N---again!

12/31/09 Though “N” sections in the dictionary and the phone book are relatively short compared to the other alphabetical offerings, I have to include another “N” here because it is NECESSARY. That’s it. As 2009 closes out tonight, I would be remiss if I did not remind myself (and you, dear reader) that Jesus is necessary. I have never seen that in my life the way I have this year. He has been absolutely essential and indispensable for the Liles this year as we have faced my (MAC) cancer and ensuing surgeries, Grandaddy’s numerous ICU stays followed by his funeral, Mommar’s increasing “dementia,” a miscarriage, and engagement.

A few years ago I taught Luke 10:38-42 passage both at First Evan and at Germantown Methodist and I came face to face with myself. You probably know the story of the two sisters who welcome Jesus to their home. Mary sits at His feet and listens and Martha. “distracted with all her preparations,” asks the Lord to tell Mary to help her. But God….the Lord tells her that she (Martha) is worried and bothered about too many things, when only one thing is necessary. Can you guess which sister had chosen the one good thing? It wasn’t Martha.

38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home.39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord's feet, listening to His word. 40But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." 41But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.(Luke 10:38-42)

I have lived many years as a “Martha”---a “driven” doer, a caretaker and a goal setter. This past year I have had time, thanks to the cancer diagnosis, to be a Mary---a Mary in a Martha world. The world kept going as normal but it was necessary for me to take time out and spend time at the Lord’s feet. He was NECESSARY in my life.

He is still necessary. He is my life!

N is for Nigh

12/30/09 The Lord is as close as our “breath prayers.” He has said He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) So why sometimes does it “feel” as if He’s distant??

A couple of days ago I wrote that I had trouble wrapping my brain around God’s love. After meditating on His love for me, I’ve decided that I can wrap my brain around it; it’s just my heart that has trouble. Sometimes it’s easier for me to figure scripture out theologically and to “spout” it than it is to move those truths a few inches southward to my heart and “feel” it as I live it out. Ever had that problem?

God is near---all the time. Billy Graham once said, one doesn’t feel the heat of the fire when one moves away from it even though the fire is still there." It’s the same in our relationship with the Lord. If we don’t feel the warmth from that relationship---guess who’s moved?

Want the warmth? Want to “feel” His presence? Get back into the Word! “But the Word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that you mayest do it.” (Deuteronomy 30:14)
Start with Psalm 73---especially verses 25-28a.

Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For, behold, those who are far from You will perish; You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

Extinguish your lights tonight with “Taps” knowing He is indeed nigh.

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

Thanks and praise, for our days,
'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, neath the sky;
As we go, this we know, God is nigh.

M = MERCY ME---

12/29/09 ---or NOT.
 Mercy is definitely not one of my strong suits or spiritual gifts. But mercy is a STRONG enduring attribute of God---

---even Shakespeare recognized this when he wrote The Merchant of Venice. Portia’s begging of mercy from Shylock shows that when we extend mercy we are following God’s example.

• But mercy is above this sceptered sway;
• It is enthroned in the hearts of kings;
• It is an attribute of God himself;
• And earthly power doth then show like God's
• When mercy seasons justice.

The bard gives the idea of an edict softened by compassion or circumstances tempered by the spirit of God. They represent justice seasoned with mercy. It’s like the five year-old who said, “I deserved a “whoopin’” but I got a hug.”

God is full of mercy. I’m so grateful that His mercy is unending…………my favorite hymn lyrics affirm this.

“Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.”

Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. (Hebrews 2:17)

MERCY ME---maybe I need to work on that in 2010!

L ……is for LOVE!

12/28/09 LOVE.....................

One of the hardest of all the attributes of God for me to wrap my brain around is love---unconditional love. I know of His sacrifice and I know scripture tells of the breadth and depth of His love but it’s still hard to comprehend, on a personal level, because I know me. I know that the one who writes this---a blog that sometimes inspire others---spent the day asking forgiveness for impure thoughts arising from impatience, unfulfilled expectations and anger. I wore myself out but I kept at it. Believe me, it was work! I thanked the Lord that He loved me, through the grace of His Son, but…….I didn’t “feel” that “love belief” in my core---it felt more like a mantra. I did repeat it over and over but did I believe it? I had to confess my unbelief. “ …I believe, Lord; help thou my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

The good news is that this unconditional love, which He offers, does not change whether I “feel” worthy of it or not. Even on days like today when my esteem is dragging, His love is constant.
No power on earth or heaven can separate us (even Me) from God's love. Not our (my) sin, not any authority, not any spiritual force. God's love is unshakable and can always be relied upon. That’s Romans 8:38-39 in a nutshell but………….the first 4 words say, “For I am convinced”-----

To convince myself of His love I plan to linger on this passage today----Romans 8:38-39

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

His love is there whether I “feel” worthy of it or not.alpha

K is for…………….

12/25/09....a King is born!…………..KING OF KINGS!

For unto you (and me) a king is born…….

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; He is just and endowed with salvation, ……….. (Zechariah 9:9)

Which in his times he shall shew, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords; (1 Timothy 6:15)

These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful. (Revelation 17:14)

And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. (Revelation 19:16)

May the King be crowned anew in our hearts and lives this Christmas Day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

J is for…………….Jehovah

12/24/09
J is for Jehovah-Rophe---The Lord our Healer ---He has been a healer for me in such a BIG way this year not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. First and foremost, in the eyes of others, the Lord has healed my infirmities in miraculous ways with a correct though rare diagnosis, involvement of Dr. Louis Carter visiting from mission field in Africa & teaming up with Dr. Burrus from Memphis to find a “team” for me, my “Dallas team” headed by the incomparable Dr. Richard Ha, and the rest of the story that has taken 240+ blog entries. Yet, before that healing would even begin the Lord began to deal with me spiritually and emotionally. Emotionally I had been “leveled many years before. Try as I might, I could not seem to let go of the hurt and embrace forgiveness---though I kept trying. I so needed to give up a bitterness and hurt that had held me bondage for 20+ years. Sometimes it would spew up like something about to boil over on the back burner. When it did, those nearest and dearest to me could get burned and the anger/resentment had absolutely nothing to do with them----But God……had me accept a church teaching assignment in October '08, because the date was convenient. Then I found out that the topic was, “ Forgiveness.” Because of the anguish of my heart and the fear and trembling that overtook me, I camped out in Psalm 55 and then Psalm 73 because “my heart was embittered and I was pierced within.” But it wasn’t until I came into the sanctuary of God….(v.17) with a broken and contrite heart that He restored completely the joy of my salvation and renewed a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51) Praise to my Jehovah-Rophe for healing me emotionally and spiritually so that 2 ½ months later I could face the physical trauma that lay ahead.

J is for Jehovah -Nissi---Yesterday, I realized that as He is my banner, and I become His banner as well when I name His name as part of my own, thus having Christian as my moniker.
J is for Jehovah-Jireh Christmas is as much about the cross as it is about the manger. According to Hebrew translations, Jehovah-jireh or Yahweh-yireh, can be rendered the LORD will provide", with "LORD" taking the place of…….He is my “substitutionary atonement” ( a Jim Fleming term) taking my sin upon Himself that I might be declared righteousness.

J is for Jehovah -M'Kaddesh---The “Lord who Sanctifies” and sanctifies and sanctifies---this is a continual process in my life and He is not “done” with me yet.
J is for Jehovah-–Shalom-- The Lord our Peace---Tonight is Christmas Eve and because of my Jehovah Shalom, I can “sleep in heavenly peace” knowing that my Jehovah-Shammah (the Lord who is there) is present.

I is for IDENTITY

12/23/09 Organ chords of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing’’ rang out as the choir began to process along the red carpet down the aisle toward the choir loft at the First United Methodist Church in Hopkinsville yesterday. All of this was so familiar to me. Except, there was no Mr. Scruggs, or Mr. Tilley or short lady on the front row with the “big” strawberry red hair now occupying that loft, just Marian Adams looking mostly the same, but now graying.

This church with its large stain glass window above said choir loft (in memory of J. Brownell) stating, “He is not here. He is Risen” is where I began to discover my identity.

I walked that same aisle toward the altar at age 13, during a revival---somewhat unusual for a Methodist church---against my mother’s protestations too, because “we” didn’t express our emotions in public like that. Methodist became my moniker. Oh I had so much to learn. So much grace and knowledge to acquire---still do. (I need to insert an emoticon here but I only know this one---☺---have never created my own.)

Remember, I come from a small town where names like Baby, Bugs, Cookie and Junebug given at a young age still mark the identity of these folks, some of whom are now in their eighth decade. But names/labels do say a lot about who we are.

During this time of year certain names of our Lord resonate throughout church services:
Infant---the babe born in the lowly manger stable.
Incarnate One---“incarnato” Latin for being or taking flesh. He came and dwelt among us that we might have abundant life. “Hail the incarnate deity.”
Identity---“I AM”--- is the personal name for the God of Israel and Judah as revealed to Moses in the Wilderness (Exodus 3:14) In John 8:58, Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you before Abraham was born, “I AM.”

• And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14)

This verse gives identity to Jesus because He reflects the identity of His Father.

May I find my identity in Him as well---called by God to reflect His Son.
Call me Christian!

HOPE

12/21/09 "Christ in you the hope of glory." (Colossians 1:27)
Hope within. (Psalm 39:7)
Blessed hope. (Titus 2:13) Living hope. (1 Peter 1:3) Eternal hope. (John 3:16)

Hope you have time to ponder these verses today!

Hope I soon have more WiFi access* to share the one who is THE true Hope.

*Got it with full access to scripture citations!

H is for.............Hand of God

12/19/09 Assignment: Look for it today in your life.
I certainly have seen the hand of God at every turn this year in my cancer journey.

G is for……………Gifts of Grace

12/14/09
Popeye, the comic strip character (which began 80 years ago) gave us lots of food for thought---mainly about spinach. But I also remember him saying, I “yam” what I “yam.” I could say that about myself and the connotation would be derogatory. “I yam what I yam”…..apart from God’s grace, what “I yam” is not a pretty picture. Today "I yam" tired, grumpy and "down." But God......continues to bestow grace on this undeserving old lady.

I learned years ago that grace is "unmerited favor" from God. This gift of grace is a description of the character of God---His gift to humanity. We just have to receive this beautiful gift all tied up with His love---open it up and use it. What a gift----and we can never use it up!

Theologian, J.I. Packer, describes grace this way, “New Testament grace means God’s love in action towards men who merited the opposite of love. Grace means God moving heaven and earth to save sinners who could not lift a finger to save themselves.”

Here’s a gift of “grace scriptures” for you today---open the scripture that appeals to your heart and use it in your life---that’s what meditation does. Open the Bible, accept the Word and use it for yourself and to bless others.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. I Peter 4:10 (THOT---the gift does, in fact, go on)

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 2 Peter 1:2 (THOT---Grace always precedes peace in the salutations (I found 16) of the epistles ----God’s grace must be present in order to experience His real peace.)

Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. (Romans 5:14-16)

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— (Ephesians 2:8)

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. (I Corinthians 15:10)

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. (John 1:16)

I hope you chose your gift of grace carefully and prayerfully and will continue to delight in it throughout the week.

G is for GIFT, indescribable

12/11/09 At a recent “Christmas Carol” production, a young boy sitting behind me, who seemed to enjoy kicking my seat, asked his Mommy, “Where are the presents from the ghost of Christmas Present?” His question was typical of the season’s mentality---not where is His Presence but where are my presents!

“On Dasher!” “On Dancer!” “On MasterCard!” “On Visa” was the intro to a Trinity Methodist Church (Denver, CO) sermon message on “Unplugging the Christmas Gift Monster.” So often we are so busy with the peripheries of the holiday that we lose sight of the One whom we celebrate. The One who gave us our greatest gift.

“The Father gave the Son. The Son gave the Spirit. The Spirit gives us life so we can give the Gift of love. And the Gift goes on. And the Gift goes on.”

Those words from Sandi Patti’s song resonate with the truth of Christmas. We have been given a gift. Now it’s our turn to pass it on. Love, His love, is a gift that keeps on giving.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights,…(James 1:17)

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15)

F is for Faithful Friend

12/9/09
In Shelby County Schools this month, the “Character Trait of the Month” is "Friendship.” The quote given to us in our Silver Bulletin this week was, “A friend is someone who sings your heart’s song back to you when you have forgotten the words.” (David Coppola P.H.D)

When I returned to work this week, I found friends like that everywhere I turned. They poked their heads in the library, stopped me in the hall, left notes and goodies and basically blessed me beyond measure.

When I was flagging in zeal, they lifted my spirits, especially the “lunch bunch.” Everyone should have a prototype of this HHS “lunch bunch.” We are a diverse group---in age, marital status, stature, interests, etc. We all love to eat so we talk about food (a lot)---- even though someone is always on a diet. Gender is the common denominator since Ben no longer has C lunch. Occasionally Mr. Suchman drops in so we really don’t discriminate. We’ve laughed together, cried together, prayed together, bashed men (only those deserving bashing) together and just enjoyed each other's company.

The entire HHS “bunch” has been with me this year through thick and thin---surrounding me with listening ears, open hearts and open hands. They’ve fed me and my family too many times to list, joined the HHS café with receptions and tea parties to brighten my day and sent me off to Dallas with a friendship quilt, books, pictures, cards, tea cups, tea pots and enough tea (when brewed correctly) to float a battleship.

But I have also known other friends who, in their human frailty, have found it hard to be faithful to a relationship when it no longer suits their needs. I know how devastating that kind of betrayal can be. Conversations with other women have affirmed that. It’s even worse if it comes from someone within the community of faith.

Scripture alludes to this in Psalm 55 when David cries out to the Lord in the anguish of his heart saying that he could bear it if the one who had brought this reproach against him had been an enemy but it wasn’t………………..

13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

So who is a true friend who walks in when the world walks out? Who is always there for you regardless? Who is it that pleads on your behalf before a holy God? Who is this One who is Faithful and True (Revelation 3:14) and calls us friend? (John 15:14-15) Jesus.

What a friend we have in Him!!!

E is for Emmanuel

12/7/09 As we approach the Christmas season that “E” word probably seems like a given---but I didn’t think of it. But God…I sat down to write this blog not having a clue of an “E” word---one that rang clear. I had some alpha bits floating in my head---eternal came to mind but not much else.

Then, I remembered a book that had the names of Jesus in it and I even remembered where it was. GLORY! At the Name of Jesus was on the bottom shelf of the lawyers’ chest in the living room. On the flyleaf I had written: From Allan and Carolyn Bowden on my 40th birthday. This “little” book has ministered to me over the years but especially that year, 1986-87. The underlines and the marginalia are reminders of His very real Presence in my life as I was struggling with two very necessary losses in my life. Naïveté and unreal expectations----those things one often has to give up in order to grow up. Also in the book was a cross-stitched “Dotsy” bookmark given to me by my former Longreen neighbor, Cheryl Mc.--it was stitched by her mother, Nancy G. It too was a reminder of God’s Presence in both our lives during another difficult season.

He was and is my Emmanuel---God with me in all my seasons.

“Behold a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Em-manu-el, which being interpreted is God with us." (Matthew 1:23, KJV)

Ponder that.

Mindless in the Mountains

12/4/09 Is it the altitude? Is it age? Is it MAC muddled mind? Why can I not hold on to thoughts? My mind is like….. a sieve? ……a piece of diaphanous fabric. Words flutter in but don’t stay long enough for me to weave them into a coherent thought---much less express it. Having a conversation with me can be a labor of love. Is that why so many are turning away or just tuning me out?

What attribute of God do I need to focus on for help in this area. I don’t care if it starts with Z, I’ll jump right to it---forget my obsession with ABC order. How else do I stop these whirlpools of words that I can’t quite qrip tightly enough or hold long enough in my grasp in order to have a complete thought?

Yesterday’s Jesus Calling’s first sentence caught my attention. “Do not be surprised by the fiery attacks on your mind…………Don’t let discouragement set in……call upon My name……My name, properly used, has unlimited Power.” Wow!

Another “D” word---He is my Defender---my only defense in the battle for my mind

Dippin' Dots (Dots, Nancy Rouse’s nickname for me, is dipping back into the “D” word bank

12/3/09

D is for DELIGHT He is my delight!

“Delight thyself also in the Lord and He will give thee the desires of thy heart.” (Psalm 37:4---Dotsy’s memory version)

Years ago (1978-79) when I was teaching her son Nathan, Carolyn Hughes cross-stitched that verse for me. It was really an answer to prayer because I was struggling trying to memorize scripture and “Voilà !” ---a gift of scripture. This visible reminder did the trick.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that the more I delighted in Him, the more He would change the desires of my heart. Now my heart’s desire is for my life to be so aligned with His---that my delights would be in sync with His delights.

D is for…………

12/2/09…………….DANCING PARTNER! You probably already knew that, but I didn’t. It was revealed to me in the middle of the night. Of course, it has to be that characteristic. It’s the way I‘ve known Him best this year.

The term doesn’t exactly resonate with spirituality but it clearly expresses the year I’ve had in His presence. It’s been a way to celebrate life when it seemed so tenuous. The beauty of dancing with Him is that’s it’s a forever dance and it just gets better---I hope to keep dancing.......as the "gift" sign above our fireplace reminds me.

Last week Larry and I watched a “Dancing with the Stars” recap. What a difference from those first weeks. As the dancers began to know and trust their partners they seem to meld. It took lots of daily contact and hard work. At the end, the top 4 partners (even those who stumbled miserably at first) showed that all that time together, even enduring pain during the practices, paid off---it was as if they were one. Is that the way it is for you? Are you one with Him? Is your time on earth a dance rehearsal for that eternal dance with Him?

It’s not too late to learn. Just turn toward Him. Step out there and take His extended hand. He’ll hold you in His embrace and be with you through those spins and dips and turns that life sends your way. You might get dizzy, or stumble a little but He won’t let you "fall headlong"---and that’s scriptural. (Psalm 37:24)

Each person’s dance is different. Looks different. Feels different. Tempo is different. Steps vary from easy to complex. As in life, we are all at varying levels of knowing Him. But all of our dances have one thing in common---a celebration of life in Him! Let Him whisper in your ear as you dance.

This weekend I hope to be dancing on the mountaintops with Him. How about you? Are you dancing with the Lord?

It’s never too late to begin your dance with God.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;…….and girded me with gladness. (Psalm 30:11)

........I hope you Dance!!!

Counseling Comforter

12/1/09 I like comfort----extraneous comfort is something I DO enjoy!! That’s why I have a stack of squishy down pillows and piles of sheets, light-weight blankets, comforters and coverlets all on the bed at once with my HHS “signed “friendship” quilt (gift) across the foot. At the foot of each bed in the house I have “nap blankies” to pull up and add to my resting comfort depending on where I am when I “hit the wall” each day--- Hoptown chum’s, cross quilt (gift) on the “mud” bed (a Liles term for Tempur-Pedic mattress) my grandmother’s quilt in the guest/Mommar’s room, and my teacups afgan (gift) on the window seat in the computer room. It’s also why I have a BIG prayer chair with wide enough arms to hold my morning “cuppa” and my “gift” prayer shawls. Plus, my closet houses more comfy clothes with pockets and adjustable/expandable waists than “decent” clothes and certainly more than formal attire.

Since MAC (my rare cancer), I have had folks from everywhere ministering to me and offering LOTS of extraneous comfort. I’ve probably brought some “sunshine funds” to the brink of bankruptcy and depleted pantries all over the Mid-South while overusing all my prayer warriors. But God…....He doesn’t go bankrupt, get depleted or overused. I know that. He has been my counselor extraordinaire since diagnosis day, January 13. He knew what was down the road for me. Because He understood my future He was the One who could direct my path. I didn’t have a clue---and neither did most of the medical world---but He did. And that was great comfort to me. As I walked the path set before me, He offered comfort through so many of His children.

Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all Comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (II Corinthians 3-4)

He Himself was my Comforter…..and still is.