Quest continues ...emotionally, part 2

2/1/13 The verse I closed with last night, because I was too tired to continue the blog, reminded me that fear is not from Him.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Looking back on the week, (after my home invasion) I saw that fear, which is from the pit,  robbed me of that sound mind that comes from His hand. I had spent a week in limbo---that fear permeated so many of my thoughts that everything seemed to be LARGER than life.

The limbo of waiting exacerbated by fear:

• Waiting for the police to arrive
• Waiting for peace of mind to return
• Waiting for a coherent thought to take shape
• Waiting for "walking" weather so I could walk---not only to clear my head but to continue "training" for upcoming rigorous trip to Disney World
• Waiting for blood work from lab that had to be "redone"
• Waiting in 2 doctor's offices for "scary/unknown" procedures 
• Waiting for physical therapy on leg/hip pain to diminish pain
• Waiting for biopsy report---on a place above my eyebrow I had never even noticed

But God, on the anniversary of THE event.....sent a late afternoon message that face biopsy was negative.

But God.......in His love and mercy sent a blog comment of encouragement from a long ago student, Nancy E.

But God.....in His goodness had me open a email this morning (though sent yesterday from Australia) from Jesus Calling author, Sarah Young, who has also experienced the violation of a break-in. She is praying.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him. (Psalm 40:1-3)

Quest ends where it should have begun...with the Lord.

The Quest continues.....

1/31/13 The physical quest. The spiritual quest. What about those on a quest for emotional healing?

Considering that question one week after THE event.

The Quest

1/30/13 Most of us are on a quest of some kind. 
Recently, I’ve been on a physical quest. I’ve been in pursuit of healing coupled with answers to all kinds of medical questions. In this endeavor, I have discovered that such a pursuit needs to be intentional. Not only is the right equipment required, but it is also crucial to have a guide, close at hand, to help execute the exercises correctly. The PT knows what’s best for each individual. He’s read the text. He understands the best way for me to attain my intended purpose. He knows why I am there!

Equipment for physical health

As I’m studying to teach Ecclesiastes, I am clearly seeing that my spiritual pursuit needs to handled in much the same way as my physical one. No plop and drop method with my Bible---- hoping for the right verse to jump out----but an intentional study of God’s Word. Along with the Bible there’s other material to equip me and to help me better understand the teaching therein. Great strengthening comes from my daily exercise of being in His word. But it is also crucial that I am guided in this pursuit by the One who understands the text. Therefore, I pray for guidance from the One who fully understands the words because that One inspired the text.

Equipment to aid spiritual health

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness; (2 Timothy 3:16)

My quest, in both instances, is to lean not to my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) but to trust the ones who truly know to guide me in my pursuits.

"Dancing thru the puddles from recent storms"

1/29/13 Hearing these lyrics recently.....

If I had no voice, If I had no tongue, I would dance for you like the rising sun. And when that day comes and I see your face. I will shout your endless glorious praise.

I searched out the entire song, "You Are". (And downloaded it from iTunes)The words seemed to speak to my heart as I continue to "work" through some "storms" right now! Let me rephrase that---as I try to dance through these storms----just trying to praise God as I dance in the residual rain and puddles of several recent storms. Once again the Lord will turn my mourning (& fear) into dancing & clothe me with gladness----I know He will. (Psalm 30:11) Click the screen and enjoy----and even dance around if you choose!

When I can’t find the words to say how much it hurts You are the healing in my heart When all that I can see are broken memories You are the light that’s in the dark Chorus: You are the song, You are the song I’m singing. You are the air, You are the air I’m breathing You are the hope, You are the hope I needed. You are And when my circumstance leaves me with empty hands. You are the provider of my needs. When all my dirtiness has left me helpless. You are the rain that washes me.

FAITH FOUND

1/28/13 Entering the bathroom (designated crime scene by Memphis police) I saw that my small silk travel jewelry pouch had been dumped on the countertop. Mostly just scattered pieces. My heart stopped because I didn’t see my “FAITH” necklace that daughter, Molly, had given me before my ’08 Mexico mission trip.

Heartsick. “What Faith Can Do” lyrics (Kutless) came to my mind. “Gotta face the clouds to see the silver lining.” Similar to “dancing in the rain when storms come.”

Life is so much more

Than what your eyes are seeing

You will find your way

If you keep believing

Turning, I saw the “sparkle” in the sink---my necklace and a Revlon fingernail file.

A silver faith necklace left behind was my silver lining.

As the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith,” (Luke 17:5) I think the Lord is using this home burglary trial to increase my faith. As James 1:2-4 states it, ”test my faith in a way that produces endurance that such endurance might have its perfect result, that I might be perfect, and complete, lacking in nothing."

SABBATH SNAPSHOTS: ENTERTAINMENT--- my 1,000th blog entry. Where has time gone?

1/27/13 

This past week had grandson, Owen, staying with us while his parents were in Atlanta---part business & part anniversary celebration. To say that Owen is not a morning person is putting it mildly. But God.....created birds. (Genesis 1:20-23) Red-shouldered hawks. The one who has taken up residence in our neighborhood provided morning entertainment that helped Owen ease into his day.

From tree top..... 

.....to patio perch.....

....before turning his back on us....

....& jumping to the the ground.....

.....to walk around the grandboys climbing magnolia tree......

.... 'til flying off with a raucous  goodby!

NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!

"All a-dither"

1/26/13 "All a-dither" was a term used by "older" folks in my small town in my growing up years. In particular I think my grandmother, "Gena" Adams, used to get all in a dither over my mother's flamboyant ways. It's a term that could have described me yesterday---one day after THE home invasion. All caps THE indicates it was a very personal home break-in. It had indeed left me "all of a  dither"---an idiom from a Middle English word didderen, to tremble. My outward demeanor might not have manifested that behavior but my inner self certainly felt shaky and weak.

Dither---my actions in blue---because I think blue might be the color for a "funk mood"

• in a flutter or tizzy, (walking in circles or from room to room with no apparent direction)
• in a state of tremulous agitation, (feeling irritable and sad all at the same time) 
• to be unsteady in purpose or action, as from loss of courage or confidence, (stymied by indecision so nothing of purpose was accomplished)
• to be nervously irresolute in acting or doing, (couldn't decide door choice for replacement) 
• a state of indecisive agitation (inability to make decisions greatly frustrated me)

But God....whose Word always reminds me to "fret not," Dotsy, had a plan for me. First, lots of encouraging calls with offers of help, invitations for a "secure" place to sleep, and emails with prayers. Secondly, he had me up early for my Saturday prayer time, so routine for me that I didn't have to decide anything. That time has been assigned/decided for me for over 17 years now.

Once seated with Bible open, and assuming that fretting was akin to dithering, I chose to stay in my prayer chair for several hours. 

In my marginalia of Ecclesiastes 4:5-6, I had written (in 1991) that "dropping out" (i.e. folding hands and giving up) is not the answer and often we need to recognize our limitations and only make modest demands on ourselves in our desire for inward peace. 

The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh. One hand full of rest is better than two fists full of labor and striving after wind.

Hopefully no more "all a-dither" days but rather days with the One who is my peace and my security even when the back door is still just "rigged."

VIOLATION

1/24/13 This is NOT the blog I had whirring in my head as I pulled into my drive and saw what once had been my carport entry door--open with pieces of wood hanging down. At closer glance I saw hinges and splinters all over the floor. And then I knew......

I ran next door while calling hubby and my neighbor called the police.

Welcome Home doesn't feel so welcome.
Didn't they read the verse at the back door or see the cross hanging in the window?

Real emotional violation occurred when I saw the ransacked bedroom. After dumping things on the floor as they cleared the drawers the burglars even took the top drawer in its entirety. That drawer was from the chest my Great Aunt Jewel had purchased in 1906----the emptiness a constant reminder. A reminder of several irreplaceables in that drawer. The only "love" letter I had of my Daddy's written to Mother during World War II, after the birth of their son, Buddy. The gold necklace with my grandkids names on it. My watch, hubby's wedding gift. 

"Batesville" Carolyn, understood and described it as a "theft" of our security."

Margie H. understood that the loss that goes beyond the cash and the jewelry to the personal--- "especially, sentimental things that they took from you and have hurt your heart in doing so.  The people who do these kinds of things suffer from “cold hearts of stone.” 

God understands too. I'm sure there is a life lesson in this for me as I prepare to teach Bible Study in just 3 weeks. The first verse in the lesson I'm teaching at church in Ecclesiastes 3:16 reads:

Furthermore, I have seen under the sun that in the place of justice there is wickedness and in the place of righteousness there is wickedness.

Though Ecclesiastes 12:13 & 14 is not part of my lesson assignment, I think I will definitely incorporate it into my lesson.

The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: (A)fear God and (B)keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.

Violation is the wickedness that happened at my house today between 10:45 and 11:45 am. 

But God.....can use it for good. (Romans 8:28)

NATHAN ZACHARY LILES 1/22/2002

1/22/13 HAPPY 11^TH BIRTHDAY, NATHAN! 

I prayed "your" proverb for you today. You and your Daddy share the same Proverb so I've been praying Proverbs 22 for LOTS of years. I prayed several verbs for you to focus on from 10 + of the verses. 

Choose....a good name. Remember the Lord. Fear the Lord & gain humility. Keep away from paths of the wicked. Share with the poor. Love a pure heart. Speak with grace.Pay attention to wisdom. Apply heart to wise teaching. Have wisdom on lips. Be honest. Speak truth. Serve others......so that your TRUST MAY BE IN THE LORD.

1st Day pre-school, 2005 

Pre-kdg. heritage trip to Memphis with Daddy, 2007

Books inspire action, 2008

Big Water 2009

Spring Break in Memphis 2012

Skiing Monarch, CO---2011

It blesses my heart to know that you walk in truth.

Hope you have a blessed birthday. I love you. Shug, your "blogging" grandmother.

Inauguration 2013---A Meditation for the USA

Lost URL citation but I believe this is a getty image

1/21/13 Just hours ago President Barack Obama re-took the oath of office for President of the United States (publically) His wife Michelle held both Martin Luther King's Bible and Abraham Lincoln's Inauguration Bible as President Obama placed his hand atop them and swore to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. Yesterday, He took this same oath with his hand on the Robinson family Bible. Joe Biden took his oath of office for vie-president with his hand on the Biden family Bible. Earlier today the Obama's attended services at St. John's Episcopal. I'm sure there are Bibles in the pews there as well. All of these Bibles would have 2 Chronicles 7:14. It's the verse I will pray today for our country, including a prayer for those 2 leaders to find that verse and use it for meditation as well.

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Seeking God in humility and prayer is worthy of meditation on this Inauguration Day.