2/5/09-2/7/09 Postings from Dallas #1
2/5/05
9:15 Hooray Shelby County Schools---they provide a case manager, if I choose---& I CHOOSE—to be my advocate with insurance---talked to Julie, my mgr. as son, Buddy, navigated Dallas traffic---(a story in itself) by the time I got to several doctors insurance approval had either been met or was pending---Dr. Finn’s office has gone above and beyond as well. Thanks Cary & Teresa!
Thursday-10 AM meet w/ MF---the most gracious lady ever—who has offered “shelter” (SHELTER should be in all CAPS b/c it’s ministry that she’s offering) for Larry and me as needed during our Dallas stay---if indeed, Dallas becomes “my” place. She’s a Romans 12:13 woman. “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
She even adds to her “to do list,” after the fact, so that she can cross it off---- that’s someone I can relate to for sure. Her quiet neighborhood, near SMU, will be great for a “masked woman” to walk while recovering between surgeries and there’s even an adorable plaza near the end of her street that has quaint shops & eateries and a Logos bookstore, oh yea! While there, buying A. Murray’s Waiting on God,---on sale---another oh yea!-- “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” began playing. Okay, I “puddled”...but it is my favorite hymn and the one played when I was seated as “mother of the bride.”
Seeing God’s hand for 2/5 ---it’s the story KS from Park Cities Presbyterian told me as I strolled the plaza soaking up, as I’ve said before, both the sun and The Son.
1:30 appt. w/ Dr. Richard Ha Arrived on my time at 1:00 over the protestations (though gentle) from my son & husband. Smart decision b/c I had to fill out paper work that they “thought” they had e-mailed me. Dr. Jay Burns was also there and came in to encourage and offer support. As we were leaving the “institute,” I had Larry take a picture of the plaque—4 of the of names on that list----tops in the field of reconstruction---had already been consulted by Dr. B. and Dr. Carter on my behalf. Here’s where the day began to take on new dimensions that took some absorbing. The doc has to give the best and the most radical scenarios for treatment---apart from a miracle, Larry and I both knew we were past the “easiest” treatment but hearing new words and possibilities in the radical realm gave pause, (increased heart rate & wave of nausea)---to say the least. Larry, in his way, can make me smile even in the worst of times---He asked if I should have a tattoo put on my shoulder to make sure he takes home the right gal.
Evening with little Texans seems a blur---I was so emotionally drained that I had to pull apart for a while------hearing those grandboys pray for me at bedtime was the best way to end the day ---that, and Larry reading scripture to me, allowed me to find peace and once more grasp the Lord’s hand as I began to refocus & trust Him and fall asleep.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Mom in Dallas
Mom sends greetings from Dallas! It's been a long but productive couple of days. She will have lots to share later. She has met w/ three members of the team that is being assembled to work on her.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
2/4/09 Bedside Table Top
Okay folks---anyone who has ever been to Sunday School knows the story of the “loaves and fishes” ---there are 5 loaves----so why didn’t someone inform me of this typo on the blog---I guess you call it a typo, though 5 isn’t even close to 9---I had to stumble on it myself---remember, I rarely proof these things and often don’t read until after the fact---in this case, way after the fact.
Okay #2---about my bedside table top----it has an array of “stuff” including Afrin, a bottle of Ambien, out of which I have only taken 4 over the last 17 days, a picture, 2 actually, of my T-Cup friends, who really know me and still love me, 4 freshly sharpened pencils (a recent gift), a 4x6 violet post-it note pad on which I write verses----violet for verses makes sense to me----(I write citations of verses received during the day via e-mail or slug mail or readings and then Larry reads them to me at night before lights out) a 4x6 blue post-it note pad (blue/bedroom---I wonder if this color coding idiosyncrasy goes back to all those 20+years of teaching kindergarten) a blue Impact gel pen and a blue “flag post-it” highlighter, which I really love, plus an Erasermate pen for my nightly Commercial Appeal crossword puzzle along with 3 pairs of glasses, which is amazing since I can rarely find any---I bet you think my bedside table w/2 bookshelves underneath is 10’long. Whew---I think I just entered the English handbook of world records for the best example of a run-on sentence---those sentences which should be avoided!
“Camping out again today in God’s Word before leaving for Dallas after Larry’s classes--should arrive around 9 or 10 tonight. The location this time is II Corinthians 4. Verse one starts with, “Therefore, since we have this ministry, we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.” I like the way that the Lord can speak to my heart through scripture written long ago. Today, I’m so grateful that His mercy has not allowed me to lose heart and that His Word is Truth and balm for my soul.
Closing out with Amy Carmichaels’ notes in Edges of His Ways…………”Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow stronger. Let it be so with us.” "Let it be so with me, Lord whether in Dallas or Memphis. “
Larry just asked about “my dance” wondering if I’d be eliminated again (remember those Teen Town dance contests where a tap on the shoulder meant you were out---I actually stayed in a long time if I were dancing w/ my older brother) by a doctor or if this would be the beginning of the dance marathon. I don’t know the answer, but the “Lord of the Dance” does and he continues to hold my hand and pull me back in step even when I try to keep twirling around on my own.
Have already received a warm Dallas welcome from the folks of Park Cities Presbyterian church---(including prayers from the pastoral staff). I look forward to meeting y’all!
This “Shug” can’t wait to see her 4 little Texans (& their parents)
Okay folks---anyone who has ever been to Sunday School knows the story of the “loaves and fishes” ---there are 5 loaves----so why didn’t someone inform me of this typo on the blog---I guess you call it a typo, though 5 isn’t even close to 9---I had to stumble on it myself---remember, I rarely proof these things and often don’t read until after the fact---in this case, way after the fact.
Okay #2---about my bedside table top----it has an array of “stuff” including Afrin, a bottle of Ambien, out of which I have only taken 4 over the last 17 days, a picture, 2 actually, of my T-Cup friends, who really know me and still love me, 4 freshly sharpened pencils (a recent gift), a 4x6 violet post-it note pad on which I write verses----violet for verses makes sense to me----(I write citations of verses received during the day via e-mail or slug mail or readings and then Larry reads them to me at night before lights out) a 4x6 blue post-it note pad (blue/bedroom---I wonder if this color coding idiosyncrasy goes back to all those 20+years of teaching kindergarten) a blue Impact gel pen and a blue “flag post-it” highlighter, which I really love, plus an Erasermate pen for my nightly Commercial Appeal crossword puzzle along with 3 pairs of glasses, which is amazing since I can rarely find any---I bet you think my bedside table w/2 bookshelves underneath is 10’long. Whew---I think I just entered the English handbook of world records for the best example of a run-on sentence---those sentences which should be avoided!
“Camping out again today in God’s Word before leaving for Dallas after Larry’s classes--should arrive around 9 or 10 tonight. The location this time is II Corinthians 4. Verse one starts with, “Therefore, since we have this ministry, we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.” I like the way that the Lord can speak to my heart through scripture written long ago. Today, I’m so grateful that His mercy has not allowed me to lose heart and that His Word is Truth and balm for my soul.
Closing out with Amy Carmichaels’ notes in Edges of His Ways…………”Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow stronger. Let it be so with us.” "Let it be so with me, Lord whether in Dallas or Memphis. “
Larry just asked about “my dance” wondering if I’d be eliminated again (remember those Teen Town dance contests where a tap on the shoulder meant you were out---I actually stayed in a long time if I were dancing w/ my older brother) by a doctor or if this would be the beginning of the dance marathon. I don’t know the answer, but the “Lord of the Dance” does and he continues to hold my hand and pull me back in step even when I try to keep twirling around on my own.
Have already received a warm Dallas welcome from the folks of Park Cities Presbyterian church---(including prayers from the pastoral staff). I look forward to meeting y’all!
This “Shug” can’t wait to see her 4 little Texans (& their parents)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Literary Leanings
2/3/09
For all my “kiddie lit” friends---as the Pokey Little Puppy went roly-poly-pel-mel down the hill, so might my words come out tonight. BTW, all who know me, know that there is no such thing as good literature written just for children---if it’s well written, all readers can enjoy it.
Several of you have asked what I’m reading lately---actually I don’t have enough time or space to list all tonight. Suffice it to say, I have always been one who could read several books at once---though I’m not talking Dostoevsky here. If it’s non-fiction, I’m a pro at directing my reading for specific info. I have been known to read the last chapter first, or at least scan it. That’s why those books have a good index or a helpful table of contents. Helps me get to the “meat” of what I’m looking for.
Someone else asked me, “what’s on your bedside table?” Now, that’s getting a little personal and maybe even insulting if you’ve been measuring the dust, but……if you’re talking books, I’m just finishing up Philip Yancey’s, Soul Survivor, and am beginning to devour a work of fiction,
Shards of Shell by Michele Phoenix. It‘s poignant, it’s funny, there’s a love interest and a 4 yr. old speaking with a “southern accent,” who will capture your heart.
If you want to order one---don’t go to a bookstore or on-line---just make a check for $18 (that includes the postage) to Michele Phoenix and mail it with your request to :
Dream Acres - 4755 Oliver Road - Timmonsville, SC 29161-7722
As for devotional books, you’ll just have to keep reading the blog b/c I will usually share the one that has spoken to me that day. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m in first person singular here---this has been my choice—books help me---these thoughts are all mine, etc. I take full responsibility b/c this is just my story and it’s the only one I know---the only one I can tell—I’m just allowing you to peek into some of my journal entries to see who I am. I can only do that because I know Whose I am.
My underlinings from Streams in the Desert today: God shines His light on you to make you fit for life’s deserts………….He lifts you to new heights to strengthen you so that you may go deeper still……..He illuminates you so He may send you into the night, making you a help to the helpless……….The time of testing that distinguishes and greatly enriches a person’s spiritual career is not an ordinary one but a period when it seems as if all hell were set loose……And the testing “later on…produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. (Hebrews 12:11)
For all my “kiddie lit” friends---as the Pokey Little Puppy went roly-poly-pel-mel down the hill, so might my words come out tonight. BTW, all who know me, know that there is no such thing as good literature written just for children---if it’s well written, all readers can enjoy it.
Several of you have asked what I’m reading lately---actually I don’t have enough time or space to list all tonight. Suffice it to say, I have always been one who could read several books at once---though I’m not talking Dostoevsky here. If it’s non-fiction, I’m a pro at directing my reading for specific info. I have been known to read the last chapter first, or at least scan it. That’s why those books have a good index or a helpful table of contents. Helps me get to the “meat” of what I’m looking for.
Someone else asked me, “what’s on your bedside table?” Now, that’s getting a little personal and maybe even insulting if you’ve been measuring the dust, but……if you’re talking books, I’m just finishing up Philip Yancey’s, Soul Survivor, and am beginning to devour a work of fiction,
Shards of Shell by Michele Phoenix. It‘s poignant, it’s funny, there’s a love interest and a 4 yr. old speaking with a “southern accent,” who will capture your heart.
If you want to order one---don’t go to a bookstore or on-line---just make a check for $18 (that includes the postage) to Michele Phoenix and mail it with your request to :
Dream Acres - 4755 Oliver Road - Timmonsville, SC 29161-7722
As for devotional books, you’ll just have to keep reading the blog b/c I will usually share the one that has spoken to me that day. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m in first person singular here---this has been my choice—books help me---these thoughts are all mine, etc. I take full responsibility b/c this is just my story and it’s the only one I know---the only one I can tell—I’m just allowing you to peek into some of my journal entries to see who I am. I can only do that because I know Whose I am.
My underlinings from Streams in the Desert today: God shines His light on you to make you fit for life’s deserts………….He lifts you to new heights to strengthen you so that you may go deeper still……..He illuminates you so He may send you into the night, making you a help to the helpless……….The time of testing that distinguishes and greatly enriches a person’s spiritual career is not an ordinary one but a period when it seems as if all hell were set loose……And the testing “later on…produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. (Hebrews 12:11)
Monday, February 2, 2009
God's Strength
2/2/09
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
This is a good verse for meditation on a morning when you don’t even want to get out of bed. I prefer the mornings when I’m able to say, “Good morning, Lord. I think I’ll have a piece of homemade chocolate meringue pie for breakfast.”
I was able to sit with Mommar, Larry’s mom, and watch birds and squirrels out the window even though thoughts of lawyers, docs, reports to fax, calls to make etc. etc. etc. were whirring around in my head. Those who are “on the same page” with me in the Jesus Calling book know the focus of today’s entry was free flowing thoughts seem to move toward problems------if focus is snagged on your problem, it circles round and round (boy, did it ever)----Your energy is drained!! It was already drained from three days of the “tyranny of the urgent”—you know those things that demand your attention & so you tend to them.
As an aside, if you are on the same page in the Jesus Calling book would you let me know---I’ve heard from several folks thru comments or LHH message/well wishes page or cards & calls. Just e-mail me at dotsyliles@gmail.com. Just wondering how far this little book is reaching.
This Monday was in my mind to become the day to share a little about MAC with folks b/c some have asked---maybe I wasn’t ready for that. I do know that sometimes people look at me as if I’m “in denial”---I’m really in a grace bubble. Trust me, I know a lot about MAC & enough of the journey ahead to warrant my attention and an understanding of things that I choose not to share b/c you readers are not covered with that extra measure of mercy and grace that is mine for the taking/accepting in the midst of this crisis.
Today became “Journal Jottings: a Juxtaposition of my Frailty and God’s Strength.” I needed His power and strength today in extra measure!!
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
This is a good verse for meditation on a morning when you don’t even want to get out of bed. I prefer the mornings when I’m able to say, “Good morning, Lord. I think I’ll have a piece of homemade chocolate meringue pie for breakfast.”
I was able to sit with Mommar, Larry’s mom, and watch birds and squirrels out the window even though thoughts of lawyers, docs, reports to fax, calls to make etc. etc. etc. were whirring around in my head. Those who are “on the same page” with me in the Jesus Calling book know the focus of today’s entry was free flowing thoughts seem to move toward problems------if focus is snagged on your problem, it circles round and round (boy, did it ever)----Your energy is drained!! It was already drained from three days of the “tyranny of the urgent”—you know those things that demand your attention & so you tend to them.
As an aside, if you are on the same page in the Jesus Calling book would you let me know---I’ve heard from several folks thru comments or LHH message/well wishes page or cards & calls. Just e-mail me at dotsyliles@gmail.com. Just wondering how far this little book is reaching.
This Monday was in my mind to become the day to share a little about MAC with folks b/c some have asked---maybe I wasn’t ready for that. I do know that sometimes people look at me as if I’m “in denial”---I’m really in a grace bubble. Trust me, I know a lot about MAC & enough of the journey ahead to warrant my attention and an understanding of things that I choose not to share b/c you readers are not covered with that extra measure of mercy and grace that is mine for the taking/accepting in the midst of this crisis.
Today became “Journal Jottings: a Juxtaposition of my Frailty and God’s Strength.” I needed His power and strength today in extra measure!!
Thanks to anyone who prayed early---maybe it was your prayer that helped get me out of the bed and in a mode to ask Him myself---to strengthen me by the power of His might….for patience and endurance during this time.”
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Journal Jottings
2/1/09
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.
Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.
I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.
For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.
Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)
Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.
Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.
Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."
These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.
This is my first day ever in the month of February knowing that MAC is here with me. Glad I “camped out” in His Word yesterday.
Hooray---Molly had a great support group as well as sales at her art show at St. George’s last night. Larry even went there when he left ICU---after being with his dad. As you can imagine, we had no time to post “blog” last night.
I’m so time compulsive I almost couldn’t let my Saturday’s blog be posted on Sunday. Now, even my watch battery has gone out---God has His ways doesn’t He? Guess whose timetable I’m on now? Maybe I’ll use the “no watch” excuse for being in my jammies ‘til after noon today. Not to worry, I know it’s Sunday---I can listen to my son preaching on-line---I can just do it lying on the window seat in the computer room---doesn’t matter what I’m wearing. Hey, soon a hospital gown will be about as dressed up as I get. You know how flattering they are---and exposing---YUK, now that’s not a pretty thought.
For those who know me, or those who have heard me “confess” during my teaching times, y’all know that I’m a little____(looking up synonyms for the word I want to express in a more delicate way)----ah-hah, “obsessively self-controlled” comes up---aka obsessive compulsive. This is no surprise to most folks. They know I use white-out in my journal---for years I assumed everyone did. I was thrilled when Ashley Bryan taught me to make flowers from my mistakes, instead of erasing them. I would only write in my red journal with my red pen---any other color stymied the ability for the pen to move. Now here I am on this new, never before trodden path in my life, putting words out in cyberspace for “strangers” to read. Most times my words are posted without spell check---certainly a grammar check would “crash” any computer as it tried to decipher my run on sentences punctuated only by dashes. I still prefer writing pens that flow and glorious smooth writing paper but I’ve become willing to share my flaws with whomever, though it’s not always comfortable.
Pasted from last Spring’s lesson I taught from Hebrews 11:6: (Print was large so I could read them from the podium—though I rarely read my notes once I get going-----)
Ask the ladies, “WHO’S THE ONE CALLING YOU TO “STEP” OUT/”SWIM OUT?” The One who calls is the One who equips w/ extra courage & faith –we just have to be willing. Are you willing to get off the steps??? (from story of swimming lesson w/ grandson who didn’t want to get off the steps and swim out, even though he would be swimming to the arms of a loving & waiting father. Those steps in the shallow water felt safer.
Today I had to ask myself that same question----Am I willing? My private steps (my journal jottings) are safe (not exposing self to world feels safe.) This is just my story but since God seems to be having me share my fumbling, stumbling faith walk, I will.
Another reminder from my lesson notes reminded me---"When we step out or step off the steps, it’s not blind faith----it’s actually seeing---it’s just seeing with eyes of faith."
These eyes are ready to close for some sleep. Thank you Lord that You are Faithful and True.
Camping Out
1/31/09
It’s not alliterative but it’s where the Lord had me today. This Liles crew has had many Saturdays spent "camping out” in the woods---all memorable but not all pleasant---in fact, the most memorable were those bordering on disaster. Our camping fiascos might discourage others from “risking the endeavor” but those crisis/catastrophes have become our shared jokes (which most people wouldn’t get---esp. our Deep Creek ones) Times of humorous reflections are good---definitely warming the soul. Today the Lord had me camping out in Isaiah 40.
Asked for No phone calls on LHH site today b/c 6:15 am. call sent Larry’s dad back into surgery to fix a leak in his by-pass and I needed unencumbered access to MaBell or whoever we have now since I dropped the old phone in the “tub” and Larry changed phones & our provider. Some days I just want an old princess phone with the curly cord---much easier to find. We now have 3 phones and I can never seem to find any of them. Even the battery on Larry’s cell has a way of going out when I pick it up.
After popping in to check on next-door neighbor & share some of my “bountiful blessing of potato salad,” I had time for an early morning walk---prescribed by WH as a great pre-surgery prep. It became more than that. It became a praise walk! It brought me back to Isaiah 40:26, “Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens, Who created all these……” The prophet is talking about the stars---and His one big star, the sun, was warming my back as I walked. His son was warming my heart—it felt great.
I also began to reflect on the “moonlight walks” of 1984. Larry and I would take Buddy, Josh and Molly on a walking adventure (mostly in their pjs). This would occur on the night the Almanac declared the “fullest moon” for each month, There were 13 full moons that year! I even documented (your not surprised, are you) where we were and what we did—had a snowball fight in March, walked in alley by Winslow’s house to our childhood tree house in KY, saw our moon from a ship’s deck as it reflected on the water of the Caribbean……..
Wrote a thank you note to Michele in Germany today b/c I received her beautiful book, Postcards from the Water’s Edge—about her cancer journey. As I went to put it in the envelope to seal it with love & a grateful heart and lots of stamps, I saw the verse on the stationery I had chosen---how had I forgotten---it was Isaiah 40:11---“He tends His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart…..” I am in His arms and though the tears are falling as I write, I can feel His heart!
It’s not alliterative but it’s where the Lord had me today. This Liles crew has had many Saturdays spent "camping out” in the woods---all memorable but not all pleasant---in fact, the most memorable were those bordering on disaster. Our camping fiascos might discourage others from “risking the endeavor” but those crisis/catastrophes have become our shared jokes (which most people wouldn’t get---esp. our Deep Creek ones) Times of humorous reflections are good---definitely warming the soul. Today the Lord had me camping out in Isaiah 40.
Asked for No phone calls on LHH site today b/c 6:15 am. call sent Larry’s dad back into surgery to fix a leak in his by-pass and I needed unencumbered access to MaBell or whoever we have now since I dropped the old phone in the “tub” and Larry changed phones & our provider. Some days I just want an old princess phone with the curly cord---much easier to find. We now have 3 phones and I can never seem to find any of them. Even the battery on Larry’s cell has a way of going out when I pick it up.
After popping in to check on next-door neighbor & share some of my “bountiful blessing of potato salad,” I had time for an early morning walk---prescribed by WH as a great pre-surgery prep. It became more than that. It became a praise walk! It brought me back to Isaiah 40:26, “Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens, Who created all these……” The prophet is talking about the stars---and His one big star, the sun, was warming my back as I walked. His son was warming my heart—it felt great.
I also began to reflect on the “moonlight walks” of 1984. Larry and I would take Buddy, Josh and Molly on a walking adventure (mostly in their pjs). This would occur on the night the Almanac declared the “fullest moon” for each month, There were 13 full moons that year! I even documented (your not surprised, are you) where we were and what we did—had a snowball fight in March, walked in alley by Winslow’s house to our childhood tree house in KY, saw our moon from a ship’s deck as it reflected on the water of the Caribbean……..
Wrote a thank you note to Michele in Germany today b/c I received her beautiful book, Postcards from the Water’s Edge—about her cancer journey. As I went to put it in the envelope to seal it with love & a grateful heart and lots of stamps, I saw the verse on the stationery I had chosen---how had I forgotten---it was Isaiah 40:11---“He tends His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart…..” I am in His arms and though the tears are falling as I write, I can feel His heart!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Forgiving Fridays
1/30/09
This week the ole pragmatic mom in me, seeking to advise my daughter, was appropriately rebuffed by her. "Mom," she said. "Get out of my Kool-aid!" To all of you reading this today------If I have gotten "up" in your Kool-aid, please forgive me. I'm sure that I rationalized that being "up in your Kool-aid" was for your well-being. My, how easy it is to label CONTROL as good intentions......as easy as pushing the control button on my iMac computer.
-----today told of ST. Paul letting his letters break into song---WOW, just where I was yesterday. It concluded w/ the importance of praying against barriers, "which are nearly always made of self-love in one way or another." Journal excerpt: "Forgive me Father. Take me back to square one---review with me the basic steps of "our dance" ---enable me to continue to say, "move over self----it's not about me ---it's all about Thee!"
This week the ole pragmatic mom in me, seeking to advise my daughter, was appropriately rebuffed by her. "Mom," she said. "Get out of my Kool-aid!" To all of you reading this today------If I have gotten "up" in your Kool-aid, please forgive me. I'm sure that I rationalized that being "up in your Kool-aid" was for your well-being. My, how easy it is to label CONTROL as good intentions......as easy as pushing the control button on my iMac computer.
Trust me on this one folks, only God is in control! And that's a good thing.
That's what "Forgiving Fridays" are all about ---making amends with God (asking forgiveness of sin) and making amends w/ others. In a "12 step" program my Forgiving Fridays are similar to their Step #5 which admits to God, self and others (when appropriate) the exact nature of the wrong. It goes hand in hand w/ their Step #4, where they take a moral inventory. The two steps are done together to be effective. I think that's right---
Do you ever get caught up in yourself? My confession---when Dr. B. (Memphis doc)
called the other day and said Dr. H. (Dallas doc) was awaiting my phone call , I envisioned
him standing by the phone. NOT!! I'm still waiting—- but there's a great lesson there for me.
Have you ever felt singled out in a positive way? Lately, every time I read one of my 5 different devotional books I think they are written just for me---but they are written for each of us who allows the Presence of God to use them in his/her life. New devotional book (from GI), Amy Carmichael's, Edges of His Ways----
That's what "Forgiving Fridays" are all about ---making amends with God (asking forgiveness of sin) and making amends w/ others. In a "12 step" program my Forgiving Fridays are similar to their Step #5 which admits to God, self and others (when appropriate) the exact nature of the wrong. It goes hand in hand w/ their Step #4, where they take a moral inventory. The two steps are done together to be effective. I think that's right---
Do you ever get caught up in yourself? My confession---when Dr. B. (Memphis doc)
called the other day and said Dr. H. (Dallas doc) was awaiting my phone call , I envisioned
him standing by the phone. NOT!! I'm still waiting—- but there's a great lesson there for me.
Have you ever felt singled out in a positive way? Lately, every time I read one of my 5 different devotional books I think they are written just for me---but they are written for each of us who allows the Presence of God to use them in his/her life. New devotional book (from GI), Amy Carmichael's, Edges of His Ways----
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thankful Thursday
1/29/09
---one year I had to do all 365 days focusing on thankfulness---it became my gratitude journal---I never missed a day but some days I had to scratch/choose to see events as thanksgiving---it became lots easier, the more I practiced---that was a life lesson for me. "In every thing, give thanks."
Yesterday's entry seemed to be full of run-on sentences of mental meanderings. My stream of consciousness tangle/jumble was hard to untangle even for my hubby and he's lived with this confused brain for almost 40 years.
Even during early hour prayers this morning, I found my thoughts would wander. But…..the answer was in Jesus Calling----Keep your focus on Me. When your mind wanders, "Bring every thought captive," (2 Corin. 10:5) In My light anxious thoughts shrink…….. confused ideas are untangled.
I began with focusing on the Lord through song---thinking, " I just need a hymnal." Well, searching on the bottom shelf of the lawyers cabinet that had been my grandmother's, I found a Cokesbury Hymnal, copyright 1923. It cost 30¢. So, the Lord and I had a songfest and my heart began to overflow with gratitude.
When I sang, It is Well With my Soul with tears starting to flow, I knew that even in this challenge, my soul is well, He Keeps Me Singing as I Go---was the hymn reminder that kept me singing/thanking Him all day:
1. …while waiting for the doc phone call that never came.
2. …while celebrating with friends at Houston High*
3. …while talking to myriads of people who care
4. …while hugging a dear friend. IC, whom I had to track down
5. …while calmly responding to my father-in-law's fears about his surgery tomorrow---though my heart ached for him
*UTrust came to school to film the school nurse and the HHS Café ladies, based on a story I had written about them. I was the author, but they were the inspiration---it was their story, I just told it so others would know how each of them make a difference in the lives of so many of us---and they do it because they care. The nurse has already showered me with flowers and hugs and I left the cafeteria today laden with my favorite soup and BUTTER COOKIES!!!! That shoud be #6---b/c I'm thankful for such a big stash.
Things change with a call and before I could even post these earlier comments, I had another BIG reason to say Thank you, Lord! I had an entire chapel to myself, to kneel before the Lord I love and beg for extra measures of mercy and grace for a family I love as my own.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Weeping Wednesday (Don't stop here---read further)*
1/28/09
These tags of alliteration for the days of the week have been a part of my life for a long time—reminders that help me focus. So, though today is a day for weeping, it's not for crying physically as I have done on some days in this journey, but…..it's my day of asking God to "create in me a clean heart, O Lord and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10) To do that He has to show me my sin---not a pretty picture---but necessary, especially for one whose SELF can rear it's ugly head. Actually, my subtle sin is self-protection. (Inside Out by Larry Crabb p.100---almost erased this citation to put in an APA or MLA format---old habits die hard for librarians) Self protection is pain avoidance esp. at a deep level---one often builds walls in relationships to have that protection. Sometime it's pride—not willing to let people see all the warts---and now God is allowing me to practice showing my humanity, warts and all. BTW, I read today that there are over 2.5 million blogs but *only 4% of people read writings of others.......... basically bloggers are having conversations with themselves--- it has been therapeutic.
Just reread parts of Ortberg's When the Game is Over it all Goes Back in the Box.
(can't you see yourself clearing the Scrabble board and dumping all those wooden tiles into the little faux velvet bag?? ---a great read) I was reminded of so many truths---
The board you & I play on is in the shape of a calendar---live one square at a time.
In Ethiopia, a man's wealth is measured by his friends---In said measurement, I am indeed WEALTHY!
Arrange your life around what matters most to God----People matter.
On a lighter note, I have also learned, that there is no such thing as too many post-it/stickie notes. My dear ljj used to say I needed a Velcro bra----hm-m-m, maybe she's right---she usually is.
Family matters: As I wait, we are also awaiting by-pass surgery for Larry's dad & trying to aid his mother who spent the night here b/c they live in Oakland & she doesn't need to be alone. I was able to read Jesus Calling aloud to her as we sat at the breakfast table eating and watching Larry's (Pop-Pop's) birds feasting outside the window. How special is that?
My brothers and their wives from KY are coming Friday to bring Daddy so I can see them all before the Big MAC event. He won't spend the night but I'm grateful for their sacrifice---that's a lot of driving in one day.
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