"Guil-TEA" : a second cuppa

"I am too ashamed and disgraced, my God, to lift up my face to you, because our (my) sins are higher than our heads and our (my) guilt has reached to the heavens. (Ezra 9:6, NIV)

Have you ever felt as Ezra did? 

He fell on his knees and tore his clothes as in humiliation and embarrassment as he called out to the Lord in confession.

I often take to long to get to that point of confession. 

Today's devotional reading at kitchen table NOT my prayer chair. Guilty!

Kitchen sink prayers, hurried no less. Guilty!

No thoughts of confession until I started this blog entry. 

I tend to harbor my guilt in the deep, dark recesses of my mind where they can bubble up, at will. Hanging on to my guilt: Every wrong path taken. Every angry word spoken. every bad attitude.

"I wear guilt well," I often say. Shame on me---that should not be a boast.

I need to "check that guilt" at the door of my mind. Not returning to reclaim it. 

I need to no longer drink from that cuppa. Rather, pour down the drain any guil-TEA that is a bitter dreg in my life----serving it up to Him in confession instead.

Dreg of Excessive Planning addendum

6/20/13 Two days ago I posted the "dreg"(sin) in my life. Excessive overplanning. With further research  I "stumbled" on "Over Planners Anonymous." Everything from an "empty blog" and discussion groups---with some like gripe sessions others like funny confessionals (I'm such a super planner that I have to plan time for spontaneity) to thought-provoking devotionals. Funny and convicting. There was even a blog for "Disney trip overplanners." More conviction!

Just naming said dreg as sin was convicting enough for me. But God......didn't leave me there wallowing in  anguish and defeat.

Example of "old school" excessive planning---add to that...electronic calendars w/ audio prompts & emails and piles of post-it notes and you have an idea of the weight of my "dreg."

My blog entry ended with my confession but God began to bring scripture to mind. Reminders for one who trusts in the Lord and not in self from Proverbs 3: 5-6 soothed me with the words of reassurance,  "that as I acknowledge Him, He will direct me, making my paths straight."
Other verses of comfort:

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." (Proverbs 16:3, NIV)

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21, NIV) 

And we know that all things God work for the good of those who know Him.. (Romans 8:28, NIV)

So grateful that God's word always gives hope---even for  "excessive overplanners."

Simplicity group members access to "Overplanners Anonymous."

DREGS

6/18/13 In previous blog entries I have given a variety of euphemisms to the word "dregs." Dissatisfactions. Disappointments. Leftovers. Remnants. Worthless parts.

Last weeks simplici-TEA assignment /discussion encouraged looking at a specific "dreg" in one's own life. Identifying and dealing with dregs in our lives is one part of the meditation process. This week the focus was to be on that component. Component #3.

Using the Tea with Thee form, to aid in the blending, brewing, steeping and serving of our scripture meditation we were to ask God to show us our hearts....to see if there be any hurtful/wicked/offensive way in us. (Psalm 139:24) Allowing God to investigate/ cross-examine/test us can be so revealing, and even painful. But God....can use it to bring one to the point of crying out to Him, to "create in me a clean heart, O Lord" (Psalm 51:10) which can lead to a renewed Spirit within, i.e. a change in attitude or behavior.

1. Sip---find a verse or passage of scripture and "steep" it in prayer
2. Savor--think on it with prayerful guidance of God's Spirit 
3. Discard the dregs--eliminate the distasteful parts shown in your life
4. Pour out--not only to yourself but share what God has shown you thus benefitting others as well

The dreg, which God brought to my mind, was EXCESSIVE PLANNING. Though difficult to savor (think on) something so "bitter" in one's own life, it is necessary in order for God to teach truth and for change to occur.

I had to ask myself these hard questions:

• What brings on this distasteful "driven" attribute? 
• Am I still desiring  perfection, even though I know that's unattainable? 
• Is it fear based? 
• Is there a root of unbelief?

In Jesus Calling entry 4/25, author Sarah Young states, "fear often manifests itself in excessive planning." Christians know that fear is not from God because He has said, "I will always be with you." (Hebrews 13:5) Do I truly believe that? If I do, then my actions are not showing trust. Certainly a lack of trust can thwart intimacy with Him.

This dreg my friends is nothing but sin. By any other name, it's still sin. 

It's taking God out of the equation of my life's activities and actions.

It's a lack of trust. Lack of trust is rooted in unbelief.

That's not just a bitter dreg. That's sin.