Whirlaway???

12/6/10 ……… A ride at Coney Island? A thoroughbred racehorse? A method for ridding the mind of whirring thoughts?

The whirring sound from the small bathroom heater that I placed on the bathroom counter mimicked the whirring that was going on in my mind. I don’t use a hairdryer anymore so on these cold days I place the heater where it can dissipate the dampness of my hair, at least a little bit around the edges, while I brush teeth and apply make-up, before hitting the brisk outside air of early morning.

This action is somewhat of a step back in time. As a youngster, my mother would have me sit in front of the open door of our gas oven and run her fingers through my hair from the scalp out---a drying technique similar to the one I use now. As a teenager, I used that bonnet-type dryer so that I could sleep with it on my head. Not sure how safe that was.

All these methods are time-saving devices used throughout my life as my mind has always had the tendency to whir into action once I get out of bed & continues to whir with the days agenda as I dress. That, my friends, is not a peaceful mind.

Nowadays, in order to slow down those whirring thoughts, I try to fill my mind with scripture. It’s scriptural to do that because it keeps one’s mind on the Lord. Try it you’ll like it---especially this scripture that verifies that truth. Choose the version that you want as your “whirlaway.”

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (Isaiah 26:3, KJV)

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3, NASB)

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3, NIV)

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3, NLT)

ADVENT TRADITIONS

12/5/10 Today is the second advent Sunday of 2010. Advent Sundays are the four Sundays before Christmas Day. The entire advent season is a time of expectancy. Christian families wait and prepare for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Through the years we Liles have only done it “officially” on Sunday. But….we’ve done it so often we even have our own script. As each married and moved away, I sent an advent candle holder along with a copy of our script.
In the past, on the 2nd Sunday, I would have opened in prayer, our youngest child (Molly) would be lighting the purple candle of faith from last week’s lesson, Larry would read Matthew 1:18-24, middle child (Josh) would light the next purple “candle of light” (also known as the Bethlehem candle) after the devotional and oldest child (Buddy) would lead the singing of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and my favorite carol of all, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”

Now the script doesn’t quite fit our empty nest household---it doesn’t exactly fit Buddy’s either because he and Day have a lot more kids who will need a part. Whereas Molly and Corey only have one and Josh and Megan have none, it doesn’t fit their houses either and I’m afraid our tradition will die out.

Maybe each house will alter and begin its own tradition. Maybe that’s what Larry and I need to do because it feels lonely here when I think back on previous advent Sunday nights: the time our Jewish neighbors’ son came and came back again when he realized that the next time, Mr. Liles would be singing “We Three Kings” and he didn’t want to miss that; the joy on the faces of our kids opening those small gifts which were fairly predictable over the years---ornament, the first Sunday, magazine or book the second Sunday, etc; extinguishing our candles the Scrooge way---“scrooging” has a way of leaving spit dribbles on the candles.

One year we shared our traditions with friends. With everything organized with our kids so that they were also a part, we had it all planned down to the letter----except for the electricity going off. (& only on our street) It turned out to be memorable, probably more so, because of the “seeming” catastrophe. Cooking was done via extension cords over the fence from our back neighbors’ house and our grill. Gifts were given by candlelight so that those who received gifts with the “wrong” name could pass them on to others. The gift went on…

Tonight, if gmail cooperates, I plan to open an email sent by a friend from Germantown Methodist that includes an Advent guide. Maybe Larry and I will find just the right advent lesson for empty nesters who miss sharing this tradition with their kids.

Laughter that is good for the soul

(12/2/10) What does that look like? In the circle of stoic Christians, laughter can be almost non-existent or forced humor can look like a bad case of locked bowels. Surely it’s okay to have fun especially during this joyous season of celebration, which too often can turn stressful. But how? For me, it’s not too hard because I’m married to a comic. My older brother with his droll personality and his sometimes dry and always off the wall sense of humor with an uncanny sense of timing is also humorous----and that’s putting it mildly. Anyone who prefaces his questions with, “What in the tarnation….?? is witty in my book. Put the two of them together and life becomes “wet your pants” funny. But, they’re rarely together.

Most of you might not have folks like that in your life so you have to “look” else where, especially when life situations aren’t offering too much to laugh at or joke about. Big brother solved that for his wife, Charlotte, and me and my amigas, Gigi and Bonnie. He treated us to a comical feast---an evening with “laugh out loud funny,” Anita Renfroe. Renfroe helped us laugh at our belly rolls, our jigglies, our mammogram experiences, our hubby’s snoring and everyone’s bad breath. It wasn’t raunchy.
It was good, clean laugh at yourself entertainment. It blessed me beyond measure. I continue to remember tidbits and smile when I think about them. She’s a former Baptist preacher’s wife (former b/c he’s now her manager) so her humor not only brings out the deep belly laughs, but it goes right to the soul.

All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. (Proverbs 15:15)

On the go, on the go, on the go.........

12/1/10 .....and I'm afraid it's gonna snow, gonna snow, gonna snow. (in KY)
and it did and it was glorious!!



Even Col. Sanders was snowed upon.






Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! Psalm 133:1

"FIX-IT" MENTALITY

11/30/10 Is it a female thing? Or just a Dotsy thing? I am forever trying to “fix” situations so that I, or my loved ones, don’t feel the brunt of pain. My cuppa mental-i-TEA is sweetened with a spoonful of "fix-it" and sweet milk each day! Isn't that what all mothers drink in large quantities!

I’ve made it a life-long practice to run interference for others. When the kids were young it was so like me to have them come with their boo-boos so Mommy could kiss it & make it better. Even though I know children and adults alike learn in the midst of struggle and hardship, there is still this part of me that wants to minimize the pain. 

Problems are part of life---the first 5 words in this morning’s Jesus Calling entry. That was followed by the admonition not to let “fixing things” be a top priority. The spiritual flip to that was, “Talk with Me……rather than trying to fix everything, ask Me….” I was so convicted about this fallacy in my life that I talked to Karla about it during the beginning of 3rd period. (11am EST) Returning home around 4:30, the phone rang and the tone of Larry’s voice let me know something was very wrong. Josh has been in a wreck (around 11 am EST) he said---don’t worry, he’s going to be all right. 

 

He’s been at the hospital for tests and Megan has been with him. He’ll call us back later with more info though tests show no broken bones or concussion. Then Larry explained the wreck and I got weak and woozy and scared just hearing about it. 

Witnesses feared the worst for the rider.

Josh was on his Vespa, which he rides in his Brooklyn neighborhood between home & work, to ease traffic and parking problems. A car ran a red light and Josh saw it coming. He leaned the Vespa over not to be hit upright, I guess. The car ran over Josh and the Vespa but thankfully Josh stayed between the wheels of the car. The handlebars caught and Josh had the presence of mind to push away so that he wouldn’t be drug under the car wheels as his bike was. Both he and the Vespa were dragged ‘til the car wheels were jammed. 

Though weak and scrapped, Josh, much to the amazement of bystanders, crawled out from under the car. An ambulance was called and Josh was taken to the hospital, as stated earlier. While waiting on Josh to call us back, my thoughts have gone in so many directions. Josh whose baby pictures I had just put on the blog 15 days ago has had a close enough brush with death that it leaves me sick at my stomach. 

I can’t fix it. I can’t make it all better. But............I do know the One who can. 

....let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, (Hebrews 12:1b-2a) Let go and F.O.C.U.S. on the One who is in control.

The King is Coming

11/28/10 Join me in meditating on Psalm 24 on the first Monday of the Advent season.

1 The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, 
 the world, and all who live in it;

2 for he founded it on the seas 
 and established it on the waters.
3 Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? 
 Who may stand in his holy place? 

4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, 
who does not trust in an idol 
or swear by a false god
5 They will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God their Savior. 

6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, 
who seek your face, God of Jacob.
7 Lift up your heads, you gates; 
 be lifted up, you ancient doors, 
that the King of glory may come in.

8 Who is this King of glory? 
The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, you gates; 
 lift them up, you ancient doors, 
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory? 
 The LORD Almighty—he is the King of glory.

"In-between times"

11/28/10 That phrase sort of reminds me of the dash on a tombstone---the time between birth and death. During this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want to make the most of the time given without wiping out my good intentions with self-induced stress. Certainly my plate is full---I actually just leave my suitcase open in the hallway for easy repacking between trips. Yet, as Jesus Calling entries have reminded me everyday for a week, the key to making the most of “in-between” times is:

• Thank me. (11/21).
  
• Thankful attitude. (11/22)
  
• Thankful stance. (11/23)
  
• Thankfulness removes the sting of adversity. (11/24)
  
• Thank me in every situation. (11/25)
  
• Walk….the high road of thanksgiving. (11/26)
• Let thankfulness rule in your heart. (11/27)
  
• …life steeped in thankfulness. (11/28)

I was affirmed in my “in-between” musings as I just opened and read my son’s newsletter to Allen Bible Church & friends. Pithy with a punch---he says it much better than I could. (Bold print = my emphasis.)

A friend of mine once said, "There are three words every human being should learn to say: “Hello,” “Goodbye,” and in between, “Thank You." Recently, as a church family, we have said goodbye with tears of grief to loved ones and hello with tears of joy to new little ones. And the Lord is teaching us the brevity of life and the blessings of family and each other. In this season and our study of Philippians, He's reminding us that our citizenship is in heaven and we're "in between," and that each day "in between" is the time to learn to say, "Thank You."
I pray that you will truly take in this Thanksgiving as a gift from Him to be with your family, even the ones who bring to mind words other than "thank You." Scripture seems to indicate that life "in between" is best lived and at its richest when we give thanks because He is good. He is good. Whether your meal is a sandwich or a smorgasboard, I pray you and I marvel and thank Him for His goodness in giving us families, "best buds" but even taste buds, so we can savor the textures and flavors of this season and "taste and see that the Lord is good!" (Buddy Liles)

Thankfulness is the language of love for these "in between times."

BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS

11/26/10 I am not a shopper & have never been a shopper---but I was the daughter of one and am married to one. That's the good news! The bad news is the "ticker-tape" thoughts. You know the kind---those thoughts that allow the jettison of large amounts of shredded guilt and concerns to abound. The agonizing "bad at shopping" ones that continually float through, no matter how often I try to throw them out. All the ads and commercials fuel these feelings. I mull on all my inadequacies in this area and assume that's the reason I don't already have all my shopping done and gifts wrapped. Then I begin the control aspect. The overplanning starts. The list is made. A list that is impossible to accomplish in a given month, much less weeks. Good things are on that list---but I can't do them all. Panic takes hold. That's when the "grayness of my thoughts" (S. Young, Jesus Calling 11/26) begin to loom in my psyche. It's sad how quickly the gray can give way to black and all seems hopeless.
On this "black Friday" may I seek the light of his Presence. May I replace my guilt and fear with thankfulness. I might not tear up my list but I hope to "tweak" it with His input and not be afraid to "erase" the non-essentials.

THANKSGIVING TREATS

11/25/10 Daddy took Larry and me to lunch as “his” guests to the “Friendship House.” Actually, brother Bobby and Larry worked out the details because Daddy had even forgotten to sign up for himself. He had just responded to my comment of all I was cooking for our Thanksgiving lunch with, “I eat at Friendship House everyday.” So, as not to mess with his routine, I put the dinner in the freezer for another time.
As we left to walk over for the lunch, the rain started and Daddy, somewhat flustered, asked how we would get there. He sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know how to drive there. Whew, that put a lump in my throat!
Upon arrival, we entered a different door than Daddy’s “normal” entrance---this too caused momentary concern on his part---as if he feared being lost or not knowing how to escort me in. Heartbreaking.
Finding a table, with his name on it, he admitted that this wasn’t where he normally sat but we assured him this was his table because his name was written with “2 guests” included. Reading that helped a lot and the dinner turned out to be a real "tasty" treat.
It was also an eye-opening event for me. Walkers were everywhere----some lining the wall. Red, green, black, gray and several shades of blue. All with wheels, hand brakes and a little seat---some put their plates on that part. One lady lifted hers to deposit an extra roll. I assume for her later consumption. Daddy’s is black, though he didn’t need his because I was his walker. Almost every table had at least one pulled up beside it, though a few had canes and two folks were in wheelchairs.
The treat in all of this was not only being with Daddy but also in being privileged to see how family and caregivers don’t just discard the elderly.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her………. (The Message)

Aging is difficult. As Daddy realizes how much ground he is losing both mentally and physically, it’s hard on him. It’s hard on all of us. It’s not life as we once knew it. Daddy is not a complainer but this season has recently discovered difficulties for him. He needs help in new ways. I see his fear when he announces that he can’t quite remember how to shave or admit that he can no longer find his way.
Yet, he still knows I am his daughter and he proudly introduced me to Pedro and Bertha, one couple whom he still recognizes from years ago. What a treat that was. He also introduced me to the lady at the next table. (Pauline Joyner, age 97) Then he leaned in and whispered, I have no idea who she is. What a treat to share that joke with him---though his “stage whisper” could probably be heard by half the room.
What a privilege it is to spend time with Daddy and honor him by giving back.

Ephesians 6:1) "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." (The Message)

TRUE CONFESSIONS

11/23/10 They say confession is good for the soul. In this case, it’s not me I’m concerned about, but you, my blog reader. My confession is for you. I don’t want my blog entries to set myself up as a user of Jesus as a “quick fix”---though He certainly can be if He chooses.

If you read yesterday’s entry, it probably seemed that I went from anxiety to calm in a matter of moments. What was not written was the times of anguish and out of control behavior that preceded that calm. Often times the blog entries are a synopsis of the event---from my poor choices to my right choices so that all is well. Trust me, all would be well a lot sooner if I would just keep my focus on Him. Some days I’m better at that than others. The good news is that regardless of my choices, He remains faithful. I want to inspire others with that truth---even when my actions seem to disregard it.

So--------------here’s the confession. Before I got to the washing away of the anxiety by being in His word and having a cup of tea alongside, I had complained to my hubby, had some “justified” anger that caused tears and tossed and turned several nights. I decided to “do something” for someone else. (still not sure if it was totally for someone else.) I made peanut brittle for Daddy. Old handwritten cooking times on the recipe were obviously for the old microwave because I burned the whole batch. I had a real come apart. Then I preceded to eat almost the entire SCORCHED batch