T.T.T.T.

3/24/11 Enjoy this picture sent to me by retired SCS librarian Elaine M. while I finish the blog. Her breakfast table arrangement with her GG's narcissus and Jesus Calling made me smile. I bet it will have author, Sarah Young smiling as well. I can't wait to hear Elaine's story of how she discovered that little devotional book read daily by so many of us. I've shared some of your stories with Sarah already. If you have one you'd like me to share with her, just let me know.

Heartsick

3/23/11

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

I’ve learned a little something as I’ve been in this “unhealthy” waiting room. Unfulfilled expectations can be crippling or at least disconcerting.

The doctor would call with results the first of the week----I’ve had no messages.

Is Wednesday the first of the week?

When I talk with an intermediary (nurse) and she says the reports indicate “something” in left carotid artery. She says medicine would be called in to handle it. No pharmacy has called to tell me that I have an RX waiting.

I could go on belaboring the point but that would be futile. Doctors are so-o-o busy. I know that. Someone has to run interference or they’d never get to go home. But I’m learning the importance of our words. Sometimes words bring hope and when there is no follow through, disappointment can be great. Maybe even devastating depending on the emotional stability of the one “let down.”

Think about children. Do adults “promise” them events that raise their hopes only to be disappointed again and again---sometimes to the point of disillusionment? Maybe the reasons were valid. (like a busy doc). Maybe working overtime was valid to the adult but didn’t ring true to the child. Maybe their reasons were just excuses.

Do you (I) do what we say we’re going to do? Do you (I) glibly tell someone we’ll give them a call and promptly forget that intention. Or did we really intend it? Was it just a mannerly thing we say in the South?

I think it’s important to back up our words with actions so that we don’t litter life’s pathways with “heartsick “ people.

Burden Bearing

3/21/11 Alone in a dark parking lot at 5:30 am. Overcome with a wave of nausea and cold sweats---I was scared. So.........

I unloaded my burdens today at work----maybe out of fear. Maybe out of necessity. But I have willing, caring, listening burden bearers at Houston and I felt safe. I do believe there is a time to bear our fears/cares/struggles in solitude. Sometimes I have to work through things and have a good cry before I’m ready to share. Sometimes I go right to my prayer partners. It takes wisdom to know which avenue to follow.

This past week I have felt burdened beyond belief as I have watched loved ones suffer and have felt helpless. Emotionally I have struggled. Physically I have struggled. I am wiped out. 

Tonight I’m taking my burden to THE Burden Bearer. I know that He gives to His beloved even in their sleep.(Psalm 127:2)

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matt. 11:28-30)

FATIGUE

3/20/11FATIGUE……..in ALL CAPS. I think that must be the label above the wall I just “hit.” Actually I seem to be surrounded by tired, sagging walls. Walls too exhausted and too WEAK to hold me up. There is no apparent way out. No doors labeled ENERGY are appearing.

Fret not, Dots. (Psalm 37:23-24)

Be anxious for nothing....(Philippians 4:6)

Maybe I need to pray Colossians 1:11 for myself as well as others.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, (ESV)

“worry-webs”

3/18/11

Wynelllen called and e-mailed to both check on me and to ask if I had read today’s Jesus Calling? My answer was, “Not yet.”

The entry had my journal jottings from 2 years ago.That “little” devotional with the BIG messages has continued to be right on target for the circumstances I face.

Two years ago today at Baylor hospital, I had a "line" in my hand. Today at Memphis Heart Clinic I had a "line" in my arm. Disconcerting circumstances both times.

But God……in 2009 had me sharing Jesus Calling books (another Wynellen provision) with my Baylor nurses, one of whom (Martha) was later diagnosed with cancer. This time the receptionist at the Memphis center had the book on her desk. She told me it had helped her through a really rough year. I was able to e-mail Sarah Young (author of Jesus Calling) and then give Camille the reply---- Sarah Young’s prayers for her and all her readers. What a blessing.

But….the “worry-webs” today had been about to consume me. I was in a tangle.

• No early time in His Presence
  
• Problems, though minor, at my morning tests
  
• Meeting with hospice for Mommar as she sat there, hearing but not understanding
  
• Daddy’s paperwork fiasco over ambulance transport from KY to Vanderbilt rehab facility
• Missing a call from “my” clinic---already closed was message when I returned call

Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest, 1/2) reminds us that "worry is an impertinence to God." He also asks (4/20), are you “slandering God by daring to worry?”

I began to focus on giving thanks. Thankful for;

• Wynellen’s reminder and the supper she provided,
  
• One of my tests was administered by a girl who announced, “You were my librarian in 7^th & 8^th grade,”
  
• A kind, helpful hospice nurse for Mommar---help available 5 days and any other time as deemed necessary,
  
• Daddy’s safe arrival at new facility with brother, Bobby & Louise at his side,
  
• Safe arrival of brother, Buddy & Charlotte to Louisville after 3 sleepless nights of hospital duty
  
• A clinic that calls even if I’m not sure why.

Matthew 6:25a & 33-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, (Take no thought of all these circumstances, Dotsy)

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Time in His Presence is crucial, especially when you’re rushed and tired) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (A-men to that)

Tonight I’m using God’s word, one verse at a time to tear down my “worry webs” one strand at a time.

GOD-PLACED

3/17/11

Date--3/15/11-3/16/11

Place-- Jennie Stuart Memorial Hospital Hopkinsville, KY

Room 503--At Daddy’s bedside.

There’s no place else I’d rather be today.

Does he know me? No. Can he tell me his name ? No.

Is there hope for a better tomorrow---yes, but never the way it once was.

Highlights: (This is where the focus needs to be.)

Surrounded by family

Daddy’s answers to questions when speech isn’t garbled

Louise asks, “What can I do for you?” Daddy answers, “Politics.”

I ask if he wants more jello. Daddy answers, “Sales have fallen off.” I wonder if that means he thinks we can’t afford more jello.

Laughter---not at him but with each other

Time alone with him through the night

12 “wet” changes between 9 p.m. & 6 a.m. ---often included gown, pads, sheets & sometimes blanket---that’s positive, because “wet” is preferable. (Medicare won’t pay if he gets an infection, so doc doesn’t want a catheter—oh, the insurance “adjustments” of our red tape world.)

Reading Psalms aloud to him. Reminding him that Psalm 121 was Mama Davenport’s favorite. He ate lunch at her house every Wednesday for years and years. Daddy loves a big lunch---always has. Still does.

“Code Red” doors slamming and lights flashing didn’t scare him as the “drill” took place. I, on the other hand, didn’t have a clue what was going on and was nervous.

2 a.m. – 3 a.m.---jello picnic. I became his new best friend when I commandeered some cherry jello from the code locked room. Waitresses at Roundie’s, Daddy’s later years lunch-time haunt, knew to always bring him the “daily flavor” jello after his meal so he could really savor it.

Help from nurses though tremendously short-staffed. Daddy’s first un-garbled and coherent response to nurses question, “Why do you keep kicking off the covers? Are you hot?” Daddy’s response, “I don’t like it.” His answer made sense. It was clear & we could understand all four words. I could have done back flips. What a biggie----a great answer, from a man who never, (rarely) complains.

Daddy’s smiles. He doesn’t know where he is or who he is but he’s not in pain.

So-o-o God-placed. There was no place else I’d rather be!

‘honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 19:19)

Mis-placed or God-placed

3/15/11 I’m in Memphis. Daddy’s in a hospital bed in Hopkinsville. Shouldn’t I be there? My heart says yes. My body and my family say no. I feel mis-placed. Yet, Buddy’s recent sermons on Joseph and the seemingly mis-placed events in J's life were highlighted by each placement clearly being for the purpose of a sovereign God to work all things together for good for His people. So I need to ask myself, “What is God’s plan for me in this; what are the life lessons?”

I know that I learn in the suffering. I know, from experience that sufferings can become blessings. I know that God will never leave me.

I know that after yesterday’s ultrasound I feel “safe enough,” with Larry driving me to KY, to see Daddy. So, I’m following my emotional heart, not necessarily my physical heart, and headin’ out. It will be a brief visit but I will at least be able to see Daddy for a bit and that seems like the right place for me.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

So wherever I'm placed today, I know that I am NOT misplaced!

Love-o-Meter

3/14/11

Want to check out your love life or love-o-meter for others? Francis Chan suggests in his book, Crazy Love, that you insert your name where love or its pronoun are mentioned in I Corinthians 13:4-8. Do that for each phrase as you read aloud this Monday’s passage for meditation.

Dotsy is patient. Dotsy is kind. Dotsy does not envy. (You get the “convicting” idea.)

Love is patient

and kind;

love does not envy

or boast;

it is not arrogant

or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable

or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things

endures all things.

God calls us to love. To love Him and others as ourselves. Too often we love ourselves above all else. God measures our lives by how we love. (Chan, 93) How is your love-o-meter looking?

NECESSARY Pruning

3/13/11 Yesterday, I spent time with hubby in the yard with clippers and pruning shears. Felder Rushing, former Memphian, and 10th-generation American gardener, would be rolling his eyes because the Liles prune when time allows. Convenience often rules our lives even to our lawn care. I spent less time outside than hubby did though I did try not only to direct his efforts but also to try my hand with the pruning shears as well. Fatigue took me inside before the job was completed but I took a spiritual lesson with me as I closed the door to the outside world and sat at the feet of my Master Gardener.

(John 15) ¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

Pruning both in the garden and in our spiritual lives is necessary for healthy growth. We have to get rid of the superfluous and useless parts that compete with the healthy growth. Pruning helps to bring balance and it guides the shaping of the plant (or person) to be all it (or she) was intended to be by the one who planted it.

These last 6-8 weeks, the Lord has begun an awareness of pruning that is needed in my life. I don’t have enough time in my day for everything. My time needs trimming and shaping. I need to know my Master Gardener’s plan for me for this season in my life. I know that pruning is painful. I just need to remember that God will never leave me and His pruning is loving surgery to allow me to let His “Sonlight” go deeper than it ever has before. If it becomes the blessing that my cancer was, I know I’m going to love the results. **

A Well pruned life---what does it look like? I’ve seen it in the lives of others---Marge Andrews, Geary Irwin, Mary Ann Frazier. But I don’t know what it looks like in my own life----but God ….God willing and guiding (“apart from Me, you can do nothing.” John 15:6), I’m going to find out because I have recently enrolled in Basic Pruning 101, A Guide to NECESSARY Pruning. Care to join me? The text is God’s Word and is free on-line.

**Before I even could post this blog entry, I received an upsetting phone call. I had planned to be in KY this week for the first part of Spring Break. My cardiologist visit on Wednesday and another carotid artery “episode” thwarted those plans.

This phone call was from brother, Bobby, with an update on Daddy. Friday, Daddy had trouble eating lunch because his right hand was swollen & wouldn’t work for him. Care clinic and ER visits showed no stroke but an appointment was set for Monday with his internist. Late this afternoon an ambulance took him to Jennie Stuart hospital. Daddy has had a stroke and though we’re hopeful it’s mild, he couldn’t recall Bobby’s name or remember his own birth date.

Please join me in praying God’s best for Daddy.

Saturday's Post----------More Than Words……

3/12/11……that’s what encouragement often is. Caring people who “bear one another’s burdens.” (Galatians 6:2) My life has been filled with these “who are more than cheerleaders” my “T-Cups” with whom I shared a 1,000 laughs last night, my “lunch bunch,” my “dining divas”, my Hoptown chums, college chums, Pi Phis, my dancers, neighbors, my Mary Flo, my Michèle etc., etc., etc. As many of you know these were the ones who “fulfilled the law of Christ” as they bore my burdens through my cancer journey. They carried my family and work responsibilities while feeding, nursing and baby sitting me. These folks in the land of the living showed the goodness of the Lord. (Psalm 27:13) and therefore I was not dismayed.

All of us of the community of faith are called to do likewise.

Caring people (those "helping" others in need) bring to mind today's Scripture text which is a powerful rule for the earnest follower of Christ. We are to "bear one another's burdens." To "bear" means to carry or endure. A "burden" means a weight that is heavy or crushing. We have all had experiences in life when others have some alongside and borne our burdens. We are called to do likewise. GAL 6:10 "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."

What does "burden bearing" and "doing good" look like? Phone call or e-mail. Errand running. Intercessory prayer at 3am. (Thanks, Bernie) Mail pick-up. Babysitting.

This verb, “bearing” is both imperative (a command) and continuous action. (on-going) Writing that card, making that phone call, picking up that RX or praying for those who need relief from their hardship or difficulty, can be a way to bless them. This has the power to lighten burdens and encourage beyond positive words.

Encouragement is more than words.