SHOW ME THE WAY, A LENTEN JOURNEY!

A Lenten journey for me began this year with what was necessary to keep my focus on things above, not on things of earth. (Colossians 3:1-2)

Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow,. (Psalm 25:4)

A plain path.(ASV). Good path.(CEB) Even path.(DARBY) 

Level path.(ESV) Right path.(GNV) Straight path.(NIV) Upright path (NEV)

The necessary. The basics. The bottom line.The longings of the soul.

Henri Nouwen's book, Show Me the Way, was filled with reflections on the road of faith, which is God's way., along with prayers of openness.

Why O Lord, is it so hard for me 

to keep my heart directed toward you?

Why does my mind wander off

in so many directions,

and why does my heart desire

the things that lead me astray?

Let me sense your presence

in the midst of my turmoil.

Take my tired body

my confused mind,

and my restless soul into your arms

and give me rest ---simple, quiet rest. (p.35)

DO YOU PRAY?

Do you pray?

The answer to the question is yes. A resounding YES!

But.......this morning on the familiar corner turn toward home, I almost rear-ended this car 

because I was so-o-o angry at self with my response to someone dear over an amount of hamburger meat, I was distracted, not praying. 

Pitiful, right! Yes & anger certainly had a grip on my less than cheerful heart. Conviction was so real it gripped me.... until God allowed this car in front of me! What a message on a license plate! 

DOUPRAY

I wrapped up the prayer with true confession and asking forgiveness.

In every thing give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Then the traffic light changed and the light in my heart began to slowly change as well.

CHOOSE: CONFESSION

Sensitivity has a way of showing one her sins. That's when Wednesday becomes a day of confession for me, aka "Weeping Wednesday." I desire to "confess, renounce and find mercy" (Proverbs 28:13) and forgiveness (1 John 1:9) as He purifies my heart. (James 4:8)

It's not like going into a confessional booth or opening up to a friend. It's just me before the Lord asking Him to "Search my heart." and show me my heart. (Psalm 139:23) Did He ever!
That's why it's a scary thing to do. It's hard to truly "see" the wickedness of one's own heart. A heart that He needs to "clean and restore."(Psalm 51:10) Confession and repentance are heart issues. Restoration is from God.

Forgive me, Lord, for my self-protective and self-promoting ways.

Glad I chose "Confession." It took away the guilt (Psalm 32:5) and as Mama Davenport always said, "confession is good for the soul."

"Guil-TEA" : a second cuppa

"I am too ashamed and disgraced, my God, to lift up my face to you, because our (my) sins are higher than our heads and our (my) guilt has reached to the heavens. (Ezra 9:6, NIV)

Have you ever felt as Ezra did? 

He fell on his knees and tore his clothes as in humiliation and embarrassment as he called out to the Lord in confession.

I often take to long to get to that point of confession. 

Today's devotional reading at kitchen table NOT my prayer chair. Guilty!

Kitchen sink prayers, hurried no less. Guilty!

No thoughts of confession until I started this blog entry. 

I tend to harbor my guilt in the deep, dark recesses of my mind where they can bubble up, at will. Hanging on to my guilt: Every wrong path taken. Every angry word spoken. every bad attitude.

"I wear guilt well," I often say. Shame on me---that should not be a boast.

I need to "check that guilt" at the door of my mind. Not returning to reclaim it. 

I need to no longer drink from that cuppa. Rather, pour down the drain any guil-TEA that is a bitter dreg in my life----serving it up to Him in confession instead.

TRUE CONFESSIONS

11/23/10 They say confession is good for the soul. In this case, it’s not me I’m concerned about, but you, my blog reader. My confession is for you. I don’t want my blog entries to set myself up as a user of Jesus as a “quick fix”---though He certainly can be if He chooses.

If you read yesterday’s entry, it probably seemed that I went from anxiety to calm in a matter of moments. What was not written was the times of anguish and out of control behavior that preceded that calm. Often times the blog entries are a synopsis of the event---from my poor choices to my right choices so that all is well. Trust me, all would be well a lot sooner if I would just keep my focus on Him. Some days I’m better at that than others. The good news is that regardless of my choices, He remains faithful. I want to inspire others with that truth---even when my actions seem to disregard it.

So--------------here’s the confession. Before I got to the washing away of the anxiety by being in His word and having a cup of tea alongside, I had complained to my hubby, had some “justified” anger that caused tears and tossed and turned several nights. I decided to “do something” for someone else. (still not sure if it was totally for someone else.) I made peanut brittle for Daddy. Old handwritten cooking times on the recipe were obviously for the old microwave because I burned the whole batch. I had a real come apart. Then I preceded to eat almost the entire SCORCHED batch

Weeping Wednesday 2010

2/3/10 Last Wednesday I confessed somewhat jokingly to my leadership group that during the past week I had spent a lot of those days in “contentment time-out.” Appropriately, they laughed. Yet it’s sad in a way. Actually by the time I got to the meeting I had moved from time-out to remediation. Thanks to that day’s earlier praise walk, I was on the threshold of Contentment 101. That’s still square 1---and that’s sad! Confession is good for the soul but often it’s enough to make you cry-----thus my weeping Wednesdays.

For the next few months I’ll be studying Philippians with my Heart to Heart group at church. Joy is woven throughout Paul’s entire epistle and he was certainly in dire circumstances. I had been “under my circumstances” (fatigue) which is nowhere for me to be. I know better--- I just couldn’t seem to get my head up. So I am going to hang out in Philippians and ask the Lord to re-teach me the contentment dance.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12) NIV

I know contentment is learned; I know that I am blessed beyond measure; I know that I was content throughout my cancer struggle so I know a few of the basic steps. I just have to get my eyes back on my dance partner because I’ve really been stepping on His toes a lot lately---not totally in sync. Maybe I’m trying to do the leading---and that’s a crying shame!