Journal Jottings

2/1/09
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.

Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.

I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.

For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.

Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)

Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.

Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.

Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."

These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.