“My cup of tea”…………what’s yours?

5/6/10 Figuratively speaking, that phrase “my cup of tea” can describe something that one prefers or desires---often taking on the essence of who we are---an outward manifestation of sorts.
A big reading chair. (bookshelf nearby with cozy mysteries & reading glasses) A big chair for prayer. (bookshelf nearby with Bible study tools, journals & reading glasses) Both areas have a coaster nearby for my “cuppa.” Hm-mm, big chairs, bookshelves, a “cuppa” and reading must be my cup of tea.

That idiom can too often define one’s lifestyle in a negative way. That happens when we try to be someone else’s cup of tea. You can spend a lifetime trying to be what others want you to be---- and it’s usually for their benefit. If you decide to change you’d better watch out.

It does seem to be a little easier as you reach a certain decade to stop misleading family, friends and colleagues. You can come out of the closet, in a way---fess up to “good enough” housekeeping, (books are dusted) “good enough” meals, (tea is available) “good enough” wardrobe (ah-h sweats are clean) and “close enough” number on the scale. (all right, so I didn’t weigh today). That is one of the advantages of aging. Coming clean is liberating. You can stop hiding behind the masks of perfection.

It’s not entirely true that I’ve reached a point where I don’t care what people think of me. Sometimes I feel a little left out in conversations. But I can weigh others’ expectations of me with what He thinks of me, to find balance. It’s His expectations that are important.

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10)

Dancing term…………….“Light on your feet”

5/3/10 How does one keep “light on her feet” when dancing with a partner? Balance is important---so keep your focus. Posture too---helps you move as a unit of one with your partner. Listening is key. Are you listening to the same music? Being aware of the gentle nudge from your partner. Response is also very important so that you don’t have to be “jerked” into compliance. Don’t even try to anticipate your partner’s lead----just go with His flow. Whatever you do, don’t lead!
My God Calling “journal jottings” made during my surgery month last fall as I pondered Psalm 34:1-5 (KJV):

• First step in my dance with the Lord is Praise---Boasting in Him and magnifying Him is so much easier in the “closed position”—facing him, looking into His face, which opens the line of communication so that you are prepared to follow before fear even sets in. Burdens are lifted as I look to Him---

The result is lightness of heart, which I think translates to our feet so that we then have a “dance” (our Christian walk) to show the world. That's our final step---showing the world the beauty of a dance/life with Him.

1I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
3O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.
4I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
5They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. (Psalm 34:1-5)

Graceful and beautiful dancing (being light on your feet) can be achieved through a gentle but definite lead, coupled with a sensitive and responsive follow. Allow the world to see your “dance” and thus glorify Him.

Heartwarming Dance

4/29/10 Dance! Dance! Dance! It seems to jump out at me from everywhere lately. God continues to give me “dance” tidbits and trivia from all over the place. How heartwarming is that!
In February, “Day of Dance” celebrated this art form because it’s good for the heart. Today, International Dance Day is celebrated and has been every April 29 since 1982. For me it was a great analogy between the physical and the spiritual art form of dance. Dance is good for my physical heart and dancing with Him as my partner is good for my spiritual heart. "Attentiveness to Him and responsiveness to others" (C. Huffman) are heart healthy signs.
Celebrate “life” with me through the art form of dance. Allow your teacher to be the One who came that you might have life in abunDANCE!

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

To really celebrate, each believer needs to extend the joy of that abunDANCE to others---thus making his own heart bigger and spiritually healthier while warming the heart of another.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; ( Colossians 3:12)

Live the life you teach. Dance the dance you’ve chosen.

No better way to stretch/enlarge your heart than to allow God’s teaching to touch the soul of another---a heartwarming dance.

Sleep Button

4/27/10 Up early yesterday----"3 something" is even early for me. Bleary eyed. I felt like I was looking through wavy water as I typed. Under the “”apple” on my computer is a sleep button. When I scroll down and click on it, the screen "black out" is instantaneous. It’s there as a power saver---putting the computer into hibernation mode.

I want such a button in my life. I want to be just "one click" away from the comfort of sleep. No tossing. No turning. No anxious thoughts whirring in my head. No need to “pop” a Benadryl, which the docs say isn’t good for dementia avoidance. No struggling to recall verses that seem to rev up instead of calming. Sometimes I just want to sleep.

Dozed some but eventually got up a little after 4 and carried my fatigue with me to work. I just put one foot in front of the other. Not the way I like to spend my day but I did make it through. I’m not the only one, at this age who can struggle with insomnia. Certainly late night/early morning sleep disturbances are not unique to me either. Sleep deprivations from work stress compounded by an “early” school opening is often the topic of our “lunch bunch” conversation.

Prayed for strength as I left work to go read to a friend and to give her hubby a little break. Then boom! I rear-ended an SUV at Poplar and Kirby Parkway. I assumed all cars were moving but obviously the one in front of me was not. Or maybe she did and then stopped. I don’t know. I just know it was my fault and I was grateful the other driver wasn’t hurt. Some days are like that even in Australia as Alexander said during his “terrible, horrible, no good very bad day!"

Finally arriving at home, thanks to a friend passing by and calling police, a tow truck arriving for my car, a somewhat depleted bank account, and a nice Germantown policeman giving me a ride, I really desired that hibernation mode. I wanted to be able to “black out” the wreck, the guilt, and the questions of “what were the life lessons in this” that were whirring in my head.
But God……in reading last night’s God’s Calling, here’s what jumped off the page.

“Have no fear….rest before Me until you are joyful and strong again…. Deal in the same way with all tired feelings. I was weary too, when on earth, and I separated Myself … and sat and rested…. When Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me," he did not mean that he was to do all things and then rely on Me to find strength. He meant that for all I told him to do he could rely on My supplying the strength. My Work in the world has been hindered by work, work, work. Many a tireless nervous body has driven a spirit. The spirit should be the master always, and just simply and naturally use the body as need should arise. Rest in Me.”

Maybe He’s giving me permission to click the sleep button and take time-out for a little hibernation----to rest in Him and be thankful.

Dance Plans

4/26/10 If I’ve learned anything these last few months, it’s that my “dance” is His plan, not mine. Jesus Calling, these last few days, has certainly reminded me of that. The dance is empowered by Him. I’m just to respond to His lead rather that trying to make life’s dance fit my plans. My compulsive planning can cause missteps along the way. When my mind spins with multitudinous thoughts I cannot follow His lead---I can’t hear His still small voice. Is it fear that manifests itself in my excessive planning? Isn’t unbelief the root of all fear?

Yesterday’s Jesus Calling entry (4/25) reminded me to make the Lord my focal point as I moved (danced) through each day. Maybe others need reminding too. The only way for a spinning ballerina to keep her balance is to keep returning her eyes to her immovable focal point.

Certainly our world/circumstances continue to whirl around us and we, too, need to focus on the One who is the constant in our lives. That way our steps are steady and sure---because we are focused on Him and His plan for us instead of our own plans.
As I typed this I could hear my Mama Davenport’s squeaky little voice humming this old but still familiar hymn:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
 Look full in His wonderful face,
 And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
 In the light of His glory and grace

So with His plan to think about, think on this verse as you “dance” through your day. Please note parenthetical paraphrases are just my THOTS on this verse.

Let us (that’s you, Dotsy) also lay aside every encumbrance (my role of trying to plan and lead the dance) and the sin (my compulsive, excessive planning) which so easily entangles us, and let us run (dance) with endurance (His strength) the race (His dance plan) that is set before us, (Dotsy)
2fixing our (my) eyes on Jesus, (my partner who leads me in the dance) the author and perfecter of faith, (faith = belief) (Hebrews 1b-2a)

Routine for a “New Dance”

4/22/10     I am a Daddy's Girl! 

During"back in the day" college years my phone rang every Wednesday, as Daddy could call long distance "free" from Clarksville Livestock Company,

For years, my daddy has been “routine” personified. He ate grapefruit for breakfast everyday. He walked every day. Had Wednesday lunch at Mama Davenport’s in Clarksville, TN every week. You could plan your days by him---and really down to the hour and sometimes even the minute. We often joked about him being the “man to set your clock by.”

• 6:14 am wake-up
• 7:15 am “library time.”
• 8am out the door.
• 10:15 post office run.
• 3:15pm front step Hopkinsville Livestock Company (originally Altsheler and Payne) with an ice-cold 6½ oz. bottled coke---the ones in the bottle with the light green tint and embossed at the bottom with the name of the local bottler. He chose that time to watch his granddaughters, Polly and Allyson, come by on the school bus.
• 9 pm his orange that he ate every night in front of the TV---a dish towel over his lap to catch the drips.
• Bedtime 10:14.

As he aged, the routine changed somewhat and his coke became a 12 0z. can b/c the little grocery in Trenton, KY where he got his “bottle” supply finally ran out. He eventually changed to the canned “diet Coke” variety. His orange became a ½ an orange. Lunch at Roundies remained a daily routine and any of the waitresses could get his order w/o writing it down b/c it rarely varied---salmon patties on Monday, always beets on his Tuesday plate, chicken and dumplings for Thursday and ending his week with his Friday fish. They always brought his jello with fruit about 2/3 through his meal. A nod from him was all it took. Sat. lunch at the VFW was a given b/c for his “big” dollar in the jar donation, he was fed---a lunch this World War II “purple heart recipient” deserves.

That routine gave him security---it’s what he hung his hat on. Plus, when Mother was living, she supported his routine and kept it running smoothly for him. Now he hangs his hat and coats and clothes all over everywhere---although there seems to be a system to that too, I just don’t always understand it.
In the last 6 mos. Daddy really began to fail---maybe even the past year but I was not with him as much b/c of my treatment/surgeries in Texas. He still walked at the mall, though slower and not as far, and in the past month, not at all. More and more his confidence is deteriorating. His memory is fleeting and too much of the time he won’t even try but just say, “I can’t remember anything.” I hear him talking to himself trying to remind himself of what is next and even his speech falters some. What I am seeing is that Daddy is desperately trying to hold on. Trying to hold on to life as he once new it. I want to hold on for him---to hold on to the healthy Daddy, still walking his mile. Daddy, working at age 88. Daddy, only taking 1 aspirin a day Daddy and reading The Upper Room daily.

Daddy---the way I’ve always known him.

Daddy, my first dance partner---the one who danced with me standing on the top of his feet as a child----danced with me at my wedding and even at my 45th high school class reunion. There won’t be any more of those dances with my earthly father. That makes me very sad!

How do I handle this new struggle in unfamiliar territory?
I, who just 2 nights ago encouraged others to “dance,” am going to have to apply those same principles to new steps needed for this unfamiliar dance---a dance to a new tune with my heavenly Father.

Discovering that I need new revelation from God’s word or maybe it’s new application of truth I already know---THOTS---Trusting Him On This Subject as I begin to seek

Accepting that aging of a parent and its physical difficulties are for the most part out of my control and accepting (trying) my emotional pain

Noticing God’s hand in the provision of 2 brothers who are the best and the one who is closest in distance never waivers in attentiveness to Daddy’s needs

Celebrating last night’s phone call---Daddy sounded good and even told me he got some chili at Roundies for lunch b/c it was the daily special---but he said “it wasn’t that special” and he wouldn’t order it again.

Extending hope to others in this type struggle as I learn from it---but hoping others will extend to me their stories of “long distance” care for parents and how it’s worked for them

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

♫♫♪ Dance Notes ♫♫♪

4/21/10 …..because you asked.

Living a life of abunDANCE in the midst of________!

You can fill in your own blank---whether it’s serious illness, death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, depression, etc.

I have found that this is the way to the “dance” for me.

Discovering the need to know Him better---often learned best in the struggle

Accepting pain and suffering as a gift from His grace & remembering that joy and suffering are not mutually exclusive

Noticing God’s hand in everything and being thankful.

Celebrating moment by moment the joy of being ALIVE and turned toward Him.

Extending compassion and encouragement to others as you share your story

Rules of the Dance

4/19/10 Earlier this month I blogged about “rules” in life---rules for our own safety and protection. I intimated that for me some rules are easier to follow than others. Believe it or not I see this analogy very clearly in dance. Following the step patterns (rules of the dance) is important but some steps or routines are just easier than others. When one is dancing with a partner, more often than not, it is the ability of the one following the leader to relinquish the lead and totally depend on the “lead” which makes the dance flow. It looks easy. Seamless. Hard to see where one ends and the other begins. Beautiful.

Alexander McCall Smith writes a charming series of lady detective stories set in Botswana which grace my bookshelf. In his 7th book, Blue Shoes and Happiness, Smith writes, “Dancing is about contact between people…..When you dance with somebody you are talking to him even if you do not open your mouth. Your movements can show what is in your heart.”
I so understand what he is saying. When I recognize the One Who is the “Lord of my Dance” and allow Him to lead me, there is no need for talk. It’s as if we move as one in a prayerful communion, without uttering a word. If the desire of my heart is to truly follow Him and His lead wherever that might take me, He hears my heart---no words needed.

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 11:19)

At our house we say, "It's the rule." Enough said!

More refreshment---

4/14/10 There’s an icon (a curved arrow which I can't get to paste into the blog) on my computer browser’s URL line---Just click it and the current page refreshes itself. Wouldn’t that be nice to have for our own lives. We could just push our refresh button and God’s truths would become relevant in a new and clear way. We’d be on a new/right path.
Though it might not be as instantaneous, we do have that capability. Time in His word (not nano seconds) can be just the refresher needed to walk in a godly and fresh way.

…so we too might walk in newness of life…. (Romans 6:4)

…so that we serve in newness of the Spirit… (Romans 7:6)

Amy Carmichael, in Edges of His Ways. (April 1 entry) searched the word “newness” in a Young’s Concordance and found that the word, “newness” in the above verses was rendered in the Greek as “freshness.”

To learn more of His truth and His ways, spend time in His word today. Doesn’t that sound refreshing!

Indefatigable……

4/13/10 Indefatigable….was Houston’s (HNN) word of the day yesterday. The definition was given and it was used appropriately in a sentence but I didn’t hear all of that because I happened to know that word. My mind had already started down a Dotsy trail. (Sort of like a bunny trail, hopping here and there and often deviating from the main path.)

Perhaps in days gone by, I might have seen myself as indefatigable. Tireless. Showing sustained enthusiastic action with unflagging vitality. Not only has age changed that perception, but reality has trumped even age. I tried not yielding to fatigue both as a wife, young mom, old mom, working mom, housekeeper, friend, grandmom, Bible study leader, etc. but I couldn’t keep all those plates--- self-imposed unrealistic, perfectionistic, all things to all people, responsibilities ---spinning. In fact a lot of my world came crashing down around me----shards of plates went everywhere and pierced my very being. But God….through the psalms taught me of His strength and reminded me in Isaiah to seek it in quietness and trust.

I love the The Message version of the Bible which sums up Colossians 1:10-12. "As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable (those hard places that seem so impossible) and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

If you want to text me, try (n d -f t -g -b l) that keeps it short and momentarily sustainable b/c that’s about as long as I can last in my own strength. His power meets me at the juxtaposition of my weakness and that strength of His which leads to His bright & beautiful will for my life.