Sunday, February 1, 2009

Journal Jottings

2/1/09
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.

Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.

I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.

For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.

Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)

Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.

Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.

Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."

These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.

Camping Out

1/31/09
It’s not alliterative but it’s where the Lord had me today. This Liles crew has had many Saturdays spent "camping out” in the woods---all memorable but not all pleasant---in fact, the most memorable were those bordering on disaster. Our camping fiascos might discourage others from “risking the endeavor” but those crisis/catastrophes have become our shared jokes (which most people wouldn’t get---esp. our Deep Creek ones) Times of humorous reflections are good---definitely warming the soul. Today the Lord had me camping out in Isaiah 40.

Asked for No phone calls on LHH site today b/c 6:15 am. call sent Larry’s dad back into surgery to fix a leak in his by-pass and I needed unencumbered access to MaBell or whoever we have now since I dropped the old phone in the “tub” and Larry changed phones & our provider. Some days I just want an old princess phone with the curly cord---much easier to find. We now have 3 phones and I can never seem to find any of them. Even the battery on Larry’s cell has a way of going out when I pick it up.

After popping in to check on next-door neighbor & share some of my “bountiful blessing of potato salad,” I had time for an early morning walk---prescribed by WH as a great pre-surgery prep. It became more than that. It became a praise walk! It brought me back to Isaiah 40:26, “Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens, Who created all these……” The prophet is talking about the stars---and His one big star, the sun, was warming my back as I walked. His son was warming my heart—it felt great.

I also began to reflect on the “moonlight walks” of 1984. Larry and I would take Buddy, Josh and Molly on a walking adventure (mostly in their pjs). This would occur on the night the Almanac declared the “fullest moon” for each month, There were 13 full moons that year! I even documented (your not surprised, are you) where we were and what we did—had a snowball fight in March, walked in alley by Winslow’s house to our childhood tree house in KY, saw our moon from a ship’s deck as it reflected on the water of the Caribbean……..

Wrote a thank you note to Michele in Germany today b/c I received her beautiful book, Postcards from the Water’s Edge—about her cancer journey. As I went to put it in the envelope to seal it with love & a grateful heart and lots of stamps, I saw the verse on the stationery I had chosen---how had I forgotten---it was Isaiah 40:11---“He tends His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart…..” I am in His arms and though the tears are falling as I write, I can feel His heart!