all done----done in a timely manner and done “right”---which to me translates to perfect, which I know is impossible. I just want to do all things for all people and not disappoint. I feel so incapable.

Hmmm……….”looking down the road.” I know better. “What if’s” are a major character trait of DM. (dread monster) Looking down the road instead of looking up----wrong focal point, Dotsy.

I need to allow His power to strengthen me and work within me.
I need to quit resurrecting the dread!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, (Ephesians 3:20)

She who reads………

5/20/10….that’s what my night shirt says. I love that nightshirt. It was a gift from a dear bud. I had seen it in a book shop (imagine that) in Mount Dora when visiting the Henizes. I was just too “cheap” to buy it for myself. Is that a kind of ascetic self-denial or some sort of flagellation for frugal folk?
Later, JoLynn visited Aunt Marge and Uncle Larry and bought that very nightshirt for me---unbeknownst to her, the one I had so wanted. What a gift.
Other indicators also dub me as a reader.

• “So many books—So little time “ sweatshirt gift from Nancy S.
• 4 books going at once
• audio books accompanying my drive to work each morning
• wooden card catalog cabinet as furniture
• stacks of books here there and everywhere---even by the tub
• considering Borders Bookstore a great destination for date night
• making detours on road tips to visit libraries
• souvenir bookmarks
• a trip highlight = viewing AA Milne, “Winnie the Pooh” manuscript
• holding books and the smell of old leather books = delight for me---thus WRD (wireless reading devices) like a Kindle or Sony E-Reader, don’t appeal to me.

I love to be read to as well. That’s why I have CDs of audio books stacked on the passenger seat and floorboard of my “old lady Cadillac.”

One year, Larry took on the project of reading the Bible aloud to me from Genesis to Revelation. He knows I am a “hopscotcher” when it comes to reading the Bible, hopping here and there but usually returning over and over to favorite passages---where I put down both feet and rest. Thus, I had never personally read the Bible cover to cover. Still haven’t, but now I’ve had it read aloud to me and what a treat that was.

When we visit Larry and Marge in the mountains, one of our favorite parts is when “Uncle” Larry reads aloud to us all as we sit around the table after dinner. An unforgettable experience.

Books and reading aloud have provided many memorable experiences in my life. Thus, I, as many librarians, envision heaven to be a lot like the Wren Library at Trinity College in Cambridge, England----tables with shaded lamps and revolving bookstands---God, the Head Librarian---the Word, Himself, would be there so all would be right with the world.

Yet, this pleasure which I love, can be tiresome---I feel compelled to finish every book I start (though doing a little better in this area) and can check out way too many books at once to finish in the week due date/time constraint, imposed by the library system, on newly published books. (My frugal budget doesn't include "fines.") Even my stack of devotional books can be overwhelming. Yet it’s so hard to resist the latest Sarah Young book published in that genre. Just like it can be beneficial to know what time it is---taking that to an obsession can wear on one’s nerves and be taxing emotionally, so can an obsession with books. It can even translate to the physical---ever lost sleep because you just couldn’t put the book down? I just want to be “she who reads” not she who obsesses about reading. Guess what, that’s scriptural!

But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body. The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. (Ecclesiastes 12:12-13)

Time compulsive……

5/18/10 …..not a very endearing term. Probably because it’s part of OCD behavior which, as we all know, is a mental disorder. But it’s one of those anxiety-producing flaws in my character that really comes forth when I’m stressed
.
Even when I’m not stressed, I think differently than others. For me, event arrival means reach your destination 5 minutes early. For my hubby it means depart for the event at the event starting time. When traveling, I usually wear my watch to bed and have a flashlight nearby so I can see time without disturbing others. Even my travel photos, have town clocks front and center. I especially love clock towers; they usually have the time on all 4 sides. Plus, these pix document my trip in a “timely” manner.

I am a somewhat judicious woman which can be a good thing but……time-compulsion carries that to an extreme. That’s not a good thing and often robs me of my joy! (Not to mention what it does to my nearest and dearest.)

So…..in order to make the most of my time with out it decimating me, I’ve decided to work on redeeming my time and quantifying it in God’s terms.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 is a good starting point. I especially like verse 4 because God’s word acknowledges that there is even “a time to dance.” I don’t see a time for anxiety or rushing---but I do see “a time for peace.” I think I need to set my clock by God’s time, not my time.

“He has made everything appropriate in its time”---I don’t think time-compulsion is appropriate.

Musing, not amusing, Monday

5/17/10
I was reminded by son Buddy’s church newsletter last week of how many of us today are abdicating our God-given roles. God has called some of us to be mothers, fathers, teachers, etc. But, he has called all of us to love. Love requires putting others before self. Love requires relationship. Relationship requires time as we intentionally engage in the lives of others.

“The majority of us have quit engaging in the life Christ has called us to and have pathetically resigned ourselves to simply "amusing ourselves to death"-DVRing and gaming our way through life. The word amusing when you break it down means: a, meaning "not" and musing meaning "thinking"...disengaged mentally and passive when it comes to being all-in on anything i.e. "checked-out." (B. Liles)

We’re just not thinking---at least, not about others. Who do you need to think about today? Ask God to put someone on your heart or in your path so that you can think about someone else’s needs and “engage” in their life in a meaningful way.

Now I ask you, lady, not as though I were writing to you a new commandment, but the one which we have had from the beginning, that we love one another. (2 John 1:5) (NASB)

Muse on that awhile, ladies. (and gents)

Big E, little e……..

5/14/10…………it sounds like the first line of a Dr. Seuss book. But it’s not! For us it’s all about antigens, antibodies, anemia, titer (concentration of antibodies), neonatalist and in utero transfusions.
Words foreign to our vocabulary until yesterday. Words that trigger the "fearful unknown."

I know this “trust” dance, I’ve done it before---just with different steps. This time it’s not just my dance---but it involves my children and their spouses (also my children) and grandchildren and that is a harder dance for me to learn.

This will not just be a “me and Thee” dance but more of a circle folk-type dance that will include both families, Diltz and Liles. We’re going to have to interlock arms, bow heads and be open to our “Cuer”---a term for a round dance caller. That’s the way one learns a round dance---just following the steps and the turns that come from the “cuer” ---soft though though his voice may be. It’s a step-by-step learning as the “cuer” creates dance sequences---because there are often no clear directions. The “cuer” gives the lead and new instructions when you’re ready for the next level. The “cuer” knows and therefore can define difficulty levels at which their dancers are dancing.

However, as a believer I have found that, regardless of the difficulty, my “trust” dances follow the same pattern, no matter how intricate and unfamiliar the steps. I just have to focus on the D.A.N.C.E.!
Discovering revelation from God’s word ---Romans 12:12 comes to mind that we all might be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction and fervent in prayer.” “rejoicing in hope, (hoping for the best---that Day’s levels remain at 1.8) faithful in affliction (for Day and baby Liles physically & all of us emotionally) and fervent in prayer” (oh how we covet prayers)
Accepting that these physical difficulties for both Day and the baby are out of our control and accepting God’s peace to cover our emotional pain
Noticing God’s hand in the provision of the early lab findings that deal with immunohematology, as well as availability of great medical facilities and doctors in Dallas area
Celebrating God’s faithfulness with Nathan’s early arrival, Noah’s nasal hemangioma where involution occurred on its own so no surgical interventions needed, Caleb’s 34 week delivery and ICU stay which in no way thwarted his mental or physical abilities and the monthly shots that prevented John Parker’s early arrival---also grateful he didn’t “arrive” in the middle of the parking lot, though he certainly cut it close. Remembering His faithfulness in the past helps me garner confidence for this new dance.

Extending hope to family and to others as we all begin this struggle of not knowing, coupled with continuing assessment of this medical situation

1 Cor 10:13, No test or temptation (trial) that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. (The Message)

I am praying that we all will be strengthened by the power of His might so that we will have patience and endurance during this hard time.(Colossians 1:11)

He is already there---ready for this “Big E shuffle” or whatever we dub this dance---

He already knows all those words. He knows the steps we need to take. For it is He who “created my (baby Liles) inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

Keys Conundrum

5/12/10 Do not read this if you are Larry or a “burglaring blog reader.”
Why do things always seem to go awry when Larry’s out of town. Maybe they do go awry a lot but he’s just always there to make ‘em better and quickly.
Late yesterday, after meeting friend, Ann, for a little exercise, the plan was to go to dinner and to her house to help acquaint her with her new iMac. Though in her 8th decade Ann’s sharp as a tack/tech savvy and still keeping up with computer changes. The problem was my car wouldn’t start. Initial diagnosis---dead battery. I had wondered what that “dinging” sound was when I went to get out of the car. It stopped when I closed door so I hadn’t worried. (You’re probably thinking the “dinging” sound was coming from my ding bat mind—and rightfully so.)

Eventually found a kind young man, now dubbed “angel Donnie” to boost me. The problem was we couldn’t find the battery connectors (or what ever those sticking up pos/neg things are that are either under the hood or in the trunk.

No cell phone ….but Ann had hers. Of course, Larry’s phone was off---golfers don’t like to be disturbed. Finally reached “go-to” car expert, Abe, who told me it was under the back seat. Who would have ever thought that---or planned it??? Certainly not a woman. He also explained how I would have to position myself so that I could push down with my feet at an angle against the seat as I pulled up with my hands. Hm-m-m. After a few tries it did work---the whole bloomin’ thing pulled out.

After boosting my old lady caddy, my rescuer suggested I go to Auto Zone for a free battery check. Did that---left car running while I went in---AZ doesn’t ck my kind of batteries---too hard to get to—sent me to Firestone---

Continuing saga synopsis:

• Car info said battery okay

• Kept car running at Ann’s gated community during computer time

• Drove home, turned car off (again per Larry’s instructions & w/ Abe on stand-by) Car restarted

• This morning--Leaving for work---no keys—having disassembled “regular” keychain during fiasco

• Find Larry’s key in key box---

• No house or work key---

• Ck storeroom for “hidden” door key before locking ---Knocked spare house key off into a black hole (probably went into 1 of 4 upright & full golf bags) & even a flashlight didn’t help locate

• Decided to just leave house unlocked----

• Walking in to work I “unloaded” on fellow librarian, Angie

• She suggested L’s keys might have house key---Wa-lah, they did (Duh)

• No work key, so she unlocked library for me---

• Larry called and I explained morning key trauma/unlocked house, etc--said I was grateful he left Cadillac key at home---

• He didn’t----had it in his hand----

Opps---those were my keys all along!!!!!!!!

Conundrum, indeed!

II Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”

Today I will have to pray that He will help my unbelief about my “sound mind.”