In A Heartbeat (A Monday Meditation posted Tuesday)

3/8/11 Audio books are the way to travel. Long trips seem to be shortened. Daily commutes seem to be more tolerable. When my commute was longer, it was a way to critique the latest books for the Lakeland Elementary library before I added them to the shelves. The hard part was making myself get out of the car and go into work when I was at one of those cliff-hanging moments. OMC (One More Chapter) NEEDED,

Last week, Charles Martin’s, The Mountain Between Us was not available on CD, at my "local" library so we began the long drive to Texas without a “book.” As night approached and we knew it would be hard to stay awake ‘til midnight, we stopped at the Cracker Barrel in AR on I-30 at exit 123 just to check out their audio book selections. For $3.49 you can “rent” the book for a week.----not as cheap as the library but at that point availability was key. (You actually pay for the CD and then when you return it, to any Cracker Barrel, and they refund all but the $3.49)

We chose Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy’s book, In a Heartbeat, which was their ”side” of the story of The Blind Side. It was interesting to us because of all the Memphis references. Even Shelby County Schools’ librarian and peer, Jacque Higdon was mentioned. Go Jacque!

Though the book dealt with this white, East Memphis couple’s adoption of a young black man from Hurt Village, the book emphasized the power of joyful giving. The power of little gifts. Continued blessings that flow as one gives, especially from their own lack.

As Christians, generosity and giving are certainly important parts of our faith. But God……….. is more concerned with our attitude than the exact amount given. What’s your attitude in giving? Are you a cheerful giver or a begrudging loaner with expectations on your “return” investment? It’s definitely a heart issue. How’s your heart? Are you giving of your time or energy or other possessions to those in need? These are questions I’m asking myself.

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

More Moments, or not

3/4/11 Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, writes of narrowing the number of people he would spend his time with when he was given the prognosis of "3 to 6 months of good health left."

That reminder and the story of the 55 yr. old man who, after determining the approximate number of “life” weeks left, put 1,000+ marbles in a clear jar and took one out every Saturday. Then he would celebrate that day by doing something special with loved ones. Eventually his jar was empty. Then his focus became one of gratitude because of the “extra” days of blessing which the Lord was bestowing upon him. A person’s days are determined; (Job14:5) (http://www.allenbible.org/sermon_audios/AllenBible013011.mp3)

With that mentality and “google,” I discovered that if I live the life span (average number of days for a US female) determined by the World Bank, I would need 832 marbles in my jar. That’s sobering. Yet, that’s exciting too. Just think of all the possibilities for touching the hearts and lives of people, if, in those weeks, I gain a heart of wisdom and impart that wisdom to others.

I don’t want to waste my days/life. I want to be about living wisely with a God-shaped agenda and make a difference in the lives of others as I serve them and glorify Him.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

Moment by Moment

3/3/11

As I continue to meditate on Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, 
 that we may gain a heart of wisdom. I am beginning, by God’s grace, to focus on the folks who matter. Some folks are obvious---family and friends. Kingdom folks matter too. So I’m hoping that my time with the folks God puts in my life will matter for His kingdom. Working women (at least this one) don’t seem to have large chunks of time to give to others especially, as the physical energy seems to ebb. So……….I’m asking the Lord to help me make the most of my moments so that I really serve and glorify Him as I minister to others. That’s what matters.

Leaving work yesterday, plotting in my mind how to accomplish three important details before returning to “work” at 6:30 pm, Power of a Moment by Chris Rice played on my car radio. (K-Love, 94.3FM)

And forever brushes up against a moment’s time Leaving impressions and drawing me into what really matters


You know the number of my days
 So come paint Your pictures on the canvas in my head
 And come write Your wisdom on my heart
 And teach me the power of a moment.
 The power of a moment. The power of a moment.

Those lyrics sum up well the meditation of my heart about who and what really matters. Today, may I make the most of the moments He gives me because He matters.

opportuniTEA

2/28/11

Listening to son Buddy’s, “Vaporous Valuable Time” sermon on Psalm 90 made me realize that I am desperately longing to drink deeply from a cuppa of opportuniTEA. An opportunity blended with time and sweetened with energy to minister to family and friends. Why the desperation? Meditation on that psalm coupled with recent events.

Psalm 90 is a prayer of Moses that emphasizes God’s eternity and man’s transitoriness. The psalm confronts several other "cuppas" that we are served as we age; frailTEA, we wither, fade & return to dust (v. 3-6) graviTEA, of our iniquities (v.8) and BreviTEA our days are limited (v. 10). That’s a lot to swallow but as we age those cuppas are ever before us. I want to make the most of my days, don’t you?

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

SHOW CANCELED

2/25/11

That’s what the sign taped to the door said. Disappointment. Having a production cancelled is not the end of the world……but it’s still disappointing. I had arranged everything---yea, right. Guess who is not in charge of the world? I had so wanted to have the perfect time with my T-Cup friends by treating them (thanks to HF) to dinner and G’town Community Theatre’s production of Dixie Swim Club, which focuses on the friendship of 5 women that spanned 33 years. The blurb says---their lives unfold, the years pass, these women increasingly rely on one another, through advice and repartee, to get through all those challenges life flings at them….as they rally around each other with strength and love—a hilarious and touching comedy about friendships that last forever.”

Disappointments over shows/plans cancelled are a part of life---and in the scheme of things, I know this was not major. Yet, I felt bad for them and they probably felt bad for me---because we had really looked forward to sharing this “event” together.

I had to ask myself once again. What are the life lessons in this?

Immediately I Thessalonians 5:18 came to mind. “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Thank you, Lord----

· for a hubby who helped “prepare” house for “company,”

· for friends who finish setting a table & find the glasses because I completely forgot to put them out,

· for “watched & unwatched” bread that didn’t burn, for friends to remind me to serve said bread---halfway through the meal,

· time to share a meal with friends, times to celebrate over births, baptisms, successful surgeries & anticipation of more grandchildren, time to grieve a parent’s terminal diagnosis,

· friends to listen & advise about challenges with economy,

· safety from unknown reasons as a theatre is renovated at the "last" minute

Shows/plans canceled are a part of life---but they’re not an end all---they can just be an opportunity to thank God and to be joyfully expectant for Act 2 or Plan B.

Idiosyncratic Behavior.....

2/24/11.....of librarians. This blog is under construction so please e-mail me or leave a comment on your thoughts in this area. I'm talking more than just stereotypical perceptions here. For example, I don't have a cat named Dewey. Those who know me well know that being ailurophobic, I would never even have a cat. I know it's an abnormal fear but it is persistent. I also know that the Lord has "not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind." (James1:7) So I take what's left of my sound mind and ask my loving hubby to be my "power" in this matter and run interference on my behalf----which he does willingly, saying that it's cheaper than psychotherapy.

WEDNESDAY WARRIOR

2/23/11 Today is “Weeping Wednesday” for me---a day of confession----a lot like AA step 4, I think, where you make a thorough /searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself. Today I confessed a real lack in fervent prayers for others and the need to pray scripture on their behalf. So, for my Wednesdays sisters and Wednesday wordsmiths, today I inserted their names as I prayed Psalm 25: 4-5.

Is there anyone you need to pray fervently for today? Just open your Bible to the middle----Psalms is still right there. Or you could just choose one of these versions to pray for your Wednesday folks or whomever the Lord brings to mind.

4Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths. 5Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. (KJV)

4 Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. 
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, 
and my hope is in you all day long. (NIV)

4 Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
 5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
 All day long I put my hope in you. (NLT)

4Make me know Your ways, O LORD;Teach me Your paths. 5Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day. (NASB)

Anyway you say it or pray it, these verses are perfect for Wednesday Warriors.

SELF-SACRIFICE

2/21/11 Self-sacrifice. Sacrifice for others. It’s our spiritual service. Yet self-sacrifice is a most difficult thing for us to do. It’s a surrender of sorts. It comes with joy but only as we sacrifice all the details of our lives without conditions. Lord I will gladly serve you in Africa but just don’t make me walk across the street to my cranky neighbor and share your love.

Sacrifice is not easy. Yet, when we sacrifice with our eyes focused on Him, it becomes easier. His life becomes more evident in our life. As the child once said, “Jesus begins to stick out all over.”

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Romans 12:1)

Consider these words of Oswald Chambers and then contemplate these verses. “You must be willing to be placed on the altar and go through the fire; willing to experience what the altar represents-burning, purification, and separation for only one purpose-the elimination of every desire and affection not grounded in or directed toward God. But you don’t eliminate it, God does."

“Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar” (Psalm 118:27).

You “bind the sacrifice . . . to the horns of the altar” and see to it that you don’t wallow in self-pity once the fire begins. After you have gone through the fire, there will be nothing that will be able to trouble or depress you. When another crisis arises, you will realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. (O. Chambers) What fire lies ahead in your life?

Are you willing to tell God you are ready to be poured out as an offering, Maybe you can start with the ones dear to you as it says in I Thessalonians 1:8, “so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” Sharing one’s life with another is true sacrifice.

GRIEF REVISITED

2/20/11

Past journal entries from this week in ’09 already had me feeling sad. Recent concerns for Daddy exacerbated this feeling. But nothing quite had me prepared for the pain and sadness I would feel as I once again shared “loss” with my sister-in-law, Louise. She and brother, Bobby are selling their Hoptown home of almost 34 years. They already have a condo in Nashville, near their daughter, Polly, and her family which includes their only grandchildren, but this will be the closing of the house where they raised both of their daughters. It is the only house where their Allyson lived (apart from a several weeks at UK) from the age of 1 month until she died in a car accident in 1995. It’s hard packing all the “stuff” that accrues after living in a home for so many years but…..how do you pack up a life?

Louise and Bobby had done the best they could over the years dealing with each new stage of grief as it came---but it never was easy …..and still is often incredibly hard even in the midst of gratitude for the 18 years they had with her. Yesterday was one of the hard times and though I wanted to ease her pain, I found it even hard just to swallow when I would pick up a card that Allyson had written to her mother or the framed handprints of when she was 4. Treasures. We talked and shared and culled and saved and then “hit a wall” as Louise dubbed it when we held up the red prom dress from her junior year in high school and her “Allyson” outfit for senior “dress-up day” that Louise had made for her. I took pictures of a closet full of those dresses and monogrammed dance team jackets so that when she does decide to pass them on to “prom dresses for disadvantaged girls” she’ll have the pictures.

Though I didn’t hit the wall as Louise did, I was certainly sobered when I picked up Allyson’s handwritten paper from middle school entitled, “My Future in the 90’s.” In the essay she mentioned making good grades in middle school, high school and going on to college. She also included supporting her friends at every juncture---which she did so well, never excluding anyone from her life. Her concluding paragraphs mentioned that following college, she would have a job and maybe she would marry and be a mom in the 21^st Century. Worthy plans and dreams for an 8^th grader. Plans interrupted. Her plans, her future, her hope are in the Lord…..for she lives for ever with the “Lord of the Dance.”

I'll live in you if you'll live in me,

I am the Lord of the dance, said he (Lord of the Dance lyrics)

SPEED BUMPS AHEAD

2/18/11 Baby Boomers Alert----It’s not easy being in one’s Medicare application year. So many unknowns loom and the volumes of information alone just add to the confusion. It’s disconcerting when the doctor no longer sees you as agile but notes that you are “spry.” Isn’t that a term for old folks? Hm-m-m. Even more disconcerting is when a doc won’t even see you anymore because you are on Medicare. “At your age” is another doc response when one questions certain ailments.
I’m not exactly speeding through life at this juncture, though the years do seem to be flying by. Plus, I seem more likely to tumble over the bumps that keep popping up in my path----like the riser on the HHS stage. In front of the “All Shook Up” cast I went careening to the floor after tripping on it. It’s just my new season.

Actually most “new” seasons in one’s life need to be approached with caution. There are bumps in the road---some are needed so that we don’t fall headlong into disaster.* Speed bumps are there to slow us down with an awareness of what’s ahead. What if we don’t really know what’s ahead? (Many times we don’t, even if we think we do.) Parenthood comes to mind. So many variables. First-time parents can’t even begin to imagine all of the twists and turns and challenges and delights ahead.

The final season, regardless of age, might come speeding in without warning---the death this week of a friend’s 27 yr. old grandson is proof of that. Another has a short final season--- “3 month” prognosis. Others, like Daddy and Mommar begin a memory slide that makes the season especially hard for family, while others their age are traveling, playing bridge or e-mailing, "skype"ing, and downhill skiing.

So what’s the answer to the fear of the “bumps”? How does one make the most of life’s seasons? TRUST---whether the bumps sneak up on you or you’re sailing through life at a “perfect” speed, the answer is found in trusting the Lord in the midst of your own season.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way. 
24 *When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. 25 I have been young and now I am old,
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
Or his descendants begging bread. (Psalm 37:23-25)