2/17/09 Ears that Hear
I’m thinking blogging might be very short tonight---it’s been an extremely difficult and emotionally taxing last 48 hours dealing with family issues---poor health and aging can be tough on everyone.
Give ear to my words, O LORD, Consider my groaning. (Psa. 5:1) I don’t how much I verbalized but my body was groaning with the weight of circumstances that truly aren’t even mine---I just care about those involved and feel so helpless. I know God hears—Scripture validates that.
The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry. Psa. 34:15
O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear ….Psalm 10: 17
But what about listening----do I have ears to hear---it seems so hard right now.
So here’s the assignment---what does God’s word say about listening/heeding?
BTW, Psalm 34 (which Larry read to me last night) validates not only the truth that God hears but He cares and takes action on our behalf.
17 The righteous cry, and the LORD hears
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Okay, I feel better, just tired, so I’m going to bed and leave the homework to the “students.”
Nite, I love you as all the Liles say!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Hearing/Heeding
2/16/09 Meditating on hearing/heeding----
My obsessive self-control (ar) showed itself again on Valentine’s Day, as I felt I could only write in my journals, if I had a red pen-----so I used one-----I wrote----I felt better, and silly, at the same time. A lot of V-Day was spent at the hospital with Grandaddy so I didn’t have lots of time for reading until almost “lights out” time, when I’m usually way past any point of comprehension ability. I read My Utmost for His Highest entry for that day and I’ve reread it every day since.
"What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops." Matthew 10:27
"At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Songbirds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him." (need ears to hear, Dotsy) "What I tell you in darkness"---watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut." (Docs are taking care of that part---sewing it shut for a couple of weeks---maybe I can learn before then and that procedure won’t be needed.)
"Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen…….but, listen and heed………..hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light."
The teacher in me senses an “Assignment: Ears” coming down the pike. Hard to believe it’s been 42 years since that first teaching job at Richland Elementary as J. Cawthorn’s afternoon kindergarten aide----my main impetus being financial gain ---$50 a month. I wanted to earn “spending money” for my first European tour w/ the Memphis State Art Dept. $$ has always been an area where the Lord has had to be patient with me---slow learner here. But God………Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abunDANCE. Incline your ear & come to Me. Listen that you may live; (Isaiah 55: 2-3)
I'm glad that today I backed off of “perfection” and sought a quietude of sorts---that calm, peacefulness that comes from Him---whether in the solitude, that I seem to require great amounts of lately, or in the midst of life’s bustle----that usually can only occur after I’ve had time in the Word----then it’s an overflow of sorts. I plan to mediate on "listen that you may live" ---because with me living doesn't count unless it's done with Him----that's why I equate living/life with dancing----He's always alongside----maybe if I'll listen close enough I'll hear Him humming our song.
My obsessive self-control (ar) showed itself again on Valentine’s Day, as I felt I could only write in my journals, if I had a red pen-----so I used one-----I wrote----I felt better, and silly, at the same time. A lot of V-Day was spent at the hospital with Grandaddy so I didn’t have lots of time for reading until almost “lights out” time, when I’m usually way past any point of comprehension ability. I read My Utmost for His Highest entry for that day and I’ve reread it every day since.
"What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops." Matthew 10:27
"At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Songbirds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God's hand until we learn to hear Him." (need ears to hear, Dotsy) "What I tell you in darkness"---watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut." (Docs are taking care of that part---sewing it shut for a couple of weeks---maybe I can learn before then and that procedure won’t be needed.)
"Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen…….but, listen and heed………..hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light."
The teacher in me senses an “Assignment: Ears” coming down the pike. Hard to believe it’s been 42 years since that first teaching job at Richland Elementary as J. Cawthorn’s afternoon kindergarten aide----my main impetus being financial gain ---$50 a month. I wanted to earn “spending money” for my first European tour w/ the Memphis State Art Dept. $$ has always been an area where the Lord has had to be patient with me---slow learner here. But God………Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abunDANCE. Incline your ear & come to Me. Listen that you may live; (Isaiah 55: 2-3)
I'm glad that today I backed off of “perfection” and sought a quietude of sorts---that calm, peacefulness that comes from Him---whether in the solitude, that I seem to require great amounts of lately, or in the midst of life’s bustle----that usually can only occur after I’ve had time in the Word----then it’s an overflow of sorts. I plan to mediate on "listen that you may live" ---because with me living doesn't count unless it's done with Him----that's why I equate living/life with dancing----He's always alongside----maybe if I'll listen close enough I'll hear Him humming our song.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
IN Memory
2/15/09
In Loving Memory of Susan Robins Purifoy 1946-2009
---a life well lived---
Enough said. Her life said it all---
Jesus Christ was her Wisdom, her True Word, her Treasure and her Lord.
In Loving Memory of Susan Robins Purifoy 1946-2009
---a life well lived---
Enough said. Her life said it all---
Jesus Christ was her Wisdom, her True Word, her Treasure and her Lord.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine’s Day
2/14/09 Love is in the air---or it should be---with every breath you take!
Have you shown God’s love to someone today?! Remember there’s a world of hurting people---everyone has a burden or some kind of “baggage,” so let’s be sensitive and extend a “hand” of grace and love to family, friends and beyond. I’m getting a little “preachy” here, aren’t I?? It’s because my experience with my rare cancer, aka Big MAC, has clearly shown me the difference the depth of His love for me and the love from others has made in my life.
Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
How grateful I am to have a Savior who laid down His life for me. Today, may I lay down my self-centeredness---dying to “self “ in every way, that I might love others better.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Encouragement
2/13/09 Encouragement
Years ago, I received a birthday card from dear friend, Ellen----I was born in September on a Friday the 13th, so I consider all Friday the 13ths as days of blessing and am so grateful for all the ones the Lord has given me. The card said, “In this world, there are “dancers” and there are critics. Happy Birthday to one on the “Dancers.” That card was such an encouragement to me, that to this day, I remember it---I eventually found that same card at Hallmark---but only 2 of them--- and thus was able to pass along that same encouragement to two friends whose celebration of life and the Lord, had been, & continues to be, such an inspiration to me ---even though we live miles apart and I see them just every few years---and they don't even know each other.
You see a critical spirit comes far too easily for me, so I want to choose each day to encourage rather than criticize----or hold others to my expectations----I choose today to let go of the list of responsibilities I want to put on others and choose instead to respond in relational love.
Love is about relationship. I choose today to live and dance......
Years ago, I received a birthday card from dear friend, Ellen----I was born in September on a Friday the 13th, so I consider all Friday the 13ths as days of blessing and am so grateful for all the ones the Lord has given me. The card said, “In this world, there are “dancers” and there are critics. Happy Birthday to one on the “Dancers.” That card was such an encouragement to me, that to this day, I remember it---I eventually found that same card at Hallmark---but only 2 of them--- and thus was able to pass along that same encouragement to two friends whose celebration of life and the Lord, had been, & continues to be, such an inspiration to me ---even though we live miles apart and I see them just every few years---and they don't even know each other.
You see a critical spirit comes far too easily for me, so I want to choose each day to encourage rather than criticize----or hold others to my expectations----I choose today to let go of the list of responsibilities I want to put on others and choose instead to respond in relational love.
Love is about relationship. I choose today to live and dance......
......in a time of glorious expectancy in relationships (not a legalistic expectation)---an expectancy of cherishing and encouraging----I want family and friends to know how much I love them and all too often I’m not very good at showing that.
How about you? Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day----show your love to those God has placed in your life---even those who grate on your nerves at time---God can allow His love to flow through you to others.
Habakkuk (one of those books near the back of the Old Testament) shows that when the prophet set himself to listen to what the Lord had to say to him, he heard not about himself but about others----“Write down this revelation and make it plain to others.”
Today, prepare to do something for others on V-Day 2009---something of significance to “herald” your love for them. Maybe put your dancing shoes on, and give them (or him/her) a whirl around the room and make your love plain to them. Celebrate life and each other.
How about you? Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day----show your love to those God has placed in your life---even those who grate on your nerves at time---God can allow His love to flow through you to others.
Habakkuk (one of those books near the back of the Old Testament) shows that when the prophet set himself to listen to what the Lord had to say to him, he heard not about himself but about others----“Write down this revelation and make it plain to others.”
Today, prepare to do something for others on V-Day 2009---something of significance to “herald” your love for them. Maybe put your dancing shoes on, and give them (or him/her) a whirl around the room and make your love plain to them. Celebrate life and each other.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Eyes are Back
2/12/09
My eyes are continually toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. (Psa. 25:15)
Confession: my humanity got all tangled up in my net this morning. I was tripping all over the place in my net of “worries for others.” Why? ….because I had my eyes on the problems of others and set about “fixing them” instead of fixing my eyes on Him. (Heb. 12:2) So-o-o me, and so-o-o wrong---it became a stress/strain rather than an overflow of privilege/love---that’s what happens when I start moving in my own strength. My priorities got “skewed.” I was stewing in my own juices---and that’s not a pretty sight! Bonhoffer wrote, “From the moment we awake until we fall asleep, we must relinquish our loved ones wholly and unreservedly to God and leave them in His hands, transforming our anxiety for them into prayers on their behalf.”
This new “worry storm” kept me awake throughout the night----wide-awake eyes are not fun in the wee hours. I should have given it to the One who “neither slumbers nor sleeps.” (Psa. 121:4) He had already taken care of many of my worries, I just didn’t know it yet.
In His faithfulness He gave me a new morning and allowed my eyes to see, not only the moon high in the sky, when I went out for the paper, but then minutes later, He provided a glorious sunrise. What a vantage point I had---just sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of Bewley’s Irish breakfast tea, in hand, gazing on God’s handiwork.
Confession #2: I wish I could say that the sense of God’s presence was a natural overflow for the rest of the day---like a warm bath of love ---the kind you just want to linger in… but…it was a struggle that I had to deal with for most of the day. I had to keep choosing the right thoughts---sometimes it took me a long time to do that---so many thoughts had to be taken captive, but God……………He was faithful when I was not. He sent a friend to walk with me---what a great de-stressor that can be! I actually made it to a financial advisor with the right papers and she gave me a warm loaf of the best ever almond poppy seed cake, the lock box fiasco was solved, my eye exam was painless, and my car keys were found, not by someone at the hospital parking lot, as I had feared, but in the trunk of my car--- by my husband (who has had to walk that path with me several times before---probably more than he can count) He’s so good at keeping up with me and my things.
Ending the day with friends, I was able to look out into the night sky and see the stars, brilliant with light against that dark backdrop ---even the little dipper. I was able to praise Him for all that He had allowed me to see of creation today. He counts the number of the stars. He gives names to all of them. (Psalm 147:4)
My eyes were able to take in all this that the Lord had created. (Gen. 1:16) And my heart was able to pray what SW once said, “May I never forget in the dark, (darkness of this MAC/ cancer) what I have learned in the light.”
Answered prayer: Thomas’ ”sweet Susan” is resting in the arms of her Lord tonight.
My eyes are continually toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. (Psa. 25:15)
Confession: my humanity got all tangled up in my net this morning. I was tripping all over the place in my net of “worries for others.” Why? ….because I had my eyes on the problems of others and set about “fixing them” instead of fixing my eyes on Him. (Heb. 12:2) So-o-o me, and so-o-o wrong---it became a stress/strain rather than an overflow of privilege/love---that’s what happens when I start moving in my own strength. My priorities got “skewed.” I was stewing in my own juices---and that’s not a pretty sight! Bonhoffer wrote, “From the moment we awake until we fall asleep, we must relinquish our loved ones wholly and unreservedly to God and leave them in His hands, transforming our anxiety for them into prayers on their behalf.”
This new “worry storm” kept me awake throughout the night----wide-awake eyes are not fun in the wee hours. I should have given it to the One who “neither slumbers nor sleeps.” (Psa. 121:4) He had already taken care of many of my worries, I just didn’t know it yet.
In His faithfulness He gave me a new morning and allowed my eyes to see, not only the moon high in the sky, when I went out for the paper, but then minutes later, He provided a glorious sunrise. What a vantage point I had---just sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of Bewley’s Irish breakfast tea, in hand, gazing on God’s handiwork.
Confession #2: I wish I could say that the sense of God’s presence was a natural overflow for the rest of the day---like a warm bath of love ---the kind you just want to linger in… but…it was a struggle that I had to deal with for most of the day. I had to keep choosing the right thoughts---sometimes it took me a long time to do that---so many thoughts had to be taken captive, but God……………He was faithful when I was not. He sent a friend to walk with me---what a great de-stressor that can be! I actually made it to a financial advisor with the right papers and she gave me a warm loaf of the best ever almond poppy seed cake, the lock box fiasco was solved, my eye exam was painless, and my car keys were found, not by someone at the hospital parking lot, as I had feared, but in the trunk of my car--- by my husband (who has had to walk that path with me several times before---probably more than he can count) He’s so good at keeping up with me and my things.
Ending the day with friends, I was able to look out into the night sky and see the stars, brilliant with light against that dark backdrop ---even the little dipper. I was able to praise Him for all that He had allowed me to see of creation today. He counts the number of the stars. He gives names to all of them. (Psalm 147:4)
My eyes were able to take in all this that the Lord had created. (Gen. 1:16) And my heart was able to pray what SW once said, “May I never forget in the dark, (darkness of this MAC/ cancer) what I have learned in the light.”
Answered prayer: Thomas’ ”sweet Susan” is resting in the arms of her Lord tonight.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Dotsy's Dallas Team
2/11/09 D D T (Dotsy’s Dallas Team)---an answer to prayer
FYI--many have asked to pray for my team by name, so here’s the Baylor Medical Team:
Dr. Richard Ha, Craniofacial Surgeon
Dr. Lance Oxford, ENT- (Head/Neck surgery)
Dr. Frank Saporito, mohs surgeon
Dr. Clay Cockerell, dermatopathology
I will leave for “Big D” 3 weeks from today---probably flying down for pre-op procedures. Dr. Ha’s is already scheduled for March 5 and his office suggested that I schedule the others around it. Larry will drive down 2 days later and we will stay in Texas until the surgeries begin. We hope to sneak off for a few days---just the 2 of us. The first surgery is the mohs surgery and it is scheduled for all day, Monday, March 16. Depending on the outcome of this series of excisions of the tumor, (during which I’m awake), the next surgery, which will be the basic foundation laying, by the reconstruction team, will be on Tuesday, March 17. Hospitalization of 4-5 days will follow this surgery. Then, I think---nothing definite in any of this---all will depend on extensiveness of MAC---I will stay in Dallas for a follow-up surgery ---in a week or two---lots of unknowns---other surgeries to follow as needed and I have no idea of the time frame between each.
Prayer requests
For an early time slot to open for surgery on 3/17---scheduled at this time for 12:30---Ha & Oxford need to be wide-eyed and bushytailed
Clear margins--- let’s not second guess MAC here---good eyes for the pathologist
Speaking of eyes, again, I got some great insight from folks—several quoting from praise choruses & hymns---music truly speaks to the heart and helps us remember. Worship leaders and choir members---what a ministry you have.
Another eye-opening thought on eyes came from my MAC sojourner, Michele. What a way this gal has with words!! She used my eyes to address my fear---
My first response when I read your words was, "But if your eyes speak loudly enough, everything else will be muted." …………..I've never seen you, but something tells me that that will be true of you. If the eyes are truly a window to the soul--and I believe they are--the transformations to your face will not alter how people perceive you, because your eyes...I'm sure of it...are animated prisms through which love and faith and pleasure and grace and serenity shine. No amount of surgery can alter that.
I think after this roller coaster day ---I’m not talking ‘bout the rickety old fairgrounds Pippin here---it’s been more of the King’s Island Firehawk variety---I’ll close my eyes with this playing in my head, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”
FYI--many have asked to pray for my team by name, so here’s the Baylor Medical Team:
Dr. Richard Ha, Craniofacial Surgeon
Dr. Lance Oxford, ENT- (Head/Neck surgery)
Dr. Frank Saporito, mohs surgeon
Dr. Clay Cockerell, dermatopathology
I will leave for “Big D” 3 weeks from today---probably flying down for pre-op procedures. Dr. Ha’s is already scheduled for March 5 and his office suggested that I schedule the others around it. Larry will drive down 2 days later and we will stay in Texas until the surgeries begin. We hope to sneak off for a few days---just the 2 of us. The first surgery is the mohs surgery and it is scheduled for all day, Monday, March 16. Depending on the outcome of this series of excisions of the tumor, (during which I’m awake), the next surgery, which will be the basic foundation laying, by the reconstruction team, will be on Tuesday, March 17. Hospitalization of 4-5 days will follow this surgery. Then, I think---nothing definite in any of this---all will depend on extensiveness of MAC---I will stay in Dallas for a follow-up surgery ---in a week or two---lots of unknowns---other surgeries to follow as needed and I have no idea of the time frame between each.
Prayer requests
For an early time slot to open for surgery on 3/17---scheduled at this time for 12:30---Ha & Oxford need to be wide-eyed and bushytailed
Clear margins--- let’s not second guess MAC here---good eyes for the pathologist
Speaking of eyes, again, I got some great insight from folks—several quoting from praise choruses & hymns---music truly speaks to the heart and helps us remember. Worship leaders and choir members---what a ministry you have.
Another eye-opening thought on eyes came from my MAC sojourner, Michele. What a way this gal has with words!! She used my eyes to address my fear---
My first response when I read your words was, "But if your eyes speak loudly enough, everything else will be muted." …………..I've never seen you, but something tells me that that will be true of you. If the eyes are truly a window to the soul--and I believe they are--the transformations to your face will not alter how people perceive you, because your eyes...I'm sure of it...are animated prisms through which love and faith and pleasure and grace and serenity shine. No amount of surgery can alter that.
I think after this roller coaster day ---I’m not talking ‘bout the rickety old fairgrounds Pippin here---it’s been more of the King’s Island Firehawk variety---I’ll close my eyes with this playing in my head, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Assignment: EYES
2/10/09
Journal jottings: shaky awakening---what was the missed cell phone call about ---the one from Dr. Ha at 2:53 yesterday---Why’s he calling? I’m not “ready” to go---too much still undone--- updating will (the last testament kind), repacking for different temps, letter to be written to my kids---okay, so they’re adult kids, I still want to tell them how much I love them---Grandaddy’s in hospital & his pain’s not subsiding, Mommar needs a village, …etc. PTL, Larry has 3 siblings to take up that slack. “Settle,” as Larry would say, so I did. Nothing can fortify like a big dose of God’s Word & a steamy bowl of oatmeal (no instant for me) w/ real butter and real sugar and real milk---not the “see through” variety that is usually in our fridge. My oatmeal this morning might even give the “Batesville blend” a run for its money---though mine wasn’t served to me in bed. The Mary B.s tea biscuits are a good accompaniment as well. (Family aside---as close to Mother/Gigi biscuits that you can buy---must be made with Sunflower, milled only in Hoptown. Mother/ Gigi always used Sunflower, probably because Mr. Yost went to First Methodist with us. Most of the time she baked biscuits and cornbread with buttermilk. If not, her recipes listed ”sweet milk” ---& she didn’t mean Eagle Brand.)
Jesus Calling reminded me I needed to spend ”ample” time with the Lord and let go or push back some of the demands of the day knowing that He is able to bend time and events in my favor---under His guidance I will be able to sort out what is important and what is not. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you with My eye upon you. (Psa. 32:8)
Is “eye” the word of the day? I don’t have eyes that can read without glasses---and for awhile I won’t even have a nose to prop those spectacles on. I am a reader---so I’m probably going to have to be read to for awhile---this could be a new adventure. I’m the reader/storyteller---I’m the one whose license plate said, “IREAD2U”---sounds like a lesson in humility is coming up.
A “worry” (working on giving it to the Lord) that has come forth since Michele asked me some thought provoking questions, concerns eyes. She asked what my greatest “fear” was about my surgery. At first, nothing came to mind. Now the fear is identified----the eyes of others on my new face---not for me as much as others---a face that would evoke sympathy or embarrassment for my family and friends------ especially for my grandsons.
I don’t want them to be self-conscious about their Shug.
So readers---you have an assignment ---what does God have to say about eyes (or my fear) that will realign my thinking with His? Open my/our eyes that I/we might behold wonderful things from Thy law. (Psa. 119:18)
It’s all about eyes---my eyes, (physical eyes) other’s eyes (judging eyes) God’s eyes ---the eyes of our heart---those spiritual eyes.
For me, I know that I can “lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1)
Journal jottings: shaky awakening---what was the missed cell phone call about ---the one from Dr. Ha at 2:53 yesterday---Why’s he calling? I’m not “ready” to go---too much still undone--- updating will (the last testament kind), repacking for different temps, letter to be written to my kids---okay, so they’re adult kids, I still want to tell them how much I love them---Grandaddy’s in hospital & his pain’s not subsiding, Mommar needs a village, …etc. PTL, Larry has 3 siblings to take up that slack. “Settle,” as Larry would say, so I did. Nothing can fortify like a big dose of God’s Word & a steamy bowl of oatmeal (no instant for me) w/ real butter and real sugar and real milk---not the “see through” variety that is usually in our fridge. My oatmeal this morning might even give the “Batesville blend” a run for its money---though mine wasn’t served to me in bed. The Mary B.s tea biscuits are a good accompaniment as well. (Family aside---as close to Mother/Gigi biscuits that you can buy---must be made with Sunflower, milled only in Hoptown. Mother/ Gigi always used Sunflower, probably because Mr. Yost went to First Methodist with us. Most of the time she baked biscuits and cornbread with buttermilk. If not, her recipes listed ”sweet milk” ---& she didn’t mean Eagle Brand.)
Jesus Calling reminded me I needed to spend ”ample” time with the Lord and let go or push back some of the demands of the day knowing that He is able to bend time and events in my favor---under His guidance I will be able to sort out what is important and what is not. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you with My eye upon you. (Psa. 32:8)
Is “eye” the word of the day? I don’t have eyes that can read without glasses---and for awhile I won’t even have a nose to prop those spectacles on. I am a reader---so I’m probably going to have to be read to for awhile---this could be a new adventure. I’m the reader/storyteller---I’m the one whose license plate said, “IREAD2U”---sounds like a lesson in humility is coming up.
A “worry” (working on giving it to the Lord) that has come forth since Michele asked me some thought provoking questions, concerns eyes. She asked what my greatest “fear” was about my surgery. At first, nothing came to mind. Now the fear is identified----the eyes of others on my new face---not for me as much as others---a face that would evoke sympathy or embarrassment for my family and friends------ especially for my grandsons.
I don’t want them to be self-conscious about their Shug.
So readers---you have an assignment ---what does God have to say about eyes (or my fear) that will realign my thinking with His? Open my/our eyes that I/we might behold wonderful things from Thy law. (Psa. 119:18)
It’s all about eyes---my eyes, (physical eyes) other’s eyes (judging eyes) God’s eyes ---the eyes of our heart---those spiritual eyes.
For me, I know that I can “lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1)
Monday, February 9, 2009
Waiting Delineated
2/9/09 Waiting Delineated
It was 1 month ago today that I first heard the words “biopsy needed.” Thus began this new season/step in my life/dance . From that time on, events became “before MAC or since MAC.” Often there have been periods of one step forward and two steps back---I’m sure there’s a dance move in there somewhere. This dance began with one big “grand jete”---just picture Baryshnikov leaping across the stage---or better yet, picture a ballerina who leaps and is caught by the one waiting patiently and expectantly for her to move toward him. It has been a leap of faith, but I knew who was waiting to catch me---if that makes sense at all. Then there have been the elimination dances (from docs along the way) and reels where things have been so whirling that I wasn’t sure where I was suppose to go next---except that I had a patient dance partner who knew the right steps and was willing to teach me and guide me. Today he began to teach me about waiting---it is “with the heart that we must wait on God.” (A. Murray) Waiting on God is being in His Presence---and I’ve felt so close to Him that it’s as if we’re moving as one---we really are in this dance together.
There’s waiting and then there’s waiting---are you confused yet? I wish I could insert columns here for comparison but don’t think the blog format would like that.
My day started w/ my frailty of “what if” questions taking up way too much space in my mind---I can’t control anything that is going on in Dallas right now--- if indeed, anything is going on that I even need to know about. It ended with today’s Jesus Calling verse on my heart. … I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song…(Isa. 12:2)
Journal jottings:
Waiting on DOC ---it’s mental, knowing with the mind---I have no control
1. Seeking doc’s schedule/answer but...... I have no control
2. Restlessness/anxiety/draining
3. In frenzy---making list, checking it twice
4. Responsibility---it’s about “doing”
5. Fretting---which overshadows God
6. Eating nervously
7. Expectation w/dread
8. Holding tight to anything I can-----for some semblance of control
Waiting on GOD---it’s a heart issue---believing w/ the heart
1. Seeking his Presence
2. Renewal/rest (Psa. 37:7-- Rest in the Lord, wait patiently on Him.)
3. In faith
4. Relational response---it’s about “being”
5. “Fret not_____”verses in Psa. 37----I put my name in the blank.
6. Not eating---intentionally
7. Expectancy w/delight
8. Letting go of all-----but God’s hand
Truly, my soul waiteth upon God. On thee do I wait all the day long. (Psa. 62:1)
It was 1 month ago today that I first heard the words “biopsy needed.” Thus began this new season/step in my life/dance . From that time on, events became “before MAC or since MAC.” Often there have been periods of one step forward and two steps back---I’m sure there’s a dance move in there somewhere. This dance began with one big “grand jete”---just picture Baryshnikov leaping across the stage---or better yet, picture a ballerina who leaps and is caught by the one waiting patiently and expectantly for her to move toward him. It has been a leap of faith, but I knew who was waiting to catch me---if that makes sense at all. Then there have been the elimination dances (from docs along the way) and reels where things have been so whirling that I wasn’t sure where I was suppose to go next---except that I had a patient dance partner who knew the right steps and was willing to teach me and guide me. Today he began to teach me about waiting---it is “with the heart that we must wait on God.” (A. Murray) Waiting on God is being in His Presence---and I’ve felt so close to Him that it’s as if we’re moving as one---we really are in this dance together.
There’s waiting and then there’s waiting---are you confused yet? I wish I could insert columns here for comparison but don’t think the blog format would like that.
My day started w/ my frailty of “what if” questions taking up way too much space in my mind---I can’t control anything that is going on in Dallas right now--- if indeed, anything is going on that I even need to know about. It ended with today’s Jesus Calling verse on my heart. … I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song…(Isa. 12:2)
Journal jottings:
Waiting on DOC ---it’s mental, knowing with the mind---I have no control
1. Seeking doc’s schedule/answer but...... I have no control
2. Restlessness/anxiety/draining
3. In frenzy---making list, checking it twice
4. Responsibility---it’s about “doing”
5. Fretting---which overshadows God
6. Eating nervously
7. Expectation w/dread
8. Holding tight to anything I can-----for some semblance of control
Waiting on GOD---it’s a heart issue---believing w/ the heart
1. Seeking his Presence
2. Renewal/rest (Psa. 37:7-- Rest in the Lord, wait patiently on Him.)
3. In faith
4. Relational response---it’s about “being”
5. “Fret not_____”verses in Psa. 37----I put my name in the blank.
6. Not eating---intentionally
7. Expectancy w/delight
8. Letting go of all-----but God’s hand
Truly, my soul waiteth upon God. On thee do I wait all the day long. (Psa. 62:1)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday With Thee
2/8/09 Sunday w/ Thee
Can you have time with the Lord on the Lord’s day without going to church? Absolutely! Do I miss going to church and being with God’s people? Absolutely!! There is nothing quite like the fellowship of believers. Dr. T used to say that if you’re trying to stay away from germs, “Don’t go to church or the movies.” Maybe that’s b/c there are lots of huggin’ folks at church. I don’t mind missing the germs but I sure miss those hugs.
This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psa. 118:24) How easy it is to rejoice when the sun is shining and the temps are just right as you & your hubby accompany a grandson on a “walk-walk” in his little red car.
How much harder it is to rejoice at the end of the day when waiting in the kitchen of a beloved neighbor of almost 32 years---waiting for an ambulance to come and take her to the hospital one more time---and yet the loving husband and daughter who were there for her allowed me a glimpse of that unconditional love of family that becomes a healing balm for the one in the center of the crisis/suffering. I rejoice that she has such a family.
Can you have time with the Lord on the Lord’s day without going to church? Absolutely! Do I miss going to church and being with God’s people? Absolutely!! There is nothing quite like the fellowship of believers. Dr. T used to say that if you’re trying to stay away from germs, “Don’t go to church or the movies.” Maybe that’s b/c there are lots of huggin’ folks at church. I don’t mind missing the germs but I sure miss those hugs.
This is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psa. 118:24) How easy it is to rejoice when the sun is shining and the temps are just right as you & your hubby accompany a grandson on a “walk-walk” in his little red car.
How much harder it is to rejoice at the end of the day when waiting in the kitchen of a beloved neighbor of almost 32 years---waiting for an ambulance to come and take her to the hospital one more time---and yet the loving husband and daughter who were there for her allowed me a glimpse of that unconditional love of family that becomes a healing balm for the one in the center of the crisis/suffering. I rejoice that she has such a family.
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