F.A.T. TESTIMONY

F.A.T. ---I'm not talking about tipping the scales to measure our "pandemic lockdown" weight gain.

I'm talking a FAT-ness one should aspire to in his/her lifetime.

Yesterday, a "top of the page" (for emphasis) 2018 journal entry 2/21 caught my eye.

Billy Graham was 99 when he went home to glory! Many of us recalled when we had attended a BG crusade or been to The Cove. We also watched his funeral. The televised memorial flashbacks of his  life-long journey with the Lord still produced fruit. (Psalm 92:14) 

In my journal entry, I had recorded that one of his sons at the funeral said that his dad was fat---

F.A.T. in the best way. 

F--aithful

A--vailable

T--eachable

Wouldn't we all like to be remembered with such F.A.T.-ness!

NEW BEGINNINGS

....welcome 2016! The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Or is it???

It seems that I'm always in the midst of a struggle as old years transition to the new ones. This year is no exception. Except....that I'm making NO resolutions.

My hubby and daughter, on the other hand,----along with a friend, a doc and a wise counselor are resolving to "help me" cut back. Maybe it's a reflection of the inner disarray that becomes "outer" when I let down my guard around them.

For a Christian, all new beginnings, in new years or new seasons, start at the cross and continue with obedience to His word.
For me, I want a renewed emphasis in my life on worship. My study in Revelation has been an impetus for that. Loving God and serving others are an overflow of worship..... so, how do I pare down? Relationships take time----time with the Lord and time with others. What a conundrum!
So far, the only fresh start I have made is to begin with a "new" Bible and a new journal. (Thanks, Nancy)

For a journaling junkie, these are essential tools. Maybe the new "journaling" Bible will help me see anew. See truth from Him rather than relying on years of "scribbled notes" (tho marginalia sounds better) in my old Bible. Maybe the new journal will help me keep up with sermon notes and improve my memory and "scattered thinking. "

Yet, the quandary remains---how can there be a "new beginning" when the old ways are so familiar!

In My Face 1/13/2009, 5:02 PM

Past entries are always front and center in my journal style devotional book, "My Utmost for His Highest." Some make me smile---like births, a grand's milestone or first word.
Other entries.... not so much.

Today's jotting sounds ominous and would seem one of the "harder" entries to recall.
Dr. Schneider called at 5:02 pm tonight with cancer diagnosis. (asking if I were sitting down, as I recall) ---rare microcystic adnexal carcinoma---will need to come out--deep  and major reconstruction will be required...."
Yet.....

....the 1/13/09 entry reminded me of a grim diagnosis with an iffy prognosis that became a year of incredible blessings and the life of abunDANCE that followed. 

Pover-TEA & Plen-TEA

“Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God (Proverbs 30:7-9, NIV)

Pondering and seeking the Lord's choice for my morning cuppa, notations in my journal had me rereading Proverbs 30:7-9 several times. The notes* reminded me of a needed perspective of thankfulness. Maybe Thanksgiving being just days away prompted this meditation as well.

Plenty---a BIG cuppa plen-TEA is what most Americans want! 

"Economy sways are voting, not character.  "Plenty" tempts us to think we can get along without God.  (H. Clark, 2005) 

Without thankfulness, one can become selfish and cynical, regardless of how much $$$ one has.

Poverty---a cuppa pover-TEA that can become bitter as one becomes sulky and sorrowful. 

Viewing life as if God has forgotten us can fuel feelings of jealousy and resentment. 

• A change of perspective is often what is needed most. 
• Without the pang of hunger, food is not a gift. 
• Fatigue helps us appreciate rest, 
• Darkness helps us seek light, 
• Illness increases one's awareness of the gift of health.

Thankfulness vaccinates us against ungratefulness. (H. Clark, 2005)

Pover-TEA and plen-TEA---two cuppas that can be a BIG cuppa enmi-TEA. In excess, either can become an enemy o of a thankful heart. Sip in moderation. Allow the cross to cover any enmity.

*(Howard Clark,  "POVERTY & PLENTY ENEMIES OF THANKSGIVING" sermon notes, 11/20/2005)

Pause that refreshes.....

3/22/12 Loved those little 6oz. bottled cokes Mother kept in the back room refrigerator. Even after they were no longer “available”, Daddy was able to get them from an old grocery store down in Guthrie, KY. Not sure where the grocer acquired his stash. As Daddy said, “the pause that refreshes” was better ice cold and straight out of the bottle. Sitting with Daddy on our back porch step with those cold Cokes in hand were certainly refreshing times for me.

Note blank space under cross on left page & 3/8 date in bottom right corner.

These past weeks I have been given “spiritual pause"

Bonhoffer’s book*, 2012 has been my designated “Praying the Psalms” year. March 8, in Texas, using Day’s grandmother’s old Revised Standard Version Bible, I spent time meditating and journaling on Psalm 62. Notations included, “a song of trust” which had me questioning my life songs. My God songs? My trust? 

Sunday, (3/18) I read the Bible verse entry for the Upper Room (once again) Psalm 62:5, 8. “For God alone my soul waits in silence,….. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” (NRSV) More time needed to pour out my heart in song and prayer before Him.

 

Yesterday morning 3/21 Jesus Calling’s first line, “Trust Me and don’t be afraid for I am your Strength and Song,” and concluding with …join Me in singing My Song.” All of that meditation on Psalm 62, a psalm /song of trust, flooded my mind. What was God trying to tell me? I “paused” for more time with Him. A time of spiritual refreshment.

Last night at Heart to Heart Bible study, Crickett, our teaching leader, taught “5 Reasons to Cling to the Rock,” from Psalm 62: 5-8, a part of our Day 3 (3/17) lesson.

5 For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. 6 He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. 8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. [Selah]

Since my purple journal was in my book bag, I just opened to my notes and there on the left hand page was the perfect space** to incorporate her lecture notes summarizing David’s view of God as His ROCK. It was David’s song of trust. Once again God was helping me learn it.

All of this is probably only significant to me……but God…….continues to meet me at my point of need on trust issues. He’s putting a new song in my mouth and He’s doing it through Psalm 62. He’s doing it as I spend time with Him. He’s giving me a “refresher” course in trust.

“For God alone, My soul waits in silence”(RSV)…………the pause that truly refreshes.

*Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

**Grateful I had taken picture of journal before lecture---an affirmation of "but God"…..meeting my needs ahead of time.

Journal Jottings

2/1/09
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.

Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.

I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.

For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.

Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)

Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.

Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.

Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."

These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.