Surely Goodness

8/31/09 Surely. Surely. Surely.
Roget gives all kinds of synonyms for this word; Absolutely, Certainly, Clearly, Definitely, For sure, Incontestably, Indisputably, Indubitably, Indeed, Of course, Unquestionably and Without a doubt.

Surely goodness and mercy (love, KJV) shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Think about this verse. After all, it is Monday...and Monday's are for meditation!

3/2/09 entry
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: A two-year old at my son’s church recited the 23rd Psalm which her dad posted on GodTube. It is precious. It also spoke volumes to me when she kept trying to add “surely” before many of the verses---that’s the way I see it now—surely He restores my soul, surely He is with me and surely His goodness and mercy will pursue me---It’s a sure thing.

It is surely His goodness so we can count on it---it is indeed a sure thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3buLQoCN6KY

GRACIOUS GOODNESS

8/30/09 Goodness gracious sakes alive, I think I’ve taken so long to get through the fruit of the Spirit that many have forgotten why I am writing about these traits. That is one of many sayings that I learned at the feet of my grandmother, Margaret Louise (Mama) Davenport---a lady of gracious goodness. You see, like UCLA coach, John Wooden, that was as close to profanity that she ever got--- ''My goodness gracious!'' just a grandmotherly trademark, of sorts.

I also learned, “What in the Sam Hill?” from her. That was her other equivalent of cussin’ though I’m sure she had no idea that it was a euphemism for “what the devil.” She just heard Jimmy Stewart use it in What a Wonderful Life, that classic black and white TV show we watched every Christmas for as long as I can remember. She was too full of goodness to have even known how to “put on” swearing or as Galatians 5:20 labels it, discord (NIV) or outbursts of anger. (NASB) In her Spirit led life she “put off” all those vices.

Galatians 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21 envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these,….

Mama Davenport gave no space in her life to "things like these." She “put on” the Fruit of the Spirit day in and day out as no one else I have ever known.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control….

Reminder: Theses qualities (plural noun form ) are a part of the Fruit of the Spirit. Fruit is singular---it’s all of these qualities together that make up the single picture that reflects the Christian life/walk. What does your picture look like? What are you reflecting to the world? I remember Mama’s goodness because God’s goodness was so evident in her life. How will someone remember you? Will His goodness shine through”

Suffice it to say, just as many of us learned gracious goodness (all those manners we were taught to “put on”) at the feet of our parents and grandparents, we will learn of His goodness as we sit at His feet.

GOODNESS: "FRUIT TRAIT” #6

8/27/09
Discipleship Tools taught me that goodness is the engagement of love! I think most of these qualities of the fruit of the Spirit are an overflow of love, His love. Cole taught me that the Greek word for goodness is the same as for virtue. Virtue is moral excellence and is the character trait that is valued as being good. What does it look like? People of goodness display integrity, honesty and compassion to others. Goodness compels/allows us to do the right thing---even when we don’t feel like it. The opposite of virtue is vice. Interestingly enough, the definition of vice lists everything from an immoral habit i.e. prostitution, gambling and drugs to mild failing in character. Hm-m-m a vice is a vice just like a sin is a sin---no real degrees of sinning even though our human nature tends to “rank” our sins. Obviously the more our lives are filled with goodness/virtue, the less room there is for those vices. So then the more we are filled with Him…..well you get the idea. Move over Self!
So, how do keep from wandering away from His goodness. One of my all-time favorite hymns, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” holds a reference to His goodness in the last verse.

O, to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

It’s His goodness that keeps me from wandering, His goodness that restrains me from SELF. In my flesh, I’m so prone to wander. And it’s His goodness that keeps us merciful and scrupulous as we deal with others. Goodness is virtue in action and endears us to others. Ah but for the grace and goodness of God………
Tonight just “goodness facts” but next time it could get personal. That’s what God does every time I Trust Him On This Subject (or scripture)---He brings it on home to my plate. So I’m going to “serve” those THOTS up to you. Hope it won’t be too hard to digest.

PRAYERFUL PLEA

8/26/09 Prayerful Plea is the request from one whose writings have blessed so many of us, Sarah Young.
During these past eight months of my MAC journey so many of you have told me that you are “on the same page.” It’s become our way of sharing the fact that we’re reading the devotional, Jesus Calling, every day. Many times we have joked that the daily entry was written just with us in mind. I don’t know what Jesus Calling said to you today, but this part _______ (fill in the blank yourself) was written just for me!! My part from the August 26 entry dealt with needing to detach from the disturbances around me and to quit striving for control.

Sarah Young is the author of our shared book and she is asking for folks to prayerfully plead on her behalf. Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail I received this week from Cindy Cole in response to questions about Sarah’s health.

Sarah Young . . .who is in Kansas City undergoing treatment for Lyme Disease . . .in a letter from Sarah dated August 5th, she said, “Stephen (her husband) has to leave Kansas City August 18th . . .a wonderful Christian family will take care of me after he leaves. Please pray for them and for me during this difficult time. My level of disability has increased markedly since I’ve been on IV antibiotics, especially the vertigo, weird brain sensations, and weakness. I’m scheduled to begin IV antibiotics again on Monday . . . I’ll need prayer that my liver will cope with the treatment this time . . . and that the treatment will be effective. My twelve weeks of treatment will end on October 15th or l6th, and I need to get strong enough to travel all the way back to Perth. This is not only a prayer request, it is a PRAYER PLEA. I have never felt so helpless in all my life!” Sarah began IV therapy on July 23rd . . . has a treatment every morning at 6:45am and another every afternoon. She said, “This is a grueling regimen . . . seven days a week for three months.” Steve and Sarah are missionaries in Australia.

As one of her faithful readers, I feel it is a privilege to go before the Throne of Grace on her behalf. I hope you’ll join me. A card of encouragement might be nice as well!!

Sarah Young
c/o Donna Mastalio
10804 W. 118th Terrace
Overland Park, Kansas 66210

Gotta Dance

8/25/09 Gotta Dance!
The Young Life Training Book from the 1970’s had kids discussing what it meant to “Put On” godliness and what that looked like in the scriptures. There was also the “Put Off” aspect---behaviors “unbecoming” (a Mama Davenport term) to a believer.

I’ve been “putting on” the wrong things lately and blaming it on fatigue, time constraints and responsibilities. I’ve put on fear and irritability----I’ve forgotten how to “dance.” So tonight, I’ve decided to get out my dancing shoes---maybe not tap shoes or my soft leather ones for bopping but a smooth shoe for a dance more akin to waltzing. I’m not exactly up to the shindigs of the past but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to sit it out either. There’s still so much life to live---just maybe not at the old pace yet.

So if you see me gliding down the hall at work, I hope you’ll realized who’s leading me (maybe even holding me up). As I slide on by in the “closed position” with my Partner, I trust you’ll see me in my new ball gown. I’m “putting off” my old dregs of complaint, irritation, fear and unrealistic expectations---I plan to “put on” contentment, gratitude and trust for the duration of my earthly dance. I think that will please and glorify my Partner, Jesus.

Isn’t that the chief end of man according to the Westminster Shorter Catechism? Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. I gotta dance again! I plan to do just that and to enjoy every minute of it.

I “hope you dance” as well.

OVERWHELMED

8/24/09 Overwhelmed?? Then you, along with me, need to overwhelmingly conquer.
Have you ever been so inundated with the urgencies of life that it weighs you down? Life’s happenings are a part of the reality of the world we live in---wars and terrorism ---the plight of the jobless and homeless--health, accident or weather related tragedies. Often folks we know are affected, other times it’s the faceless folks of the headlines.

Sometimes it’s our more mundane life happenings, right on our own door step, that are taking their toll. Fatigue, irritability and even anger and depression can set in because we’re just “flat out” overwhelmed. So what’s one to do?
I found myself struggling in this last week. One more time I was reacting instead of responding to ones I love dearly. Mostly I tried to hide from the situation and avoid confronting the problem---you know, my old avoiDANCE.
My friend, Michèle, hides behind her camera---I hide behind my “pen.” We both are seeking solitude and silence instead of facing the difficulty.
I don’t think burying one’s head in the sand and refusing to confront or acknowledge a problem or to even think about an unpleasant situation is the answer. Although escaping reality occasionally is certainly a common choice these days---why else would the soaps keep running and the Twilight series keep selling. (Granted, I would choose the books over the soaps any day, even though they are about vampire love---especially since even many of my friends in the faith say they can’t put them down.) Remembering that escape is only momentary is imperative to one's health. That way it doesn’t become an addiction but is used as a positive time of refreshment, albeit temporary.

What’s been getting me down is that I have the audacity to be overwhelmed about anything. I can sit here and blog in a cool house with big glass of sweet tea and a “poor me" attitude—I’m weighed down by stuff I just don’t want to deal with attitude.”
Just making decisions has been beyond me lately. No matter how much I remind myself of the insignificance of events/situations (in the grand scheme of things) that get me down, I still falter/complain.

But God…………….spoke to my heart through a verse on a bookmark. I do love bookmarks, especially ones with verses. Imagine that!
As always, the verse was so timely and after all, it is Monday.

So……….ponder--contemplate--- consider this---read a different version----deliberate---think----turn over in your mind ---write it down---mull over----reflect---think carefully (with full intent of scripture in mind), memorize and ask yourself, “What are all these things in my life that need to be conquered?”……..you get the idea. That's just "meditation" amplified.

But in all these things overwhelmingly conqueror through Him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)

It’s our Women’s Ministry verse for the year so I’ll be meditating on this for quite a few Mondays.

FEASTING ON GOD'S WORD

8/23/09
Virginia Wolf once said, One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. Most Americans, especially now that we have the “food channel,” would buy into this notion hook, line and sinker. But there is another food that helps us think well, love well, and sleep well. There is a feast awaiting us. The morsels provided are fodder for the soul. This fare that is more nourishing and without all those empty calories is found in God’s Word.

If I had a Twitter account, yesterday my “tweet” would have read, “Gone to Kroger, only b/c Darnell Farms in NC is too far away, for a watermelon! Many know why. My plan for the day was to feed my soul on John 15 and my body on watermelon. I did both and how SWEET it was! “How sweet are Thy words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth.” (Psalm 119: 103)

1”I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.2Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.” (John 15:1-3)

I learned that the word prune in verse 2 and clean in verse 3 come from the same GK root word, KATHAROS. There is indeed a cleansing that comes when we are washed (THOT--purged of ungodliness?) by The Word and thus able to bear fruit.

I also learned from some of my marginalia that we are chosen, blessed and broken for the nourishment of the world. But how can we nourish others if we have not been feeding on His Word ourselves?

Now that you’ve dined on this, I hope you sleep well. Goodnight!

♪♪♪ SINGING ♪♪♪

8/22/09 Singing, not dancing, what’s up??
Words like overwhelmed and fatigue or phrases like “rest stop needed” or “gotta dance” seemed destined to dominate this morning’s blog entry. But God……(as I sat with Bible open to John 15, seeking to abide in Him, and devotionals on my lap) led me to the need to sing---with me that’s more like a joyful noise. “Sing for joy in the Lord…Sing praises to Him…Sing to Him a new song." (Psalm 33:1-3)
"God, what direction are you trying to take me?" Focus on self needs to change---that seemed to be the answer.
Song is good for that. There was too much of me---EGO---self-absorption about my pain, my problems, my suffering, etc. EGO is an acronym for Edges God Out. When I edge Him out, I allow fear, which is a lack of trust, to creep in.
Today’s Jesus Calling said, “view trials as exercises to develop your trust-muscles” and concluded with “sing praises to Me.” God Calling reminded me to, “Learn from My Life of the suffering that saves others. So, you will sing in your pain.” I’ve asked the Lord to put a “new song” in my heart.
That’s where I am this morning, where are you?

1I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.
2He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.
3He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear
And will trust in the LORD (Psalm 40:1-3)

Watermelon-Kindness: An Analogy

8/18/09 Kindness

The mountains shall depart, but my kindness shall not depart from you. (Isaiah 54:10)

I’ve been wondering why two of the “fruit of the spirit characteristics” that I’m most lacking in are side by side in the list. (Galatians 5:22-23) Patience and Kindness.

BTW, before you read any further please remember this—Don’t compare your insides with someone else’s outsides!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve said that before but I’m having to remind myself over and over as I study these spiritual fruit characteristics. Why? Because that’s what I’ve been doing and it’s brutal. This is God’s work and His grace is sufficient in our weaknesses.

Remember when it used to be a big deal to get to eat the “heart” out of the watermelon----you know, that sweet plug you’d always want to take right from the middle! There were no seeds in that location, just cold, refreshing, sweet red fruit----without a doubt, one of the sweetest treats of summertime in the South. But rarely did anyone in my family have access to the heart, except Daddy that is. Mother would always cut a piece for him with lots of heart. In my mind’s eye, I can see him sitting on the top step of the latticework back porch at 2211. Watermelon slice in one hand, salt shaker in the other---enjoying every juicy bite. Refreshment was written all over his face. My brothers and I enjoyed ours as well letting it drip down our chins---juice, seeds and all. Since we had a lot more of those big ole black seeds to contend with---well you know what we did with those. Spitting contest, anyone?

Two weeks ago for just $3.99 at Wal-Mart one could purchase a seedless watermelon---that’s like all heart. The small, soft, white, seeds that are present are virtually undetected and can be eaten along with the flesh of the melon. When these hybrids were first developed they were not as tasty/sweet but nowadays they are delish----a real “nummy-nummy” as Owen says.

I know a few folks whose insides are like that watermelon---they’re hearts are ripe with kindness. No yucky, bothersome black seeds get in the way of their sweetness. They exude sweetness. This is not contrived---not just manners or superficial social graces or compliments for compliment’s sake-i.e. flattery. Their lives manifest this fruit of the Spirit. As God’s lovingkindness is great toward them, their benevolence is great toward others. I did not say their situations were perfect, only that they have thankful hearts and see God’s kindness in their lives regardless of their circumstances. Just like the watermelon that remains close to the vine until maturity is sweeter, these folks who abide in the True Vine have an eternal sweetness about them. Their sweetness counts for eternity as they “do good” to others regardless of the response, invest in others’ lives, bear the burdens of another, listen to others, pray for others and give thanks in all things.

Though my mother tried many methods to ensure the selection of the sweetest watermelon, no amount of thumping, taping, sniffing, or shaking actually gave a clue to the inside condition of the melon. 

Oftentimes, maybe most times, our outsides don’t give a clue to what’s really on the inside either. Sometimes we don’t even know. (Jer.17:9) But God…………”create in me (you) a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me” (you). (Psalm 51:10)

Now that I know watermelons do not continue to ripen after they have been removed from the vine, I know that if I’m going to mature in this area, I need to move closer to my Vine. I need to abide. Sweetness/kindness in my heart doesn’t come naturally.

In 1974, I couldn’t have found the book of John in my Bible without the Table of Contents. But God……I not only found John but I found chapter 15. It changed my life. This weekend, I plan to return to that “ABIDE” chapter for a refresher---maybe I’ll do it with my Bible in one hand and a piece of watermelon in the other. How refreshing is that!!!

Meditate with Me

Meditate with Me--though late in day---Mommar fell and broke her shoulder so posting later than I intended. She's now headed back home after lots of hours in ER.
8/17/09
Air conditioner was out part of this weekend and it was too hot (aren't I the weenie or maybe I, like Crickett and addicted to comfort) in my upstairs computer corner to finish my thoughts on kindness, so I'm trusting you to extend kindness and allow me a little more time to get those random thoughts down.
But today is Monday and you know what that means----MEDITATE!

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness. II Peter 1:3

Do you really believe that---He has given to you (& me) everything we need for life---and godliness. So if my life isn't manifesting godliness, what's the problem? Why is knowledge a part of this verse?

Just something to chew on as you start your week.

40 reasons to love......

Open Letter: 40 reasons I Love Larry (because you asked)
These somewhat “random reasons” were listed just as they came to mind and will probably disappoint many because they are not flowery, romantic sounding things. I'm sure they wouldn't be at the top of a "match.com" list---but these are the kinds of things that are at the top of mine.  Maybe you married folks, will recognize little gestures or similar things in your own relationship that you have taken for granted. Now maybe you can see them in a new light and be thankful for them.
8/14/09

To: Larry
From: Dotsy
August 9, 2009

40 Things I Love About You

1. You love the Lord
2. You love me
3. You rub my back nightly, without me asking everytime
4. You took dancing lessons so we could dance together
5. You’re never too tired to tell our grandboys stories
6. Your concern for your birds
7. Your sense of humor
8. Your larryisms---you’ve created your own language
9. You read the Bible aloud to me one year because you knew I had never done that
10. Shared memories
11. You make the bed
12. You’re fun
13. My “ready” toothbrush
14. My cuppa---you make it just right
15. Your ability to find all that I lose, esp. glasses
16. Your kindness toward your mother
17. Your love for my family
18. You have lots of friends
19. Your willingness to take Ann & me to a chick flick.
20. You can cook steaks on the grill---the best.
21. You anticipate my needs before I do
22. Your dishwater hands
23. Your savvy with superglue
24. Your blue eyes
25. Your nursing ability
26. Your willingness to drive Miss Dotsy lots of places
27. You love to shop
28. Your willingness to dance evertyime our song plays
29. Your overt joy when with our grandboys
30. Your generosity
31. Your athletic prowess even in your 6th decade
32. Your willingness to use coupons
33. Your tolerance of my “to-go boxes”
34. Your head full of gorgeous white hair
35. Your willingness to eat leftovers and at least act like you enjoy them—maybe you do
36. 40 years of frosting my hair
37. Your patience
38. Your willingness to read and review all the Harry Potter and Eragon books for me
39. Your perseverance in weeding and watering my flowers
40. For all of these and all that I am when I am with you, I love you!

Patience with hope

8/12/09
Admittedly, this “patience” lesson has been tough for me. Tough because of the reality of impatience in my life along with my short-sightedness.
I need to address, at least mentally, the long term spiritual results of learning in the midst of a circumstance rather than just trying to short-cut it for the sake of relief.

Have I ever admitted that relief is probably at the top of my “favorite emotions” list? It is. It’s because the dread, suffering, etc. is over and “my” list is checked off or my ducks are back in a row----usually short-lived because another situation is probably lurking around the next corner. But RELIEF does feel good for the moment! I envision eternity as one long sigh of relief.

I am so pitiful that:
…..losing “anything” in my “black hole” of a purse, no matter how many pockets Vera Bradley sews in, feels like a major tragedy in the universe………..
…..Driving to work at least an hour ahead of actual check-in time and catching a red light has my blood pressure up and sometimes I try to hurry thru that yellow light…………
…..even a fax machine being busy or not responding as I try to reach Wage Works for the umpteenth time can feel like life or death.
Stress, Melt-down, Come apart--all inappropriate—all come to mind.
Silly, I know, but that’s the way this time compulsive person manifest a deeper issue than lack of patience. (Maybe "time-compulsive" is a euphemism for wretched.)
The world’s definition of patience according to Mr. Webster is calm endurance. God’s definition is more encompassing. I even have trouble with the world’s description, so I try to circumvent the problems or people who make patience difficult for me. That my friends is not God’s way.
What’s the long term goal of the situation/problem that is causing my reactions rather than a godly response? Learning to endure a trying time, or becoming capable of bearing delay might sound like the right answers but they are MY way----trying to meet MY need in MY strength. Maybe, just maybe they’ll offer ME relief. NOT! At least, not for long.

The long term goal is spiritual maturity---a display of the fruit of the Spirit in my life. How is that done?
Quit trying to practice patience in your own strength but open His word and “practice His Presence.”
Is that your final answer, Dotsy?
Yes, because it’s the right answer. It’s God’s answer.


Larry proofed and suggested I put my journal jottings at the end of the blog, not in the middle---just to reinforce the lessons the Lord has taught me in my patience journey, which has taken a lot of steps forward and backwards and is still in progress.
Journal Jottings----just to give you a peek at all the thoughts, some painful, about my life lessons and struggles with patience.
May 30, 1999 from a Sunday School class taught by Dick Winter.

Notes on DW’s CHART

1.Typical ways---circumventing, rationalizing and faking it
2. God’s answer—Examine God’s word, Phil. 2:1, James 1 :2-3, Embrace His plan, Psa. 27:4, Experience the exchanged life, Isa. 40:31, Lam. 3:25
3. Therefore…(sounds like, "but God"……with Him the response is…)

• Accept all people. (especially difficult ones)

• Give expectations to God and grace to others!

• Invest in others’ lives—(even those “irregular” ones)

God move me from #1 my reactions, my way to #3, His loving response, His way!
Galatians 5:3 By faith we eagerly await, though the Spirit, the righteousness for which we hope.
Long term goal----His righteousness.

(Streams in the Desert, July 26)
He hath made waiting beautiful and patience divine.
That’s definitely a divine viewpoint, not a world’s view.
I want to get beyond just tolerating or coping with a situation just to get by it or forestall/avoid confrontation. When I allow God to meet me where I am and to teach me, that’s “waiting with hope.” The situation or person may not change or go away but He will teach me His response in the middle of it.

There is nothing Christ dislikes more than for His people to publically profess Him and then not use Him. Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Streams in the Desert, 8-12)
USE HIM in this area of patience, Dotsy.
Exchange my weakness for His strength.

Missing Michèle

8/10/09 A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. (Proverbs 27:9)
MacAdvantage is a store here in Memphis that offers nationally recognized service for repair of MAC computers. Endorsements/testimonials from their satisfied customers speak of quality, generosity and going the extra mile. It’s a plus for those who have MACs. Well, I have had 2 kinds of MACs and they both start with the letter c. The computer (MAC) was repaired and reconfigured by Tom at MacAdvantage. The cancer MAC was removed and my face reconfigured by docs in Dallas. Having my MAC computer with me for these last 7 months has been invaluable---a real advantage. But the cancer, MAC, also brought tremendous advantages to my life----time to reconnect with family and friends from afar and to make a new connection. That connection, via the internet first, brought me to Michèle Phoenix. Then, as only God could orchestrate, we were able to meet 6 weeks ago in Louisville, KY. But the advantages of that connection have enlarged my heart. I don’t even have appropriate words to describe the impact she has had on me---from my psyche to my spiritual growth.

She hasn’t even left North America yet and already I feel sadness creeping over me. She’s headin’ back to Germany today. I know why she goes. She answered that question on her blog. What I don’t know is why it affects me so. Maybe because though we are years apart in age, we speak the same language---- spiritually and emotionally. She brings me joy with apt answers; her writing delights me; and her words, via e-mail, are both profound and timely. Possibly because she is real---a real part of my life, a really transparent believer, a MAC survivor whom I have hugged in real life and a real big blessing in my life..
I thank God for her---she is my MACadvantage!

1It is good to give thanks to the LORD
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
2To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning
And Your faithfulness by night,
3With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp,
With resounding music upon the lyre.
4For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.

Psalm 92:1-4

Father God, how I thank you for Michèle, my MAC blessing. Through her, You have enabled me to see Your hand and to accept MAC as a gift of Your grace. Not that many months ago MAC had seemed so scary and now I see blessing upon blessing, in part, thanks to Michèle’s faithfulness to You. Now I say, “thank you” with a sincere heart. Use my faith in You in the life of another. May he/she see Your goodness in me. I have held Your hand to get me through this cancer struggle and times of weakness. May I continue to do so.

“I sing for joy at the works of Your hand. Forever I’ll love You, forever I’ll stand, Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.” (Michael W. Smith, lyricist)

HAPPY 40th ANNIVERSARY---Here’s to 200 years of love as his wedding band says.

8/9/09
I had wanted to entitle this blog “bi-polar bed fellows” or “marriage of miracles” but thought that might sound insulting to our union so I’m embedding it in the text. What I’m really trying to say is that like most of you in a marriage situation already know “taint” always easy, it takes commitment and opposites do in fact attract---but God………………..
So here’s a look at us. Hmm….food seems to be a focus here! I guess we have that in common. We’re “foodies”----though not the refined, snobby kind. We just like to eat.

Larry ------------------------------Dotsy
Time frame------------------------eventually Now or yesterday is even better
Leave at time of event----------- Leave early-- “just in case” scenarios
Night owl --------------------------Early bird
Coffee in am-----------------------“Cuppa” hot tea
Beach-------------------------------Mountains
Laid back/enjoys journey--------Destination Driven
Driver------------------------------Navigator/love maps
Author, Clive Cussler-------------Author, Jan Karon
Spicy/hot food---------------------Mild kick only
Cell phone/golf line---------------No cell
Communicate Ma Bell-------------E-mail
Burger w/ cheese-------------------No cheese, pleez
Spinach NOT T-greens------------Turnip Greens!!!
Bleu cheese, extra------------------Italian/smacky vinaigrettes
Wine---------------------------------Sweet tea
Candles give headache------------Love candles but don't use for his sake
Diet coke----------------------------The real thing
Sci-Fi--------------------------------Mystery
Revelation--------------------------Psalms
TV (golf channel)------------------Not much TV- “Jeopardy”
Beatles/Mamas & Papas----------Temptations/Four Tops
Sports section/spread out--------Crossword, folded-booksize rectangle
Leather recliner-------------------Upholstered club chair/ottoman
Games, any outside---------------Board games-Scrabble & Boggle
Shopper----------------------------NOT
Tennis shoes-----------------------Crocs
Diverticulitis friendly snacks----Popcorn
1/2 full glass/dreamer------------1/2 empty pragmatist/realist
Playful------------------------------Prayerful
NO candy--------------------------Divinity and fudge w/ pecans (LOTS)
Rule bender-----------------------Rule follower
Splenda(diet stuff)---------------Sugar (no diet anything)
Carrot Cake/Coconut cake------Caramel cake/Coconut cake

(Closing the food gap here, maybe)

1 foam pillow---------------------4 squishy down pillows
Bedding, sheet only-------------sheet, light blanket, mama's quilt, coverlets

So what’s the secret of polar opposites staying together for 40 years? Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NASB) gives a clue. Read verse 12b carefully.

9Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
10For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
11Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
12And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.
A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

If Larry and I keep the Lord in the center of our “marriage cord” then we should not be easily separated. So…..here’s to many more anniversaries with the one I love. I would say 40 more but that would probably mean a heavenly event since we would be over 100 years old----now that would be a celebration!

Ruby Red Reveal…….

8/7/09 ……….but don’t tell Larry. He won’t receive until tomorrow. So many great ideas from so many different folks—thanks for doing the thinking for me! I had forgotten I had a red plate ‘til a blog reader reminded me, would have never thought of duct tape or pomegranates or a list of reasons I love him. Couldn’t use candles or certain colognes b/c “smells” get to his head. Could have added more---just ran out of time & cash. Grateful that so many suggestions were so doable on a budget.
This is the list that will be in his basket which I will present along with his red breakfast. We’ll also have red tomatoes for lunch---a gift from Roger at HHS and a cherry fried pie. This has really been a team effort. Thanks much!!

HAPPY 40TH
August 9, 1969-2009

Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth, (Proverbs 5:38)
(a basket of “ruby” red stuff to commemorate 40 years of love, Liles style)

1. “You are special today” Red Plate (https://redplatestore.com) breakfast in bed---with ruby red grapefruit, toast with Amish strawberry jam and fresh fruit cup w/ Ranier c herries, strawberries and red grapes served with Red Label Taster’s Choice in a “you are special today” red mug

2. Red anniversary card w/ book of King of Hearts postage stamps
3. List of 40 reasons I love you---in red font
4. Red duct tape
5. Red Meat from Folks Folly’s Prime Shoppe
6. Red Truck Wine (I love the label, hope you’ll like the wine) & Avalon Cabernet---robust red with a red label---'cause you already had a beaker of merlot
7. Red Terra Cotta chips w/ Chili’s salsa---you love salsa
8. Rental from Blockbuster for “Hunt for Red October”
9. Office pack w/ red only rubberbands, paper clips, clamps, push pins, Sharpie and pencils
10. Tomato juice
11. Diet Cranberry Splash (2pk)
12. Malco gift certificate for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince---Blood is red and you love Harry Potter
13. Red KOOZIES (2)
14. Pack of red pens
15. Red picture frame for our anniversary “shot”-- A red dot/red tag clearance item----your favorite kind
16. Pair of red scissors for your “area”
17. Red Lobster Coupon
18. Red tie
19. Sonic gift card for your favorite diet strawberry limeade
20. Bright red travel mug & 12 volt plug-in travel mug for am java
21. Red toothpick dispenser---can keep in your car---your kind of gift
22. Frankly Scarlett cupcake from Muddy’s (their red velvet version) and Curbside Cassserole's unbelievable strawberry cake---it's like eating a strawberry shortcake.
23. Red golf tees
24. Red golf swing weight
25. Red “Dotsy” foam golf practice balls
26. Red heart shaped lollipop & gummy Hot Tamales
27. My Homemade mooley grater pimiento cheese with extra bright red pimientos
28. Heavy (you like heavy) red patio glasses (2) for our afternoon soirées in our red Adirondack chairs---looking for a festive pomegranate splash recipe
29. Big Red gum---though I’ll probably chew more than you will
30. Red visor eyeglass clip for your sunglasses
31. Red tree shaped wild cherry air freshener for your car---you’ll hate it but you’ll laugh!
32. Red label powder called Monkey Butt---that will make you laugh too!
33. Red Dr. Pepper Boxers
34. Red handled pruners
35. Red handled trowel
36. Red bristled silicone basting brush for the grill
37. Bold red TARGET gift card
38. Red stuff for your new car---windshield squeegee, dashboard duster, tire brush, funnel, oil spout and shop rags
39. Molly & Corey’s anniversary gift for us, a coconut cake with divinity icing (MY fave) and lots of extra coconut (your favorite) from Sugaree’s in New Albany, MS, topped with red hots in a heart shape and served with strawberry surf ice cream---it’s worth the drive, the renewal of vows…...
40. & it's delivered with a kiss from my ruby red “new “ lips.

More Patience Needed

8/6/09 I need more patience from you because I’ve still been too tired to type about patience. God has been teaching me that I am more likely to avoid “irregular” people or a tough circumstance (my way of opting out of adversity) than to exercise this “fruit.” So I’ll continue to learn my lessons, take notes, and will share eventually. That’s why I have to ask for your patience. Plus, our big 40th anniversary is this weekend, so I’m using what little energy I have to get my 40 “ruby” red gifts ready for Larry. Have gotten some fun ideas from my blog readers---will share the final 40 later.

“Wait on the LORD, be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart.” (Psalm 27:14)

Did you notice that the verse didn’t say anything about avoiding people or situations, but waiting on God……….patience His way = a strengthening of the heart.

Philippians 4:13

8/4/09
I found my notes on patience but I’ve been too bleary-eyed to organize them and type them up for the blog.
Yesterday was Monday and you know what that means---I had a verse to meditate on. Did you?

• I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

This verse was a good reminder as I felt the fatigue of the first day back at work compounded by the news that Mommar’s remaining sister, Liz, had died. She’s older than Mommar. She has been suffering with Alzheimer’s the last 2+ years. Though everyone thought Mommar wouldn’t remember seeing her sister last week, she told me detail by detail of her visit to see Liz. Her final comment was, “I hope I never get that way. She didn’t even know who I was.” That is my hope as well. But I also trust that He, as the old hymn says, will give “strength for today and great hope for tomorrow,” if that is indeed the way she progresses.

Fruit of the Spirit: Patience

8/2/09 Remember the old VBS (Vacation Bible School) song, “Down in my heart?”

"I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart, down in my heart.
(Where?) Down in my heart. (3x)
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
down in my heart, down in my heart---
down in my heart to stay."

Then new phrases (replacing joy) were added to create other spiritual things found “down in your heart”---peace that passes understanding and love of Jesus.

Do you recognize those first three attributes of the “fruit of the Spirit?” So where’s the patience? Do you think God wonders that about us sometimes---“where’s the patience, Dotsy?”

As always when things “come to mind” for the blog or those THOTS on a scripture are being mulled around, God has a way of showing me truth about myself. More often than not, it’s not very pretty. A lot of waiting comes in to play. Waiting involves patience. Maybe I’m a little short in that area.

But God……..I’m beginning to see that when we wait in hope there’s an entirely different dimension. It’s more that just being resigned to something or tolerating the circumstance---it seems to go deeper. It’s more than outwardly controlling an outburst---it’s more internal and most often selfless. A true longsuffering. A keeping on of keeping on. A perseverance with hope.
Now reader, you’re going to have to exert patience in waiting for the “rest of this story” because I’ve lost my notes I had so patiently jotted down on our family trip when I couldn’t get to my computer.

PRACTICE PATIENCE! It’s easier to do this in His Presence---Lord, may I Practice *Thy Presence today.
*Live in the light of it.

Borderless Jigsaw Puzzle

8/1/09
Approaching 40 years with “my man” and seeing his mother (Mommar) without hers (would have been 65 years just 2 weeks ago), I am sobered. I can’t imagine what life would look like without Larry. Then I read in Beth Moore’s, Voices of the Faithful, of a widow who described it as I was feeling. Puzzle pieces of one’s life in disarray everywhere.
Mommar must feel that way, even in her tenuous mental state. She has teared up several times today and told me of her neighbor whose husband has also died and the neighbor’s anger that her hubby died before she did. She spoke of the neighbor’s fear. She was empathizing and it was painful for her. I’m sure that she feels that there are no borders for her to build on in this new jumble of a widow’s puzzle. Where will she start? What can she do?
How can I help? She was already struggling with beginning dementia and Grandaddy was her one stabilizing factor---that and her home. Now she has to leave her home each weekend to stay with us or another of her children. She’d really rather be at home. She has no control---no car keys or house keys anymore. She’s trying so hard to hold on to some semblance of her past---life as she once knew it. It is so painful to watch.
I know that God has assigned our portions and made our lot secure---those boundary lines of ours (even the ones we can’t see) are in His hands and He can rebuild the shattered pieces in our lives (& minds)---one piece at a time. But how can I help her understand? Is it even possible? Maybe the lesson is for us, the caregivers, as somedays her mind understands and somedays it doesn’t.
Losing a spouse can be devastating, I’m sure. Losing control of certain aspects of your life (& memory) can be equally upsetting.
It’s hard to make sense out of life when our minds are in chaos and our dreams have been shattered. But God…………

“Lord, I lay this all at the foot of the cross. Use me to minister to Mommar even when I can’t begin to understand all she’s going through. I pray Your best for her. It doesn’t have to make sense to me---I just trust Your leading even when the circumstances seem overwhelming both physically and emotionally. As a family, may we become linked and locked in spiritual unity to provide the best border she needs for this new jigsaw-type season in her life.”