The Eyes are Back

2/12/09
My eyes are continually toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. (Psa. 25:15)

Confession: my humanity got all tangled up in my net this morning. I was tripping all over the place in my net of “worries for others.” Why? ….because I had my eyes on the problems of others and set about “fixing them” instead of fixing my eyes on Him. (Heb. 12:2) So-o-o me, and so-o-o wrong---it became a stress/strain rather than an overflow of privilege/love---that’s what happens when I start moving in my own strength. My priorities got “skewed.” I was stewing in my own juices---and that’s not a pretty sight! Bonhoffer wrote, “From the moment we awake until we fall asleep, we must relinquish our loved ones wholly and unreservedly to God and leave them in His hands, transforming our anxiety for them into prayers on their behalf.”

This new “worry storm” kept me awake throughout the night----wide-awake eyes are not fun in the wee hours. I should have given it to the One who “neither slumbers nor sleeps.” (Psa. 121:4) He had already taken care of many of my worries, I just didn’t know it yet.
In His faithfulness He gave me a new morning and allowed my eyes to see, not only the moon high in the sky, when I went out for the paper, but then minutes later, He provided a glorious sunrise. What a vantage point I had---just sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of Bewley’s Irish breakfast tea, in hand, gazing on God’s handiwork.

Confession #2: I wish I could say that the sense of God’s presence was a natural overflow for the rest of the day---like a warm bath of love ---the kind you just want to linger in… but…it was a struggle that I had to deal with for most of the day. I had to keep choosing the right thoughts---sometimes it took me a long time to do that---so many thoughts had to be taken captive, but God……………He was faithful when I was not. He sent a friend to walk with me---what a great de-stressor that can be! I actually made it to a financial advisor with the right papers and she gave me a warm loaf of the best ever almond poppy seed cake, the lock box fiasco was solved, my eye exam was painless, and my car keys were found, not by someone at the hospital parking lot, as I had feared, but in the trunk of my car--- by my husband (who has had to walk that path with me several times before---probably more than he can count) He’s so good at keeping up with me and my things.

Ending the day with friends, I was able to look out into the night sky and see the stars, brilliant with light against that dark backdrop ---even the little dipper. I was able to praise Him for all that He had allowed me to see of creation today. He counts the number of the stars. He gives names to all of them. (Psalm 147:4)
My eyes were able to take in all this that the Lord had created. (Gen. 1:16) And my heart was able to pray what SW once said, “May I never forget in the dark, (darkness of this MAC/ cancer) what I have learned in the light.”

Answered prayer: Thomas’ ”sweet Susan” is resting in the arms of her Lord tonight.