"In-between times"

11/28/10 That phrase sort of reminds me of the dash on a tombstone---the time between birth and death. During this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want to make the most of the time given without wiping out my good intentions with self-induced stress. Certainly my plate is full---I actually just leave my suitcase open in the hallway for easy repacking between trips. Yet, as Jesus Calling entries have reminded me everyday for a week, the key to making the most of “in-between” times is:

• Thank me. (11/21).
  
• Thankful attitude. (11/22)
  
• Thankful stance. (11/23)
  
• Thankfulness removes the sting of adversity. (11/24)
  
• Thank me in every situation. (11/25)
  
• Walk….the high road of thanksgiving. (11/26)
• Let thankfulness rule in your heart. (11/27)
  
• …life steeped in thankfulness. (11/28)

I was affirmed in my “in-between” musings as I just opened and read my son’s newsletter to Allen Bible Church & friends. Pithy with a punch---he says it much better than I could. (Bold print = my emphasis.)

A friend of mine once said, "There are three words every human being should learn to say: “Hello,” “Goodbye,” and in between, “Thank You." Recently, as a church family, we have said goodbye with tears of grief to loved ones and hello with tears of joy to new little ones. And the Lord is teaching us the brevity of life and the blessings of family and each other. In this season and our study of Philippians, He's reminding us that our citizenship is in heaven and we're "in between," and that each day "in between" is the time to learn to say, "Thank You."
I pray that you will truly take in this Thanksgiving as a gift from Him to be with your family, even the ones who bring to mind words other than "thank You." Scripture seems to indicate that life "in between" is best lived and at its richest when we give thanks because He is good. He is good. Whether your meal is a sandwich or a smorgasboard, I pray you and I marvel and thank Him for His goodness in giving us families, "best buds" but even taste buds, so we can savor the textures and flavors of this season and "taste and see that the Lord is good!" (Buddy Liles)

Thankfulness is the language of love for these "in between times."

BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS

11/26/10 I am not a shopper & have never been a shopper---but I was the daughter of one and am married to one. That's the good news! The bad news is the "ticker-tape" thoughts. You know the kind---those thoughts that allow the jettison of large amounts of shredded guilt and concerns to abound. The agonizing "bad at shopping" ones that continually float through, no matter how often I try to throw them out. All the ads and commercials fuel these feelings. I mull on all my inadequacies in this area and assume that's the reason I don't already have all my shopping done and gifts wrapped. Then I begin the control aspect. The overplanning starts. The list is made. A list that is impossible to accomplish in a given month, much less weeks. Good things are on that list---but I can't do them all. Panic takes hold. That's when the "grayness of my thoughts" (S. Young, Jesus Calling 11/26) begin to loom in my psyche. It's sad how quickly the gray can give way to black and all seems hopeless.
On this "black Friday" may I seek the light of his Presence. May I replace my guilt and fear with thankfulness. I might not tear up my list but I hope to "tweak" it with His input and not be afraid to "erase" the non-essentials.

THANKSGIVING TREATS

11/25/10 Daddy took Larry and me to lunch as “his” guests to the “Friendship House.” Actually, brother Bobby and Larry worked out the details because Daddy had even forgotten to sign up for himself. He had just responded to my comment of all I was cooking for our Thanksgiving lunch with, “I eat at Friendship House everyday.” So, as not to mess with his routine, I put the dinner in the freezer for another time.
As we left to walk over for the lunch, the rain started and Daddy, somewhat flustered, asked how we would get there. He sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know how to drive there. Whew, that put a lump in my throat!
Upon arrival, we entered a different door than Daddy’s “normal” entrance---this too caused momentary concern on his part---as if he feared being lost or not knowing how to escort me in. Heartbreaking.
Finding a table, with his name on it, he admitted that this wasn’t where he normally sat but we assured him this was his table because his name was written with “2 guests” included. Reading that helped a lot and the dinner turned out to be a real "tasty" treat.
It was also an eye-opening event for me. Walkers were everywhere----some lining the wall. Red, green, black, gray and several shades of blue. All with wheels, hand brakes and a little seat---some put their plates on that part. One lady lifted hers to deposit an extra roll. I assume for her later consumption. Daddy’s is black, though he didn’t need his because I was his walker. Almost every table had at least one pulled up beside it, though a few had canes and two folks were in wheelchairs.
The treat in all of this was not only being with Daddy but also in being privileged to see how family and caregivers don’t just discard the elderly.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her………. (The Message)

Aging is difficult. As Daddy realizes how much ground he is losing both mentally and physically, it’s hard on him. It’s hard on all of us. It’s not life as we once knew it. Daddy is not a complainer but this season has recently discovered difficulties for him. He needs help in new ways. I see his fear when he announces that he can’t quite remember how to shave or admit that he can no longer find his way.
Yet, he still knows I am his daughter and he proudly introduced me to Pedro and Bertha, one couple whom he still recognizes from years ago. What a treat that was. He also introduced me to the lady at the next table. (Pauline Joyner, age 97) Then he leaned in and whispered, I have no idea who she is. What a treat to share that joke with him---though his “stage whisper” could probably be heard by half the room.
What a privilege it is to spend time with Daddy and honor him by giving back.

Ephesians 6:1) "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." (The Message)

TRUE CONFESSIONS

11/23/10 They say confession is good for the soul. In this case, it’s not me I’m concerned about, but you, my blog reader. My confession is for you. I don’t want my blog entries to set myself up as a user of Jesus as a “quick fix”---though He certainly can be if He chooses.

If you read yesterday’s entry, it probably seemed that I went from anxiety to calm in a matter of moments. What was not written was the times of anguish and out of control behavior that preceded that calm. Often times the blog entries are a synopsis of the event---from my poor choices to my right choices so that all is well. Trust me, all would be well a lot sooner if I would just keep my focus on Him. Some days I’m better at that than others. The good news is that regardless of my choices, He remains faithful. I want to inspire others with that truth---even when my actions seem to disregard it.

So--------------here’s the confession. Before I got to the washing away of the anxiety by being in His word and having a cup of tea alongside, I had complained to my hubby, had some “justified” anger that caused tears and tossed and turned several nights. I decided to “do something” for someone else. (still not sure if it was totally for someone else.) I made peanut brittle for Daddy. Old handwritten cooking times on the recipe were obviously for the old microwave because I burned the whole batch. I had a real come apart. Then I preceded to eat almost the entire SCORCHED batch

Anxie---TEA

10/22/10 Anxie---TEA. Not the drink of choice but I have certainly been drinking a lot of it lately. (Hm-m-m, maybe it is a choice.) I do know it’s so strong it has my stomach feeling pitted. It’s just all of life’s “stuff” and much of it I can’t change. I can only change my at-TEA-ude about it. One of the big problems of the continual sipping of this anxie—TEA is that it tends to overflow and “burn” others in my life. More often than not, the one’s closest to me. I need to put this cuppa down and refuse to pick it up.

I need a cuppa of soothing, calming serene---TEA! The best way to get that it is to sweeten whatever tea you’ve been given with
thanksgiving. I chose some chamomile and these verses from Paul.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

BTW---In the midst of all of this, in the dark thirty of arrival at work ,I broke my favorite tea cup---favorite because of its size & because I bought it in Cambridge, England. I remember running in the rain (getting drenched) with Larry & Abe & Peggy. (2002) Our little walkway lead us serendipitously down a lane to a tucked away tea room---so warm & cozy and their pot of tea hit the spot. Paying our tab I saw the little blue & white tea cup on a “sale” shelf----well the rest is history and on a rainy Tuesday a week ago the teacup itself became history. I call it my ”stress” fracture. Stress caused it & now both I and my cup are fractured.

Happy Birthday, Josh!

11/21/10 It seems that 35 years have flown by since I first brought my second son home from the hospital. I remember his little cap of dark hair so similar to what I saw on his nephew, Andrew’s, little head just last week. I also remember that he was born early in the morning and they only let me stay one night. 5 years earlier, with his brother’s birth, I had stayed 3 or 4 nights. On his our first night home in our big old Memphis State faculty house on Central, (I was teaching at the university at that time.) Josh got choked on all that fluid that still needed to be suctioned out. I panicked and it was Larry’s mother, Mommar, who came to the rescue.
He also had his days and nights mixed up and about the only thing that would make him sleep would be riding in the car. Many a late night, we would bundle him up and go for a spin---no seat belts, just a babe in arms or a car bed. (Haven’t times changed!)
I also remember my Christmas present from Larry that year (1975)---he stayed up with Josh all night, mostly walking the floor with him. I got a full night’s rest for the first time in over a month. Now that’s a gift.
Of course, Josh has been the real gift. And with him, as with each of his siblings, I’ve had other sleepless nights during those teen years but never once has he shown anything but love and respect for us and has brought us great joy.
Through the years, my gift to him has been prayer. I’ve prayed Proverbs 21 for him for both direction and protection……from verse 3, that Josh may always choose “To do what is right and just” because that “is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice,” and I praise the Lord for his generosity to us and others as he chooses not to “shut his ears to the cry of the poor” (v.13) as he continues not to show partiality.
Tonight his wife, Megan, has given him a gift of tickets to the Patriots/Colts game in Foxboro, MA. Now that’s his kind of gift!
(I keep scanning the fans as the camera pans the stadium to see if they focus on my baby boy on his birthday---so like a mom.)

Estate Sale

11/20/10 Passing the corner of Shady Grove & E. Shady Gove, I saw the Jerry Copeland Estate Sales sign in a familiar yard. I was “taken aback” as Mama Davenport used to say.

Usually an estate sale is held to “dispose of a substantial portion of the materials owned by a person who is recently deceased, or who must dispose of his personal property to facilitate a move.” (Dictionary.com) If not death, then downsizing, possibly to assisted living, comes to my mind. I was wondering about the reason for this sale because I have a connection, albeit small, to that home.

The house is close enough to my neighborhood that I pass it fairly regularly. I rarely pass it that I don’t have memories come flooding back. I think back to the “woman of the house” who so willingly opened those doors of her home to a bunch of young Pi Phi (college sorority) alums. It was there that we planned an event for the on-campus girls, which would also be held at her house. Her home was warm and inviting because she was so hospitable. I’ve never seen a “for sale” sign there since those years in the early-70s so I assume she continued to live there. For years I could recall her name. Today I couldn’t. That saddens me.

What I do remember is the warm feeling I got every time I passed that house. I was reminded of the fun times with sorority sisters both as actives and alums---many who now are sisters in faith. Even in our college days, we learned to consider one another more important than ourselves and to be mindful of our thought life---keeping it pure. What we didn’t consider was how short life can be or how quickly the angst of aging can come. At least, it seems to me to come very quickly.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. (James 4:4)

Consider this....

11/17/10 Consider how difficult it is to post a blog entry when said entry is on a flash drive that is not available----temporarily misplaced, maybe?? Imagine that!
11/18/10 FOUND! Consider how thankful I am to have my flash drive.

(Original entry) Jennifer, my H2H friend, sent me day 2 of CRM’s (Church Resource Ministry) “A Wonderful Week of Devotions focused on Thanksgiving.”

Day 2 
Allow your heart to assume a posture of gratitude.

That sentence started me considering all that I had to be thankful for in the middle of an otherwise muddled week. So many things were pulling at me---robbing me of my joy and yet I was being “nudged” to consider thinking on other things. How about you? Do you need to reconsider your thought life? As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he: (Proverbs 23:7) Maybe changing our thinking will change our heart and a posture of gratitude will follow.

Who is wise? Let him give heed to these things,
And consider the lovingkindnesses of the LORD. (Psalm 107:43) Certainly God’s goodness and kindness is something to be thankful for.

As your heart fills with gratitude and those feelings of thanksgiving begin to grow, consider telling others. (overflow) Otherwise it will be similar to wrapping a gift and keeping it all to yourself.

Today, let’s give thanks together. (Verbally) Consider the impact that would have on those whom the Lord has cross our path.

Meatless Monday

11/15/10 Food Network’s iron chef, Mario Batali, may have “meatless Mondays” at his restaurants but no “meatless Mondays” here. We all need to chew on the meat of God’s word even though I’m a little late dishing it up for you.

14 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! (meat) 13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid food (meat) is for the mature, who by constant use, have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:12-14)

THOT---don’t just look at the meat, chew on it and flesh it out----it’s the constant use of the meat from God’s word that helps one discern good from evil.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD .......

11/12/10 More info as soon as it becomes available. Buddy and Day have been at the hospital since 7 a.m.

ANDREW LAWRENCE LILES (strong lungs evident as his 4 big brothers viewed him through the nursery window) cap of dark hair
6 lbs. 14 oz. 19 1/2"
1:29 p.m.
Dallas
Margot Perot Hospital (Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital)

Mommy, Day, had breathing problems following delivery---docs have decided to keep her in lavor and delivery area for observation as a precaution only. She just ate some dinner so she should be well on her way to full recovery----that's our prayer.