MARRIED BLISS!

When a couple has been married for 57 years, there's definitely advantages! 

Often one can finish a sentence for the other. 

These days I totally depend on hubby to answer questions that have left my memory bank. But.....we share most of the same memories. This past week I could not remember the name of a radio program we once listened to as we traveled.

Earlier, my Word A Day calendar gave us a jump start on finally coming up with the program's name. 

Woebegone, an English word for "affected with woe." Spelled differently but the pronunciation took us to the "location" of the program, Lake Woebegon.

Each weekly show ended with a "fun" quote!

"Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average". 

An unusual shared experience but one we both finally remembered when we had 2 heads working on the same answer.

Prairie Home Companion.

KINDNESS: DEMENTIA'S BEST RX!

God's word gives us truth that guides our lives.....from birth until we meet our Savior in eternity. Sometimes He also allows struggles that we can learn from, especially in different season's of life. With four friends in Memory Care facilities this last year alone, I've seen the positive effects from those who have an understanding spouse walking alongside them at every step.

A recent "prequel" book I read, had me at the "dedication" & I kept reading.  

This book is dedicated to every one living with dementia, 

and to those who care for them.

As I began reading, I appreciated the background of the years of marriage which laid the groundwork of their long past. It rang out to me that all of us have things about our past that always live within. I know in my own life that I can remember lots from my past. As a twosome we can often finish one another's sentences or help recall a person's name, or a place or event. Often that helps if it is done in a quiet gentle way. However, the age-related ? short- term memory is suffering greatly. Even chatting can take its toll if one forgets where certain ideas are going. Many twosomes might have the same difficulties. As author Joe Siple said, "We don't have to have dementia to forget things." (p. 96) To me, it's the response to those lapses by a loved-one that brings tension.

My take away from the author's concepts of kindness toward dementia in this novel: Agreeing is more effective than challenging or "discounting with a deep belittling sigh of a "not again response"; Apologizing can be restorative if sincere; Allow the love through the years to be remembered and put the good of your loved one, regardless of mental or physical condition, before self.  

He who loves his wife, loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, ESV)

Being kind to each other is the best response, dementia or not.

ANNIVERSARY ANGST, once again

8/9/12 Married for 43 years! An event worth celebrating. Certainly a time for a "worthy" gift.  Something he would like. Not extravagant. Bought earlier this summer. From a pragmatic point of view, that was a biggie because I knew we would be "on the road" a lot, even on our anniversary day. But God......had me take the gift to Ukraine for one of our missionaries----at hubby's insistence, I might add.
But Dotsy....forgot to replace it. I even forgot I had given it away. Failing to find it prior to anniversary dinner, a smiling hubby reminded me of what I had done. Acceptance. That was the best gift he could have given me. Plus, tonight he will read Matthew 16 to me as part of Allen Bible Church's NT2012 reading.
Happy anniversary, dear! Thank you for loving and accepting me as I am.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (Ephesians 5:25-26)