"impulsivi-TEA"

For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13, NIV)

Impulses can rule, and sometimes ruin, my day. I can dart ahead----of God. I can act without asking His direction. I can choose to NOT act because of my own laziness or excuses, even when I sense God's quiet prodding. I rationalize that I can respond LATER.

Oh, the pull of impulses. Some should be resisted. Others should not. Some impulses are more of an acting on a sudden whim, without giving one's actions much "careful" thought. Those can have a negative effect on one's day. But God.....showed me that when I'm living in the Spirit, His impulses have already been thought through and planned ahead and I need to follow His guidance.

A Spirit driven life is one of controlled impulsivity toward God's ways----obedience is required. Even if one has mis-understood an "impulse," as God given, God can honor it.

Impulses to pray. The pull of my prayer chair.
I had better fill my cup of controlled impulsivi-TEA and move toward Him.

"All a-dither"

1/26/13 "All a-dither" was a term used by "older" folks in my small town in my growing up years. In particular I think my grandmother, "Gena" Adams, used to get all in a dither over my mother's flamboyant ways. It's a term that could have described me yesterday---one day after THE home invasion. All caps THE indicates it was a very personal home break-in. It had indeed left me "all of a  dither"---an idiom from a Middle English word didderen, to tremble. My outward demeanor might not have manifested that behavior but my inner self certainly felt shaky and weak.

Dither---my actions in blue---because I think blue might be the color for a "funk mood"

• in a flutter or tizzy, (walking in circles or from room to room with no apparent direction)
• in a state of tremulous agitation, (feeling irritable and sad all at the same time) 
• to be unsteady in purpose or action, as from loss of courage or confidence, (stymied by indecision so nothing of purpose was accomplished)
• to be nervously irresolute in acting or doing, (couldn't decide door choice for replacement) 
• a state of indecisive agitation (inability to make decisions greatly frustrated me)

But God....whose Word always reminds me to "fret not," Dotsy, had a plan for me. First, lots of encouraging calls with offers of help, invitations for a "secure" place to sleep, and emails with prayers. Secondly, he had me up early for my Saturday prayer time, so routine for me that I didn't have to decide anything. That time has been assigned/decided for me for over 17 years now.

Once seated with Bible open, and assuming that fretting was akin to dithering, I chose to stay in my prayer chair for several hours. 

In my marginalia of Ecclesiastes 4:5-6, I had written (in 1991) that "dropping out" (i.e. folding hands and giving up) is not the answer and often we need to recognize our limitations and only make modest demands on ourselves in our desire for inward peace. 

The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh. One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind.

Hopefully no more "all a-dither" days but rather days with the One who is my peace and my security even when the back door is still just "rigged."

SNOW DAY---MUSIC to ears of school kids & a few teachers

1/29/10 Lying in bed on this "snow day," (of sorts) I didn't see one single flake or hear any pelting of sleet but Channel 5 news announced it at 5 am. Even though Shelby County Schools was not included on the scrolling at the bottom of the screen, I took them at their word and went back to bed and snuggled down.

Too tired (or just plain lazy) to get up and too awake to sleep, I began to pray for my Friday folks and Clarence, Sally P., Keith, Gail, Gurner, Kim and others with “hospital” needs as they came to mind. Since I didn’t want to leave the warmth of my pile of covers and go to my prayer chair, I began to attempt to pray without request list or scripture---what a rambling attempt that was. (Can A.D.D. be a prayer diagnosis?)

My prayers were certainly not of the “foxhole” variety. I had no focus and no sense of urgency. After all, it was a “snow day” so I had all day to pray. Yet, in reality, I knew that once my feet hit the cold floor, I would be into my “to do” mode. “Be still and know that I am God” came to mind.

To “be” ---if you ever want to be confused look up that definition in the dictionary. (I didn’t need thoughts like transitive or intransitive or subjunctive or indicative mood floating in my mind.) I needed Him. “To be or not to be--that is the question” or so says Prince Hamlet in the Shakespearean play. But…..to pray or not to pray is not the question. Certainly not. One can’t ever question that! Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

So…I allowed my intransitive be to become transitive as I quit just being and began to be in prayer with Him as my object/focus.* I began my bumbling attempts at prayer. So bumbling, in fact, that in the midst of praising the Lord for His attributes, my mind would flit to options for my morning oatmeal----cranberries...walnuts or both. But....I kept at it. Have you ever heard the old adage, “Pray ‘til you feel like praying”?

Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. (Psalm 4:4) I didn’t exactly stand in the vertical sense but I did “stand” in my mind as God took over----and that’s awesome!

At 6am the phone rang. I got up. It was Shelby County Schools informing me that schools were closed. How timely. I open the library a 6 am each day----glad I listened to news at 5. But God now had me on my feet so I went forth with a prayer in my heart---that today I would be all that He would have me to be.

*Apologies to my English teaching friends if this grammar lesson is all mixed up---just hope you get the point.