Tuesday, December 11, 2012

SUFFERING....interrupting my plans


12/11/12 Suffering that's physical, but temporary---so what's the BIG deal, Dotsy? Too tired and weak to get out of bed. Too miserable to sleep.  Fever. Chills. Head ache. Sore throat. Cough. Yet, I know that in the scheme of things, my malady is minor.  But… right now it feels like MINOR in all caps! It’s interrupting my plans. Plans to be with friends in celebration and plans to be with other friends in the midst of their suffering. “Worthy plans,”are they not?

I have just had a fun, refreshing Austin, TX, trip with chums---it's our 23rd annual, and that was followed by a glorious visit to Doris' farm, not a sweeter place on earth for soul restoration. So, truly I should have NO complaints. Get over yourself, Dots!

One of my blog readers has chronic, severe headaches and she continues to find God's grace in every aspect of her 3-year search for answers.  This year I even had the privilege of transporting a “spiritual giant” to chemo and I NEVER hear her complain though I'm sure chemo was not originally her plan.

Another dear friend just emailed encouraging words because she, too, is now going to have the privilege of being there for a neighbor/friend as she starts her chemo journey. She’s where I want to be once again. Tonight I learned that sweet J.H.’s lymph node results were not what we had all hoped for. We had prayed “God’s best” for her. So….this must be part of His plan. But….my plan is to be there for her. His plan is that I will wait until I am healthy. I just need to trust His plan.

In fellow cancer sojourner, Michèle Phoenix’s, song, “You Are” (about her MAC cancer journey) she wrote,
"That this journey I follow with its joy and its sorrow,
is a gift I embrace 'cause it flows from Your grace.
I will trust in Your goodness in my season of weakness 
'cause it is what it is---but I know that You are who You are!"

 I have learned these last few years that it is in the classroom of suffering, (whether spiritual or physical---with ranges from minor to terminal), that the Lord teaches us life lessons. Lessons that build trust. Trust in Him, not self.
We're not doubting that God will do the best for us, we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. -CS Lewis
So, my plan tonight, in my semi-drug-induced state, is to head to bed with Romans 12:12 in my heart and on my lips and to pray for the aforementioned folks in the midst of their “hard place,” that they might be “joyful in hope, patient in affliction and fervent in prayer.” Maybe I need to add myself to that plan!

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