4-LETTER Words

1/7/11 Growing up in a home with a mother who could “drop” some bombshells of words, though never blasphemous, and a daddy whose vocabulary didn’t contain any 4-letter words, I clearly understood the difference. The flow of words from their mouths, whether LOUD & clear or soft and gentle, seemed to mirror their personalities. Mother, the verbal, was the more choleric/sanguine type and Daddy’s nature was more melancholy/phlegmatic combo. Establishing my own home as a parent, I knew that I wanted it to be free of 4-letter words—not that a “c---“ hasn’t been “dropped on occasion. In fact, the “S” word at our house was “shut-up” and was not allowed. We said “hush.”

Lately, I’ve realized that there is a 4-letter word in my own life.
If you can read Chinese, no need to read further---you’ve found me out.

It’s not a word I say out loud but a word that for me has all the negative connotations of an old-fashioned “cuss word” and I don’t like it. I don’t like it in my life’s vocabulary and yet it’s one God uses to teach me necessary life lessons. I know it’s a 4-letter word for me because my children see its manifestation in me through my impatience.

What’s the word you ask---WAIT until tomorrow’s blog and I’ll reveal it. Not really.

My struggle with waiting runs the gamut from the “rage” of everyday situations to the dramatic emotion of wanting to run ahead of God. IMPATIENCE is not pretty. Yet, we’ve all learned NOT to pray for patience because the life lessons that teach it are so difficult. So what now?

Internet friend, Carolyn O’s blog gave a worthy answer.

• Years ago I stopped praying for patience but instead now pray for the grace to wait on the Lord. That “re-arranged” prayer has radically changed my ability to wait. I now have HIS power and strength to wait for His perfect answers to my prayers and my cries for help. It has made all the difference in my ability to wait for His answers and to be able to see His hand at work throughout the process of bringing about His perfect will….. A HUGE difference! I used to say that “wait” is a four-letter word. Although wait still has only four letters in it, I’m learning to see that waiting is only tolerable through the power, strength, and grace of the Lord.

JANUARY--- Resolutions or Routines

1/6/11 Though I don’t really make resolutions for the New Year, I do notice a heightened awareness of my dietary concerns, especially my sugar intake. I also notice that there are lots of new people at 24 hr. fitness and realize they could be thinking the same thing about me.

So….without “documented resolutions,” I still know from my “routines” that it’s January when I----

• Open my new 2011 “At-A-Glance calendar (hubby’s perfect gift) and using my newly sharpened to a razor tip pencil, write in upcoming events on those pristine monthly pages
  
• Cut out Lean Cuisine Coupons (using them is always iffy)
  
• Dump leftover sweets in trash (though not the really good ones like Carolyn’s fudge)
  
• E-mail Ellen about walking
  
• Floss more
  
• Make mini adjustments to my diet & don’t include Houston’s butter cookies on my Tuesday lunch order (not yet anyway)
  
• Smell like grapefruit in the morning----it splatters all over me
  
• Read magazine articles on organizing & clearing clutter
  
• Start looking for Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman to read, yet again. (1 of only 2 books I reread)

So, you ask---why no resolutions? I know myself---short-term goals are better for me. I tend to “fret” over my unfulfilled resolutions. (i.e. failures) Romans 7:14-20 passage hits the nail on the head in so many ways. Though the passage is about the law & the sin within, there were some verses that really summed it up for me. It’s sort of a spiritual stretch but God does that for me sometimes when He’s showing me my “self.”

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ……..For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:15 & 18 b.)

"89"

1/4/11 "89"---the number on Larry’s high school football jersey, 89---the longest verse in the KJV Bible is Esther 8:9 with 89 plus one words. 89¢ the cost that Mother would pay for enough hamburger meat (3 lbs) for meat loaf, spaghetti sauce and fried hamburgers from Haddock’s grocery (and they delivered) That woman could stretch a dollar, uh 89¢.

89 FM is a Foothills Broadcasting radio station in Knoxville that produces real faith, real life programming mixed in with their music. For years the station has been airing encouraging words to fill up those who are empty and lifting up God so that all listeners could “see” him. My Daddy has that kind of radio station in my life. His words, though few, were encouraging. In later years, his daily reading of the Upper Room devotional and consistent church attendance were visible to all who knew him.

Today, Daddy is 89 years old. Daddy the “softer” side of my parental duo. Daddy, who was soft of speech, scolded me only once that I remember. I still shudder when I think about it because I had made fun of my grandmother Davenport’s pronunciation of the prefix for our phone number. (Tuxedo for 88) Had she heard me, it would have been shaming. Shaming is never acceptable. How grateful I am for Daddy’s intervention.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you and thank you for loving me.

Meditation, minced

1/3/11 It’s Monday and you know what that means---meditation. Most years I try to choose a year’s verse. Saturday, January 1, my chosen passage was I Thessalonians 1: 14-18 and those 5 verses seem to have “stuck.” I will be reading these verses in a variety of versions and later looking at each verse individually. But what I’ve done so far is to mince the verses and jot down the morsels that jumped out at me. It’s like a Reader’s Digest of Condensed Books---i.e. Dotsy’s Abridged Verses---just little bite-sized pieces. Remember, it’s just my brief beginning.

Be patient. Be kind. Be joyful. Be prayerful. Be thankful.

SABBATH REST----

1/2/11 Sabbath rest is more than a Sunday afternoon nap---though they are restful! It's more than cessation from work---though as a Type A personality I need that too. A Sabbath rest is more than an item to check off on your "do right" list. As a member of a "self-help" nation and a once aspiring member of overachievers anonymous, I know how to even make work (accomplishment) out of an ordained day of rest. (Exodus 20: 8-11)
Today Cole's sermon opened my eyes to that 4th commandment's meaning. It goes much deeper than needing rest. Though the focus is one of refreshment---a refreshment which is found in the Lord, it’s more than a weekly regimen. Though purposely disengaging from the grind in order to replenish and refresh in Him, is part of it, Sabbath rest is about definition and trust. When I rest, I admit that it's not my work that defines me. When I rest, I acknowledge that Christ defines me. It's what God did through Christ on my behalf that truly defines me.
When I rest I trust. I trust that God is the One who makes me who I am. There's more, but right now on this Sabbath day, I'm just resting on that.

From extraordinary to ordinary and then.............

1/1/11 What's the best approach? Today's date is extraordinary. Last week was extraordinary for us. We had a house full of folks including 5 little Texans, 8 & under and 3 yr. old Owen and lots of drop in family and friends. The carport was parked with scooters and bikes and mini golf carts, not cars. We played inside and outside---in coats and gloves and shorts and rain gear. It was a monumental effort just to feed and bathe and entertain with Wii and board games, homemade play dough & legos, stories & slide shows. Movies, ice skating, Christmas tree for the birds. We tried to do it all.
Now they, and all the company that accompanies their infrequent visits, are gone. How does one transition? How does one go from clutter to calm? From delight to doldrums? From extraordinary to ordinary?

The time with them is so fleeting. I want it to be special. We see them so seldom that I want it to be memorable. I work hard at is and so does Larry. Their parents sacrifice to bring them. I want it to be memorable. When they drive away and I see that Texas license plate disappearing from sight I cry. I get that sick, lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach as if I'm homesick. I can hardly swallow. I call and check on them along the way. They will be glad to get home to their toys and their beds---their ordinary is their comfort zone. My transition to our ordinary feels sad.

In Eccl 1:1-11, we learn that life is fleeting and disappointing---here today and gone tomorrow. Just like all the football games we've watched today. It seemed so important to cheer for the right team---I was so glad when the horned frogs (I almost typed toads) of Texas Christian won and especially when the quarterback quoted I Peter 5:6. Yet, I probably won't remember next year---just like I can't remember who won the Rose Bowl last year or even the Super Bowl. It seems so important at the time but the simple truth is most of these thoughts are fleeting and 100 years from now will only be known, not remembered, by someone who happens to "google" those statistics.

Life is fleeting and I want to make the most of those relational moments with family and friends. I want those moments "under the sun" to count for eternity where they won't be fleeting. I want my loved ones to know that the best way to live "under the sun" is to live in the Son. I want all these fleeting moments of ordinary to become extraordinary because they count for eternity.

Connections

12/31/10 This blog was started in my mind during the early morning when I was somewhat spiritually connected. The thoughts continued to bounce around throughout the day when I was connected physically with feeding or rocking and corralling 6 little boys. In a way I was even emotionally connected to those bloggish thoughts because I seemed to cherish the ideas. Now, I sit at the computer trying to reconnect with those thoughts and I am totally disconnected mentally. Plus, it's 6 minutes past John Parker's bedtime (and he's watching me from his makeshift bed, a pack 'n play) so it's time for me to disconnect the computer and say goodnight.
If and when I reconnect with those thoughts, I'll let you know.
Happy New Year!

Pathways

12/29/10 It's hard to find a clear path in my house especially a pathway to the computer because John Parker sleeps in the computer room. Not to worry, I wouldn't change one aspect of this Christmas visit for anything. However, as soon as this maze does clear I have some THOTS about paths that I'd like to share.

This is what the LORD says:
“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16

The last part of that verse says, "But you said, ‘We will not walk in it." I do know that would not be a wise response. I also know that my (and probably your) life's journey has lots of twists and turns. I know, too, that without the Lord to guide me on the right path or the good way, I cannot walk in confidence.
It would be more dangerous than trying to find a pathway to my computer as I tiptoe in the dark clearing the path as I go. Stepping on those little lego toys that "bite" and trying not to bump the pack and play---virtually impossible. I can't walk with confidence when I can't see the path. That's why there aren't many blogs this week. But.....as I finish up this post, I hear John Parker praying for God to bless Shug (and lots of others) and thanking God for Jesus who got out of the cave and is alive. I am praying that all my grandboys find the pathway to Christ and walk in that good path all their days.

What’s your Christmas morn cup of tea??

12/25/10 This morning during my “Warriors on the Wall” prayer time, I noticed that Pastor Cole asks for prayer for sensitiviTEA, puriTEA and humiliTEA toward the Lord and in ministry and life! 
 Certainly excellent choices for one who shepherds God’s flock.

What’s your cup of tea this Christmas morning? I hope that we all sip from the cup of eterniTEA!

Merry Christmas and God Bless!! (Luke 2:1-20)

“DANCER”

12/24/10 A recent e-mail quiz had folks answering questions to figure out which of Santa’s reindeer they would be? I already knew that I would be dancer. I’ve got the hand towel hanging in my bathroom to prove it. The towel was a gift from my delightfully crazy, Hanukkah celebrating, water aerobics instructor and friend, Jan. That was 2 years ago---before the big C diagnosis. Today that towel has special meaning because of all that I have learned in my dance with the Lord.

Taking the quiz, I “scored” Dancer!


I just knew I would be Dancer because the Lord has “turned my mourning into dancing and girded me with gladness” (Psalm 30:11) time and time again.