TRANSITIONS

3/27/11

A life in flux. Just like the ever changing weather lately----the storms and dreary days with lower temps just keep rolling in and out. My closet reflects those transitions.

A life in flux, indeed. That phrase sums up these last 18 days. I’ve transitioned from a gal who loaded her pill box with just 3 hormones per week plus vitamins and calcium to the “old people box” of real drugs and an aspirin per day. (3/9-3/25)

My role of a daughter of a physically healthy 89 year old dad was changed (3/13) when he became a recovering stroke victim with both increased memory loss & cognitive decline along with speech and physical impairment. With Larry’s mom, (Mommar), I transitioned emotionally from “experiencing” her dementia/Alzheimer's life to the sudden diagnosis (3/16) of metastasized cancer with the anticipation of much pain and required hospice.

Even abrupt changes in “roles” were evident this weekend; daughter/therapist for Daddy at a rehab center in Nashville, daughter-in-law encourager for Larry’s mom who just didn’t want to get out of bed, grandmother (aka Shug) for Owen as we shared the experience of Madagascar Live!

Flux. Change. Times of transition. Whatever the nomenclature, it is my life. I have been both anxious and discouraged.

But God……..

“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held” is the transition chorus that was sung at church today between the lyrics of “Day after Day” and the old hymn “It is Well With My Soul.”

Day after day our God is reigning


He’s never shaken,

my hope is in the Lord


Time after time our God is faithful


Trustworthy Savior,

my hope is in the Lord.

---“It is well. It is well, through the storm I am held.”

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

What a great “life” transition reminder for me---“It is well, It is well, through the storm I am held.” (Although maybe storm should be plural.)

GOD-PLACED

3/17/11

Date--3/15/11-3/16/11

Place-- Jennie Stuart Memorial Hospital Hopkinsville, KY

Room 503--At Daddy’s bedside.

There’s no place else I’d rather be today.

Does he know me? No. Can he tell me his name ? No.

Is there hope for a better tomorrow---yes, but never the way it once was.

Highlights: (This is where the focus needs to be.)

Surrounded by family

Daddy’s answers to questions when speech isn’t garbled

Louise asks, “What can I do for you?” Daddy answers, “Politics.”

I ask if he wants more jello. Daddy answers, “Sales have fallen off.” I wonder if that means he thinks we can’t afford more jello.

Laughter---not at him but with each other

Time alone with him through the night

12 “wet” changes between 9 p.m. & 6 a.m. ---often included gown, pads, sheets & sometimes blanket---that’s positive, because “wet” is preferable. (Medicare won’t pay if he gets an infection, so doc doesn’t want a catheter—oh, the insurance “adjustments” of our red tape world.)

Reading Psalms aloud to him. Reminding him that Psalm 121 was Mama Davenport’s favorite. He ate lunch at her house every Wednesday for years and years. Daddy loves a big lunch---always has. Still does.

“Code Red” doors slamming and lights flashing didn’t scare him as the “drill” took place. I, on the other hand, didn’t have a clue what was going on and was nervous.

2 a.m. – 3 a.m.---jello picnic. I became his new best friend when I commandeered some cherry jello from the code locked room. Waitresses at Roundie’s, Daddy’s later years lunch-time haunt, knew to always bring him the “daily flavor” jello after his meal so he could really savor it.

Help from nurses though tremendously short-staffed. Daddy’s first un-garbled and coherent response to nurses question, “Why do you keep kicking off the covers? Are you hot?” Daddy’s response, “I don’t like it.” His answer made sense. It was clear & we could understand all four words. I could have done back flips. What a biggie----a great answer, from a man who never, (rarely) complains.

Daddy’s smiles. He doesn’t know where he is or who he is but he’s not in pain.

So-o-o God-placed. There was no place else I’d rather be!

‘honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 19:19)

NECESSARY Pruning

3/13/11 Yesterday, I spent time with hubby in the yard with clippers and pruning shears. Felder Rushing, former Memphian, and 10th-generation American gardener, would be rolling his eyes because the Liles prune when time allows. Convenience often rules our lives even to our lawn care. I spent less time outside than hubby did though I did try not only to direct his efforts but also to try my hand with the pruning shears as well. Fatigue took me inside before the job was completed but I took a spiritual lesson with me as I closed the door to the outside world and sat at the feet of my Master Gardener.

(John 15) ¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Pruning both in the garden and in our spiritual lives is necessary for healthy growth. We have to get rid of the superfluous and useless parts that compete with the healthy growth. Pruning helps to bring balance and it guides the shaping of the plant (or person) to be all it (or she) was intended to be by the one who planted it.

These last 6-8 weeks, the Lord has begun an awareness of pruning that is needed in my life. I don’t have enough time in my day for everything. My time needs trimming and shaping. I need to know my Master Gardener’s plan for me for this season in my life. I know that pruning is painful. I just need to remember that God will never leave me and His pruning is loving surgery to allow me to let His “Sonlight” go deeper than it ever has before. If it becomes the blessing that my cancer was, I know I’m going to love the results. **

A Well pruned life---what does it look like? I’ve seen it in the lives of others---Marge Andrews, Geary Irwin, Mary Ann Frazier. But I don’t know what it looks like in my own life----but God ….God willing and guiding (“apart from Me, you can do nothing.” John 15:6), I’m going to find out because I have recently enrolled in Basic Pruning 101, A Guide to NECESSARY Pruning. Care to join me? The text is God’s Word and is free on-line.

**Before I even could post this blog entry, I received an upsetting phone call. I had planned to be in KY this week for the first part of Spring Break. My cardiologist visit on Wednesday and another carotid artery “episode” thwarted those plans.

This phone call was from brother, Bobby, with an update on Daddy. Friday, Daddy had trouble eating lunch because his right hand was swollen & wouldn’t work for him. Care clinic and ER visits showed no stroke but an appointment was set for Monday with his internist. Late this afternoon an ambulance took him to Jennie Stuart hospital. Daddy has had a stroke and though we’re hopeful it’s mild, he couldn’t recall Bobby’s name or remember his own birth date.

Please join me in praying God’s best for Daddy.