Hospital Happenings

I danced on the way to the OR, Room #38......

........and these strange "pumping socks" are keeping me "light on my feet". (actually off my feet) 

I'm contemplating new modes as I lie here. 

Dance with me my friends- "The Lord of the Dance" can lead us all!

He certainly led me in a "wedding song". 

Today--I remember, I'm a member of the church, the Bride of Christ. 

 A friend loveth at all times (Prov. 17:17) even in an OR room- for 6 minutes that I timed -7:34 margarita needle inserted- 7:37 last clock tick seen.

See, I am still time compulsive.

Nite! Nite!

"Just in Case Letter"

3/15/09 To: Buddy, (Day) Josh and Molly (Corey)
Dearest ones,
I know y’all are used to these “just in case” letters. Usually I write them before your dad and I embark on a big trip, especially if it involves a long flight over water. This time it is different because of the locale of the journey but the urgency is the same. So, "just in case" you've forgotten from the last letter I wrote, I want each of you to know how deeply that I love you and what blessings you have brought to my life.
As the apostle John wrote to Gauis, I, too pray…….”that you may prosper in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers. For I rejoiced greatly when brethren (others) came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children (physical & spiritual) walk in truth.” (3 John v.2-4)

I want you to continue to walk/dance in truth, love, peace and kindness as you walk worthy of the gospel of Christ. The truth has set you free and you know who is the Truth----the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Dr. William Orr, a Pittsburg Theological Seminary professor, said, “ You know how when you find somebody who you know is in touch with the truth, how you want to be in the presence of that person?” When Buddy first went to Dallas Theological Seminary, he said, “Mom, you can’t imagine what it’s like to get to sit at the feet of godly men everyday.” I've not had that privilege but I do have direct access to the Master Rabbi and it's while sitting at His feet that I receive truth and sustenance. Each of you can also sit at His feet every day and learn truth from the Master teacher---I desire that for you.

As long as the Lord allows my presence on earth, I will continue to pray your “birthday” Proverb for you along with 2 Timothy 1:12 “…for I know whom (you) have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what (Buddy age 8, Josh 2/14/86, Molly 4/28/87) have committed to Him until that day.” Your part is in the next verse, “Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.”

May your lives be such an overflow of His love and truth to family, friends and others, whom God puts in your path, that they are drawn to you. Then you can make a difference in their lives. Life is all about relationships, not rules. Remember your time on earth is just one small part of all of life, so make your “dash” count. Continue to be a dancer not a critic---it's the Liles way.
Nite, I love you.
Mom

Love Letter

3/14/09 When's the last time you wrote a love letter to express gratitude?
To: Larry
As I lie here next to you with the familiar “night noises” of almost 40 years, tears stream because of gratitude. Luckily, I always keep pen and pencil by the bed for my night THOTS, as I call them---one just never knows when the urge to “jot” might come, especially nowadays---just 2 days ‘til the surgeries begin.
Jottings in the dark:
I am grateful……………………….
· For your patience---everyone knows that is your strong character trait, especially your UM students. (Gal. 5:22)
· For your kindness--- which has been overflowing to your folks these last few weeks when I know how tired you’ve been. Yet you continued to work behind the scenes on their behalf and still make those late night hospital visits.
(Col. 3:12-15)
· For nightly back rubs that are too high in number to count. (God loves a cheerful giver and so do I.)
· For your “daddying” ability----you’re the best---just ask
your kids. (Eph.6:4)
· For your playful spirit---you’ve always been the biggest kid on Longreen and now you’re the favorite playmate of your grandboys—all 5 of them. They love their Pop-Pop!
(Psa. 125:3)
· For your ability to make me laugh---when I’m considering “casket attire” you’re suggesting-------------a PG13 comment that is so you! (Prov. 17:22a)
· For your willingness to have dishwater hands and to know how the vacuum works. (not scriptural--but a worthy trait)
· For your commitment to the Lord, family and your friends---you have lots of friends, often an atypical trait for men. (Matt. 22: 37-39) (Prov. 17:17a)
· For your dedication to me during this season with MAC---I trust you to be there for me every step that God leads. (Prov. 16:9)
· For your love---you know everything about me and still choose to love me and that is remarkable. (1Peter 3:7)

Nite, I love you---200 years as my wedding band says---our way of saying forever, in 1969.
Dotsy (your baby honey, of old---or maybe now it’s just OLD!)

Cabin Comments

Yesterday, I ventured up to the lodge with laptop in hand to check for an e-mail from Dr. Ha's office. It wasn't there but while I was on-line, Josh "popped up" in the bottom right corner of gmail with a "mornin' "----I was so excited. You see, I don't even have a cell phone, so..... I don't text (unless you count the one time at Seagrove Beach when I texted (I don't even know if there's a past tense) 3 words to Molly from Josh's phone just to practice. I'm so glad Josh set me up last fall w/ the gmail account and a little bit of "chatting" info. It's so fun to type back and forth---plus, this form of instant messaging keeps me connected to my son who seems so far away in Brooklyn. I type a little--he types faster using abbreviated terms--we hit enter and voila!! We just have to both be on-line at the same time and we don't set it up--- it's totally serendipitous for me when it happens. When he's not on-line, we don't connect---that little message comes up that says, "Joshua is off-line, your comments will be available for him the next time he logs on."

It reminded me of the "Upper Room" entry from a few days ago that likened instant messaging to prayer. God's always there---on-line---it's just my prayers that make the connection. That's why I need to "pray without ceasing." ( I Thess. 5:17)

This week I have been praying for many of you and in my journal I noted that there is a "holy ground," of sorts, between those of us who pray for each other. We stay connected because we both have the same Source. Chapter 4 of James tells us, "we have not, because we ask not." So, I am asking the Lord to keep us connected next week, even when I am "out of it," because He can hear the prayer of my heart even when I am incoherent---and I'm taking you, my prayer warriors, into surgery with me. You're going in my heart.

Sunday Synopsis

3/8/09 Summary "post" each Sunday, if possible
Crackers for breakfast---the plain ole saltine kind and plain noodles with butter for lunch---I guess that lets you pretty much gauge the state of my body. I did have a restless night last night so that could have a little to do with it---or maybe it’s that blood I’ve had to give away this week, leaving me a little weak. My first “tech” was in training---good thing for both of us that I had a prominent vein and he had lots of supervisors checking on us. Could also be that I’m counting down to surgery days as well as absorbing the unsettling possibilities of the unknowns.

So maybe I’m just in a slump. Reading to Nathan in preparation for his Dr. Seuss day at school, I came across some “Seussisms” of note. One was, “Unslumping yourself is not easily done.”
I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly it’s true
That bang-ups and hang-ups
Can happen to you.

And when you’re in a slump,
You’re not in much fun,
Un-slumping yourself
Is not easily done. (Oh the Places You Go)

I can’t begin to imagine how someone could "unslump" themselves without the Lord and in my case, friends and family, who are ministering angels of His, as well.

Reading several Seuss books with Nathan was almost nostalgic because many of those books still had the bookplates with his daddy’s name in them. One well worn copy, I could pretty much quote from memory. For sure, the passing on of reading aloud from one generation to another is a tradition that I hope continues----b/c I can relate to that.
TV on the other hand has changed so much and there are so many choices and characters blip across the screen so fast that I can’t keep up---the Texans are past Barney and Bob the Builder so I’m really out of touch. Plus, it doesn’t seem to have the same intimacy that comes with sharing a good book. Factor in the Wii and all quietness is lost.

I’m so old that the entertainment I recall was Sunday nights sitting with my family staring at the mesh fabric behind the scrollwork on the large upright radio, a Philco, I think, and getting “scared” together as we listened to “The Shadow.” (No blips, no icons, just words and a few contrived sound effects) When we did have a TV it was black and white and Howdy Dowdy was the show I remember watching with my brothers. But my favorite was “Winky Dink.” For 50 cents I had ordered a plastic sheet to put on the screen to allow for “interaction.” Winky Dink could count on me to draw the bridge or ladder he needed to get out of his jam. (colored crayons had been part of the"deal.") Nowadays, even Caleb, my 3 yr. old Texan, can interact driving a Mario Cart or bowling on the TV screen.

Even with my own children there wasn’t much TV and the one they liked was good ole Mr. Rogers. Remember him? Blue sneakers, cardigan sweater and a blinking yellow light as the show opens. He left all the trappings of formality on a peg/hanger or under a bench and settled in to take time to “nourish” relationships with those in his neighborhood. Wonder if the yellow light was symbolic of our need to slow down and take time---sort of like having a cup of tea with a friend or family

That’s what I’ve done this week and what I plan to do next week with family---spend some quiet time with the Lord first to ward off undue slumping and then have "ordinary" time with them to laugh, cry, pray and dance---just be LILES, unslumped.

Puddles, Puddles, Puddles

3/04 addendum
Puddles when I read cards and messages, puddles when I saw Mama G’s e-mail, puddles when I read Diane’s sweet, heartfelt letter, puddles when I read Michele’s mutual desire to go to Serendipity 3 in NYC and suggested that maybe someday we could meet there…

then, big PUDDLES (so big, I almost “piddled” as Mama Davenport used to say) ----when seeing the line of people at the end of my street with balloons and posters and smiles and realizing they were my friends (puddles just typing it) It was a virtual chorus line coming to “see me off” with a row of posters that read, “Keep on D A N C I N G, Dotsy---We love you, Lakeland loves Dotsy, etc. What a surprise---what a puddle of warm tears that kept flowing with joy.

Puddles when my Molly surprised me at the airport with goodbye hugs and puddles in Dallas when my Buddy was waiting in the baggage area with welcome hugs.

God is so good! I am so blessed-------more puddles.

The Final Dance

3/4/09 The Final Dance with MAC
My dance card is full---my loving Lord of the Dance is allowing a team to “cut in” (literally) and waltz me through this dance routine that has included MAC. Hopefully it’s the end of MAC’s appearance at my life’s dance.

Reader, have you realized the scriptural truths that have been evident in my dance?

Psalm 37:23-24 sums it up well. The steps (those dance steps of mine) of a man (Dotsy) are established by the Lord; (God has been “in the know” since I was fearfully & wonderfully made) and he (Dotsy) delights in his way. (Though bittersweet, this dance has been a delight to my soul & though the lessons have been hard at times, I am grateful for all the Lord has so gently taught me.) When he (Dotsy) falls (or trips on her own two feet) he (Dotsy) shall not be hurled headlong; (I can testify that sometimes He has held me so close I have felt His own heart---& maybe even His tears, so I know He’s not going to let go) because the Lord is the One who holds his (Dotsy’s) hand!!! God’s BIG hand (strength) holding my little (frail) hand---it’s the juxtaposition of my frailty and His strength--------you gotta love it---I do!!

Whether this final dance is just for this MAC season or if it becomes my final dance this side of heaven, just know that for me it is a “win-win” situation---for as Paul said, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)

So-----Howdy, Texas Pahdnuhs, I’m headin’ to Dallas and I coming with a caravan!!

Tea and Comfort

3/3/09 Teatime
Afternoon tea with friends----there’s nothing quite like it. I have been served by waiters in black vests at a “Victorian tea” at the Empress in Victoria, BC, had tea at Tea and Sympathy in Greenwich Village (served with bangers and mash), attended a bridal tea for Day at Serendipity in Bartlett though the Serendipity 3 in NYC is still on my bucket list----I’ll take my pot of English Teatime with a $22 outrageous banana split. Larry wants the frozen hot chocolate. I have had a “spot of tea” at the Greenbrier, high tea at Crown City Tea Parlor just around the corner from Hotel Del where I had morning tea, and “knock the chill off” tea at both The Beehive in Salt Lake City and le lapin boulè in Quebec with my amigas. Every summer when I travel with my T-Cup friends we always schedule a special tea whether we’re in AR, KY, GA, LA, MO, MS or TN. I have even celebrated a friend's 50th with tea at the Ritz in London, seated beside the famous nymph fountain in the spectacular Palm Court. Pots of tea and crustless finger sandwiches were served on blue and white china followed by scones and clotted cream (which I could eat my weight in) and those scrumptious pastries………….oh my!
I have had morning tea by candlelight at the Empress of Little Rock and this morning I had tea on the window seat between the bookcases that house my travel books, autographed books and my computer. I didn’t have it in a Wedgewood tea cup, though I could have done that. I chose my own blue and white tea cup, special to me because of the memory of running through the rain in Cambridge to a tea shoppe where I purchased said cup after having a steaming cuppa with Larry and dear friends. I didn’t have this morning’s repast with a scone, though I could have----I had it with a piece of delicious pound cake, made by the hands of a loving friend----if clotted cream had been available, I would have slathered it in that. There was no waiter, no ceremony, no server dressed in morning coat (cutaway in American English) or frilly apron----just a kind hubby who had my cuppa sitting on the kitchen counter ready for me to take upstairs to my “nest.”
Though, as you can tell from all the aforementioned ramblings, I find it pure joy to share a cup of tea with those whom I love the most. I also find great comfort in tea times with friends---there’s a great intimacy and acceptance that comes with sharing a “cuppa.” That’s why this morning I’m sharing it with my best friend----just me with Him in quietness.

Isaiah 30: 15 In quietness and trust is your strength.
I cherish the time I have had these past few weeks in fellowship with the Lord---and it’s usually with a cup of tea in hand. As I look to Him, joyfully expectant of His presence, Jesus meets me there---even if it’s on a book strewn window seat. My prayer is that these peaceful moments of listening to Him will spill over into the lives of those whose paths I cross---whether on Longreen, in cyberspace, or “soon to be” in Dallas---our world desperately needs His love.

23rd Psalm--final visit

3/2/09 Psalm 23

More from verse four---
Darkness continues to give me pause for thought/reflection---and here’s what I know:
• Scripture is light---it sheds His light on truth thus giving understanding. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things from Thy law. (Word) Psalm 119:18
• God’s truth can set me free from the darkness brought by worry and fear.
• I can trust God in the darkness---He will lead me.
• The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom (or what) shall I fear? Psalm 27, which I love (Claudia has permitted me to love it b/c it’s her psalm)

Someone asked me, How do you “spout off” this scripture---I don’t know---verses learned as a child do come back---yet, as an adult, trying to memorize scripture has been very difficult for me. But God…..during this time, has allowed those words that are written in His Word, that I have been privileged to study, to come to mind whenever I need His guiDANCE. I know it doesn’t make sense for someone with such a pitiful memory to recall anything, but it’s been happening. It’s as if the essence of His word is residing deep in my heart “for such a time as this”----can’t explain it anymore than that.

Psalm 23:5-6
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Verse 5—God as a provider—providing hospitality for His people—not by taking them away from "enemies" in order to lavish them with a banquet---but by giving His presence in the midst of harm or those who harm.
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Annointing with oil in scripture is an example of God bestowing His Holy Spirit on the believer and David’s cup symbolized his lot/portion in life and how he was overflowing with God’s blessing. (Constable)
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: A four-year old at my son’s church recited the 23rd Psalm which her dad posted on GodTube. It is precious. It also spoke volumes to me when she kept trying to add “surely” before many of the verses---that’s the way I see it now—surely He restores my soul, surely He is with me and surely His goodness and mercy will pursue me---It’s a sure thing.
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
This might indicate heaven but my marginalia indicates a present happening---like Psalm 27:4 ….that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life----building a relationship of oneness, experiencing His presence. (Dotsy THOT)

I’ve found out a few things about sheep this week----they need a shepherd---and so do I. Do you?

R + S = C

3/1/09 23rd Psalm Revisited
Journal jottings: Steeped my tea, while looking at my backyard steeped in snow, opening my Bible to again "steep" in God's word from Psalm 23....while contemplating whether to have homemade sourdough bread from one of my dancers or homemade banana bread from a MS friend.

Wouldn’t we feel blessed if those were the hardest choices we had to make in life? But I, my friends, can tell you that God’s children are blessed, even in the places of deep difficulty---“independent of all circumstances.” (Jesus Calling)

Streams in Desert 3/1 says, “Your situation is filled with uncertainty and is very serious, but it is perfectly right…..for it is a platform from which God will display His almighty grace and power. He will not only deliver you….(He) will impart a lesson that you will never forget.”-----which brings me back to my "steeping" of Psalm 23.

Verse 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

As a teenager I spent many days traipsing back and forth between my house on Virginia Street and the Fairleigh’s house on Alumini Avenue. The quickest, and in those days, safe, path was the alley. Winslow and I knew it by heart b/c most days found us together at one house or the other. But at night it was pitch black and though we pretty much knew the way like the back of our hand, we much preferred to travel it together. Some nights we would leave from my back porch, cross the yard cut through behind the garage, where our baby blue Valiant was housed, just past the vacated house of John Tom, Clara Lee and Hattie May, on the old Albritton place, and scoot down the alley to Alumni where there was a street light ---though dim by today’s standards. Then we’d race to her 1962 turquoise Corvair (w/ tab shift, trunk in the front & motor in the back) and she’d drive me around the corner to my front door---Virginia Street was well lit. You see, light dispels darkness.

Death, even the “shadow of death,” and fear can be synonymous with darkness. And darkness can be overwhelming without “protection.” Winslow and I had each other---silly as that sounds---and that made all the difference. Today, the Lord understood that my MAC fear, not only of the endurance of pain, but the fear of the unknown, would begin to creep in as I neared the time of the Dallas departure----so, He’s had me in this psalm for three days now. He also had “no-fear” verses written on my Dotsy quilt and a "fear" entry today in Edges of His Ways.

The verse doesn’t stop with, I will fear no evil---that would make fearlessness possible by my own “human” effort & trust me, it’s not possible for me to conjure it up. The next phrase, "for Thou art with me,” tells us why we don’t have to fear---the Lord God, our shepherd is with us.
And He comes prepared, just as the hillside shepherds of old. He’s equipped with a rod and a staff.
Insights from Meeting God in Quiet Places---more like my loose paraphrasing:

Rod—protection from enemies---gives feeling of assurance---but if God offered protection without the care and concern of friendship (staff) it would be stern & cold

Staff –for peaceful walking and guiding---friendship, like an old walking stick but if it didn’t go hand in hand with strength and protection (rod) it would be soppy, sentimental, and without power.

The result of the two together is comfort. (Thy) Rod and (Thy) Staff = (my) Comfort(R+S = C)