BLOGGLE

5/28/09 Blog + Boggle = BLOGGLE A game we always take to the beach each summer is Boggle------it’s a game where you try to take the jumble of letters and create words before the sand runs out in the hour glass (3 minute glass) Tonight’s blog is similar to that. You, reader, have to try to take the jumble of words here and try to make coherent thoughts out of them. This is a peek at my random thoughts as I have continued to think on subjects/ideas jogged by earlier blogs. Good luck.

Journal Jottings---relevant to breath --- Liking holding breath when big boys fell on me at the Kiwanis Pool one summer and I struggled to untangle from their weight and BREATHE--- felt desperate to break the surface of that water and gulp the air----or at the Duncan’s home where I learned to swim with other girls in my brownie troop and we tried to see who could hold their breath the longest.---- ---no other thought but wanting to win but..... SO needing that air---felt that way the night my mouth was sewn together and my nose was stopped up---am I that desperate for Him, yearning to be filled and quenched by Him, my living water? Filled with the fullness of Christ.

THOTS--- Breathe on me O breath of God---how do I know that phrase----hymn, maybe? 

Journal Jottings---relevant to “self” entry Love is conscious acts of self-giving, self-sharing, self-sacrificing and self-abandonment. Opposite =selfishness (source unknown, but taken from old Sunday School class notes) Affirms my earlier thought. 

THOTS---Do I hunger and thirst after rightousness? 

Journal Jottings ---relevant to a “real meal deal” blog My notes from John Piper’s, Taste and See, entry #65 “Faith feeds on the Word of God.” No steady diet of God’s Word----you get weaker and weaker---(like Grandaddy’s heart when it isn’t pumping that life giving blood w/ oxygen through his body) If your walk is getting weaker, check what you’re feeding on. Compare it (eating God’s word) to way you eat---one gulp of juice in the am while reading paper and packing lunches at same time won’t last very long. If such an eating habit continues, you won’t last very long---neither will your faith---you’ll starve it. What does starving faith look like---not much like faith/hard to recognize it (DAL) hard to trust, worship and rejoice in the hard times and lots easier to embrace sin, sometimes even “justifying it.” A starved faith walk is more of a stumble. God’s Word fosters faith. God’s Word is within us so that “your (my) trust may be in the Lord.” (Proverbs 22:18-19) If one really want to feed his/her faith night and day, he/she needs to meditate on the Word of God. We need something of substance (meat of truth) to bite into---that’s the nature of faith. “Faith exists by what it trusts. It has no life but what it gets from the truth it believes.” 

THOTS---Meditation and memorization helps feed our faith hourly, day by day. God’s Word is the best nutrition for a healthy faith walk. “Put faith food in the pantry of your mind”…and walk in faith.

Bitty Blog

5/27/09,,,,an itty, bitty Blog----
This will be more like blog bullets as I update a little. Actually, the only coherent time I had today when I could blog, I had no access----our electricity was out for over 2 hours. Not good when a computer needs “juice.”

• • Grandaddy taken back to ICU at 4:30 a.m.

• • Playing catch up at work continued but minimal stress b/c Angie has covered for me for months.

• • Larry and son, Buddy, and grandson, Noah on a long anticipated “heritage” trip

• • My gracious principal allowed me to use my lunch time to spend the 12-1:00 ICU visiting time w/ Grandaddy.

• • Long nap brought some refreshment to a depleted body---no electricity took away all the distractions from phone to computer.

• • Michele, my MAC survivor friend from Germany, arrives in North America. The possibility that we might meet this side of heaven thrills my heart.

• • Received e-mail from friend,Shirley, expressing well the privilege of prayer.

“I know many of you have your own griefs and sorrows and pains and difficult situations going on and I am remembering to lift you up too! Nothing encourages me to remember to pray for others than when I have pressing prayer needs of my own!”

• • Bernie’s phone message---Hebrews 5:14, “But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.” (NASB) THOTS---solid food=God’s word and practice = constant use/exercise of the truth—need to practice! Practice!! Practice!!!
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• • Phone call from Pickwick----the Texans and Larry saying, “Nite, I love you.”

Real Meal Deal

5/26/09 (Isaiah 55:1-3) What’s a “real meal deal to you?” Some might say, “…anything as long as I don’t have to cook it.” Or in a similar vein, “…if someone else is picking up the tab.” We all approach eating differently, not only in our food choices but also in our styles. Some are grazers so a buffet appeals to them. Others start by checking out the desserts first and order the rest of their caloric intake accordingly. Some folks even prefer meals because of the time of day they are normally served. How about eating styles---are you a little bite here and there as you savor each morsel and intersperse your dining with conversation? Or are you one who just eats all that’s in front of you as quickly as possible---maybe with a little “Wheel of Fortune” or “Nightly News” thrown in. Leftovers anyone? Some folks love them. Some won’t touch them. Those who enjoy them appreciate the rich flavors that seem to meld over time---just not so much time that they change color. Is your entrée always meat? Does a drink enhance your meal or detract from it. Does “saving the best for last” apply to you as you order dessert? Do you leave the table full and happy and go plop in a chair or do you choose to walk off a little of the meal? How about when you “taste” God’s Word? We all approach His Presence differently---but it’s through His word that we are able to “taste and see that God is good.” (Psalm 34:8) Living in a sin-saturated world as we do, it can be very difficult to find good, especially in the midst of deep pain and betrayal or difficult circumstances. Many people even try to bury the pain or emptiness with more food, often compounding the problem. We’re looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places. Like the “happy meals” of our local drive thru, we want something quick, (instant relief) that hits the spot, (meets our desires) doesn’t cost much (of our time, energy or $) and gives us a prize (one we select) in the end. We often use a “happy meal” approach to knowing God. We want Him to quickly meet us where we are, solve our deep gnawing hunger without asking too much of us and give us a prize, this side of heaven. We have unrealistic expectations of life. I heard one gal say, as tragedy struck, “This isn’t the movie I bought the ticket for.” In a way that’s true for all of us the first time “life” really doesn’t meet our expectations. It’s a false theology that teaches that life will always be easy and pleasant. The reality is that pain will come……….but so can joy. Deep joy can come even in hardship and suffering when we are in an abiding relationship with the Lord. We need to quit feeding on these false notions and “feed” on Him. Find your favorite time of day---if you like breakfast food, meet Him then. If you’re a night owl---meet Him for a midnight snack. If you want to graze, write a key verse or passage and take that morsel with you so you can feed on His Word throughout the day. Maybe the next day you could pair the “leftover” verse with a new but similar one to get a rich new taste of truth. If you want to “dine,” add inspirational music or create a cozy spot---maybe a “seat with a view” of His creation. Enjoy! Don’t rush through just to say you’ve noshed. Gorging on large obscure passages can cause pain as well, especially if you’re new at digesting His word. Take a few little bites at first and ask Him to teach you as you savor those truths. Then get up and exercise (put into practice) the truths that He has taught you---the more you use it, the more He will teach you. It will be like an on-going feast where you never get fat in an unhealthy way. Knowing Him takes time and energy but once you’ve tasted the “meat” & had a drink of the “living water,” “His words will become the “joy and the delight of your heart.” (Jeremiah 15:16) Find them and eat them!

Self is Ugly!

5/25/09 SELF is Ugly! A week ago today, I confessed some self-absorption in my life---I wish that were the only time that “self” reared its ugly head. I have some deep convictions about self centeredness----I may move from teachin’ to meddlin’ here, but I think I, and many others, need a wake-up call because life is not all about us. There’s a world of hurting people out there, people with lots of baggage who could use a listening ear. But….we’re (many of us) too busy taking care of #1!

SELF is #1!

S howing E xtreme L ove F or 1st person singular, “I” --me is grammatically correct. I. ME.  Both are self-focused. "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, give preference to one another in honor;" (Romans 12:10) Ask your self when is the last time you put someone else’s needs before your own—in an honoring way---not begrudgingly. This verse is food for thought or meditation since it’s Monday. Most think that the opposite of love is hate but in a way it’s selfishness---because you don’t have room in your heart to love others----it’s too full of SELF! 

Maybe it’s time we all ask God to free us from selfishness---empty our hearts of SELF and fill it instead with His love.

Memorial Day Weekend

5/22/09 Time with a vet----

Last week-end I took time off and spent it in Hopkinsville, KY with a very special World War II veteran, my Daddy. This week-end I’ll be spending it with another special veteran of that war, Larry’s daddy, who remains in ICU. That requires time and energy, especially emotional energy, so I’m not going to be on-line unless there is a medical update.

Larry and I just returned from the 8:30-9:00 p.m. visiting time. I saw answered prayers for which I was grateful: Grandaddy was awake and he could nod answers; he was not in pain; and he nodded affirmation when told he was loved. He cannot however breathe on his own yet and the ventilator keeps him from talking at all. That is very frustrating and he gets agitated because he seemed to have something important to say or ask and we were unable to interpret. This actually produced tears from him and that’s so hard to watch. I had to turn away to hide my tears. Larry was very positive and informative telling him of all the procedures that were “behind” him and the good results. He gave him hope for a better quality of life than he had been experiencing. He verbally acknowledged his frustration and encouraged him to be patient. Then he told him “happenings” from the day and mentioned all the folks who had called. I just held his hand and rubbed his head and prayed. Wish I could sing. I remembered the comfort that brought me when Buddy quietly sang as I drifted in and out after my surgeries. Next time I think I’ll read Psalms to Grandaddy---there’s no tune, but the Psalms were the hymnal of the Jewish people and this "Book of Praises" offers such comfort. Maybe just hearing the words will put a song in his heart and lift his spirit. That would lift my spirit.

Breath Prayers

5/21/09 Breath Prayers
Last night as we gathered around Grandaddy’s (Larry’s dad) hospital bed, we held hands and I prayed. Tears flowed, hands were squeezed. Grandaddy smiled and mumbled thanks. Today I read, “How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe”. (Daniel 10:17)
 I think that must be how Grandaddy felt last night. Having experienced others standing in the gap to pray when I didn’t have the strength, I understood his smile.
Trying to sleep when we got home was a different matter. I had watched Grandaddy struggling to breathe. I have known the fear that comes with being unable to breathe deeply. My mind began ticking just like the old wind up clock that was on my bedside table at 2211. That steady, continual tick-tocking; “what if-–will we,” “can he—if they don’t,” “will she—if he does,” “who can—if we don’t.” On and on the worries and fears dominated the silence of the night until they were like screams in my head. It was as if I were struggling to breathe just as I knew he was.
I had prayed God’s best for Grandaddy and all the family and yet I was living as if I had never uttered a word to the One who gives us our very breath. “Our life is but a breath.” I can trust Him for the outcome. I just needed to refocus. I began to practice the breath prayers. As I inhaled God’s word in my mind, I would exhale the scripture with my mouth. My friend Margie first shared the idea of “breath prayers”---because she did it for me while driving home from Arkansas the day of my first surgery. “I was praying for you, breathing in and breathing out….that the Bread of Life in your heart would protect you.”
This morning with the phones down at work, I was late receiving Larry’s call. The 1pm procedure to “help Grandaddy’s breathing” had been cancelled because Grandaddy had been unresponsive at around 7am. They had to take him to ICU to try and stabilize him. As I drove to the hospital, I began to “breathe” prayers of thanksgiving to the One who breathed into Grandaddy the breath of life enabling him to become a living being---father and grandfather. I acknowledged that our life is but a shadow, a mere breath and that our time on earth is short---but an eternity is spent with the One who gives Spirit and understanding. I committed his life to the One who knows the number of his days and once again asked His best for Grandaddy with heaps of mercy for him and the rest of us as well. To God be the Glory!

Proverbial Prayers

5/20/09 Happy "1year+1day" Birthday, John Parker Liles! I couldn’t write this last night because I had not prayed John Parker’s special birthday prayers at the time I sat down to blog. For each of my children and their spouse and my grandchildren I pray the Proverb that corresponds with their birthday. I’m not sure how that started but it seems to work well in leading me to pray for and against some of the characteristics that are mentioned. I pray verses from “their Proverb” chapter from birth onward but especially on their birthday. So yesterday, I prayed from Proverbs 19 for John Parker, Buddy and Day’s 4th son. Proverbs are not promises but there’s much wisdom given. Dr. Duane Litfin, said the Proverbs were God’s guidance for life choices. I want God’s wisdom to be foundational for life choices for my family. I desire that as a wise man or woman they will always trust God even when they do not fully understand Him. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” (Proverbs 1:7) Prov. 19 Bible marginalia for John Parker: • Walk blameless throughout life • Temper his zeal in order to balance it with wisdom • Guard him from folly that his heart may love Thee • Grant godly friends all of his days • Guard his tongue from lying---fill him with Your truth • May generosity flow from him to others • May He be rich in spiritual gifts • May he gain wisdom and cherish understanding • May longsuffering be a part of his character • May he be truthful in all things • A godly wife, a gift from Thee • Enlarge his heart to be kind to the less fortunate • Use his parents to discipline him wisely • Nourish himself on the truth of God’s Word • Give ears to hear Thee and his parents & to respond wisely • May he always turn to Thee, O Lord---------A-men & A-men!

Confessions of a Nap Queen

5/19/09 Napping
I am a self-professed napper-----in all the verb tenses. I nap. I have always napped---as far back as I can remember. In college my friends teased me that I majored in early childhood because napping was a part of the curriculum. One friend, Susan, also used to tease me that my tombstone would read, “Just down for a 5 minute nap.” I will continue to nap every chance I get. It is beneficial to me---some folks say it’s good for the heart. My naps are more of the short power nap variety. Today my nap helped refresh my mind from a tiring day. According to William Anthony, author of the Art of Napping at Work, a 20-minute nap can improve your overall alertness, boost your mood, and increase productivity. I, at least, wait until I get home to nap. Naps are restful for me!

There is also a theology of resting. I’m just scratching the surface with it but…… knowing Him allows real rest. Today’s God Calling entry said one is able to rest knowing all is safe in God’s hands. “Rest is trust.” It’s more than just ceasing from activity. It’s an active knowing. “Be still (cease striving) and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) Note that the verse doesn’t end with just the ceasing of activity—that can be a form of distrust---but it becomes rest/trust, as one knows that He is God!
I can rest in God and that’s a real refreshing, beneficial power nap---one that’s really good for my heart.
Tonight, “Rest in the Lord,” (Psalm 37:7) knowing that He gives to His beloved even as they sleep.

To Mask or Unmask

5/18/09 A “Smile on a Stick” can be a good thing---it hides scars and wounds but lets people see your “smiling eyes.” Talking with high school chums this past week, I was reminded (by them) that the yearbook had dubbed me, “Merry, vivacious and always smiling”. I think they were giving me permission to take my mask off. 

It was my “self” that was keeping it on. Of course, I do need it for sun protection (doc’s orders) and to keep flowing bodily fluids hidden but…..I can take it off---it’s just hard. Hard because the lips are so noticeably crooked when I smile---and I have trouble not smiling, sometimes. It reminded me that SELF was an area where I still needed work. My friends accept me. Why can't I accept myself,

My meditation verse has already convicted me that it’s not about me, it’s about Him. Not me, but Thee. "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts, boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things says the Lord." (Jeremiah 9:23) 

THOTS---let not an overly sensitive gal boast that she once she had a smiling countenance. 

Comparison is not from the heavenly realms. If we compare we despair! I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made---how about remade? I KNOW how bad it could have been, I KNOW things change daily but I also know it’s not what I’m used to seeing---do I sound ungrateful? Forgive me Lord. I’m still struggling here. Thank You that I am rich in blessings from this “event” in my life. Thank You that You can teach me wisdom in this that I can share with others. Thank You for Your lovingkindness to me as I heal. I have come to KNOW thee in a deep way through this struggle—and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, not even a straight mouth. 

Thank You that I have a safe haven like Houston High School where I was able to go "unmasked" today---they accept me scars and all!! Those are my THOTS—What are yours as you meditate on this verse?

Hospital Visits

5/17/09 Hospital Visits There are good hospital visits and those that aren’t so good. This time last week, I was at Baptist Women’s Hospital awaiting the birth of a great niece. Today I was at a different hospital holding my father-in-law’s hand and praying for him as he had just received a rather grim prognosis. Fear of the unknown was somewhat quieted as he was encouraged to “trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God.” Various doctors were in and out all afternoon and more tests and scans were done, charts read and reread and a time of waiting set in---his body seemingly fading but his mind as strong as ever. In that time, I saw him grab the hand of his wife, his Mary, our Mommar, and squeeze it so that she began to relax and feel better. While she might not realize where to go when she walks out of that room, she knows where she is at that moment. I venture to say that she wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else in the world. When he has hold of her hand, as frail as he is, she feels secure. What confidence she has in him to make everything all right for her. There is indeed a security in knowing the one whose hand you hold---sometimes it’s more of them holding yours. I think that in room 551 at St. Francis Hospital, while Grandaddy held Mommar’s hand with his right hand, he was trusting the Lord to hold his other hand and to give him a little more strength, just so he could pass it on to her. As I was leaving, a lullaby played over the hospital intercom---a signal that a baby had just been born. What a way to celebrate life. Even Grandaddy holding on to his wife’s hand was in his own way celebrating the life he has had with her for almost 65 years.