Routine for a “New Dance”

4/22/10     I am a Daddy's Girl! 

During"back in the day" college years my phone rang every Wednesday, as Daddy could call long distance "free" from Clarksville Livestock Company,

For years, my daddy has been “routine” personified. He ate grapefruit for breakfast everyday. He walked every day. Had Wednesday lunch at Mama Davenport’s in Clarksville, TN every week. You could plan your days by him---and really down to the hour and sometimes even the minute. We often joked about him being the “man to set your clock by.”

• 6:14 am wake-up
• 7:15 am “library time.”
• 8am out the door.
• 10:15 post office run.
• 3:15pm front step Hopkinsville Livestock Company (originally Altsheler and Payne) with an ice-cold 6½ oz. bottled coke---the ones in the bottle with the light green tint and embossed at the bottom with the name of the local bottler. He chose that time to watch his granddaughters, Polly and Allyson, come by on the school bus.
• 9 pm his orange that he ate every night in front of the TV---a dish towel over his lap to catch the drips.
• Bedtime 10:14.

As he aged, the routine changed somewhat and his coke became a 12 0z. can b/c the little grocery in Trenton, KY where he got his “bottle” supply finally ran out. He eventually changed to the canned “diet Coke” variety. His orange became a ½ an orange. Lunch at Roundies remained a daily routine and any of the waitresses could get his order w/o writing it down b/c it rarely varied---salmon patties on Monday, always beets on his Tuesday plate, chicken and dumplings for Thursday and ending his week with his Friday fish. They always brought his jello with fruit about 2/3 through his meal. A nod from him was all it took. Sat. lunch at the VFW was a given b/c for his “big” dollar in the jar donation, he was fed---a lunch this World War II “purple heart recipient” deserves.

That routine gave him security---it’s what he hung his hat on. Plus, when Mother was living, she supported his routine and kept it running smoothly for him. Now he hangs his hat and coats and clothes all over everywhere---although there seems to be a system to that too, I just don’t always understand it.
In the last 6 mos. Daddy really began to fail---maybe even the past year but I was not with him as much b/c of my treatment/surgeries in Texas. He still walked at the mall, though slower and not as far, and in the past month, not at all. More and more his confidence is deteriorating. His memory is fleeting and too much of the time he won’t even try but just say, “I can’t remember anything.” I hear him talking to himself trying to remind himself of what is next and even his speech falters some. What I am seeing is that Daddy is desperately trying to hold on. Trying to hold on to life as he once new it. I want to hold on for him---to hold on to the healthy Daddy, still walking his mile. Daddy, working at age 88. Daddy, only taking 1 aspirin a day Daddy and reading The Upper Room daily.

Daddy---the way I’ve always known him.

Daddy, my first dance partner---the one who danced with me standing on the top of his feet as a child----danced with me at my wedding and even at my 45th high school class reunion. There won’t be any more of those dances with my earthly father. That makes me very sad!

How do I handle this new struggle in unfamiliar territory?
I, who just 2 nights ago encouraged others to “dance,” am going to have to apply those same principles to new steps needed for this unfamiliar dance---a dance to a new tune with my heavenly Father.

Discovering that I need new revelation from God’s word or maybe it’s new application of truth I already know---THOTS---Trusting Him On This Subject as I begin to seek

Accepting that aging of a parent and its physical difficulties are for the most part out of my control and accepting (trying) my emotional pain

Noticing God’s hand in the provision of 2 brothers who are the best and the one who is closest in distance never waivers in attentiveness to Daddy’s needs

Celebrating last night’s phone call---Daddy sounded good and even told me he got some chili at Roundies for lunch b/c it was the daily special---but he said “it wasn’t that special” and he wouldn’t order it again.

Extending hope to others in this type struggle as I learn from it---but hoping others will extend to me their stories of “long distance” care for parents and how it’s worked for them

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4