"insecuri-TEA"

What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight: what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roof-tops. (Matthew 10:27, NIV)

Sometimes, God gives me blog ideas in the night. Sometimes I easlily recall them the next day. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I write them down, Most times I don't. Normally, I don't tell of these infrequent occurrences. It feels embarrassing. It might sound self-righteous. What would others think? Would I sound like a mystic?

I'm not a mystic. I'm ordinary.  I don't hear an audible voice---but God still "speaks to me." An impression. A sense. A middle of the night idea. A struggle. A serendipitous circumstance. A check in my spirit. A deep longing that fills my heart. 

I hear from God by reading His word. Even a single verse. 

Today's verse, which I had also embedded in a '09 cancer journey blog, spoke to me in a different way, But God used it then, as now. Same verse different lesson.

But....speaking "it" (that I hear from God) and proclaiming "it" (from the rooftops) does not come easily. I need to rid myself of this cuppa insecuri-TEA so that God can use me as He sees fit. 

So here's today's SHOUT-OUT----God speaks to me. I can't explain it....

but God does speak. I have lots of "But God" moments in my life---this is just one of them.

Hearing/Heeding

2/16/09 Meditating on hearing/heeding----
My obsessive self-control (ar) showed itself again on Valentine’s Day, as I felt I could only write in my journals, if I had a red pen-----so I used one-----I wrote----I felt better, and silly, at the same time. A lot of V-Day was spent at the hospital with Grandaddy so I didn’t have lots of time for reading until almost “lights out” time, when I’m usually way past any point of comprehension ability. I read My Utmost for His Highest entry for that day and I’ve reread it every day since.

"What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops." Matthew 10:27

"At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Songbirds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him." (need ears to hear, Dotsy) "What I tell you in darkness"---watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut." (Docs are taking care of that part---sewing it shut for a couple of weeks---maybe I can learn before then and that procedure won’t be needed.)
"Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen…….but, listen and heed………..hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light."
The teacher in me senses an “Assignment: Ears” coming down the pike. Hard to believe it’s been 42 years since that first teaching job at Richland Elementary as J. Cawthorn’s afternoon kindergarten aide----my main impetus being financial gain ---$50 a month. I wanted to earn “spending money” for my first European tour w/ the Memphis State Art Dept. $$ has always been an area where the Lord has had to be patient with me---slow learner here. But God………Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abunDANCE. Incline your ear & come to Me. Listen that you may live; (Isaiah 55: 2-3)

I'm glad that today I backed off of “perfection” and sought a quietude of sorts---that calm, peacefulness that comes from Him---whether in the solitude, that I seem to require great amounts of lately, or in the midst of life’s bustle----that usually can only occur after I’ve had time in the Word----then it’s an overflow of sorts. I plan to mediate on "listen that you may live" ---because with me living doesn't count unless it's done with Him----that's why I equate living/life with dancing----He's always alongside----maybe if I'll listen close enough I'll hear Him humming our song.