2/11/09 D D T (Dotsy’s Dallas Team)---an answer to prayer
FYI--many have asked to pray for my team by name, so here’s the Baylor Medical Team:
Dr. Richard Ha, Craniofacial Surgeon
Dr. Lance Oxford, ENT- (Head/Neck surgery)
Dr. Frank Saporito, mohs surgeon
Dr. Clay Cockerell, dermatopathology
I will leave for “Big D” 3 weeks from today---probably flying down for pre-op procedures. Dr. Ha’s is already scheduled for March 5 and his office suggested that I schedule the others around it. Larry will drive down 2 days later and we will stay in Texas until the surgeries begin. We hope to sneak off for a few days---just the 2 of us. The first surgery is the mohs surgery and it is scheduled for all day, Monday, March 16. Depending on the outcome of this series of excisions of the tumor, (during which I’m awake), the next surgery, which will be the basic foundation laying, by the reconstruction team, will be on Tuesday, March 17. Hospitalization of 4-5 days will follow this surgery. Then, I think---nothing definite in any of this---all will depend on extensiveness of MAC---I will stay in Dallas for a follow-up surgery ---in a week or two---lots of unknowns---other surgeries to follow as needed and I have no idea of the time frame between each.
Prayer requests
For an early time slot to open for surgery on 3/17---scheduled at this time for 12:30---Ha & Oxford need to be wide-eyed and bushytailed
Clear margins--- let’s not second guess MAC here---good eyes for the pathologist
Speaking of eyes, again, I got some great insight from folks—several quoting from praise choruses & hymns---music truly speaks to the heart and helps us remember. Worship leaders and choir members---what a ministry you have.
Another eye-opening thought on eyes came from my MAC sojourner, Michele. What a way this gal has with words!! She used my eyes to address my fear---
My first response when I read your words was, "But if your eyes speak loudly enough, everything else will be muted." …………..I've never seen you, but something tells me that that will be true of you. If the eyes are truly a window to the soul--and I believe they are--the transformations to your face will not alter how people perceive you, because your eyes...I'm sure of it...are animated prisms through which love and faith and pleasure and grace and serenity shine. No amount of surgery can alter that.
I think after this roller coaster day ---I’m not talking ‘bout the rickety old fairgrounds Pippin here---it’s been more of the King’s Island Firehawk variety---I’ll close my eyes with this playing in my head, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Assignment: EYES
2/10/09
Journal jottings: shaky awakening---what was the missed cell phone call about ---the one from Dr. Ha at 2:53 yesterday---Why’s he calling? I’m not “ready” to go---too much still undone--- updating will (the last testament kind), repacking for different temps, letter to be written to my kids---okay, so they’re adult kids, I still want to tell them how much I love them---Grandaddy’s in hospital & his pain’s not subsiding, Mommar needs a village, …etc. PTL, Larry has 3 siblings to take up that slack. “Settle,” as Larry would say, so I did. Nothing can fortify like a big dose of God’s Word & a steamy bowl of oatmeal (no instant for me) w/ real butter and real sugar and real milk---not the “see through” variety that is usually in our fridge. My oatmeal this morning might even give the “Batesville blend” a run for its money---though mine wasn’t served to me in bed. The Mary B.s tea biscuits are a good accompaniment as well. (Family aside---as close to Mother/Gigi biscuits that you can buy---must be made with Sunflower, milled only in Hoptown. Mother/ Gigi always used Sunflower, probably because Mr. Yost went to First Methodist with us. Most of the time she baked biscuits and cornbread with buttermilk. If not, her recipes listed ”sweet milk” ---& she didn’t mean Eagle Brand.)
Jesus Calling reminded me I needed to spend ”ample” time with the Lord and let go or push back some of the demands of the day knowing that He is able to bend time and events in my favor---under His guidance I will be able to sort out what is important and what is not. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you with My eye upon you. (Psa. 32:8)
Is “eye” the word of the day? I don’t have eyes that can read without glasses---and for awhile I won’t even have a nose to prop those spectacles on. I am a reader---so I’m probably going to have to be read to for awhile---this could be a new adventure. I’m the reader/storyteller---I’m the one whose license plate said, “IREAD2U”---sounds like a lesson in humility is coming up.
A “worry” (working on giving it to the Lord) that has come forth since Michele asked me some thought provoking questions, concerns eyes. She asked what my greatest “fear” was about my surgery. At first, nothing came to mind. Now the fear is identified----the eyes of others on my new face---not for me as much as others---a face that would evoke sympathy or embarrassment for my family and friends------ especially for my grandsons.
I don’t want them to be self-conscious about their Shug.
So readers---you have an assignment ---what does God have to say about eyes (or my fear) that will realign my thinking with His? Open my/our eyes that I/we might behold wonderful things from Thy law. (Psa. 119:18)
It’s all about eyes---my eyes, (physical eyes) other’s eyes (judging eyes) God’s eyes ---the eyes of our heart---those spiritual eyes.
For me, I know that I can “lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1)
Journal jottings: shaky awakening---what was the missed cell phone call about ---the one from Dr. Ha at 2:53 yesterday---Why’s he calling? I’m not “ready” to go---too much still undone--- updating will (the last testament kind), repacking for different temps, letter to be written to my kids---okay, so they’re adult kids, I still want to tell them how much I love them---Grandaddy’s in hospital & his pain’s not subsiding, Mommar needs a village, …etc. PTL, Larry has 3 siblings to take up that slack. “Settle,” as Larry would say, so I did. Nothing can fortify like a big dose of God’s Word & a steamy bowl of oatmeal (no instant for me) w/ real butter and real sugar and real milk---not the “see through” variety that is usually in our fridge. My oatmeal this morning might even give the “Batesville blend” a run for its money---though mine wasn’t served to me in bed. The Mary B.s tea biscuits are a good accompaniment as well. (Family aside---as close to Mother/Gigi biscuits that you can buy---must be made with Sunflower, milled only in Hoptown. Mother/ Gigi always used Sunflower, probably because Mr. Yost went to First Methodist with us. Most of the time she baked biscuits and cornbread with buttermilk. If not, her recipes listed ”sweet milk” ---& she didn’t mean Eagle Brand.)
Jesus Calling reminded me I needed to spend ”ample” time with the Lord and let go or push back some of the demands of the day knowing that He is able to bend time and events in my favor---under His guidance I will be able to sort out what is important and what is not. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you with My eye upon you. (Psa. 32:8)
Is “eye” the word of the day? I don’t have eyes that can read without glasses---and for awhile I won’t even have a nose to prop those spectacles on. I am a reader---so I’m probably going to have to be read to for awhile---this could be a new adventure. I’m the reader/storyteller---I’m the one whose license plate said, “IREAD2U”---sounds like a lesson in humility is coming up.
A “worry” (working on giving it to the Lord) that has come forth since Michele asked me some thought provoking questions, concerns eyes. She asked what my greatest “fear” was about my surgery. At first, nothing came to mind. Now the fear is identified----the eyes of others on my new face---not for me as much as others---a face that would evoke sympathy or embarrassment for my family and friends------ especially for my grandsons.
I don’t want them to be self-conscious about their Shug.
So readers---you have an assignment ---what does God have to say about eyes (or my fear) that will realign my thinking with His? Open my/our eyes that I/we might behold wonderful things from Thy law. (Psa. 119:18)
It’s all about eyes---my eyes, (physical eyes) other’s eyes (judging eyes) God’s eyes ---the eyes of our heart---those spiritual eyes.
For me, I know that I can “lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1)
Monday, February 9, 2009
Waiting Delineated
2/9/09 Waiting Delineated
It was 1 month ago today that I first heard the words “biopsy needed.” Thus began this new season/step in my life/dance . From that time on, events became “before MAC or since MAC.” Often there have been periods of one step forward and two steps back---I’m sure there’s a dance move in there somewhere. This dance began with one big “grand jete”---just picture Baryshnikov leaping across the stage---or better yet, picture a ballerina who leaps and is caught by the one waiting patiently and expectantly for her to move toward him. It has been a leap of faith, but I knew who was waiting to catch me---if that makes sense at all. Then there have been the elimination dances (from docs along the way) and reels where things have been so whirling that I wasn’t sure where I was suppose to go next---except that I had a patient dance partner who knew the right steps and was willing to teach me and guide me. Today he began to teach me about waiting---it is “with the heart that we must wait on God.” (A. Murray) Waiting on God is being in His Presence---and I’ve felt so close to Him that it’s as if we’re moving as one---we really are in this dance together.
There’s waiting and then there’s waiting---are you confused yet? I wish I could insert columns here for comparison but don’t think the blog format would like that.
My day started w/ my frailty of “what if” questions taking up way too much space in my mind---I can’t control anything that is going on in Dallas right now--- if indeed, anything is going on that I even need to know about. It ended with today’s Jesus Calling verse on my heart. … I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song…(Isa. 12:2)
Journal jottings:
Waiting on DOC ---it’s mental, knowing with the mind---I have no control
1. Seeking doc’s schedule/answer but...... I have no control
2. Restlessness/anxiety/draining
3. In frenzy---making list, checking it twice
4. Responsibility---it’s about “doing”
5. Fretting---which overshadows God
6. Eating nervously
7. Expectation w/dread
8. Holding tight to anything I can-----for some semblance of control
Waiting on GOD---it’s a heart issue---believing w/ the heart
1. Seeking his Presence
2. Renewal/rest (Psa. 37:7-- Rest in the Lord, wait patiently on Him.)
3. In faith
4. Relational response---it’s about “being”
5. “Fret not_____”verses in Psa. 37----I put my name in the blank.
6. Not eating---intentionally
7. Expectancy w/delight
8. Letting go of all-----but God’s hand
Truly, my soul waiteth upon God. On thee do I wait all the day long. (Psa. 62:1)
It was 1 month ago today that I first heard the words “biopsy needed.” Thus began this new season/step in my life/dance . From that time on, events became “before MAC or since MAC.” Often there have been periods of one step forward and two steps back---I’m sure there’s a dance move in there somewhere. This dance began with one big “grand jete”---just picture Baryshnikov leaping across the stage---or better yet, picture a ballerina who leaps and is caught by the one waiting patiently and expectantly for her to move toward him. It has been a leap of faith, but I knew who was waiting to catch me---if that makes sense at all. Then there have been the elimination dances (from docs along the way) and reels where things have been so whirling that I wasn’t sure where I was suppose to go next---except that I had a patient dance partner who knew the right steps and was willing to teach me and guide me. Today he began to teach me about waiting---it is “with the heart that we must wait on God.” (A. Murray) Waiting on God is being in His Presence---and I’ve felt so close to Him that it’s as if we’re moving as one---we really are in this dance together.
There’s waiting and then there’s waiting---are you confused yet? I wish I could insert columns here for comparison but don’t think the blog format would like that.
My day started w/ my frailty of “what if” questions taking up way too much space in my mind---I can’t control anything that is going on in Dallas right now--- if indeed, anything is going on that I even need to know about. It ended with today’s Jesus Calling verse on my heart. … I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song…(Isa. 12:2)
Journal jottings:
Waiting on DOC ---it’s mental, knowing with the mind---I have no control
1. Seeking doc’s schedule/answer but...... I have no control
2. Restlessness/anxiety/draining
3. In frenzy---making list, checking it twice
4. Responsibility---it’s about “doing”
5. Fretting---which overshadows God
6. Eating nervously
7. Expectation w/dread
8. Holding tight to anything I can-----for some semblance of control
Waiting on GOD---it’s a heart issue---believing w/ the heart
1. Seeking his Presence
2. Renewal/rest (Psa. 37:7-- Rest in the Lord, wait patiently on Him.)
3. In faith
4. Relational response---it’s about “being”
5. “Fret not_____”verses in Psa. 37----I put my name in the blank.
6. Not eating---intentionally
7. Expectancy w/delight
8. Letting go of all-----but God’s hand
Truly, my soul waiteth upon God. On thee do I wait all the day long. (Psa. 62:1)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday With Thee
2/8/09 Sunday w/ Thee
Can you have time with the Lord on the Lord’s day without going to church? Absolutely! Do I miss going to church and being with God’s people? Absolutely!! There is nothing quite like the fellowship of believers. Dr. T used to say that if you’re trying to stay away from germs, “Don’t go to church or the movies.” Maybe that’s b/c there are lots of huggin’ folks at church. I don’t mind missing the germs but I sure miss those hugs.
This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psa. 118:24) How easy it is to rejoice when the sun is shining and the temps are just right as you & your hubby accompany a grandson on a “walk-walk” in his little red car.
How much harder it is to rejoice at the end of the day when waiting in the kitchen of a beloved neighbor of almost 32 years---waiting for an ambulance to come and take her to the hospital one more time---and yet the loving husband and daughter who were there for her allowed me a glimpse of that unconditional love of family that becomes a healing balm for the one in the center of the crisis/suffering. I rejoice that she has such a family.
Can you have time with the Lord on the Lord’s day without going to church? Absolutely! Do I miss going to church and being with God’s people? Absolutely!! There is nothing quite like the fellowship of believers. Dr. T used to say that if you’re trying to stay away from germs, “Don’t go to church or the movies.” Maybe that’s b/c there are lots of huggin’ folks at church. I don’t mind missing the germs but I sure miss those hugs.
This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psa. 118:24) How easy it is to rejoice when the sun is shining and the temps are just right as you & your hubby accompany a grandson on a “walk-walk” in his little red car.
How much harder it is to rejoice at the end of the day when waiting in the kitchen of a beloved neighbor of almost 32 years---waiting for an ambulance to come and take her to the hospital one more time---and yet the loving husband and daughter who were there for her allowed me a glimpse of that unconditional love of family that becomes a healing balm for the one in the center of the crisis/suffering. I rejoice that she has such a family.
2/5/09-2/7/09 Postings from Dallas #3
2/7/09
Technically, I’m home today---but a lot of my MAC stuff is still in Dallas & a lot of Dallas thoughts are still swirling in my head. That “M” bridge was a welcoming sight late last night. Nothing feels quite as good as one’s own bed, does it?
Began day in prayer chair because it’s Saturday. Since November 1995, the 7 AM. Saturday time slot for prayer for First Evangelical Church has been mine. We, “Warriors on the Wall,” have a guide that is sent each month with specific needs. This morning when I saw my name listed with those cancer patients needing prayer for stamina and healing, I was taken aback. It was almost surreal---I never imagined seeing my name there---I had a real catch in my throat.
Rest of day mostly spent at the Lord’s feet or soaking in the tub or napping or putting my feet up---I haven’t even felt much like talking----maybe I’m practicing for those days coming up---before I get a new mouth----when I won’t be able to talk. So grateful that WH is praying for “joy” for me today.
journal jottings---“When God exhales, beloved, inhale.” (Voices of the Faithful) so similar to yesterday’s “breathe Me in with each breath.” (Jesus Calling) So I asked,
“What truths do you have for me from your Word today, O Lord?”
Psalm 43:11 (Streams in the Desert) & Psalm 42:11 (Jesus Calling) are the exact same words---“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God for I shall again praise Him, my “salvation” and my God.” (ESV) “help of my countenance” (NASB) “health of my countenance”---the One who puts joy in my heart/smile on my face (my marginalia) WH prayers were right on target today---so glad today is the day she prays for me.
“patient waiting” seems like an oxymoron for a nanosecond kind of girl (an MP term)but God……
”be still and know that I am God.” (Psa. 46:10) Am I about to enter God’s waiting room? May I have no expectations------ just a joyful expectancy of time with Him.
A. Murray in Waiting on God, suggests “to wait upon God and receive from Him what He alone can give, what He delights to give.” "My soul waiteth only upon God…"(Psa. 62:1)
2/7/09
Technically, I’m home today---but a lot of my MAC stuff is still in Dallas & a lot of Dallas thoughts are still swirling in my head. That “M” bridge was a welcoming sight late last night. Nothing feels quite as good as one’s own bed, does it?
Began day in prayer chair because it’s Saturday. Since November 1995, the 7 AM. Saturday time slot for prayer for First Evangelical Church has been mine. We, “Warriors on the Wall,” have a guide that is sent each month with specific needs. This morning when I saw my name listed with those cancer patients needing prayer for stamina and healing, I was taken aback. It was almost surreal---I never imagined seeing my name there---I had a real catch in my throat.
Rest of day mostly spent at the Lord’s feet or soaking in the tub or napping or putting my feet up---I haven’t even felt much like talking----maybe I’m practicing for those days coming up---before I get a new mouth----when I won’t be able to talk. So grateful that WH is praying for “joy” for me today.
journal jottings---“When God exhales, beloved, inhale.” (Voices of the Faithful) so similar to yesterday’s “breathe Me in with each breath.” (Jesus Calling) So I asked,
“What truths do you have for me from your Word today, O Lord?”
Psalm 43:11 (Streams in the Desert) & Psalm 42:11 (Jesus Calling) are the exact same words---“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God for I shall again praise Him, my “salvation” and my God.” (ESV) “help of my countenance” (NASB) “health of my countenance”---the One who puts joy in my heart/smile on my face (my marginalia) WH prayers were right on target today---so glad today is the day she prays for me.
“patient waiting” seems like an oxymoron for a nanosecond kind of girl (an MP term)but God……
”be still and know that I am God.” (Psa. 46:10) Am I about to enter God’s waiting room? May I have no expectations------ just a joyful expectancy of time with Him.
A. Murray in Waiting on God, suggests “to wait upon God and receive from Him what He alone can give, what He delights to give.” "My soul waiteth only upon God…"(Psa. 62:1)
2/5/09-2/7/09 Postings from Dallas #2
2/6/09
Rescued John Parker (8 ½ mos.) from his bed “before his wake-up time.” Ah-h-h the privileges of being a grandmother! This was followed by a “Quiet” Time w/ Nathan and Noah alongside (Caleb slept-in) w/ John Parker in my lap, as we studied their James 2:1-3 “assignment.”
Took necessary time alone as well---grateful to be able to do this as Larry, aka Pop-Pop fixed bikes and precious, calm, patient daughter-in-law, Day, went to register Caleb for next year’s pre-school class.
Met mohs surgeon, third member of my team---he will go as far as he can w/ ENT/head & neck surgeon alongside to step in as needed. Met ENT yesterday--- though he looks 15, he was very thorough and I appreciated his concern for me. My slides and reports are now being sent to team member #4, a “premier” derma-pathologist with 2 fellowships and lots of experience under his belt---YES!! Dr. C and Dr. B. (Memphis doc) kept emphasizing that I need a really good pathologist---so God provided.
Journal jottings----only wisdom I really have is faith in God’s working---and in that faith to pray for His power and His strength---my frailty is becoming so evident--- meet me with your strength O Lord. There’s that juxtaposition again---my frailty w/ His strength—Grateful for time in word before reading Jesus Calling or I might have focused on way ahead being very steep instead of “cling tightly to My hand”…..”lift up empty (of self, maybe) hands of faith”….”receive My Precious Presence.” His hand is everywhere isn’t it?
2/6/09
Rescued John Parker (8 ½ mos.) from his bed “before his wake-up time.” Ah-h-h the privileges of being a grandmother! This was followed by a “Quiet” Time w/ Nathan and Noah alongside (Caleb slept-in) w/ John Parker in my lap, as we studied their James 2:1-3 “assignment.”
Took necessary time alone as well---grateful to be able to do this as Larry, aka Pop-Pop fixed bikes and precious, calm, patient daughter-in-law, Day, went to register Caleb for next year’s pre-school class.
Met mohs surgeon, third member of my team---he will go as far as he can w/ ENT/head & neck surgeon alongside to step in as needed. Met ENT yesterday--- though he looks 15, he was very thorough and I appreciated his concern for me. My slides and reports are now being sent to team member #4, a “premier” derma-pathologist with 2 fellowships and lots of experience under his belt---YES!! Dr. C and Dr. B. (Memphis doc) kept emphasizing that I need a really good pathologist---so God provided.
Journal jottings----only wisdom I really have is faith in God’s working---and in that faith to pray for His power and His strength---my frailty is becoming so evident--- meet me with your strength O Lord. There’s that juxtaposition again---my frailty w/ His strength—Grateful for time in word before reading Jesus Calling or I might have focused on way ahead being very steep instead of “cling tightly to My hand”…..”lift up empty (of self, maybe) hands of faith”….”receive My Precious Presence.” His hand is everywhere isn’t it?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
2/5/09-2/7/09 Postings from Dallas #1
2/5/05
9:15 Hooray Shelby County Schools---they provide a case manager, if I choose---& I CHOOSE—to be my advocate with insurance---talked to Julie, my mgr. as son, Buddy, navigated Dallas traffic---(a story in itself) by the time I got to several doctors insurance approval had either been met or was pending---Dr. Finn’s office has gone above and beyond as well. Thanks Cary & Teresa!
Thursday-10 AM meet w/ MF---the most gracious lady ever—who has offered “shelter” (SHELTER should be in all CAPS b/c it’s ministry that she’s offering) for Larry and me as needed during our Dallas stay---if indeed, Dallas becomes “my” place. She’s a Romans 12:13 woman. “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
She even adds to her “to do list,” after the fact, so that she can cross it off---- that’s someone I can relate to for sure. Her quiet neighborhood, near SMU, will be great for a “masked woman” to walk while recovering between surgeries and there’s even an adorable plaza near the end of her street that has quaint shops & eateries and a Logos bookstore, oh yea! While there, buying A. Murray’s Waiting on God,---on sale---another oh yea!-- “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” began playing. Okay, I “puddled”...but it is my favorite hymn and the one played when I was seated as “mother of the bride.”
Seeing God’s hand for 2/5 ---it’s the story KS from Park Cities Presbyterian told me as I strolled the plaza soaking up, as I’ve said before, both the sun and The Son.
1:30 appt. w/ Dr. Richard Ha Arrived on my time at 1:00 over the protestations (though gentle) from my son & husband. Smart decision b/c I had to fill out paper work that they “thought” they had e-mailed me. Dr. Jay Burns was also there and came in to encourage and offer support. As we were leaving the “institute,” I had Larry take a picture of the plaque—4 of the of names on that list----tops in the field of reconstruction---had already been consulted by Dr. B. and Dr. Carter on my behalf. Here’s where the day began to take on new dimensions that took some absorbing. The doc has to give the best and the most radical scenarios for treatment---apart from a miracle, Larry and I both knew we were past the “easiest” treatment but hearing new words and possibilities in the radical realm gave pause, (increased heart rate & wave of nausea)---to say the least. Larry, in his way, can make me smile even in the worst of times---He asked if I should have a tattoo put on my shoulder to make sure he takes home the right gal.
Evening with little Texans seems a blur---I was so emotionally drained that I had to pull apart for a while------hearing those grandboys pray for me at bedtime was the best way to end the day ---that, and Larry reading scripture to me, allowed me to find peace and once more grasp the Lord’s hand as I began to refocus & trust Him and fall asleep.
2/5/05
9:15 Hooray Shelby County Schools---they provide a case manager, if I choose---& I CHOOSE—to be my advocate with insurance---talked to Julie, my mgr. as son, Buddy, navigated Dallas traffic---(a story in itself) by the time I got to several doctors insurance approval had either been met or was pending---Dr. Finn’s office has gone above and beyond as well. Thanks Cary & Teresa!
Thursday-10 AM meet w/ MF---the most gracious lady ever—who has offered “shelter” (SHELTER should be in all CAPS b/c it’s ministry that she’s offering) for Larry and me as needed during our Dallas stay---if indeed, Dallas becomes “my” place. She’s a Romans 12:13 woman. “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
She even adds to her “to do list,” after the fact, so that she can cross it off---- that’s someone I can relate to for sure. Her quiet neighborhood, near SMU, will be great for a “masked woman” to walk while recovering between surgeries and there’s even an adorable plaza near the end of her street that has quaint shops & eateries and a Logos bookstore, oh yea! While there, buying A. Murray’s Waiting on God,---on sale---another oh yea!-- “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” began playing. Okay, I “puddled”...but it is my favorite hymn and the one played when I was seated as “mother of the bride.”
Seeing God’s hand for 2/5 ---it’s the story KS from Park Cities Presbyterian told me as I strolled the plaza soaking up, as I’ve said before, both the sun and The Son.
1:30 appt. w/ Dr. Richard Ha Arrived on my time at 1:00 over the protestations (though gentle) from my son & husband. Smart decision b/c I had to fill out paper work that they “thought” they had e-mailed me. Dr. Jay Burns was also there and came in to encourage and offer support. As we were leaving the “institute,” I had Larry take a picture of the plaque—4 of the of names on that list----tops in the field of reconstruction---had already been consulted by Dr. B. and Dr. Carter on my behalf. Here’s where the day began to take on new dimensions that took some absorbing. The doc has to give the best and the most radical scenarios for treatment---apart from a miracle, Larry and I both knew we were past the “easiest” treatment but hearing new words and possibilities in the radical realm gave pause, (increased heart rate & wave of nausea)---to say the least. Larry, in his way, can make me smile even in the worst of times---He asked if I should have a tattoo put on my shoulder to make sure he takes home the right gal.
Evening with little Texans seems a blur---I was so emotionally drained that I had to pull apart for a while------hearing those grandboys pray for me at bedtime was the best way to end the day ---that, and Larry reading scripture to me, allowed me to find peace and once more grasp the Lord’s hand as I began to refocus & trust Him and fall asleep.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Mom in Dallas
Mom sends greetings from Dallas! It's been a long but productive couple of days. She will have lots to share later. She has met w/ three members of the team that is being assembled to work on her.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
2/4/09 Bedside Table Top
Okay folks---anyone who has ever been to Sunday School knows the story of the “loaves and fishes” ---there are 5 loaves----so why didn’t someone inform me of this typo on the blog---I guess you call it a typo, though 5 isn’t even close to 9---I had to stumble on it myself---remember, I rarely proof these things and often don’t read until after the fact---in this case, way after the fact.
Okay #2---about my bedside table top----it has an array of “stuff” including Afrin, a bottle of Ambien, out of which I have only taken 4 over the last 17 days, a picture, 2 actually, of my T-Cup friends, who really know me and still love me, 4 freshly sharpened pencils (a recent gift), a 4x6 violet post-it note pad on which I write verses----violet for verses makes sense to me----(I write citations of verses received during the day via e-mail or slug mail or readings and then Larry reads them to me at night before lights out) a 4x6 blue post-it note pad (blue/bedroom---I wonder if this color coding idiosyncrasy goes back to all those 20+years of teaching kindergarten) a blue Impact gel pen and a blue “flag post-it” highlighter, which I really love, plus an Erasermate pen for my nightly Commercial Appeal crossword puzzle along with 3 pairs of glasses, which is amazing since I can rarely find any---I bet you think my bedside table w/2 bookshelves underneath is 10’long. Whew---I think I just entered the English handbook of world records for the best example of a run-on sentence---those sentences which should be avoided!
“Camping out again today in God’s Word before leaving for Dallas after Larry’s classes--should arrive around 9 or 10 tonight. The location this time is II Corinthians 4. Verse one starts with, “Therefore, since we have this ministry, we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.” I like the way that the Lord can speak to my heart through scripture written long ago. Today, I’m so grateful that His mercy has not allowed me to lose heart and that His Word is Truth and balm for my soul.
Closing out with Amy Carmichaels’ notes in Edges of His Ways…………”Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow stronger. Let it be so with us.” "Let it be so with me, Lord whether in Dallas or Memphis. “
Larry just asked about “my dance” wondering if I’d be eliminated again (remember those Teen Town dance contests where a tap on the shoulder meant you were out---I actually stayed in a long time if I were dancing w/ my older brother) by a doctor or if this would be the beginning of the dance marathon. I don’t know the answer, but the “Lord of the Dance” does and he continues to hold my hand and pull me back in step even when I try to keep twirling around on my own.
Have already received a warm Dallas welcome from the folks of Park Cities Presbyterian church---(including prayers from the pastoral staff). I look forward to meeting y’all!
This “Shug” can’t wait to see her 4 little Texans (& their parents)
Okay folks---anyone who has ever been to Sunday School knows the story of the “loaves and fishes” ---there are 5 loaves----so why didn’t someone inform me of this typo on the blog---I guess you call it a typo, though 5 isn’t even close to 9---I had to stumble on it myself---remember, I rarely proof these things and often don’t read until after the fact---in this case, way after the fact.
Okay #2---about my bedside table top----it has an array of “stuff” including Afrin, a bottle of Ambien, out of which I have only taken 4 over the last 17 days, a picture, 2 actually, of my T-Cup friends, who really know me and still love me, 4 freshly sharpened pencils (a recent gift), a 4x6 violet post-it note pad on which I write verses----violet for verses makes sense to me----(I write citations of verses received during the day via e-mail or slug mail or readings and then Larry reads them to me at night before lights out) a 4x6 blue post-it note pad (blue/bedroom---I wonder if this color coding idiosyncrasy goes back to all those 20+years of teaching kindergarten) a blue Impact gel pen and a blue “flag post-it” highlighter, which I really love, plus an Erasermate pen for my nightly Commercial Appeal crossword puzzle along with 3 pairs of glasses, which is amazing since I can rarely find any---I bet you think my bedside table w/2 bookshelves underneath is 10’long. Whew---I think I just entered the English handbook of world records for the best example of a run-on sentence---those sentences which should be avoided!
“Camping out again today in God’s Word before leaving for Dallas after Larry’s classes--should arrive around 9 or 10 tonight. The location this time is II Corinthians 4. Verse one starts with, “Therefore, since we have this ministry, we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.” I like the way that the Lord can speak to my heart through scripture written long ago. Today, I’m so grateful that His mercy has not allowed me to lose heart and that His Word is Truth and balm for my soul.
Closing out with Amy Carmichaels’ notes in Edges of His Ways…………”Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow stronger. Let it be so with us.” "Let it be so with me, Lord whether in Dallas or Memphis. “
Larry just asked about “my dance” wondering if I’d be eliminated again (remember those Teen Town dance contests where a tap on the shoulder meant you were out---I actually stayed in a long time if I were dancing w/ my older brother) by a doctor or if this would be the beginning of the dance marathon. I don’t know the answer, but the “Lord of the Dance” does and he continues to hold my hand and pull me back in step even when I try to keep twirling around on my own.
Have already received a warm Dallas welcome from the folks of Park Cities Presbyterian church---(including prayers from the pastoral staff). I look forward to meeting y’all!
This “Shug” can’t wait to see her 4 little Texans (& their parents)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Literary Leanings
2/3/09
For all my “kiddie lit” friends---as the Pokey Little Puppy went roly-poly-pel-mel down the hill, so might my words come out tonight. BTW, all who know me, know that there is no such thing as good literature written just for children---if it’s well written, all readers can enjoy it.
Several of you have asked what I’m reading lately---actually I don’t have enough time or space to list all tonight. Suffice it to say, I have always been one who could read several books at once---though I’m not talking Dostoevsky here. If it’s non-fiction, I’m a pro at directing my reading for specific info. I have been known to read the last chapter first, or at least scan it. That’s why those books have a good index or a helpful table of contents. Helps me get to the “meat” of what I’m looking for.
Someone else asked me, “what’s on your bedside table?” Now, that’s getting a little personal and maybe even insulting if you’ve been measuring the dust, but……if you’re talking books, I’m just finishing up Philip Yancey’s, Soul Survivor, and am beginning to devour a work of fiction,
Shards of Shell by Michele Phoenix. It‘s poignant, it’s funny, there’s a love interest and a 4 yr. old speaking with a “southern accent,” who will capture your heart.
If you want to order one---don’t go to a bookstore or on-line---just make a check for $18 (that includes the postage) to Michele Phoenix and mail it with your request to :
Dream Acres - 4755 Oliver Road - Timmonsville, SC 29161-7722
As for devotional books, you’ll just have to keep reading the blog b/c I will usually share the one that has spoken to me that day. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m in first person singular here---this has been my choice—books help me---these thoughts are all mine, etc. I take full responsibility b/c this is just my story and it’s the only one I know---the only one I can tell—I’m just allowing you to peek into some of my journal entries to see who I am. I can only do that because I know Whose I am.
My underlinings from Streams in the Desert today: God shines His light on you to make you fit for life’s deserts………….He lifts you to new heights to strengthen you so that you may go deeper still……..He illuminates you so He may send you into the night, making you a help to the helpless……….The time of testing that distinguishes and greatly enriches a person’s spiritual career is not an ordinary one but a period when it seems as if all hell were set loose……And the testing “later on…produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. (Hebrews 12:11)
For all my “kiddie lit” friends---as the Pokey Little Puppy went roly-poly-pel-mel down the hill, so might my words come out tonight. BTW, all who know me, know that there is no such thing as good literature written just for children---if it’s well written, all readers can enjoy it.
Several of you have asked what I’m reading lately---actually I don’t have enough time or space to list all tonight. Suffice it to say, I have always been one who could read several books at once---though I’m not talking Dostoevsky here. If it’s non-fiction, I’m a pro at directing my reading for specific info. I have been known to read the last chapter first, or at least scan it. That’s why those books have a good index or a helpful table of contents. Helps me get to the “meat” of what I’m looking for.
Someone else asked me, “what’s on your bedside table?” Now, that’s getting a little personal and maybe even insulting if you’ve been measuring the dust, but……if you’re talking books, I’m just finishing up Philip Yancey’s, Soul Survivor, and am beginning to devour a work of fiction,
Shards of Shell by Michele Phoenix. It‘s poignant, it’s funny, there’s a love interest and a 4 yr. old speaking with a “southern accent,” who will capture your heart.
If you want to order one---don’t go to a bookstore or on-line---just make a check for $18 (that includes the postage) to Michele Phoenix and mail it with your request to :
Dream Acres - 4755 Oliver Road - Timmonsville, SC 29161-7722
As for devotional books, you’ll just have to keep reading the blog b/c I will usually share the one that has spoken to me that day. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m in first person singular here---this has been my choice—books help me---these thoughts are all mine, etc. I take full responsibility b/c this is just my story and it’s the only one I know---the only one I can tell—I’m just allowing you to peek into some of my journal entries to see who I am. I can only do that because I know Whose I am.
My underlinings from Streams in the Desert today: God shines His light on you to make you fit for life’s deserts………….He lifts you to new heights to strengthen you so that you may go deeper still……..He illuminates you so He may send you into the night, making you a help to the helpless……….The time of testing that distinguishes and greatly enriches a person’s spiritual career is not an ordinary one but a period when it seems as if all hell were set loose……And the testing “later on…produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. (Hebrews 12:11)
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