Fantasy Blog

2/10/11 You know you can’t ever truly believe what you read on a blog because bloggers want to put their best foot forward----I just recently read that. I should have read it sooner so I could “spruce” up my blog life for public viewing. It is true that I don’t tell all---maybe I’m sitting on the couch with laptop in (well, in my lap, where else) surrounded by laundry that needs folding. A few weeks ago I “lost” a roast and I chose not to tell that because how does one lose a roast between taking it out to thaw and coming home to an empty counter. The search that ensued was dramatic, with hubby, the bloodhound of most lost things at our house (most usually lost by me), checking everything from garbage cans and car trunks to my closet. We assumed eventually our nose would lead us to it---similar to those years of “lost” Easter eggs. I figured it was just in the lost items black hole with my swimsuit, numerous gloves, (my newest replacement pair lost yesterday on the coldest day of the year) car keys, MEMORY etc. Said roast was eventually found 10 days later in the freezer as friend Hal had suggested---though both eagle-eyed Larry and I had checked all 3 freezers numerous times.

Why is it so important to appear as something we are not? Why do we want to appear organized, thoughtful and smart, not to mention spiritual, as if we never miss a quiet time? Do we have it all together? Not at my house.

That desire is a cover-up for all our perceived inadequacies because we know “man looks on the outside.” We are people pleasers! "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7)

How many times do we need to be reminded to “never compare our insides with someone else’s outsides?”

Galatians 1:10 offers some great questions for pondering. Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Am I trying to please men? I thought about that as I was cooking today. (I was cooking---are you impressed---even making a homemade pie crust, though it wasn’t as light and tasty as when Elnora makes it) I rationalized that if I told too many of my foibles, folks wouldn’t want to read the blog because they would know how really pitiful I was, then how would I encourage or inspire? But God…..He let me keep the same title but made me include a few of the latest life snafus---because just sharing the good stuff would be a fantasy…..though I did sneak in the cooking part.

*Vanity of vanities, I didn’t even want to use my own "reminder finger" in the picture because it’s wrinkled, a touch arthritic and I don’t “do” manicures.

Solitude Sought

2/9/11 Duties. Details. Distractions. So many of those “D” words have been crowding my “quiet side” lately. I know many folks probably think I don’t even have a quiet side…..but God has shown me I need such. Just today as I sat curled up on the couch watching the snow falling quietly and gracefully, I was grateful for the time just to sit.

Do you ever ache for some quiet, yearn for some solitude? Job 3:26 says, “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” That verse shows the root of turmoil---lack of peace, lack of quietness, lack of rest.

Need to relieve your life of turmoil? Try a little solitude.

Maybe I, (and you?) in solitude, need to quietly reconnect with the One who reenergizes….. “in quietness and trust is your (my) strength.” (Isaiah 30:15)

Meet Ian

2/7/11 This delightful (even when he is on heavy pain meds) young 15 year old from Texas, will undergo surgery here in Memphis tomorrow morning at LeBonheur Children’s Hospital. The surgical team will remove some tumors from his brain. Ian has TS (tuberous sclerosis), a very rare disease that causes non-malignant tumors to grow in the brain and on other organs such as the kidneys, heart eyes, lungs and skin. A side effect of the TS is epilepsy and Ian has a very rare form of this seizure disorder. He had his first seizure five years ago. However, the more serious disease of TS was not diagnosed until approximately 2 ½ yrs later.

He had his first surgery this past Tuesday (2/1) and is doing remarkably well---with much of the swelling subsiding. He can now open his left eye again. Even in the midst of all of that, he had a way of capturing my heart. He let me know right away that he was going to be rooting for the Packers in the Super Bowl---guess who became my team of choice!! His southern Louisiana roots were clearly showing when, in somewhat of a slurred voice, he declared Memphis wings to be rather on the “wimpy” side. Naturally I had to introduce him to some serious “hot” wings from D’Bo’s---even promising to bring him some of D’bo’s “suicide” variety once he’d fully recouped. I wouldn’t want to send that new head of his into a tail spin trying to “digest” those things----though he assures me he will be up to the challenge.

The way that I was introduced to Ian was such a God thing---something I don’t take lightly. So, I will be praying for him as he begins his “BIGGIE” operation in the morning around 7:30 a.m. Prayers for---wisdom and skill for the doctors, exact location of the 2 large and possibly the third tumor that need to be removed, diminished pain following the surgery and extra measures of mercy and grace for Ian and his mom and dad, Jody and Wally, his brother Wes, his grandma (affectionately called fam-maw by him as a youngster) and his aunt Dawn plus a host of others whom I have yet to meet.

May all the Wrights "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

Now you’ve met Ian---allow God to move in your heart on his behalf.

SCRIPTURE MEMORY

2/6/11 ….was probably not written at the top of my 4^th grade homework sheet but that, in fact, was our assignment. Mrs. Munday (Alice M. Piper) would just tell us to learn Psalm 8 by heart so that we could recite it with the class----or Psalm 23, Psalm 24, or Psalm 121.

I assume today that learning by heart would be considered an idiom for memorizing. Yet, I think she had the right idea for if we learned something well enough that it became a part of our thought patterns, we then could be recite it quite easily without “contrived thinking.”

I really like that idea of learning by heart. Of course, I like everything that Mrs. Munday did. You might remember that she’s the one who held me in her lap when I cried over division. She took the “complex” elements of that arithmetic operation and separated them for me so that I could understand the inverse of multiplication.

Lately, I’ve wished she were close by so that I could ask her to help me move from the complex to the simple in scripture memory operations because I continue to struggle. For example, I still stumble over, Isaiah 41:10, which I received many times & in a variety of forms during my cancer journey. It’s a verse of trusting God and keeping fear at bay while being assured that He will continually give me all the strength I need and help me in any and every situation while holding me up in His righteousness

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I have certainly learned the meaning of this simple verse in my heart ---maybe that is more important than the recitation. If not, the simplified version, “Do NOT be dismayed, for I am your God…will continue to remind me daily of the “heart” of this verse---as it is reflected in the antique mirror that sits on my chest. This gift is from Michèle, my fellow MAC (cancer) sojourner, who understands that in the “new normal” things don’t always work as well as they once did, even scripture memory.

Are you thirsty?

2/5/11 This month hubby and I have decided not to “drink” any calories. That’s a “toughy” for me, so I’m grateful it’s a short month. I, unlike hubby, am not an artificial sweetener person. I like my cuppa with real sugar, and more than one lump is needed. I’m a sweet tea kinda gal. That other stuff just doesn’t cut it for me. It doesn’t satisfy. I have a taste for the real thing though I admit that cutting back on my sugar intake has probably been healthier for me. I have even tried the natural sweetener, Truvia,™ a few times but basically I’ve quit drinking much. That’s really not a good thing. Dehydration can appear pretty quickly, so I’ve been carrying around a big glass of water to ward off these symptoms. I don’t like that parched sensation. I long for that sip of “sweet tea” but drink good ole pure Memphis tap water instead.

Just last week, Dr. Crawford Loritts spoke of thirst in the Bible as being a picture of deep longing. He reminded us that though there are sometimes droughts in our soul, those droughts can be beneficial because they increase our longing for Him.

Water for our physical life is a matter of life and death. Spiritually it’s much the same. Psalm 42:1-2 gives us a picture of that truth. The deer in the verse pants longingly at the moving stream---he’s drinking from a living stream, not some dead stagnant pond. It’s where he gets his refreshment and satisfaction. We thirst with a longing and yearning from our inmost being. The cry of our soul thirsts for the living God. Nothing else will do.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Are you thirsty?

French Toast "Run"

2/4/11 Snow’s a-comin’ !!! Everytime snow is in the forecast, I, like many of you, have made a French toast “run.” (bread, milk and eggs) I have literally “run into” lots of folks doing the same thing. It’s like a battleground at Kroger for that last gallon of lactose free milk or a race as people jockey in line at the self-check out. It reminds me of the stories Larry would tell of his mom dragging him to the Clover Day sales at the old Goldsmith’s downtown at Main & Gayso. (Anyone have any idea why they were called “cloverday” sales?) He said that inevitably she would drag him to this big bin of lingerie where women would push, shove and grab for the seemingly last bra available.

Why are we like that? Pushing, shoving, grabbing, & running---unaware or worse, uncaring, of others around us. Why the panic? It’s not like we don’t have a grocery store or Walgreen’s on every corner or new sales and coupons at Macey’s every week. Is it indicative of our greed or is it a trust issue. Are we really going to starve if we miss a meal?

It’s not about us as Rick Warren reminds us in Purpose Driven Life. So why do we continue to act like it is---not just obnoxiously but even subtly? It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about the Lord and His purposes. His purposes for us. His purposes for others, through us, as we share and supply His love. (Philippians 4:10-14)

It’s about Him who daily supplies all our needs ---the One who provides a lot more than “French toast.” “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost……” (Isaiah 55:1-3)

2/5/11 No snow came, but this morning I used those "supplies" for making some good French toast!

Little Altars Everywhere……………

2/2/11 ………………is more than just a title of a novel I read in 1993. The sequel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, came out 5 years later. I know these things not from memory, but because all of this info is noted in one of my book journals. At best, these notations are a hodgepodge sketch of what I’ve read. BTW, these books are not a spiritual read---but more like dysfunctional reality books that are set in Louisiana in the 60s.

It’s the word altar from that title that has captured me lately. It had me wondering if I had altars scattered throughout my life. “Mizbe'ah,” Hebrew for “altar,” means “to slay” though altars evoke thoughts of sacred places. A sacred place where I knelt (on the maroon cushioned pads at the altar of FUMC in Hoptown) as I took communion alongside Daddy. A religious rite of bowing down and worshipping the One who was slain for me. One worthy of my worship at that altar.

What are the altars in my life? From a previous entry, folks know that I have built altars of ease and convenience. What am I so-o-o worshipping that I’m giving up, or sacrificing, or in effect slaying other things for, in order to keep these altars in my life? Ask yourself that hard question. Some of these sacrifices are very costly. How many altars are you erecting in your life? . “Not so little” altars of affluence or materialism seem to be erected in the homes of many Americans.

Recently, during a conversation with a young man, I became aware of his lifestyle being one of sacrificing the eternal on the altar of the immediate. (pleasure & instant gratification) That, my friends, is a very dangerous altar. But before we begin to look down our noses at those damaging choices, we need to consider the number of times we, too, have sacrificed opportunities with eternal implications because we were kneeling at the altar of busyness. Have you ever sacrificed relationships on the altar of work?

In the past I have certainly sacrificed time with family on the “altar of books.” But God …..showed me how I, at times, had wisely balanced & combined the two by sharing that book loving part of me with my own children. There it was in writing at the bottom of the page containing “Little Altars…” a list of books I had read aloud in 1993 to Josh and Molly. Josh was a senior in high school and he still shared that time with me. To this day he and Molly both talk about The Education of Little Tree as one of their favorite books from our read-aloud times. Even when they were in elementary and junior high, they listened as I read aloud Good-by Mr. Chips (9) and The Yearling (12) each morning to their older brother, Buddy. Shared adventures, through books with one’s kids, bring balance and topple self-serving altars. It’s those “self-serving little altars” we need to topple.

Corey’s Cross.....

1/31/11 .....

is a red leaf pottery cross. It was a Christmas gift from my dear friend and prayer bud of many years, Wynellen. It has just become Corey’s cross these last few weeks, as it has served as my reminder to consistently pray for him. Lately, Corey, my precious son-in-law, has had a lot on his plate. Plus, he’s married to spontaneous, outgoing, fun-loving, lady of a 1000 projects, “my” Molly and is father of Owen, an energetic and extremely verbal 3-yr. old.

The cross rests on the desk by my prayer chair---though it has been known to move around, I try to keep it very visible. Sometimes I carry it with me as I walk around because it nestles right in my hand and even has a smoothed out place for my thumb.

Mostly I’ve been praying Philemon verses 4-7, that he might be refreshed in the Lord as his life has so often refreshed others. I don’t want him drained dry by always giving out and not taking time for refreshment himself. Following James 1:5 I’ve also inserted his name in the verse as I pray it---“that he (Corey) might seek wisdom from the Lord in all things.”

Corey’s cross reminds me to pray but…..sometimes I need reminders to keep me from drifting off even during those prayer times. Does your mind ever do that when praying?

At last week’s Spiritual Life Conference, Dr. Crawford Loritts emphasized that God’s people have “drifting” in their spiritual DNA. We "drift" from our purpose or goals, or "drift" from our good intentions, or “drift” from our commitments. Our mind can even drift right in the middle of our prayers----at least mine can.

So…..when that happens, I squeeze it a little harder and hold it---it’s like a little “discipline” wake-up call. I begin thanking God for that reminder of praying for Corey upon every remembrance of him (Philemon 4). Is there someone you can thank God for and pray a verse on his/her behalf?

Just do the next right thing…….

1/29/11 We have lots of these NIKE swooshes around our house to remind us to “Just Do It.” But I think there should be delineation to ”it.” Doing “it” in life can be very self-serving if we don’t define “it.”

Confession in Thursday’s blog (1/27/11) showed that my “it” is sometimes defined by ease and convenience. I’m still musing on that conviction.

The Hasslens’ recent Twitter entry shared, “Hardly anything worth doing is easy, until we get to heaven.” (John Piper) The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. is quoted as saying "The time is always right to do what is right." II Corinthians 13:7, Paul states "Now we pray to God that you do no wrong; not that we ourselves may appear approved, but that you may do what is right,...." Even a recent SGA sign outside the HHS cafeteria had a reminder for me, “It’s important to do the right thing even if it’s not convenient.”(There's that convicting term again.)

All of those comments, quotes, and signs just kept hammering at me. But God……………lead me to my blue blog folder.

That folder had a CA article notation for “just do the next right thing” that not only delineated “it” for me but also gave an antidote of encouragement---aka prayer. Dr. Scott Morris told of an encounter with Dr. John Nash, who without prompting, shared the following: "Every morning I pray for one thing. Courage. I pray for courage to do the next right thing in the eyes of God.”

When I choose to do “it” in the upcoming days in my own life, I hope this wisdom will stick with me!

All about EASE!

1/27/11 “Easing into my day” is right up there with one of my top favorite things. An alarm is an antithesis of ease, especially one that goes off at 4:24. As for most working women who set an alarm 5-6 days a week, ease seems to be a foreign term. Obviously I’m looking for ease in all the wrong places. So why do I keep seeking it? Should I even be looking?

Ease, to me, is lack of stress or frustration----things falling into place according to my schedule. Ease is CONVENIENCE in all caps!

According to my Bible marginalia, Schaeffer (probably Francis) said, and I paraphrase, “the 2 stumbling blocks in the western world to living a Christian life were that Americans had no higher philosophy of life than-- 1) the pursuit of ease, that brings personal peace, and 2) affluence.” Whoa, that’s pretty condemning. I don’t think of my self as one who seeks affluence but I have definitely spent a good bit of time and energy rearranging my life to accommodate ease whenever possible.

Do I even want a “religion of convenience?” I don’t. Yet sometimes my very actions belie this. Certainly God’s word has some stern admonitions for pursuit of ease and affluence. Just take a look at two facets of the life of the wicked as recorded in Psalm 73:12. Behold, these are the wicked; And always at ease, they have increased in wealth. (NASB)

I think I’ll ease on down the road to ponder this awhile.