Connections

12/31/10 This blog was started in my mind during the early morning when I was somewhat spiritually connected. The thoughts continued to bounce around throughout the day when I was connected physically with feeding or rocking and corralling 6 little boys. In a way I was even emotionally connected to those bloggish thoughts because I seemed to cherish the ideas. Now, I sit at the computer trying to reconnect with those thoughts and I am totally disconnected mentally. Plus, it's 6 minutes past John Parker's bedtime (and he's watching me from his makeshift bed, a pack 'n play) so it's time for me to disconnect the computer and say goodnight.
If and when I reconnect with those thoughts, I'll let you know.
Happy New Year!

Pathways

12/29/10 It's hard to find a clear path in my house especially a pathway to the computer because John Parker sleeps in the computer room. Not to worry, I wouldn't change one aspect of this Christmas visit for anything. However, as soon as this maze does clear I have some THOTS about paths that I'd like to share.

This is what the LORD says:
“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16

The last part of that verse says, "But you said, ‘We will not walk in it." I do know that would not be a wise response. I also know that my (and probably your) life's journey has lots of twists and turns. I know, too, that without the Lord to guide me on the right path or the good way, I cannot walk in confidence.
It would be more dangerous than trying to find a pathway to my computer as I tiptoe in the dark clearing the path as I go. Stepping on those little lego toys that "bite" and trying not to bump the pack and play---virtually impossible. I can't walk with confidence when I can't see the path. That's why there aren't many blogs this week. But.....as I finish up this post, I hear John Parker praying for God to bless Shug (and lots of others) and thanking God for Jesus who got out of the cave and is alive. I am praying that all my grandboys find the pathway to Christ and walk in that good path all their days.

What’s your Christmas morn cup of tea??

12/25/10 This morning during my “Warriors on the Wall” prayer time, I noticed that Pastor Cole asks for prayer for sensitiviTEA, puriTEA and humiliTEA toward the Lord and in ministry and life! 
 Certainly excellent choices for one who shepherds God’s flock.

What’s your cup of tea this Christmas morning? I hope that we all sip from the cup of eterniTEA!

Merry Christmas and God Bless!! (Luke 2:1-20)

“DANCER”

12/24/10 A recent e-mail quiz had folks answering questions to figure out which of Santa’s reindeer they would be? I already knew that I would be dancer. I’ve got the hand towel hanging in my bathroom to prove it. The towel was a gift from my delightfully crazy, Hanukkah celebrating, water aerobics instructor and friend, Jan. That was 2 years ago---before the big C diagnosis. Today that towel has special meaning because of all that I have learned in my dance with the Lord.

Taking the quiz, I “scored” Dancer!


I just knew I would be Dancer because the Lord has “turned my mourning into dancing and girded me with gladness” (Psalm 30:11) time and time again.

Pity Party for One---Reservations Cancelled

12/22/10- Mom will post as soon as she can hold her head up.-Molly

Norman Rockwell, Hallmark and even food network usually team up against me this time of year. The ever perfect, glowing Christmas vignettes of happy families set a bar way too high!. If I’m not “intentional” about bring “every thought captive,” those images can wreak havoc with my psyche---probably mine and every other mediocre mom, grandmom, entertainer/hostess who tries to do it all and do it perfectly.
This year, I thought I was well enough ahead to keep “perfection” at bay---I had my lists, I had 3 upcoming Christmas events semi- under “control,” plus I coordinated dental appt. to coincide with my break, scheduled lunch with a friend whom I don’t see often, revamped my schedule to accommodate 7 house guest (& maybe 6 more visitors, which I would love) ………….and then, I got sick. The kind of sick that you tend to feel in every part of your body. Not a pretty sick---but the “tummy bug” kind that requires the upchuck bucket and lots of t-paper. (TMI)

Here’s what I wrote with a freshly sharpened "Buddy and Charlotte" pencil on a Baylor Medical notepad (pencil & paper always my bedside décor, regardless of season) Even when I couldn’t hold my head up, I scribbled between dozes so that I would remember ----Acceptance. Plans can change. Decorations can be incomplete. Casseroles can be served without paprika. The rolls can be Sister Schubert, not homemade---though (not to worry Mother) they will be served in a starched and ironed linen roll cover. If it’s a virus 24 hours isn’t forever. Blogs don’t have to be completed.
I don’t have to choose feeling sorry for myself. I am cancelling that pity party invite. I am choosing to say Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. So far, my night has been 12 hours of glorious sleep and I’m snuggling back under the covers for a long winter’s nap hoping that this throbbing will quit dancing in my head.

Ten-Lords A-Leaping.....

12/20/10.........is our sermon series showing the 10 commandments as the pathway to joy. All of us want enjoyment in life but time and again we look for it in all the wrong ways. Too often, these ways, (especially in excess) can be ways of pain---relationships, adultery, alcohol, achievement in workplace, praises of others, etc. We can actually become enslaved by these pursuits of pleasure and significance. Exodus 20:2 keeps me considering what I’m enslaved to. I am becoming more and more aware of desires, excessive, possibly) and “pursuits” (many well meaning) that I think will bring me joy. What are the gods in my life? That’s the question I have begun asking myself.
Here's a peek at page one of my "sermon notes."

• Idolatry is…..desiring something else more than God.
  
• Idolatry is….conflict with God---most intense where our idols (desires) are most appealing.
  
• Human hearts are idolatry factories.
  
• We might not carve out idols with our hands but we create our own idols when we carve God out of our hearts.
  
• We’ve upgraded idol technology so that it’s not so overt----SELF.
  
• Desire in and of itself is not wrong but…….must consider where those desires are placed, i.e. success & achievement.
  
• Idols get our priority, time, attention & sacrifice.
  
• New Jeep Cherokee ad says, “the things we make, make us.” (an idolatry axiom of our culture today)
• Emerson quote, condensed,---"Gods we worship write their names on our faces…..that which dominates his life will determine his character………..what we are worshipping we are becoming."

1 And God spoke all these words:
2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
3 “You shall have no other gods before me.
4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; (Exodus 20: 1-5a)

Use these words today to help you consider which gods are foremost in your life. Choose to worship the only true God, the One worthy of worship. Carve out time during this season to return to the Lord who gives the kind of love that will have you (and me) leaping for joy.

Me, ingenuous?

12/19/10 Not exactly but………...with a little help from some yet to be named folks, I pulled it off. I told Larry that I did it all myself---but he’s not buying that.

Here’s the scoop.
Larry is not a big fan of “my” brown sofa (from Springers, no less) in our den. Though I’m the one using it 99% of the time, he says it sinks way down anytime anyone sits on it. So yesterday for the ingenuous gift, that required only a “small” tip and some holiday “goodies,” I gave Larry a “new” den couch for Christmas for 1 year. Didn’t go to Aaron rentals either. I just sent Larry to Kroger with an unusual list of hard to find items. Then, I, and my elves, merely transported the den furniture for seating, except his big recliner, to the living room. We then moved the living room couch into the den. That way the big couch, that in no way sinks down---Mommar’s feet wont even touch the floor when she sits on it--has become the den couch. My prayer chair was included in the swap as well, so there was definitely some sacrifice in the giving. The window treatments blend enough with the swap so hopefully my friends with a real decorator’s sense won’t be appalled. Maybe, they, like Larry, will think (at first glance anyway) that we got a “new” couch.

The gift wasn’t costly or time consuming but I still think it hit the mark. Ingenuous giving involves giving a little of yourself in a thoughtful, creative, resourceful and original way. I hope I met those requirements.

ingenuiTEA

12/15/10 Angie is one of my most ingenuous friends so it stands to reason that when it comes to gift giving she overflows with cleverness. Plus, she adds the personal element. Having opened her gift at school, I just had to try it out when I got home.

It’s an ingenuiTEA, the ingenuous teapot. How clever is that!!

It brews my loose tea in the water that can be heated right inside the cup and then will only dispense it when it’s sitting on a teacup. Otherwise it sits up on little “feet.” It’s a great gift for a tea lover who cherishes convenience, especially in the hours before dawn.

ingenuiTEA, especially in gift giving, is not my “cup of tea” or area of giftedness but I can certainly recognize it in others. They are thoughtful, clever, creative, resourceful, and original. Just plain ole good gift givers, like Angie---giving in both tangible gifts and in selfless giving of their time and energy.

God gives good gifts to all of us. He is the initiator of all ingenuity. He gives me family & friends and blog readers who shower me with gifts and encouragement. He gave His son Jesus. What an ingenuous gift!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, (James 1:17)

Hark and Harken...........

12/13/10---the seasonal words for listening attentively to God’s word and then applying it in your own life. It’s meditation, December style.
Tonight at BSF “my” favorite carol, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, was chosen for singing. It was the perfect backdrop for my meditative reflections.

10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (Luke 2:10-14)

Click on the title and you too can have the instrumental rendition of this glorious carol as you set your mind on this truth.

FATIGUE FACTOR

12/11/10 Last night’s Christmas party was fun even if we all were a bunch of “Friday Tired” teachers. Anyone who has ever taught understands that term. Our spouses are used to us forgoing Friday night entertainment because of this syndrome. But…..it’s the holiday. We all rallied. The fatigue factor was shelved for the night!

The Exner’s home was warm and inviting and the flying pigs on the mantel (Jeanne’s newest addition to her holiday décor) were delightful. How fun to get to know folks apart from the work setting. Good food, fun folks and lots of laughter made for a cheery evening. My laughter increased when I saw the "nap" napkins that Michelle, the other hostess, had put at the dessert table. The message put a smile on all our faces----those of us who share the “Friday Fatigue Factor” but had chosen to banish it and enjoy each other.

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: (Proverbs 15:13a)

The King is Coming---a reprise

12/9/10 Tonight is the last night of Hanukkah. I know because the last candle has been lit on the 2 menorahs that anchor our neighborhood. One is at the “house” synagogue. The other is a few doors down---its candles stay ablaze throughout the night. These last 8 days, Jewish families have been celebrating the “Festival of Lights” remembering the 165 .C. triumph of the Maccabees reclaiming their Holy Temple. Needing oil for the candles for the dedication, they found only enough for 1 night. Miraculously, the oil lasted eight nights--- Hanukkah commemorates this event.
As it’s still very dark as I’ve passed it each morning, I’ve watched the light increase. This morning I saw the shadow it made on the home. WOW---it was a crown in silhouette. This household is still waiting for their king to come. Around the corner at my house, there’s a sign by our manger and cross display that notes,"A King is Born. “The King is Coming.” He’s coming back for His own.

As Chuck Hodges sang so beautifully at Coach Al Brown’s funeral.

Regal robes are now unfolding
heaven's grandstands all in place
Heaven's choir is now assembled
start to sing Amazing Grace
Oh the King is coming the King is coming...

Oh the King is coming the King is coming...

(He's coming for me)

Whirlaway???

12/6/10 ……… A ride at Coney Island? A thoroughbred racehorse? A method for ridding the mind of whirring thoughts?

The whirring sound from the small bathroom heater that I placed on the bathroom counter mimicked the whirring that was going on in my mind. I don’t use a hairdryer anymore so on these cold days I place the heater where it can dissipate the dampness of my hair, at least a little bit around the edges, while I brush teeth and apply make-up, before hitting the brisk outside air of early morning.

This action is somewhat of a step back in time. As a youngster, my mother would have me sit in front of the open door of our gas oven and run her fingers through my hair from the scalp out---a drying technique similar to the one I use now. As a teenager, I used that bonnet-type dryer so that I could sleep with it on my head. Not sure how safe that was.

All these methods are time-saving devices used throughout my life as my mind has always had the tendency to whir into action once I get out of bed & continues to whir with the days agenda as I dress. That, my friends, is not a peaceful mind.

Nowadays, in order to slow down those whirring thoughts, I try to fill my mind with scripture. It’s scriptural to do that because it keeps one’s mind on the Lord. Try it you’ll like it---especially this scripture that verifies that truth. Choose the version that you want as your “whirlaway.”

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (Isaiah 26:3, KJV)

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3, NASB)

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3, NIV)

You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3, NLT)

ADVENT TRADITIONS

12/5/10 Today is the second advent Sunday of 2010. Advent Sundays are the four Sundays before Christmas Day. The entire advent season is a time of expectancy. Christian families wait and prepare for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Through the years we Liles have only done it “officially” on Sunday. But….we’ve done it so often we even have our own script. As each married and moved away, I sent an advent candle holder along with a copy of our script.
In the past, on the 2nd Sunday, I would have opened in prayer, our youngest child (Molly) would be lighting the purple candle of faith from last week’s lesson, Larry would read Matthew 1:18-24, middle child (Josh) would light the next purple “candle of light” (also known as the Bethlehem candle) after the devotional and oldest child (Buddy) would lead the singing of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and my favorite carol of all, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”

Now the script doesn’t quite fit our empty nest household---it doesn’t exactly fit Buddy’s either because he and Day have a lot more kids who will need a part. Whereas Molly and Corey only have one and Josh and Megan have none, it doesn’t fit their houses either and I’m afraid our tradition will die out.

Maybe each house will alter and begin its own tradition. Maybe that’s what Larry and I need to do because it feels lonely here when I think back on previous advent Sunday nights: the time our Jewish neighbors’ son came and came back again when he realized that the next time, Mr. Liles would be singing “We Three Kings” and he didn’t want to miss that; the joy on the faces of our kids opening those small gifts which were fairly predictable over the years---ornament, the first Sunday, magazine or book the second Sunday, etc; extinguishing our candles the Scrooge way---“scrooging” has a way of leaving spit dribbles on the candles.

One year we shared our traditions with friends. With everything organized with our kids so that they were also a part, we had it all planned down to the letter----except for the electricity going off. (& only on our street) It turned out to be memorable, probably more so, because of the “seeming” catastrophe. Cooking was done via extension cords over the fence from our back neighbors’ house and our grill. Gifts were given by candlelight so that those who received gifts with the “wrong” name could pass them on to others. The gift went on…

Tonight, if gmail cooperates, I plan to open an email sent by a friend from Germantown Methodist that includes an Advent guide. Maybe Larry and I will find just the right advent lesson for empty nesters who miss sharing this tradition with their kids.

Laughter that is good for the soul

(12/2/10) What does that look like? In the circle of stoic Christians, laughter can be almost non-existent or forced humor can look like a bad case of locked bowels. Surely it’s okay to have fun especially during this joyous season of celebration, which too often can turn stressful. But how? For me, it’s not too hard because I’m married to a comic. My older brother with his droll personality and his sometimes dry and always off the wall sense of humor with an uncanny sense of timing is also humorous----and that’s putting it mildly. Anyone who prefaces his questions with, “What in the tarnation….?? is witty in my book. Put the two of them together and life becomes “wet your pants” funny. But, they’re rarely together.

Most of you might not have folks like that in your life so you have to “look” else where, especially when life situations aren’t offering too much to laugh at or joke about. Big brother solved that for his wife, Charlotte, and me and my amigas, Gigi and Bonnie. He treated us to a comical feast---an evening with “laugh out loud funny,” Anita Renfroe. Renfroe helped us laugh at our belly rolls, our jigglies, our mammogram experiences, our hubby’s snoring and everyone’s bad breath. It wasn’t raunchy.
It was good, clean laugh at yourself entertainment. It blessed me beyond measure. I continue to remember tidbits and smile when I think about them. She’s a former Baptist preacher’s wife (former b/c he’s now her manager) so her humor not only brings out the deep belly laughs, but it goes right to the soul.

All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. (Proverbs 15:15)

On the go, on the go, on the go.........

12/1/10 .....and I'm afraid it's gonna snow, gonna snow, gonna snow. (in KY)
and it did and it was glorious!!



Even Col. Sanders was snowed upon.






Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! Psalm 133:1

"FIX-IT" MENTALITY

11/30/10 Is it a female thing? Or just a Dotsy thing? I am forever trying to “fix” situations so that I, or my loved ones, don’t feel the brunt of pain. My cuppa mental-i-TEA is sweetened with a spoonful of "fix-it" and sweet milk each day! Isn't that what all mothers drink in large quantities!

I’ve made it a life-long practice to run interference for others. When the kids were young it was so like me to have them come with their boo-boos so Mommy could kiss it & make it better. Even though I know children and adults alike learn in the midst of struggle and hardship, there is still this part of me that wants to minimize the pain. 

Problems are part of life---the first 5 words in this morning’s Jesus Calling entry. That was followed by the admonition not to let “fixing things” be a top priority. The spiritual flip to that was, “Talk with Me……rather than trying to fix everything, ask Me….” I was so convicted about this fallacy in my life that I talked to Karla about it during the beginning of 3rd period. (11am EST) Returning home around 4:30, the phone rang and the tone of Larry’s voice let me know something was very wrong. Josh has been in a wreck (around 11 am EST) he said---don’t worry, he’s going to be all right. 

 

He’s been at the hospital for tests and Megan has been with him. He’ll call us back later with more info though tests show no broken bones or concussion. Then Larry explained the wreck and I got weak and woozy and scared just hearing about it. 

Witnesses feared the worst for the rider.

Josh was on his Vespa, which he rides in his Brooklyn neighborhood between home & work, to ease traffic and parking problems. A car ran a red light and Josh saw it coming. He leaned the Vespa over not to be hit upright, I guess. The car ran over Josh and the Vespa but thankfully Josh stayed between the wheels of the car. The handlebars caught and Josh had the presence of mind to push away so that he wouldn’t be drug under the car wheels as his bike was. Both he and the Vespa were dragged ‘til the car wheels were jammed. 

Though weak and scrapped, Josh, much to the amazement of bystanders, crawled out from under the car. An ambulance was called and Josh was taken to the hospital, as stated earlier. While waiting on Josh to call us back, my thoughts have gone in so many directions. Josh whose baby pictures I had just put on the blog 15 days ago has had a close enough brush with death that it leaves me sick at my stomach. 

I can’t fix it. I can’t make it all better. But............I do know the One who can. 

....let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, (Hebrews 12:1b-2a) Let go and F.O.C.U.S. on the One who is in control.

The King is Coming

11/28/10 Join me in meditating on Psalm 24 on the first Monday of the Advent season.

1 The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, 
 the world, and all who live in it;

2 for he founded it on the seas 
 and established it on the waters.
3 Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? 
 Who may stand in his holy place? 

4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, 
who does not trust in an idol 
or swear by a false god
5 They will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God their Savior. 

6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, 
who seek your face, God of Jacob.
7 Lift up your heads, you gates; 
 be lifted up, you ancient doors, 
that the King of glory may come in.

8 Who is this King of glory? 
The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, you gates; 
 lift them up, you ancient doors, 
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory? 
 The LORD Almighty—he is the King of glory.

"In-between times"

11/28/10 That phrase sort of reminds me of the dash on a tombstone---the time between birth and death. During this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want to make the most of the time given without wiping out my good intentions with self-induced stress. Certainly my plate is full---I actually just leave my suitcase open in the hallway for easy repacking between trips. Yet, as Jesus Calling entries have reminded me everyday for a week, the key to making the most of “in-between” times is:

• Thank me. (11/21).
  
• Thankful attitude. (11/22)
  
• Thankful stance. (11/23)
  
• Thankfulness removes the sting of adversity. (11/24)
  
• Thank me in every situation. (11/25)
  
• Walk….the high road of thanksgiving. (11/26)
• Let thankfulness rule in your heart. (11/27)
  
• …life steeped in thankfulness. (11/28)

I was affirmed in my “in-between” musings as I just opened and read my son’s newsletter to Allen Bible Church & friends. Pithy with a punch---he says it much better than I could. (Bold print = my emphasis.)

A friend of mine once said, "There are three words every human being should learn to say: “Hello,” “Goodbye,” and in between, “Thank You." Recently, as a church family, we have said goodbye with tears of grief to loved ones and hello with tears of joy to new little ones. And the Lord is teaching us the brevity of life and the blessings of family and each other. In this season and our study of Philippians, He's reminding us that our citizenship is in heaven and we're "in between," and that each day "in between" is the time to learn to say, "Thank You."
I pray that you will truly take in this Thanksgiving as a gift from Him to be with your family, even the ones who bring to mind words other than "thank You." Scripture seems to indicate that life "in between" is best lived and at its richest when we give thanks because He is good. He is good. Whether your meal is a sandwich or a smorgasboard, I pray you and I marvel and thank Him for His goodness in giving us families, "best buds" but even taste buds, so we can savor the textures and flavors of this season and "taste and see that the Lord is good!" (Buddy Liles)

Thankfulness is the language of love for these "in between times."

BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS

11/26/10 I am not a shopper & have never been a shopper---but I was the daughter of one and am married to one. That's the good news! The bad news is the "ticker-tape" thoughts. You know the kind---those thoughts that allow the jettison of large amounts of shredded guilt and concerns to abound. The agonizing "bad at shopping" ones that continually float through, no matter how often I try to throw them out. All the ads and commercials fuel these feelings. I mull on all my inadequacies in this area and assume that's the reason I don't already have all my shopping done and gifts wrapped. Then I begin the control aspect. The overplanning starts. The list is made. A list that is impossible to accomplish in a given month, much less weeks. Good things are on that list---but I can't do them all. Panic takes hold. That's when the "grayness of my thoughts" (S. Young, Jesus Calling 11/26) begin to loom in my psyche. It's sad how quickly the gray can give way to black and all seems hopeless.
On this "black Friday" may I seek the light of his Presence. May I replace my guilt and fear with thankfulness. I might not tear up my list but I hope to "tweak" it with His input and not be afraid to "erase" the non-essentials.

THANKSGIVING TREATS

11/25/10 Daddy took Larry and me to lunch as “his” guests to the “Friendship House.” Actually, brother Bobby and Larry worked out the details because Daddy had even forgotten to sign up for himself. He had just responded to my comment of all I was cooking for our Thanksgiving lunch with, “I eat at Friendship House everyday.” So, as not to mess with his routine, I put the dinner in the freezer for another time.
As we left to walk over for the lunch, the rain started and Daddy, somewhat flustered, asked how we would get there. He sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know how to drive there. Whew, that put a lump in my throat!
Upon arrival, we entered a different door than Daddy’s “normal” entrance---this too caused momentary concern on his part---as if he feared being lost or not knowing how to escort me in. Heartbreaking.
Finding a table, with his name on it, he admitted that this wasn’t where he normally sat but we assured him this was his table because his name was written with “2 guests” included. Reading that helped a lot and the dinner turned out to be a real "tasty" treat.
It was also an eye-opening event for me. Walkers were everywhere----some lining the wall. Red, green, black, gray and several shades of blue. All with wheels, hand brakes and a little seat---some put their plates on that part. One lady lifted hers to deposit an extra roll. I assume for her later consumption. Daddy’s is black, though he didn’t need his because I was his walker. Almost every table had at least one pulled up beside it, though a few had canes and two folks were in wheelchairs.
The treat in all of this was not only being with Daddy but also in being privileged to see how family and caregivers don’t just discard the elderly.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don't neglect her………. (The Message)

Aging is difficult. As Daddy realizes how much ground he is losing both mentally and physically, it’s hard on him. It’s hard on all of us. It’s not life as we once knew it. Daddy is not a complainer but this season has recently discovered difficulties for him. He needs help in new ways. I see his fear when he announces that he can’t quite remember how to shave or admit that he can no longer find his way.
Yet, he still knows I am his daughter and he proudly introduced me to Pedro and Bertha, one couple whom he still recognizes from years ago. What a treat that was. He also introduced me to the lady at the next table. (Pauline Joyner, age 97) Then he leaned in and whispered, I have no idea who she is. What a treat to share that joke with him---though his “stage whisper” could probably be heard by half the room.
What a privilege it is to spend time with Daddy and honor him by giving back.

Ephesians 6:1) "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." (The Message)

TRUE CONFESSIONS

11/23/10 They say confession is good for the soul. In this case, it’s not me I’m concerned about, but you, my blog reader. My confession is for you. I don’t want my blog entries to set myself up as a user of Jesus as a “quick fix”---though He certainly can be if He chooses.

If you read yesterday’s entry, it probably seemed that I went from anxiety to calm in a matter of moments. What was not written was the times of anguish and out of control behavior that preceded that calm. Often times the blog entries are a synopsis of the event---from my poor choices to my right choices so that all is well. Trust me, all would be well a lot sooner if I would just keep my focus on Him. Some days I’m better at that than others. The good news is that regardless of my choices, He remains faithful. I want to inspire others with that truth---even when my actions seem to disregard it.

So--------------here’s the confession. Before I got to the washing away of the anxiety by being in His word and having a cup of tea alongside, I had complained to my hubby, had some “justified” anger that caused tears and tossed and turned several nights. I decided to “do something” for someone else. (still not sure if it was totally for someone else.) I made peanut brittle for Daddy. Old handwritten cooking times on the recipe were obviously for the old microwave because I burned the whole batch. I had a real come apart. Then I preceded to eat almost the entire SCORCHED batch

Anxie---TEA

10/22/10 Anxie---TEA. Not the drink of choice but I have certainly been drinking a lot of it lately. (Hm-m-m, maybe it is a choice.) I do know it’s so strong it has my stomach feeling pitted. It’s just all of life’s “stuff” and much of it I can’t change. I can only change my at-TEA-ude about it. One of the big problems of the continual sipping of this anxie—TEA is that it tends to overflow and “burn” others in my life. More often than not, the one’s closest to me. I need to put this cuppa down and refuse to pick it up.

I need a cuppa of soothing, calming serene---TEA! The best way to get that it is to sweeten whatever tea you’ve been given with
thanksgiving. I chose some chamomile and these verses from Paul.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

BTW---In the midst of all of this, in the dark thirty of arrival at work ,I broke my favorite tea cup---favorite because of its size & because I bought it in Cambridge, England. I remember running in the rain (getting drenched) with Larry & Abe & Peggy. (2002) Our little walkway lead us serendipitously down a lane to a tucked away tea room---so warm & cozy and their pot of tea hit the spot. Paying our tab I saw the little blue & white tea cup on a “sale” shelf----well the rest is history and on a rainy Tuesday a week ago the teacup itself became history. I call it my ”stress” fracture. Stress caused it & now both I and my cup are fractured.

Happy Birthday, Josh!

11/21/10 It seems that 35 years have flown by since I first brought my second son home from the hospital. I remember his little cap of dark hair so similar to what I saw on his nephew, Andrew’s, little head just last week. I also remember that he was born early in the morning and they only let me stay one night. 5 years earlier, with his brother’s birth, I had stayed 3 or 4 nights. On his our first night home in our big old Memphis State faculty house on Central, (I was teaching at the university at that time.) Josh got choked on all that fluid that still needed to be suctioned out. I panicked and it was Larry’s mother, Mommar, who came to the rescue.
He also had his days and nights mixed up and about the only thing that would make him sleep would be riding in the car. Many a late night, we would bundle him up and go for a spin---no seat belts, just a babe in arms or a car bed. (Haven’t times changed!)
I also remember my Christmas present from Larry that year (1975)---he stayed up with Josh all night, mostly walking the floor with him. I got a full night’s rest for the first time in over a month. Now that’s a gift.
Of course, Josh has been the real gift. And with him, as with each of his siblings, I’ve had other sleepless nights during those teen years but never once has he shown anything but love and respect for us and has brought us great joy.
Through the years, my gift to him has been prayer. I’ve prayed Proverbs 21 for him for both direction and protection……from verse 3, that Josh may always choose “To do what is right and just” because that “is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice,” and I praise the Lord for his generosity to us and others as he chooses not to “shut his ears to the cry of the poor” (v.13) as he continues not to show partiality.
Tonight his wife, Megan, has given him a gift of tickets to the Patriots/Colts game in Foxboro, MA. Now that’s his kind of gift!
(I keep scanning the fans as the camera pans the stadium to see if they focus on my baby boy on his birthday---so like a mom.)

Estate Sale

11/20/10 Passing the corner of Shady Grove & E. Shady Gove, I saw the Jerry Copeland Estate Sales sign in a familiar yard. I was “taken aback” as Mama Davenport used to say.

Usually an estate sale is held to “dispose of a substantial portion of the materials owned by a person who is recently deceased, or who must dispose of his personal property to facilitate a move.” (Dictionary.com) If not death, then downsizing, possibly to assisted living, comes to my mind. I was wondering about the reason for this sale because I have a connection, albeit small, to that home.

The house is close enough to my neighborhood that I pass it fairly regularly. I rarely pass it that I don’t have memories come flooding back. I think back to the “woman of the house” who so willingly opened those doors of her home to a bunch of young Pi Phi (college sorority) alums. It was there that we planned an event for the on-campus girls, which would also be held at her house. Her home was warm and inviting because she was so hospitable. I’ve never seen a “for sale” sign there since those years in the early-70s so I assume she continued to live there. For years I could recall her name. Today I couldn’t. That saddens me.

What I do remember is the warm feeling I got every time I passed that house. I was reminded of the fun times with sorority sisters both as actives and alums---many who now are sisters in faith. Even in our college days, we learned to consider one another more important than ourselves and to be mindful of our thought life---keeping it pure. What we didn’t consider was how short life can be or how quickly the angst of aging can come. At least, it seems to me to come very quickly.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. (James 4:4)

Consider this....

11/17/10 Consider how difficult it is to post a blog entry when said entry is on a flash drive that is not available----temporarily misplaced, maybe?? Imagine that!
11/18/10 FOUND! Consider how thankful I am to have my flash drive.

(Original entry) Jennifer, my H2H friend, sent me day 2 of CRM’s (Church Resource Ministry) “A Wonderful Week of Devotions focused on Thanksgiving.”

Day 2 
Allow your heart to assume a posture of gratitude.

That sentence started me considering all that I had to be thankful for in the middle of an otherwise muddled week. So many things were pulling at me---robbing me of my joy and yet I was being “nudged” to consider thinking on other things. How about you? Do you need to reconsider your thought life? As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he: (Proverbs 23:7) Maybe changing our thinking will change our heart and a posture of gratitude will follow.

Who is wise? Let him give heed to these things,
And consider the lovingkindnesses of the LORD. (Psalm 107:43) Certainly God’s goodness and kindness is something to be thankful for.

As your heart fills with gratitude and those feelings of thanksgiving begin to grow, consider telling others. (overflow) Otherwise it will be similar to wrapping a gift and keeping it all to yourself.

Today, let’s give thanks together. (Verbally) Consider the impact that would have on those whom the Lord has cross our path.

Meatless Monday

11/15/10 Food Network’s iron chef, Mario Batali, may have “meatless Mondays” at his restaurants but no “meatless Mondays” here. We all need to chew on the meat of God’s word even though I’m a little late dishing it up for you.

14 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! (meat) 13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid food (meat) is for the mature, who by constant use, have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:12-14)

THOT---don’t just look at the meat, chew on it and flesh it out----it’s the constant use of the meat from God’s word that helps one discern good from evil.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD .......

11/12/10 More info as soon as it becomes available. Buddy and Day have been at the hospital since 7 a.m.

ANDREW LAWRENCE LILES (strong lungs evident as his 4 big brothers viewed him through the nursery window) cap of dark hair
6 lbs. 14 oz. 19 1/2"
1:29 p.m.
Dallas
Margot Perot Hospital (Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital)

Mommy, Day, had breathing problems following delivery---docs have decided to keep her in lavor and delivery area for observation as a precaution only. She just ate some dinner so she should be well on her way to full recovery----that's our prayer.

Joyfully Expectant

11/10/10 Headin' to Texas for the birth of a new grandbaby----will keep you posted. Have already been praying for this new little one---for salvation at an early age and a godly spouse to "minister" alongside. Because as 3 John says I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: (Psalm 127:4-5a)

No. 2

11/9/10 The ubiquitous yellow No. 2. These pencils continue to be a standard in education. At the high school level, their main purpose seems to be in the test-taking realm. TCAP, ACT and other standardized tests require them. Exams and end of course tests that are scored using Scantrons still use them---maybe because the softer lead/graphite makes erasure easier.

Just yesterday, Tootsie sent me an e-mail with pencil art. I didn’t see any author so I can’t give credit but some really sharp pencil points were given. (Just had to throw that in because y’all know how I love my pencil points to be extra sharp!) Read and determine for yourself the spiritual implications of the analogy.

5 Important lessons for Pencils of Purpose

1. REMEMBER, EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL LEAVE A MARK.
2. YOU CAN ALWAYS CORRECT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE .
3. WHAT’S IMPORTANT IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

4. IN LIFE, YOU WILL UNDERGO PAINFUL SHARPENINGS, WHICH WILL ONLY MAKE YOU BETTER.
5. TO BE THE BEST PENCIL, YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD AND GUIDED BY THE HAND THAT HOLDS YOU.

As most of my readers know, I am constantly sharpening pencils, especially in times of stress. It’s just so therapeutic for me. However, I need to cease striving and like the good ole No. 2, allow the Hand that guides my life to hold me and use me for His purpose.

Plan A to Plan B to Plan C and so on...

11/8/10 I would say I’m already to Plan S this month but last week even that

"plan" didn’t work. My new “hold on to your mind” plan seemed to be a “bust.” In the night, every time I would awaken, I’d remind myself, 3 Ss---don’t forget. Swimsuit. Sympathy card. Salad dressing. Half way down the street, headed to work----Oh no, I forgot my swimsuit with the sympathy card right on top of it. Turnaround required. Arrived at work at 5:35 am and all was good “til I went to put away my lunch goodies and I don’t even have the salad dressing. So much for Plan S.

I do know the basics of the best plan for my memory struggle. I need to D.A.N.C.E. through it. However, the steps for this dance seem somewhat complicated, especially when I feel silly asking for inane things like recovering lost/misplaced items (though I did find the black bathing suit)

Regardless of how I “feel” I need to continue to call out to Him. That’s His plan for me. You probably need that as well. Therefore, think on these verses today.

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. (Jeremiah 29:12)

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3)

AWARENESS

11/3/10
Sometimes I feel as if I’m walking in a fog, or worse yet, driving in a fog. That is a scary thought----because I’ll look up (become aware of) where I am and wonder how I got there, since I have no recollection of passing familiar landmarks.

Have you ever felt that you’re on the threshold of something, you’re just not sure what? Am I entering or exiting? Coming or going? Often my threshold feels more like a revolving door, one without an exit. I just keep going around.

I can’t seem to recall those things I try so hard to remember. This is day 3 of my work week and I have yet to remember to bring Sunday’s Chinese leftovers for lunch. (At this point, I think I’ve missed a “use by” expiration date.) Even this morning coming in to work I realized I had picked up my swim bag rather than my book bag? On the other hand those things, I wish I could forget will creep back in as those “if onlys” whir around my mind, robbing me of my joy.

What is happening to the threshold of my mind? Is it A. aging, B. stress, or C. distraction? Maybe answer D----all of the above. The big question is what do I do about it? I don’t have a clue.
But God…………..gave me the word mindful.

Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness. (Psalm 26:2-3)

I just need to be mindful of Him and trust His faithfulness for my “awareness.” Maybe that way I will focus on what’s important, let some things go and see the rest as opportunities to “communicate more with Him.” (S. Young, Jesus Calling 11/3)

God's Answer

11/2/10………for Hannah Helen Hasslen is “Hannah’s home in heaven.” Early this morning Larry told me our son, Buddy, called last night with news of Hannah’s death. I felt punched in the stomach, sad all over, and at the same time grateful for God’s mercy. Just yesterday I had cried out to the Lord for mercy for that sweet little girl and an extra measure of grace for the family. Death was God’s answer.

Though death seems like a hard answer, God's goodness was evident as Hannah spent her last 3 nights at home. Doctor Hannah was able to see some folks, trick or treat (briefly) alongside her brother, Iron Jake, in a wagon & then have the best night’s sleep of the last month---in her own home. Sunday night did not bode so well as nausea and pain resumed along with anxiety of returning to the hospital. Monday’s plan was to take her to the American Doll store to look for a Ruth doll on the way back to the hospital for her noon appointment---as I understand it Hannah was never “fully” readmitted to the hospital but was sitting quietly in the transfusion area with her mom and dad as they stroked her hair when, as her father said, “it was as if the Lord just swooped in and took her home.”

Last “tweets” from the family that give insight into her final day.

November 1 Updates:

• 7:24 a.m. From best to worst! Han & Amy had rough night with no sleep! Han nauseated all night---anxiety about going back to hospital today. (Remember the night before had been best night of sleep in over 1 month! Thank you Jesus!)
  
• 1:03 p.m. Need prayers for Han! Very sick in doctors office! All main blood tests came back worse! Jesus - we need You now!!
• 1:39 pm Waiting for dr. on next steps. Giving her fluids, blood & anti nausea meds. Prob readmit to hospital. Should feel better soon.
• 5:30 p.m. Update - doctors had decided to let Hannah go home after blood but then Han had crazy reaction. She's being admitted to hospital.
• Tonight @6pm, Hannah Helen Hasslen passed away & went home to the Lord! Her death was unexpected, sudden, peaceful and without pain.

11:01 pm We would like to thank everyone for their outpouring of prayers, support & love given to Hannah in her last days and to our entire family!

Hannah’s parents have requested that her service be a testimony to the character of God and a celebration of Hannah’s life. Also, in lieu of flowers, gifts could be given to the Samaritan's Purse - Operation Christmas Child because “Han loved filling those shoeboxes.” They have asked that the song “Majesty” be sung as that’s the song they sung over her when she was born.

Majesty, worship His Majesty 

Unto Jesus, be all glory,
Power and praise 

Majesty, Kingdom authority 

Flow from His throne, 
Unto his own, His anthem raise. 

So exalt,
lift up on high
The Name of Jesus

Magnify, come glorify,

Christ Jesus the King

Majesty, worship His Majesty 

Jesus who died, now glorified,

King of all Kings.

Hannah Helen Hasslan was God’s answer to a young couple’s prayers and now, though heart broken, her parents accept God’s answer as His best for Hannah and look forward with great hope to the day they will see her again.

F.A.I.T.H.

Focusing
All
I
Think
Heavenward

Saturday as opened my devotional book, (My Utmost for His Highest) a square of rich, linen writing paper fell out. Jeremiah 24:6-7 was written out on it. Mary Flo had given it to me last October 30. It's the reminder of her prayer for some folks whom I dearly love.

6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

Today as I meditated on this passage, I prayed those verses for them as well. Is there anyone in your life that you desire to pray, " God give them a heart to know You, that You are Lord?
Do you believe God for the answer? Do you ever struggle with that? Oswald Chambers (10/30 entry) states: that faith is boundless.

I'm struggling, so I'm focusing all I think heavenward---about this scripture as a prayer for those I love) Won't you join me in continuing to pray in boundless faith?

Diversi—TEA

10/28/10 As I set my tea cup on the counter this morning, it was reflected in my framed birthday card from Ashley B.
There is probably no one more diverse in my life than my dear friend, Ashley Bryan. Ashley doesn’t “talk the talk,” Ashley “walks the walk” and is without a doubt one of the kindest folks I have ever known.
So why the diversi—TEA nomenclature? We differ in gender--he’s a he. We differ in age. We're a generation apart. During WWII, before I was even born, he kept a sketch pad in his gas mask. We differ in race. His African roots come by way of Harlem & an Antigua ancestry. We differ in culture---even his home today is on a small island and his passion is preserving the folktales and spirituals of his roots. We differ in experience---his would take pages to list, mine not so much. We differ in distinction. He’s recognized in the art world and literary world with national and international awards under his belt---numerous Coretta Scott King awards, the 2009 Laura Ingalls Wilder medal from ALA for for substantial and lasting contributions to children's literature. In 2008 Ashley was recognized with S. Rushdie, E. Albee, and Nora Ephron as an NYC Literary Lion.

Ashley is all the above and so much more and yet he has been my friend regardless of the differences. One of his book inscriptions reads, "we be family." Together we embrace diversity.

For Molly’s 21st birthday he invited us to Isleford to steam fresh lobster. (her favorite food) He showed her his stained glass works of the 4 apostles made from sea glass & helped her make papier-mâché. He’s met Larry and stayed in our home. He met son, Buddy when he was in Dallas for the opening of the African American Art Museum. He met son, Josh when he was accepting the Society of American Illustrators lifetime achievement award in New York City. He meets up with me at literary conferences and introduces me to the “biggies,” somewhat oblivious that he is a biggie himself. Together we celebrate diversity.

A picture graces my wall that he painted because it “sang out to him of Dotsy.” If you ever check Ashley out on wikipedia, you’ll see him standing in front of a similar work. When he couldn’t make it to Dallas during my October ’09 surgery, he wrote a letter explaining the change. Later he called to check on me. That, my friends, is diversity at it’s finest.

It is truth practiced in love and should be the “color of our spiritual life” regardless of the color of our skin. Abounding love approves those things which are excellent and glorify the God we serve. (Philippians 1: 9-11)

Thanks Ashley for living out those lessons of diversi—TEA for me.