God's word gives us truth that guides our lives.....from birth until we meet our Savior in eternity. Sometimes He also allows struggles that we can learn from, especially in different season's of life. With four friends in Memory Care facilities this last year alone, I've seen the positive effects from those who have an understanding spouse walking alongside them at every step.
A recent "prequel" book I read, had me at the "dedication" & I kept reading.
This book is dedicated to every one living with dementia,
and to those who care for them.
As I began reading, I appreciated the background of the years of marriage which laid the groundwork of their long past. It rang out to me that all of us have things about our past that always live within. I know in my own life that I can remember lots from my past. As a twosome we can often finish one another's sentences or help recall a person's name, or a place or event. Often that helps if it is done in a quiet gentle way. However, the age-related ? short- term memory is suffering greatly. Even chatting can take its toll if one forgets where certain ideas are going. Many twosomes might have the same difficulties. As author Joe Siple said, "We don't have to have dementia to forget things." (p. 96) To me, it's the response to those lapses by a loved-one that brings tension.
My take away from the author's concepts of kindness toward dementia in this novel: Agreeing is more effective than challenging or "discounting with a deep belittling sigh of a "not again response"; Apologizing can be restorative if sincere; Allow the love through the years to be remembered and put the good of your loved one, regardless of mental or physical condition, before self.
He who loves his wife, loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28, ESV)
Being kind to each other is the best response, dementia or not.
