Saturday, January 26, 2013

"All a-dither"

1/26/13 "All a-dither" was a term used by "older" folks in my small town in my growing up years. In particular I think my grandmother, "Gena" Adams, used to get all in a dither over my mother's flamboyant ways. It's a term that could have described me yesterday---one day after THE home invasion. All caps THE indicates it was a very personal home break-in. It had indeed left me "all of a  dither"---an idiom from a Middle English word didderen, to tremble. My outward demeanor might not have manifested that behavior but my inner self certainly felt shaky and weak.
Dither---my actions in blue---because I think blue might be the color for a "funk mood"
  • in a flutter or tizzy, (walking in circles or from room to room with no apparent direction)
  • in a state of tremulous agitation, (feeling irritable and sad all at the same time
  • to be unsteady in purpose or action, as from loss of courage or confidence, (stymied by indecision so nothing of purpose was accomplished)
  • to be nervously irresolute in acting or doing, (couldn't decide door choice for replacement
  • a state of indecisive agitation (inability to make decisions greatly frustrated me)

But God....whose Word always reminds me to "fret not," Dotsy, had a plan for me. First, lots of encouraging calls with offers of help, invitations for a "secure" place to sleep, and emails with prayers. Secondly, he had me up early for my Saturday prayer time, so routine for me that I didn't have to decide anything. That time has been assigned/decided for me for over 17 years now.
Once seated with Bible open, and assuming that fretting was akin to dithering, I chose to stay in my prayer chair for several hours. 
In my marginalia of Ecclesiastes 4:5-6, I had written (in 1991) that "dropping out" (i.e. folding hands and giving up) is not the answer and often we need to recognize our limitations and only make modest demands on ourselves in our desire for inward peace. 
The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh. One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind.
Hopefully no more "all a-dither" days but rather days with the One who is my peace and my security even when the back door is still just "rigged."